Friday, January 30, 2009

I've Arrived

'Just wanted to update everyone. Made it to Hong Kong safely. Now in the neighboring city of Macao (where my mom and dad grew up). It's also the new "Vegas" of China. Casinos such as the Venentian and the Wynn have built large casinos here. Went to the Venetian today... WAY crowded. And I lose on the slots. boo. But my Mom won $80! That's $80 in Macao currency.. which is equivalent to $10 US. hehe.

In other news, I've lived up to being a fatty and have been eating non-stop since I've arrived. I'm pretty sure I've already gained 5 extra pounds. eek!

More to come later! Hope everyone is doing well!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Oh! 10,000 Views!

HAHA, so I totally forgot to keep track and already received my 10,000th view! Probably a few days ago! YAY! I'm so happy to have so many viewers (cuz you all know I'm a reader and comment whore) and I'm just glad that you guys come back to read up on my life. I'm happy to share it with all of you. :)

Not too much to say right now....
On Monday night, Matty called me to see what I was up to. I told him that I was actually on my way out (semi-true) but that he should stop by real quick because he left his cheese grater at my place. I told him to give me a call when he made it downstairs so that I could run it down to him. I didn't want him to come up, just because I don't want to lead him on anymore. So he called me, I went downstairs, and I gave him his grater. He had just come from his second-chance audition at Disney, but got cut again. So he had this horribly bummed and "feel sad for me, please" face. Wasn't working on me though. We just gave each other a hug and then I said goodbye and went back upstairs. We've only been in contact sparsely through text and AIM since then.

And updating everyone about my documentary film, I just finished all the scheduled interviews today. Had a REAL long day of interviews on my very last day! Everyone waited until the last minute to sign up for an interview! LOL. So, now it's time to edit edit edit! I have 7 hours of interview footage to go through. And then there's additional footage to sift through and insert into the film. Such a huge project. I'm never going to finish by my Feb 13 deadline.... wish me luck.

Responding to the comments about the Dealbreaker: Thanks everyone for your comments. I'm happy that you support me on the no-smoking rule. I have to say I was being way bitchy in the post. But I think that's just cuz I was just REALLY over him that night and needed to vent. Then responding to comments about me leaving for Hong Kong: Thanks for the well wishes! It's really not a very "relaxing" vacation because I'm going to be running around a lot, getting all the business done. But hopefully I will find some time to head to Disneyland and to have some great food. As for calling myself fatty... I just like to be self-deprecating... if you haven't figured that out yet. But in all honesty, I think I'm in the best shape in a REAL long time. And it's just going to get better once the new parade starts! Now I want to work on my arms, chest, shoulders, and back. Anyone have any good dumbbell exercises to share for those muscle groups?

Alright... this is my last post until I get to Hong Kong! "Talk" to you all then!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


I'm getting on a plane Wednesday night on a 10:20pm flight to Hong Kong. I have some passport/identification card business to take care of. You see, I was born in Hong Kong, and that apparently makes me eligible for a special identification card for the Hong Kong S.A.R. I've been needing to take care of this for a few years now but just haven't found the time to go back there. But since I'm currently not getting any hours at work, it's perfect time for me to go. However, it's really a VERY short trip. Kind of a waste of money... but my parents wanted me to take care of it, so whatever. I'm leaving Wednesday night and won't be arriving in Hong Kong until Friday morning (~6:00am, due to crossing the Date Line and all...). And then I'm flying back to the States on Tuesday night, arriving back in California also Tuesday night (again... Date Line). I just have my second job that requires me to be there Saturdays and Wednesdays. So I'm already missing this Saturday... I can't miss that next Wednesday too! So I had to be back for that.

While there, I'll also try and visit Hong Kong Disneyland. Actually... I WILL visit Hong Kong Disneyland. Make it my #1 priority. :P And then of course, visiting with relatives and all that comes in at a close second. I'm just excited to go back to EAT EAT and EAT! Hong Kong has one of the BEST variety and quality of food in the whole world! Just watch the Travel Channel or the Food Network. They'll tell you! Hong Kong is like a heaven for fatties like me! I'm probably going to come back at least 10 pounds heavier.

Well, I definitely hope to keep everyone up to date while on my trip to Hong Kong. I'll have internet access. So I'm sure I'll update the blog every night. I'll take loads of pictures and share it here too. :)

Monday, January 26, 2009

Audition and Dealbreaker

I'm actually pretty tired right now again, but I want to write about what happened the past two days before I forget too much. Well, on Friday night, Matty came over for dinner. We went to the store to buy some last minute ingredients. Matty made veggie potstickers from scratch and I made my famous fried rice (sans meat) and a banana-chocolate bread. I must say that our dinner was a great success. Everything tasted amazing. I LOVED my fried rice. hehe. Even though it didn't have any meat in it, it still tasted like good fried rice. That is until Matty tampered with it. He said it needed more pepper. And I agreed with him, so I asked him to just sprinkle pepper into the wok. I was doing something else while he was doing that, but then I realized after about 15-20 seconds, he was STILL sprinkling pepper into it... and of course, when I got my plate of fried rice, it was WAY too pepper-y. He enjoyed it... but it really took away from the flavor of my fried rice. booo. strike one.

After dinner, we sat on the couch to watch a little bit of TV. We were both on our computers checking our emails and facebooks. Then he started telling me about this new anime cartoon that his friend got him hooked on. I have NO idea what it's about... something about super heroes that like food? I don't know... but he kept going on and on about it. Could he really not tell that I wasn't listening to him anymore? I think he must've talked for a good 10 minutes, explaining the anime in detail... didn't hear a word. Blah Blah Blah. strike two.

Well, not everything was bad though. We did have our sexy time. Got a little hot and heavy on the couch this time. Made out on the couch for a while, then took each others clothes off and made out naked on the couch for a while. Then I gave his dick some attention with my mouth. He seemed to like that. :P And then I climbed on top of him and rode him until I came on his stomach. Man, it felt good. ;) Took a shower together afterwards. He told me I looked good while we were in there. Said he liked my muscles and my abs. Ha. Sure said the right things there. guess I'll rescind strike two.

That night, he slept in my bed. We went to bed at 10:30pm. So early! It was because we were both going to the audition for the new parade at Disneyland. We wanted to get enough rest so that we could look our best for the audition. Well, I guess I'm just not used to sharing my bed.. especially my super dinky twin size bed made for one person. I was tossing and turning all night. I couldn't find a comfortable position. All the while, Matty was sound asleep. Blah... nerves about the audition probably didn't help the sleeping problem.. afterall, my income depended on it. I NEEDED to get this parade. It was real important to me.

So we wake up in the morning. We have some of my banana-chocolate bread for breakfast... YUMMY! And then we grab our stuff and head down to our cars. We had to drive separately because I was going to be leaving the audition to go to my other job, so we couldn't carpool. Well, when he got down to his car, he says to me: "So, my friend Bianca gave me this cigarette. Do you mind if I smoke it?" Err... first of all, I HATE smokers. I can't stand cigarette smoke. I just can't. When I was 10 years old, I was taking a 16 hour flight to Hong Kong. Back then, smoking had not been banned from flight yet. There were still smoking sections on the plane. And of course, our family was stuck in the smoking section. I had to endure 16 hours of secondhand smoke. THAT is why I cannot stand smoking. I told him: "Well, you can do whatever you want (because I'm not about to tell him what he can or can't do), but I just really hate smokers." And then I walked away and went to my car... strike two.

We got to the parking lot at backstage Disney, and we walk down together. I could smell the smoke on him. Just lovely... We get to the "holding area" for the audition, and I see a bunch of my friends standing together and chatting. I decide to stand elsewhere with Matty. I just didn't want to introduce my friends to Matty... that's so bad, isn't it? I just didn't want to deal with having to explain who Matty was. I'm still not out to everyone at work, and the day of the audition was definitely NOT going to be the day that that was going to happen. So I just kinda stayed off to the side with Matty.

We finally get in and we start to learn our first dance. I picked up the dance right away. It was a moderate level dance, but you gotta really be able to move to make it look good. Matty looked like he struggled with it. Despite what he says about having danced before, I could tell that he was not a dancer. I was pretty confident with it and I was getting into my "zone." When I'm at auditions, I just have this way of getting focused and doing what I need to do to learn it and retain the choreography. And that includes NOT over practicing it because it'll just screw me up later. So when they gave us time to practice it on our own, I sat down and just concentrated and visualized the dance in my head. Matty, however, was frantically going over the steps. He kept asking me questions about the choreography. And I would help him. I'd remind him the order of the routine and gave him some pointers on how to make it look better. I occasionally stood up and went through the routine with him, but again, this was already going out of my "zone." And because I didn't want to over practice, I didn't do the choreography full out with him, and he got mad at me! He was frustrated with how slowly he was getting the routine and then he was taking it out on me!! I thought to myself, "HOLD ON HERE. I'm trying to help you right now, but instead you're mad at ME for not doing it full out! I'm SORRY that I'm trying to concentrate on the routine in my own way. I have much more at stake than you do! I NEED this job. You're doing this for fun. ARGH." An overwhelming strike three!

Needless to say, Matty didn't make it pass the first cut. He was called into another room with about 100 other boys. They were told to either go home or come back on Monday for a stilt audition. Matty was asked to come back for the stilts. Apparently, he's going, even though his facebook status says that he feels he has no chance. Whatever. After his attitude at the audition, I was completely over him.

Strike 1 and 2A weren't that bad. But strike 2B and 3 were definite dealbreakers, in my book. When we first met, I told him that I didn't like smokers. I had clearly asked if he smoked. And I told him my story about the plane. And he told me that he had just recently quit, and I had told him that I was proud of him for doing that. Guess that didn't last very long. I just CANNOT date a smoker.. it's seriously one thing I REFUSE to do. And as for his attitude at the audition, I just think it was selfish of him to not recognize the importance of the audition to me and how I needed to concentrate on the audition in my own way. I had expressed to him a few times during the audition about how I go about concentrating and focusing. But I guess he just didn't listen and was just worried about himself. Like I said, I tried to help, but really, there wasn't much I could do for him.

I think I'm going to be seeing him again tomorrow, since he'll be at the stilt audition. I'm just going to tell him that it's not working out with the two of us. We just don't have that much in common and I'm going to tell him that smoking is pretty much a dealbreaker for me. Just gotta end this.

God, I must sound like a bitch... tell me what you guys think... am I being ridiculous? Or do you agree with me?

P.S. After my audition, I still had to go to my second job. So when I came home at night, I was exhausted and wanted to just rest on my bed. But when I got in my bed, all I could smell was cigarette smoke that had gotten into my blanket and my sheets. Matty had smelled like cigarette smoke when he spent the night... I had just assumed that he was around friends that smoked... so I didn't question him about it. But now knowing that he had started smoking again, I just couldn't help but blame HIM for making my bed all smelly. Just when I thought I could take a much needed nap on my bed, I had to instead take off my blanket and my sheets and wash them. THAT is why I had to wash my sheets... sorry it wasn't anything naughty. LOL.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

WAY Tired...

I'm way tired. I really wanted to update everyone about things. But I'm just sleepy and not up for writing a long blog post. Worst part is, I'm washing my bed sheets and blanket right now... so I can't actually sleep until I take them out of the dryer.. blah... And no, it's not what you're thinking about why I'm washing my sheets. Ok... well, it kind of is. BUT, I guess you'll just have to wait until tomorrow until I explain.

But, I WILL tell you that I went to the audition this morning. Got there at 8:30am... didn't finish dancing until 3:30pm. Had to go back at 6:00pm to find out if we got anything. Explains why I'm so tired right now. But, long story short... I GOT THE PART! I'm going to have a job!! So freakin' excited! I can't wait!

But now... I'm going to veg on the couch while I wait for my sheets to dry....

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Dinner Plans

Today, I hung out with a few friends from work. We all got together for the filming of my video. Towards the end of the day, my friend Pip (one of the funniest girls I know) asked if we were all free for dinner tomorrow. She had been planning a big dinner for the longest time (since Christmas) and we just all haven't been together to plan it, since we're all unemployed and all. But when she asked me, I had to decline because Matty is coming down tomorrow night and we're having dinner together and he's staying the night again.

Well, the moment I said I had dinner plans, of course everyone asks, "Is it a date?" I didn't know what to say... Like E over in I Gotta Story To Tell I was blindsided by the question and didn't know how to respond. Only one person there knew that I'm gay. Everyone else were close friends, but I had not come out to them yet. So, I just deny that it's a date, but that just made it even more obvious that it really is a date. They kept asking me who I was going on a date with. Interestingly, noone asked, "who is she?" They kept it gender neutral....

They all seemed genuinely excited for me to know that I was going on a date, but I just could not bring myself to tell them it's with a boy. I guess I just didn't feel like it was the right situation in which to come out to them. I'd rather it be a bit more of an intimate moment...

We were all heading out to our cars during all this. So during our walk to the cars, they all pretty much dropped it, because it was obvious to them that they weren't going to get anything out of me. We all said our goodbyes, but I got in the car with Pip because she was taking me to my car (I parked elsewhere). As we buckled our seat belts, she asked me again who my date is. This was the kind of "more intimate moment" that I was talking about. But yet again, I could not bring myself to tell her. I don't know what was holding me back. She gave me several chances to do it. But I did not do it.

I thought I was pass this. I thought I had been ready to tell my friends. I had told myself before that if they ask, I would tell them. And that I wasn't going to lie to them anymore. Well... technically, I didn't lie, because I just refused to tell them who it was with. But still, I just don't know why I didn't tell her.

I'm kind of disappointed in myself...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

LOST Returns!

All 4 seasons of the show are ONLINE at It's a tad late to start watching all the episodes thus far, since the season premiere is TONIGHT at 9pm, but if you DO start tomorrow, you can maybe get through all 4 seasons by the time the 2nd episode! Plus, there is the CLIP SHOW at 8pm, showing you all the important scenes thus far. It will help you understand what has happened on the show.

Man I LOVE this show! It really isn't for the people who have watched it a few times here and there. It's for the die-hard fans... the one who have watched every episode. There's so much in the mythology of the island and the characters. It's sometimes hard to keep track of, but if you do, it really pays off because you get all the little surprises and twists that they throw at you. ;)

And I KNOW there are a lot of people who really don't care for this show... but if you're not a fan, please be respectful and don't bash it here... find somewhere else to do it. But if you love the show, LET ME KNOW so we can discuss! :P

Boring Day

Didn't really have an exciting day today, so not much to blog about. I DID have lunch with my ex-girlfriend (Jen) though. She really has to stop calling me her Will Truman. I never really enjoyed the character of Will on Will and Grace. I always thought he was too high strung and annoying. And then Jen proceeds to tell me that's exactly what I am. Grrr... that bitch.

I spent a large portion of the rest of my day hanging out with my sister and her two kids at her house. We watched TV pretty much the whole day. Nice way to spend the holiday. ;) Except for the part where my sister didn't make any food for me.. what kind of mom is she if she doesn't even cook? Argh. I had to eat the leftovers from lunch and then scrounge for other food. Definitely did NOT fill me up. Doesn't she realize I'm broke and need her to feed me??

I'm back at my own home now.. comfort of my own little studio apartment. :) After spending 2 and a half days in a house full of people, I finally had some time alone to have some... "happy time." :D And I went all out and had some fun at It was definitely a much needed wank. Now I'm finishing up Extreme Makeover: Home Edition that was recorded on my DVR but am surprisingly NOT tearing up from it. Oh well.. maybe next week's will be better.

Goodnight everyone! Look forward to any comments you guys may have... and yes, that was me shamelessly asking for comments because I'm a comment whore. And I'm nearing my 10,000 visit mark! How very exciting!

Monday, January 19, 2009


Can I just take this time to tell everyone that I love them? Is that alright with you? Yea? Ok good...


I really mean it. I've "met" many of you now, either through email, IM, Yahoo, MSN, or even just the comments ... and I'm so thankful and grateful for you guys being a part of my life. You've all really become a special group of friends for me... a group of friends that know me better than many of my friends IRL. And I cherish every friendship that I've made.

And to the future frienships that I make from this blog.. YAY to those too! I don't know you yet, but I love you just as much ;)

Secret picture:

I'm not really that dark... lighting...

Sunday, January 18, 2009


So I'm home right now... home as in with my family. Or rather just my sister and HER family. My Mom and Dad are in China at the moment. But I'm home this weekend because I'm attending my uncle's funeral. It's sad, but he's been sick for a while. I think it was almost 10 years ago when my uncle needed surgery for something, and he suffered a stroke while under the knife. Since then, he has never been able to regain full functionality. He was able to walk, but only very slowly, so most of the time he was in a wheelchair.

When my family immigrated to California from Hong Kong, we stayed at his house until my parents were able to purchase our own home. He was my dad's sister's husband. I'm very grateful to him and his family for opening up his home for us. He was also a restaurant owner and he gave my mom and dad a job while they looked for jobs too. So I guess we owe a lot to him.

It's sad that I was never too close to him though. I did spend a summer taking care of him when his stroke first happened. And our familys would always go out to eat together and stuff like that. But still, I wasn't particularly close to them. I guess I'm not particularly close to any of my family members. We get along, but I guess I just don't have that family bond with anyone. What does that say about me...?

Well, the funeral is tomorrow afternoon. Then spending the rest of the night relaxing with my sister and playing with her two devil children (lol, I'm only kidding.... well, sorta...). I actually do hope I develop a special family bond with my niece and nephew. Hopefully I'll always be the fun uncle that takes them to Disneyland whenever they want. ;)

Saturday, January 17, 2009

My back...

So I woke up this morning (yes, morning... it was a miracle in the first place that I woke up before 1pm), and went to go to the bathroom. Then to wash my hands and face and brush my teeth. As I bent over the sink to rinse my mouth, my lower back had this HORRIBLE pain and I had to stand straight up again real fast. I tried to bend over again to see what was going on and the pain was still there. It's not a shooting pain.. kind of a dull pain... but it hurts and I couldn't really bend down or even sit down for quite a while. Slowly, I trained myself to adjust my back to a certain position so that I could actually sit in my car and drive.

And the worse part is today was my dance class at Disney. It's our little "preview" of the new parade that we're auditioning for. So it really wasn't the best day to be having this pain. The whole time warming up for the dance class, I was in pain. Having the ability to bend over is pretty important in dance....

I just worked through it. The pain has subsided, but it's still kind of there. I just have to be careful how I sit and stuff. This has happened before. And it kinda just went away after a few hours last time, so I hope it's the same this time. I'll just make sure to stretch? I dunno. I went to the athletic trainers last time and they couldn't tell me what was wrong.

I knew I should've gone to the chiropractors this past week... I was just too lazy to call for an appointment. This is a sign that I need to go make an appointment..

Friday, January 16, 2009

Trying to Play Dead

So yesterday, I called the Central Casting hotline to check for any extra work that I can get. There were quite a few potential jobs and I actually replied to a call for a Filipino looking man, late 20s, to play a dead soldier for the upcoming movie Terminator: Salvation. The description is a dead soldier in the rain, lying on the ground, in just his boxers. The background is that the soldier was killed and his uniform was stripped off of him so that the bad guys could wear it. Wet and naked on the ground?! How fun would that have been! Obviously, I didn't get it... but it's just so cool that I CAN be doing things like this!

Biting Off More Than I Can Chew

First off, I continue to get the MOST views from a reader in Fullerton. I'm soooo curious to know who you are! Have you already said "HI" and I just didn't know it was you? Email me at if you are the Fullerton reader! Well, heck, email me even if you aren't the reader! I just love emails ;) .... now back to regularly scheduled programming...

Today, I went full steam ahead on a project that I had been preparing for a long time. It's a short documentary film about the parade that I was involved with at Disneyland. It's more of a farewell video now... being made as a way to remember the parade. I'm going to be sharing this film with my fellow cast members and crew members.

Now, I have no real experience in film making. I have not taken any sort of film classes while in school and everything I've learned to do has been self taught. I bought some books on film making, especially documentary film making, and read a few online papers on the subject as well. So I have some idea of what I need to be doing, but now that I've really committed to this, I'm a little scared that I won't be able to actually achieve an end product that I will be proud of.

Today, I went inside Disneyland to do some location scouting for possible interview locations. A few of my friends were with me to help me in this process. And since we had time, I actually conducted some interviews too. It was actually fun. But in reviewing the tape, I found that there were many problems with the footage. The lighting wasn't the best, the audio was a mess (because our cell phones were turned on and I could hear the GSM feedback.. the noise you hear when you put your phone up near a speaker), the camera was shaky (because I didn't want to bring a tripod into Disneyland because I didn't want to draw extra attention to us), and the camera operator just did a poor job keeping the camera steady.

I just want everything to look and sound good, but so far, this first try has been a failure. I just hope that further interviews will be better. I guess I have a list of things that I know I need to change for the next time I go out and film. But I just hope I don't run into further problems.

In addition, I still have to learn how to use the new Video Editing software that I got for my computer: Final Cut Express. The software that was included with my Mac (iMovie) just isn't going to cut it because I'll need more functions in editing the audio and video. But I haven't even figured out how to import the footage into the computer using Final Cut Express yet! I think that is my biggest worry right now... it seems pretty complicated. I have an instructional book on the software, but I just haven't had the patience to sit there and read it. I guess I better do that soon!

Well, wish me luck on this project... I'm going to need it.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Extra Work

This morning, Jon and I went on a little field trip up to Burbank, CA to register ourselves for Extra work. And Extra as in television and movie extras... the background actors. We got there at the slotted 10:30am - 11:30am for registration and there was already a lot of people there. We stood in the big room while the lady made her announcements and explained the forms we had to fill out. During this time, Jon and I were NOT smart enough to notice where the registration table was and how they were on the OTHER side of the room from where we were standing. So when it came time to register, a mad rush of people went to line up in front of the registration tables and Jon and I were left to queue way behind them. The line started around 10:45am... I didn't get to leave the premises until 1:15pm. BLAH.

So we stood in line forever. There were two lines. Jon was in a different line because they separated us. Don't know why we didn't just insist on standing in the same line. So, of course, cuz this is just how my life works, I'm in the SLOW line. The lady working my line was this young girl who looks like she hadn't eaten in 5 days and moving SO slowly. Jon's line, however, had a lady who has clearly had her breakfast because she was zooming through everyone's paperwork. I think 2 or 3 people completed their registration in Jon's line for every 1 person in my line. It was ridiculous.

After paperwork came time to take our picture. Boys had the option of just taking on picture with our shirts on or taking an additional picture with our shirts off at no additional cost. Um... why NOT take the shirt off? It would mean that the casting directors have one more picture to look at you and you may be considered for scenes that involve bathing suits, swimming, whatever. And it didn't cost any extra for the extra photo! So it was a no-brainer to me! But apparently, people were too shy to do it. Yes, people can see you in the photo room taking your shirt off. But whatever! I'm used to it. I'm a big ol' slut that shows off on cam, so this was no biggie. :P Jon didn't do it. He complained about how the lighting was horrible and the white background was just going to wash him out cuz he was so pale. BLAH BLAH BLAH. What a pussy. It's not like he has a bad body either. Whatever - he'll only have himself to blame when I book more shows than him.

So yay! I'm now registered to become an extra in TV and movies!! A bunch of my friends went to register last week and just yesterday, two of them got work on the set of BROTHERS AND SISTERS (!!!!!!), dressed in bikinis for a pool scene. LOL! Ok, first off, Brothers and Sisters is one of my favorite shows on television! It's on ABC on Sunday nights at 10pm (after Desperate Housewives). Second... um... there is no second. It's just TOTALLY AWESOME that they were getting paid to be near celebrities the whole day!

So I'm excited to hopefully get a gig soon. Apparently, there have been a lot of calls for HOUSE! And CSI:NY! And some people are saying that they're starting to cast extras for the next Twilight movie too. This is some exciting stuff! And you better believe that if I book a job, I'll let you all know about it so you can look for me on TV or the big screen! ;)

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Bromance, Viriginity

Has anyone watched Bromance on MTV? I didn't realize it was a competition series where Brodie Jenner "auditions" guys to be a part of his posse. Sigh... how ridiculous. Ok, I gotta admit: Brodie Jenner is pretty hot. He has a nice-ish body and really good looks. But how the hell did he get his own tv show?? And the episode I just watched had him randomly taking a shower and his two current friends barge in asking him for something. Obvious ploy just to get a shot of him taking a shower and showing off his body/tattoos (cuz they used the shower shot several times later in the episode). I just thought it was the most ridiculous thing I've ever watched, yet I couldn't bring myself to change the channel. Kinda like a multi-car collision being broadcast on the news, I guess.

While watching TV, I was chatting with Matty online. He told me he was watching Juno. (GREAT movie, by the way!) He randomly quotes the movie: "At least I still have your virginity." I forget which part of the movie that is.. but then after a few minutes, he proceeds to ask me, "So who has your virginity?" Is it just me, or is that not a very personal question to ask? I kinda just laughed it off and told him it would be a story for another time. But I was thinking to myself, "Did he really just ask me that?" I'm not really making that big of a deal out of it, but I just thought I'd share and get your opinions on the matter. I guess I loss my virginity twice... first time having vaginal intercourse (yes.. ewww... get it out... lol) and then being on the receiving end of anal intercourse. And lots of drama in both cases - I just didn't want to open that door, I guess.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Well that was short lived...

Got an email at 4:30pm today...
I regret to inform you that due to changes in our staffing at the high school, we will not be hiring a part-time math teacher at this time. We highly encourage you to check Edjoin on a continuous basis in the event openings occur in the future. Thank you for your interest in XYZ Unified School District. We wish you the best of luck in securing a teaching position during these difficult economic times.
So much for teaching. HA. I guess it's better this way. I really don't know how I would've driven all the way up to XYZ 5 days a week. Major traffic on the freeways that I'd take. It would have probably taken me close to 1.5 - 2 hours to get there because of the traffic. WAY too much time in a car. I did that during my last year at UCLA and I promised myself I would never make such a long commute again!

So... I guess teaching is off the table again, for now. I had my Bank of America phone interview this morning too. It went well enough... but I think it was obvious that I had just woken up. You know how your voice is deeper and less energetic right when you wake up no matter how hard you try? Yea... I had that. And because I had just woken up, I don't really remember how well I spoke, how clear I was with my answers, or how believable my lies were... :P But I guess I'll keep everyone updated on that.


Hey, remember when I wrote that one blog about not wanting to teach yet?

HA... well, about 15 minutes ago, I submitted an application for a part time position teaching 9-12th grade Algebra at my former high school. I randomly went on the website ( that teachers go through to search for teaching positions and randomly looked at my former high school's section. And when I saw that they had a part time position, I got really excited about it. That's exactly what I wanted. Something that doesn't take up all my time, since it would only be 3 periods a day, and a perfect way to ease into teaching. And it would only be the 2nd semester, which starts February 2nd and ends June 11th. And it's the subject I want to teach and the age group I want to teach.

Sigh... the only problem is I wasn't ready for this at all. The deadline for submitting this application was TODAY. This morning, to be exact. And I didn't have everything ready to be submitted. See, we have to scan our official documents/certificates and submit them as attachments. Well, I never scanned my official transcripts from UCLA or UCI. So I only have unofficial school records to send them. I'm pretty sure that's a deal breaker with them. I did email the contact person to explain the situation, and hope they'll understand and still consider me for an interview. Who knows...

Funny thing is, the contact person is one of my childhood friend's mom. hehe. I've known her since 1st grade, when I first moved to the US and started school here. We went through elementary school, middle school, and high school together. So I Facebook-ed her, and told her that I just emailed her mom. LOL. I didn't blatantly imply that she should talk to her mom on my behalf... but I hope she got the hint!!

Well anyway, wish me luck with an interview for the position... I actually do kind of want this!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Golden Globes and 24!

The Golden Globes are tonight!
And it's the season premiere of 24! Jack Bauer! It's been 2 years!
Just wanted to share my enthusiasm. LOL.

Doctor Who

Thanks to my good friend, Barry, I've been watching episodes of Doctor Who on iTunes. Just like me before I was introduced to it, I'm sure those of you who live in the US have NO idea what Doctor Who is. And for my European and especially UK readers, you're probably really excited that I'm writing about this! ;)

Well, Doctor Who is a SciFi TV show that's been pretty long running. They've recently (in the past 4 years) revived the show. It's about an alien man, the Doctor, who time travels around the universe, helping aliens along the way when help is needed. I guess, that's a good summary of it? I dunno. I'm sure someone else can explain it a lot better than I can... let me find something online:
(From Wikipedia)
Doctor Who is a British science fiction television programme produced by the BBC. The programme depicts the adventures of a mysterious alien time-traveller known as "the Doctor" who travels in his space and time-ship, the TARDIS, which normally appears from the exterior to be a blue 1950s police box. With his companions, he explores time and space, solving problems, facing monsters and righting wrongs.
So there ya go. It's quite interesting. It has the same sort of production value as Buffy the Vampire Slayer - lots of things remind me of it: the humor, the creepiness, the mysteriousness, the suspense. If anyone wants a new show to watch, I highly recommend downloading a few episodes!


My good friend from high school, Sean, sent me a list of supporters for the Yes on Prop 8 campaign that banned gay marriage from the California Constitution. He wanted me to share this with everyone here so that we can boycott these companies. I do not want to give these companies my business if they're going to support taking away my rights.
  • C&L Restaurant Group - Largest franchisee of Burger King locations in So Cal; Richard Cross, restaurant operator, donated $4,000 to the campaign. Donation verified on LA Times.
  • T-Bird Restaurant Group - Exclusive rights to franchise Outback Steakhouse in California. CFO Mikkel Christensen donated $2,000. Donation verified on LA Times.
  • WKS Restaurant Corporation, company with franchise rights for El Pollo Loco. Roland Spongberg, President, donated $6,000 to Yes on 8. Donation verified on LA Times.
  • Yard House - Restaurant Partner ("Owner"), Executive Chef Carlito Jocson donated $100. Donation verified on LA Times.
  • Real Mex Restaurants - Steven Tanner, CFO, donated $500.00 Restaurants under their belt include all: El Torito, Chevy's and Acapulco, as well as smaller concepts Las Brisas, Casa Gallardo, Who Song & Larry's, and El Paso Cantina. Donation verified on LA Times.
  • A-1 Self Storage, with 30 locations across California. Owner Terry Caster and family members donated $693,000.
  • Apple Gilroy Inc., corporate name of Applebee's Restaurants.
  • Alan Stock, the head of the large movie chain Cinemark, which also goes by the names by Century Theatre, CineArts and Tinseltown, gave $9,999 to the 'Yes on 8' campaign.
  • A slew of other small family owned restaurants are also listed as well as Michael O'Grady, operating partner for three San Diego County locations of PF Chang's.
I'm bummed to see that El Pollo Loco was among those on this list. I recently got a $10 Gift Certificate from them because the last time I went through the drive thru (@ 10:45 pm, when the place closes at 11:00pm), they told me that they were out of chicken! WTF? How can EL POLLO LOCO be out of chicken? So I wrote them a complaint letter through email, and in a few weeks, they sent me a $10 Gift Certificate. So, I guess they're not taking my money... so I can still use the $10 Gift Certificate and I'll still feel ok for eating it. BUT, I'm going to stop spending my own money there!

EDIT: So I woke up this morning to find that there were a few "hate comments" for this post... not what I expected to wake up to. Funny thing is, I checked Google Analytics, and it shows that NOONE searched my blog today through any keywords. They were all referred by other sites, all of them being a part of our little gay blog community. So what the heck are these haters doing hanging around gay sites?? sigh...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

See... I'm NOT a Slut!

I was just on that online dating hookup site that I always go on and I was offered some "dirty sex" by this incredibly hot guy! He's blonde, and tall, and has nice muscles, and super cute. Totally my type. Well, I ask him "how dirty?" So he replies, "rough. bare. sweaty." I write back: "I like the rough and sweaty part. But I only play it safe. Sorry."

I turned down super hot guy! And I don't really feel too bad about it because I know I made the right decision! I am NOT going to have sex if it's not safe. you all should be so proud of me. :D

(and btw, if you haven't yet, please go look at the Poll on the right and read the post right below about moving my blog to WordPress...)


So Jon randomly asked me where to go to create his own blog, and of course I said, BLOGGER.COM!

But now, I'm thinking he should go to WordPress. JoietotheMax is a WordPress user and he highly recommends it. I actually went over to WordPress to sign up for a free account right now, thinking that I'll possibly start a second blog for my friends IRL... but then I started thinking about what I would write about... and there's pretty much nothing that I would want to write about in that blog, because everything that matters to me would be written in this one.

So then I started thinking... what if I exported my posts from this Blogger account over to WordPress? I know there's the capability to do that...

EDIT: The reason why I want to make the move to WordPress is because it has a lot more functionality. The blogs themselves look better and the WordPress dashboard does all the tracking that Google Analytics does. And uploading and posting pictures to the blog is much easier as well.

But my only fear is.... Would you guys still read my blog? I know there are some of you that have your links and subscriptions to this blog and some of you follow this blog through Blogger... So would it be too big of a hassle for you to change your subscriptions over to WordPress? I put this as my new Poll on the right, so go vote. And then write a comment on here to let me know how you feel about it.

I just wanted to get some opinions from you guys before I did anything drastic! I don't want to lose my readers cuz you guys give awesome advice and I really consider you my friends!

Speaking of readers, I track my readers through Google Analytics, and I have a reader from Uganda! And Germany! and Spain! and Austria! and Singapore! and South Africa! and Italy! and Norway! I would love it if these readers would "speak up" and write me a comment or two! I really would love to get to know my readers!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Response to Comments

I just wanted to write a post to say thanks for the well wishes from everyone on my last post.

But I just wanted to reply to a specific comment from exalen. I actually already posted a reply comment, but I wanted to write it as a post because I think everyone should read it to know a bit more about my situation.

Here's exalen's comment:
Dude, hate to have to be the voice of reason here, but I gotta ask you for a reality check.

The world is falling apart economically atm, and I think you need to play all the cards you got. If you're prepared to work at Starbucks and BOA then what is stopping you from actually using that teaching/econ degree you worked so hard for?

Since you're working towards your masters I assume you don't hate that industry. Maybe you don't love it as much as Disney, but I don't think you can afford to put all your eggs in one basket here.

Dieney may have been fun and I know you had some good times. But times change and life is not a static thing. You have to roll with the punches and adapt to survive.

Of course I wish you best of luck, and I'd love to be able to tel you to follow your dreams and damn the rest, but I also have to be the devil's advocate and ask you to look at the bigger picture and consider your long term future.

If you value your independance and want to maintain living by yourself then you have to look at all your options. Not just the easy/fun ones.

Well, here's my reply to exalen:
Thanks for playing devil's advocate. I need to hear it every once in a while.

I'm prepared to work for Stabucks and BOA because I know that working hours would work with Disney. My job at Disney doesn't require me to be there until after 2pm. Therefore a part time job at the other places in the morning is ideal.

I'm getting a Masters due to pressure from my family. Unfortunately, I don't have much of a passion for teaching. I used to. And then I went through the teaching credential program and lost it. Just wasn't what I thought. And then the opportunity to get a Masters was available so I took it because it was a relatively simple and quick way to get a Masters degree. And it made my family happy.

But you're so right about wanting to be independent and living alone... which is why I will be looking for a teaching job this Spring to start in Fall of 09. By that time, I will have received my Masters degree, which puts me at a higher pay scale. So I feel like it would be a little bit more worth it to start teaching at that time. Plus, I do plan to stay part time with Disney even after finding a teaching job.

But thanks again, exalen, for being a voice of reason. I really appreciate it


So I don't know whether to be more worried about being unemployed or not.

You see... I got paid two days ago. It was my paycheck for my last full week of work. Nice one too since I worked a lot of hours the last week. Then next Thursday, I'll get another paycheck that includes my last day of work and then a few sick pay hours that I cashed out. Not going to be the best paycheck, but it will still be income. After that, I'm getting another paycheck from my second job (choreographer for my former high school's show choir), so that's some more money to help me pay my bills. But then after that, I have no more paychecks...

I'm still looking for jobs. Wells Fargo hasn't replied even after two phone calls and an email. So I'm guessing that's a "no." But I did get a phone interview with Bank of America for a teller position scheduled for Monday. So wish me luck with that. This weekend, I'm going down to several Starbucks around the area to see if they're hiring, but working there would mean horribly early hours... And then I'll seek for jobs at the nearby shopping malls... Blah.

You may be asking: "Doug, you have a teaching credential. You're getting your Masters. You graduated from UCLA with an Economics degree. Why aren't you looking for better jobs?"

Well, good question... and it's a question that my family keeps asking me. But I tell them, and I tell you now, it's because I love my job at Disneyland. You seriously have no idea how much fun and how much joy it brings me. I know getting "laid off" should've been my sign to move on and get a "real" job. But I'm just not ready to go. There's still a new parade that Disneyland is developing and the auditions for it are coming at the end of this month. I'm hoping for the best with that.

And if I don't get this new parade, then only THEN will I take it as a true sign that I need to get another job.

So please just wish me luck with getting a part time job for now just to get me through the next month or two. And then wish me luck on that audition.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

"This is going to sound horrible..."

So I had the talk with Matty. To paraphrase, I told him that I'm just not ready to spend so much time together so soon and that we're just moving too fast. I told him it was my fault for not speaking up about it earlier, but I just wasn't ready for a relationship yet. He asked if he should just stop coming around. I told him that I enjoyed our time together and that we should still come over to play video games and hang out from time to time.

After the talk, we were both online but we didn't IM each other for the longest time. And then out of nowhere he IMs me and asks me what I was doing. So I tell him I'm watching TV and Facebook-ing. He tells me he's watching a movie. We have some chit chat for a bit. Then he says, "ok, this is going to sound horrible... but can we still have sex?"

LOL. I really did "LOL" him back on IM. Followed be a "hahahaha." And then a "sure." :P

HAHA, so I take it that he took "the talk" real well. ;) And now I guess I have my first friend with benefits! Never had one of those before!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Video Games

So Matty just left. But we had a nice 2.5 days.

After our dinner on the first night, we played some Nintendo Wii. We had actually started playing the Wii last night after dinner. We started with Mario Kart. It was fun, but it was starting to get a little tense with the competition... so I suggested a different game. And when he saw "Marvel Ultimate Alliance", his eyes lit up. lol. So we played that for the rest of the night. I think we must have played 5 hours before we went to bed.

The next morning, we woke up next to each other, with him playing with my hard-on. It was fun, to say the least, to get jacked off when waking up. ;) Then, we had a real low key day. We met up with two of his friends for lunch at one of my favorite sushi restaurants. I was hesitant to meet his friends, but that's cuz I'm really anti-social. But, it turned out real well. We just chatted and it wasn't awkward. They were really nice people and it was cool to hang out with them.

Afterwards, Matty and I came back to my apartment and we continued to play Marvel. We did that for the rest of the night. lol. We made cookies when we got hungry, but we didn't actually eat a real dinner. We played until 1am. And we beat the game! WOOO! LOL. It was real fun. At the very end, we decided to put in a few cheat codes just to make it a little more fun. HEHE.

We then took a shower together, and we had a little fun in there. I really do love showers. ;)

This morning, we went to ramen together. He tried a new ramen and didn't like it as much as last time. But he paid for me this time. Very sweet of him. Only thing that bothered me about today was that he kept asking me to speak Cantonese. I forgot how we got on that topic, but I told him I was born in Hong Kong. And he wanted me to speak it. But it's one of my BIGGEST pet peeves to have someone ask me to speak Cantonese. I don't know why... it just bothers me a lot. And the more someone asks me, the more I won't want to do it. And he just kept asking me and I didn't like that. I asked him to stop asking me and finally he did. But do you guys have a weird pet peeve like that? If you don't, then I guess you wouldn't understand.. but it REALLY REALLY bothers me.

So you all must be wondering... what's the verdict on Matty. Well... I think that he's looking for more than what I'm looking for. I think that we've actually moved a little too quickly for my tastes. Both times he has stayed over more than a day. It's just a lot of time to spend with someone you're just trying to get to know right now. And though he's a sweet boy and I could tell he tried to be less pessimistic about stuff (for example: he caught himself when he wanted to say "I hate my life."), but it was the fact that he had to catch himself because he WAS going to say it... it just turns me off.

And also being with his friends, I can tell that he has a lot of drama surrounding him and his friends and I try to stay away from drama as much as possible. I'm sure he's not causing the drama, but if drama follows him, then I'm not sure I want to be around that.

So I guess I'm saying that Matty would be a really good friend to have, I don't think much more will come from it. I just have to find a way to let him know how I feel about it. Any suggestions on how to have "the talk" with him?

Monday, January 5, 2009


Matty's in the kitchen cooking right now. I helped peeled the potatoes! But I'm staying out of his way cuz he wanted to cook for me. ;) He's making Garlic Mushrooms, Scalloped Potatoes, and Halva, a greek dessert.

Well I'm gonna pop my head into the kitchen to see if I can help anymore :)

Sunday, January 4, 2009

A Day Away

So only about a little more than a day before I see Matty again. I'm actually really excited to see him. We're going to be having a pretty low key time together, mostly because I don't have much money due to my financial situation. When he comes down, he's actually making dinner for me. He has a whole menu set. We're getting the stuff we need at the store when he gets here, and then he's cooking. :) I've never had someone cook for me before. It's pretty cool. hehe.

He will be spending the night since he lives so far away. The next day, we're going to have ramen again. YUM. He liked it so much last time that he wants to go again. And this time he's paying. ;) No objections to that!

So I want to thank everyone for your comments and input on my situation from my last post. He didn't seem to be phased by my text. And I'm hoping that he tries to be a little more positive when he sees me. I think I'm just being honest with him and sharing my thoughts and by him accepting that, it's actually showing maturity, which is a step in the right direction. :)


In other news, in preparation for the 5th season premiere of Lost on January 21st, I'm re-watching all of Season 4 right now. My sister bought some bootleg DVDs (people recorded the show off the TV and placed them all on DVDs to sell them) and I stole them from her tonight. So I'm going to watch them straight through. I'm on Episode 3 now. There are 13 episodes. It'll take me a little more than a day. :)

More other news, tomorrow (today... Sunday) is the last day of employment for me... I'm still trying to find a job. I'm going ot be actively looking for jobs this coming work week. I don't know where to even start, but I'll just go around filling out applications or something. I guess anything will do... but I really refuse to work fast food. I just... can't do it. Starbucks is fine.. but something like McDonald's? ... no way. Well.. wish me luck on that!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

My Thoughts on Matty

In a little bit over 2 days, Matty will be coming down to visit me. I'm happy to be able to spend some time with him soon. It'll give us time to get to know each other more. We promised each other that we'd talk and find out more about each other.

I just want him to come down already, because I still have some apprehensions about starting any type of serious relationship with him.. all based on my first date with him and the texts that we've sent each other. Maybe when we get to know each other better, these apprehensions will go away.

But there are several things that cause my apprehensions. You've already read about the bowling incident... Well, for New Year's, Matty went to a party that his friend invited him to. When I called him to say hi before the New Year, he told me all about how his friend ignored him and the rest of his friends after they got there. And also that he hates life because his friends all suck. And that he wanted to go in the hot tub but her friend told her she didn't want anyone in it because she'd have to clean it the next day, but he was going to do it anyway.

I was actually at MY New Year's party when I made the phone call. And just hearing his situation brought my mood down a bit. I was frustrated for him and wondered why his friend would be so inconsiderate. But I was also frustrated at Matty that almost everything that he's ever talked about has been a downer... He's always talking about how shitty his friends are and how poorly he is treated by the people he knows. He talks about how much he hates life and how badly his life sucks.

I know some of that stuff is out of his control, but I also feel like he likes to sulk and be pessimistic about things. That's just not the the type of person I want to have a relationship with. I know I'm not the most optimistic person you'll meet, but that's more reason why I need someone more positive in my life.

So tonight, after another text from him about hating life, I text this to him:
I hope you don't hate me for saying this but I don't like it when you tell me you hate your life. I like people who can be more positive.

Was that too harsh? He replies with some sort of explanation that I don't really understand... something about saying how things suck right now makes it easier for him to take another new step. But that he really is a positive person.

Well, I guess I'm just glad I got that off my chest. His pessimism was really starting to get to me. And hopefully by me calling him out on it, he won't be so .... whiny anymore. It's just a big turn off for me.

Does it sound like I'm trying to change him? Cuz that's not my intention. But I just wanted him to know what I like and what I dislike... Could I have handled it differently? Said something different? In any case, do you guys agree that it's sort of a turn off?

Friday, January 2, 2009

New Years Party

So my last post made it sound like I was the one all drunk at the party - but it was quite the opposite. Actually, I was one of the only ones sober the whole night. I did have some champagne but I just drank my Martinelli's Sparkling Cider the rest of the night.

But my friends on the other... wow... some of them were drunk messes. Jeez. I got to ML's house at 11:30 or so. And right when I walk in, I already hear loud screaming and see people running around like crazies. LOL. Our friend Amy kept jumping up and down with her boobs half hanging out yelling my name. "Doug ____! Doug _____!!!" HAHA.

And then one point in the night, Amy took our other friend Neil's phone and so Neil started chasing her around the house. Well, they got to a corner and Neil ran smack into Kelly's face. Kelly got a bruise on the bridge of her nose and was in the bathroom examining it while Neil is still drunk and on the floor, yelling for his phone. Ridiculous! but super funny! LOL.

Other memorable moments:
  • Sang the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air song because it was on TV, but all wrong cuz most everyone was drunk
  • Saw the Hoveround commercial on TV and decided to crank call it and pretend to order one
  • Erected a human pyramid (see figure 1)
  • Jeff saw a bottle of White Zinfandel and decided that it was trashy to bring it to a party and poured it down the sink!! (what a bitch!!)
  • Compared penis sizes (through a tape measure. lol. didn't really whip it out!)
  • Miles gave a masterclass/seminar on how to give a great blowjob. I learned a few new things! hehe.
(Figure 1)

So I definitely had a good time! And it was one of my first New Year's parties with my friends. Actually, it might actually be my first. Every other time, I was home alone or with family. So yay!

Thursday, January 1, 2009


May everyone's 2009 be amazing and full of wonderful moments!

Love you all and will update with all the drunkeness and drama from my New Year's party soon!