Saying Hi

It's really a shame that I don't post as often as I used to. I used to do it so often.. writing about the most mundane things. But I've come to realize that noone really wants to read about my boring life. But you know what? At least that means there's no drama. So I guess in that sense, it's a good thing. However, I do have two things to write about right now. Chris and Disney World.

Let's start with Chris. He's a new guy that I had met on Grindr. We kind of hit it off because we both were not looking for hookups (like so many people are on Grindr). We got to talking cuz we thought each other cute, and we eventually decided on a day and place to have lunch together. We went to California Pizza Kitchen and spent almost 2 hours just chatting. We learned about each other and it was good times. I always like a guy that's a talker, cuz that means I don't have to do too much of the talking. I mean, I did my fair share of talking. I wasn't just quiet and sitting there. But he did chat a lot and shared a lot about his life, which I like.

We continued to text each other after the lunch and decided on getting lunch again because we had talked about getting Thai for together. So he suggested that I order Thai food and have it delivered to my place so we can just hang out. I was a little hesitant to have him over at my apartment so soon, but I just felt comfortable with him. So I agreed to it. We sat in my living room, enjoying lunch, and just watching random TV. Eventually he got comfortable on the couch and we were a bit more touchy. He offered to give me a massage and I said yes. I never turn down a massage! After he was done, I returned the favor. And when I was done, I put my arm around his neck and we were just in each others arms watching TV. We gently caressed each other while we watched TV. It wasn't anything too sexual.. just sort of... nice. :) After a bit of time, it was time for him to go back to work and for me to get going since I had made plans with my friends. That night, he was on a plane to South Florida for a vacation with his mom. He's gonna be gone until June 7th. But we said we'll definitely do it again when he gets back.

The other thing is... I'm going on vacation too!! And it's also in Florida. Central Florida. Going to Disney World again!! I make a trip every year. This time, it's NOT alone! My best friend Jon is coming along. He's bringing his new boyfriend with him though.... Never met the boyfriend before.. so hope it won't be awkward hanging around them. I'm just gonna be the third wheel... great. At least they're staying in their own hotel room while he's there. And then when the boyfriend leaves, Jon will stay with me. Guess I'll just have to have a boy of my own to hang out with ... and I plan to. Jamie (yes, that Jamie..) should be spending some time with me.

I'm way excited! I always am when I'm going to Disney World. I leave June 2nd and come back June 9th. So it's only a few days away and I just can't wait!! I hope I find the time to write a report once I get back. :) And maybe there'll be more to report on Chris as well. ;)

Food Poisoning

You know what? Throwing up is a really good ab workout.

Disclaimer: Apparently, I'm too graphic in my "blow-by-blow" account ... so read at your own rise. HAHA.

Thursday night at work, I got a carne asada quesadilla from the "Roach Coach" (portable restaurants in a van). I ate it, and it tasted good going down. But as the night went on, my stomach didn't feel all so well. I got off work around 12:30am, and when I got home, I REALLY didn't feel well. I immediately went to the bathroom and threw up... a lot. It was gross... I threw up so much. And I felt a lot better throwing up. So I cleaned up and took a shower.

But as I was taking a shower, I got that horrible feeling in my stomach again, and I knew I had to throw up again. So I got out of the shower, bent over the toilet and threw up again. Again, it was a good amount of it. So by this time, I was super tired... so I climbed into bed, hoping that sleep would make it better.

Of course, it didn't. I woke up every 30 minutes or so with the feeling in my stomach and I threw up each time. And this went on until 6am, when I finally called my friend Zack (after calling Jon 10 times and he didn't pick up) asking him to take me to Urgent Care. He came and picked me up right away (he lives a block away from me) and we drove to Urgent Care, which was CLOSED. argh... So by this point, I was nauseous again and had to step out of the car to throw up again. He called his mom to see what I should do. She just said that Urgent Care or the ER wouldn't be able to help much. Perhaps just get some ginger ale or clear soda and some crackers.

So he dropped me off at home so I could throw up again and then he went to the store and picked up some stuff for me. I was hesitant to drink the clear soda because the water that I had drank a few hours ago just came right back up. But I tried it anyway because the bubbly is supposed to help. So I drank it, and it kept it down, and it actually stopped my nausea. So I actually got to get some rest. I slept on the couch from 8am to 1pm.

My roommate Kelley came home from work at 1pm. She made me a glass of Gatorade, which is supposed to help with dehydration. So I drank some of that. Jen came over a little bit later to just hang out and help out with whatever I needed. We watched some TV until about 5pm, when she left. But by that time, I got a little nauseous again. So for the last time, I threw up the Gatorade that I had drank. What was supposed to help me actually made me throw up again. BLAH.

I took a shower after that, and then went to bed because I was just super exhausted. That was around 8pm. I didn't wake up again until 4am, which is right now. I'm probably going to go back to sleep again soon. I'm definitely not going in to work. I won't work again until I'm back from Hawaii. I need the rest so that I can be back to normal for my vacation!

But yeah, this food poisoning is giving me some good abs for Hawaii. And now I'm gonna be super skinny too. ;) (I'm not really being serious here.. so don't yell at me. I'm not bulimic.)

Long Beach Gay Pride

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Watching Ellen Live!

So I went to a taping of the Ellen show in Los Angeles today. Definitely had a fun time with Miles, Jon, and N. Jon got tickets to the show by checking the Ellen Show's website EVERY day. And when they had tickets available, he pounced on that. So THANKS Jon! Then a few days ago, we used our powers of deduction to find out who the guest will be on the day of our taping. We just figured it would be whoever is listed as the guest for the next day, when it airs on TV. And the guest.... Vanessa Hudgens... sigh. The un-talented star from High School Musical. We were less than thrilled. In fact, N and Miles absolutely HATE her. They had to work with her for a filming of the Walt Disney World Christmas Day Special that aired on ABC two years ago. And she was so incredibly UNPROFESSIONAL and made the filming last way longer than it needed to be. So since then, they've hated her.

But when we got there, we were pleasantly surprised and found out that her show had been previously taped! And our taping was for a future date. Our guest: Kevin Nealon, former SNL cast member and now star of Weeds on Showtime! :) He was a funny guest. Every time he told a joke, we clapped. And my hands started hurting from clapping too much. HAHA. We also got some free stuff.... An ADVIL care package (64 tablets of Advil), Weeds Season 3 DVDs, and a pair of nice in-ear headphones. :) The headphones are REALLY nice, super comfy, and have good sound quality. I'm too lazy right now to go check what brand they are... but I'm not really trying to do a commercial for them anyway.

There were some hot, good looking guys at the filming. Not too many. But a few to look/gawk at. There was one guys with really nice muscles and a hot butt. Wanted to sit near him, but they sat me about 8 rows behind him. Bummer. And then there was this other guy with his, presumably, girlfriend with muscles for days! He was huge! And he wasn't like the chubby muscles.. he was muscle muscles! YUM! Miles was drooling over him. HAHA.

Oh speaking of muscles... Hugh Jackman was the guest for Ellen on yesterday's program. We thought we had missed seeing him by one day, but it turns out his was taped a while ago too. But anyway, I think Hugh Jackman is so hot!

I watched "Wolverine" in the theaters over the weekend and I loved him in it. You know... it wasn't the best movie ever, but I thought it was entertaining. And Ryan Reynolds was way hot in it, so that was another plus.

But anyway, Miles doesn't think Hugh Jackman is hot.... I was shocked to hear him say that! How can he not think he's hot?! What's not hot about him? Good looks. Yummy muscles. Talented actor. Great singer. HOT Aussie accent. Miles is weird sometimes. We definitely have different tastes in men.. but I guess that's good cuz then we'll never fight over guys.

In sort of other news, I had to dress up for the taping of the Ellen show today and I was quite satisfied with how I looked in my outfit. I usually think that I look weird wearing a dress shirt and slacks. I just didn't seem to fit into them even though I was wearing my size. I dunno, hard to explain, but when I look in the mirror, I just felt like I didn't fill out the clothes. Well, today, I actually liked what I saw in the mirror. It MAY have something to do with the P90X exercise program and me gaining more muscles. And that makes me feel more confident about my body. Whatever it is, I liked it and I am happy about it. :)

Extra Work

This morning, Jon and I went on a little field trip up to Burbank, CA to register ourselves for Extra work. And Extra as in television and movie extras... the background actors. We got there at the slotted 10:30am - 11:30am for registration and there was already a lot of people there. We stood in the big room while the lady made her announcements and explained the forms we had to fill out. During this time, Jon and I were NOT smart enough to notice where the registration table was and how they were on the OTHER side of the room from where we were standing. So when it came time to register, a mad rush of people went to line up in front of the registration tables and Jon and I were left to queue way behind them. The line started around 10:45am... I didn't get to leave the premises until 1:15pm. BLAH.

So we stood in line forever. There were two lines. Jon was in a different line because they separated us. Don't know why we didn't just insist on standing in the same line. So, of course, cuz this is just how my life works, I'm in the SLOW line. The lady working my line was this young girl who looks like she hadn't eaten in 5 days and moving SO slowly. Jon's line, however, had a lady who has clearly had her breakfast because she was zooming through everyone's paperwork. I think 2 or 3 people completed their registration in Jon's line for every 1 person in my line. It was ridiculous.

After paperwork came time to take our picture. Boys had the option of just taking on picture with our shirts on or taking an additional picture with our shirts off at no additional cost. Um... why NOT take the shirt off? It would mean that the casting directors have one more picture to look at you and you may be considered for scenes that involve bathing suits, swimming, whatever. And it didn't cost any extra for the extra photo! So it was a no-brainer to me! But apparently, people were too shy to do it. Yes, people can see you in the photo room taking your shirt off. But whatever! I'm used to it. I'm a big ol' slut that shows off on cam, so this was no biggie. :P Jon didn't do it. He complained about how the lighting was horrible and the white background was just going to wash him out cuz he was so pale. BLAH BLAH BLAH. What a pussy. It's not like he has a bad body either. Whatever - he'll only have himself to blame when I book more shows than him.

So yay! I'm now registered to become an extra in TV and movies!! A bunch of my friends went to register last week and just yesterday, two of them got work on the set of BROTHERS AND SISTERS (!!!!!!), dressed in bikinis for a pool scene. LOL! Ok, first off, Brothers and Sisters is one of my favorite shows on television! It's on ABC on Sunday nights at 10pm (after Desperate Housewives). Second... um... there is no second. It's just TOTALLY AWESOME that they were getting paid to be near celebrities the whole day!

So I'm excited to hopefully get a gig soon. Apparently, there have been a lot of calls for HOUSE! And CSI:NY! And some people are saying that they're starting to cast extras for the next Twilight movie too. This is some exciting stuff! And you better believe that if I book a job, I'll let you all know about it so you can look for me on TV or the big screen! ;)

New Years Party

So my last post made it sound like I was the one all drunk at the party - but it was quite the opposite. Actually, I was one of the only ones sober the whole night. I did have some champagne but I just drank my Martinelli's Sparkling Cider the rest of the night.

But my friends on the other... wow... some of them were drunk messes. Jeez. I got to ML's house at 11:30 or so. And right when I walk in, I already hear loud screaming and see people running around like crazies. LOL. Our friend Amy kept jumping up and down with her boobs half hanging out yelling my name. "Doug ____! Doug _____!!!" HAHA.

And then one point in the night, Amy took our other friend Neil's phone and so Neil started chasing her around the house. Well, they got to a corner and Neil ran smack into Kelly's face. Kelly got a bruise on the bridge of her nose and was in the bathroom examining it while Neil is still drunk and on the floor, yelling for his phone. Ridiculous! but super funny! LOL.

Other memorable moments:

• Sang the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air song because it was on TV, but all wrong cuz most everyone was drunk
• Saw the Hoveround commercial on TV and decided to crank call it and pretend to order one
• Erected a human pyramid (see figure 1)
• Jeff saw a bottle of White Zinfandel and decided that it was trashy to bring it to a party and poured it down the sink!! (what a bitch!!)
• Compared penis sizes (through a tape measure. lol. didn't really whip it out!)
• Miles gave a masterclass/seminar on how to give a great blowjob. I learned a few new things! hehe.

(Figure 1)

So I definitely had a good time! And it was one of my first New Year's parties with my friends. Actually, it might actually be my first. Every other time, I was home alone or with family. So yay!

WeHo w/ the Boys

So here's my more detailed post about my night in West Hollywood with the boys.

The night started out at my apartment. Miles and I got ready at my place because we had work during the day. So we showered and got dressed. Jon came over as well to make dirty martinis for Miles and himself... to sort of get the night started. I was the designated driver, so I didn't have a glass... or did I?


HAHA, don't worry.. that's not a real martini. I just poured some Simply Lemonade (the best brand of lemonade there is!!) and just pretended. It made for a cool photo tho, right? :)

By 9:15, the rest of the boys, Reggie and Kevin, arrived as well and we were ready to head out! (Reggie and Kevin are Miles' good friends. It was cool to hang out and get to know them better) It took me about 45 minutes to get there. We looked for some street parking, but that was a futile attempt. So we just decided to fork over the cash and pay for parking in a lot.

We walked over to The Factory where the Instinct party was held, but if you read the previous post then you know that the party had already ended when we got there. LAME SAUCE. We were already there, and we weren't going to just leave, so of course we decided to go bar hopping. We decided on Fiesta Cantina to start, mostly because of their 2 for 1 Drink Special. I got two Midori Sours. Yummy.

Unfortunately, I couldn't even finish one of them before I started feeling woozy. My heart started to pound real hard too. And then I just got REAL sleepy all of a sudden. My eyes would shut without me even knowing and then a few seconds later, I would realize that I was falling asleep and have to wake myself up. The bar stool that I was sitting on was right up against the wall, so I just leaned back into the wall and I definitely fell asleep a couple of times. Kevin tried showing me a picture he took on his phone but I was totally asleep. Miles had to yell at me to wake up! LOL. After him yelling at me, I felt more awake and made a conscious effort to keep my eyes open. And from then on, I was much better. But it was definitely my cue to NOT drink anymore. So Jon drank the rest of my drinks.

And let me say that Fiesta Cantina had quite a few cute boys! Some of them were just my type: cute white boys, blonde, athletic to muscular build. MMMM. YUMMY. Of course, none of those type of guys would EVER give me a second look. But they were nice to gawk at, nonetheless :)

Then, Miles' friend from Instinct (Robert) showed up with his boyfriend (Jarrod). It was Robert's birthday so we wished him a very Happy Birthday. It was my first time meeting Robert, and he's SUCH a nice guy! And I have to say he's a REAL cutie too. :) They stayed for a while with us in Fiesta Cantina, but then we all decided to go ahead to Eleven to do a little dancing. :)

When we got to Eleven, we saw that there was a long line to get in, so we said "screw that" and walked into East West instead. Not crowded at all. In fact, I probably prefer East West because it's very relaxed. There were couches everywhere and we grabbed one and sat down.

While in a very relaxed setting, there were quite a few weirdos there as well. First of all, there was an older guy who had a nice body that was clearly drunk. When we first got there, we just see him throw this guy onto the couch and then start humping him right then and there. After about 20 seconds of that, he got off him and apologized for doing it. Apparently, they didn't know each other. HAHA. And then he proceeded to take off his shirt in front of the window so that people walking on the streets would yell and holler at him. HAHA.. crazy guy.

Also, there were two older lesbian ladies who were clearly drunk. One of them was much drunker than the other and started to dance with any gay guy she had in sight. Unfortunately, Robert fell victim to her, and being a super nice guy, just went along with it. It looked like he had fun though :)


There's the drunk lesbian on the left and Robert falling over laughing at her. It looks like she's calling him over to dance some more. Also, if you click the pic to enlarge it, you'll notice the gays in the back just cracking up at the lesbian. LOL.

I really had a great time there. And it was just fun to be out with a bunch of boys. And tho it would've been nice to have met a boy while I was out there too (hehehe), I really wasn't expecting that and I was just happy to be having fun with friends.

Top to Bottom, Left to Right: Jarrod, Robert, Miles, Jon, Kevin, Me, Reggie

I'm really not a bar hopping, club dancing, drinking at parties kind of guy. But I enjoy myself when I do go out and do that stuff. I'm actually proud of myself for being able to have some fun outside my apartment. LOL. I do wish I went out to have fun more often. I really am wasting my time when I just sit at home and watch TV alone. I could be out having fun with friends, meeting new people. It really MUST be one of my New Year's Resolutions... if not THE most important one of them all. I need to stop being a lazy ass and get myself out there. I'm 24 years old and I need to start living life before it's too late.

Being a Good Friend

I just got off the phone with Jon. He called me at 1:40am after his date tonight. We talked for a good 20 minutes, him telling me how the date went and everything that happened. I won't get into any details about his date and his situation, cuz it's none of my business to tell. But I do want to share how nice it feels that Jon thinks of me as a good enough friend to call me literally RIGHT after his date to tell me all about it.

Throughout my life, I feel like I've had many really good friends. I belonged to a circle of friends. But I never really opened up to them. And though I had one or two friends who I called my best friends, I feel like I never actually was a very good best friend to them. I mean, how could I really have called them my best friend if I never let them know who I truly was?

But now, I really think I can call Jon one of my best friends. After all, he was the very first friend that I came out to. And since then, we've been able to share a lot of things with each other. I've opened up to him about so many things and it's great to have someone that really knows me.. instead of the "fake" me that everyone else sees.

I'm happy to be there for Jon and I hope that he thinks of me as one of his good/great/best friends as well.

Date Guy Matt

Ok, so more about Date Guy Matt. Logged on to the dating site and got a message from him.

hey, im sorry. things got busy for me here - family ended up coming over since we didnt ALL get together for the holiday. lets try and reschedule tho. it wasnt intentional

I asked about his phone and his AIM and he said his phone has been acting up and his AIM logs on automatically on his computer that he doesn't use. Sounds like excuses... but I guess I'm too nice and gave him another chance. So I started emailing back and forth again.

Well, today, my buddy Jon calls me up and tells me to get on Facebook to look something up. APPARENTLY, Matt and I have met before. Jon knew he had looked familiar to him. And I thought he looked familiar too. Matt is actually the ex of one of my good friends from work. My friend is in Paris right now for work, but he's back in January. Sigh... how complicated can this be?

Lots of questions:

• Do I forgive him for standing me up?
• Are those excuses good enough?
• Should I continue to talk with him?
• How does he being my friend's ex affect things?
• How did he and my friend break up?
  
• Did they even truly break up or was it because he was in a different country?
• Is this way too many questions to waste on one guy?

How ridiculous....

What Happens In Vegas....

.... doesn't stay in Vegas when who is involved has a blog to write! It's already Wednesday morning and I feel bad that I haven't written earlier. But better late than never right? So many things happened in Vegas, but maybe I can kill two birds with one stone. Everyone has been doing their "10 Things" list on their blogs, so I might as well do that same, but use it to write about Vegas! (WARNING: this is a SUPER long post! lol)

So just a little background, I went with a group of my friends to Vegas. There were 4 of us the first night (Eric, Jon, Kelly, and me) and then 6 of us the second night (ML and Miles drove up themselves). Then we all left to go back home together on Sunday afternoon.

So here are my 10+ Things That Happened in Vegas (And since I've been so late posting this, I'm going to make it up by making a picture blog):

1. The first thing that we did after we checked into our hotel at the MGM Grand Casino and Hotel was go downstairs to its little shopping area and get drinks at Fat Tuesday. For those who don't know what Fat Tuesday is, it's a little store that sells blended alcoholic drinks in mugs, glasses, and jugs. And they have many flavors - most of them VERY good. We got there and had jello shots right away. Of course, it had to be cherry flavor jello... BLECH. If it was any other flavor, I would like it more. I just hate cherry. It always tastes like medicine to me.

Our hotel: The MGM Grand! (That's Kelly in the reflection)

2. The Planet Hollywood Hotel and Casino was THE hangout for our group this trip. After our shots at the Fat Tuesday in MGM, we walked over to the Fat Tuesday at Planet Hollywood and got drinks there. Another friend from work, Chris, was in Vegas with his friends at the same time we were, and it just so happened that they were at that Fat Tuesday too! While we were in line to get drinks, I felt someone put their hands on my shoulder and I thought, "Who the hell is touching me?!" And I turned around, and it was Chris! He was already pretty drunk. Apparently, they had been sitting in front of the Fat Tuesday for a while. After we got our drinks (I got a Bellini, which is basically Peach Schnapps and Champagne), we all sat down together and chatted for a good 30 minutes to an hour. Just hanging out and getting drunk! I kept taking sips of the drink because I knew I needed to take it slow or else I'd get sick. But the drink tasted soooo good that I drank a LOT of it in a short period of time. So, that meant that my face got REAL red and hot, and I got kind of loud. My friends thought it was funny. :)

(left to right)
Me, Kelly, Chris, Jon, and Eric

3. After we said goodbye to Chris and his friends, we went to the lounge inside the MGM Grand Casino: Tabu. We got in free because Jon knows someone in the Cirque du Soleil show @ the MGM, KA, and he got us into the lounge. It was a nice place. Pretty small, since it really is just a lounge and not a club. But people were dancing, and so we danced. Unfortunately, there wasn't much to look at around us. The crowd was definitely an older crowd, filled with guys that can't dance and girls that think that just being slutty means dancing. So, after about 10-15 minutes of this place, we decided to leave. I guess it wasn't that bad, considering it was free to get in. Just wish it was a little better. And afterwards, we decided to head back to the hotel room, where my friends called it a night.


4. And while Kelly and Eric decided to stay in, Jon and I went downstairs because I wanted to try my hand at roulette. So here was my plan. I'd play 3 rounds MAXIMUM. 1st round: I bet $10 on RED. If I lose, I go back upstairs. If I win, I play again. 2nd round: I bet all $20 on RED. Again, if I lose, I go back upstairs. But if I win, I move on to the next round. 3rd round: I bet $20 on RED again, and pocketing $20. If I lose, then I still have $20. But if I win, I have $60, and will have been $50 richer. And why just RED? Because Red is the color of fortune in China (along with blood and Communism... but that's besides the point). So I get to an empty roulette and exchange chips for the $10. Right as I do that, 3 older guys come to the table and exchange for chips too, but they each put down $100... How embarrassing... Anyway, I bet RED. First spin: Red 19! NICE. So then I put all $20 on RED again. Second spin: Black something. Don't remember the number, because I lost. So, unfortunately, my plan didn't work out very well. Upon further analysis of my betting, in Round 2, I should've pocketed $10, and bet the other $10 on RED. This will have given me at least let me break even. Oh well... you live and learn. You win some, you lose some. (Insert some other idiom here)

5. I did not spend money on meals on this trip to Vegas. Normally, I have to eat at least ONE buffet. Eric and I had talked about getting the awesome Seafood Buffet at the RIO... but we just never did it because Jon and Kelly couldn't afford it. And we didn't win any money in the casinos to justify spending that. So basically, we ate fast food the entire weekend. After the first night, the first thing we did was go to the food court and eat Panda Express (which is a national chain that serves Americanized Chinese food. Still good tho!). I would've loved to have had a buffet, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be this time around. Maybe next time.

6. Two more stops at Fat Tuesday later (still drinking the Bellini), we stopped by the Caesar's Palace Forum Shops to do some window shopping. We walked around FAO Schwarz and played with some of the toys there. If you've ever seen BIG, the movie from the 80s with Tom Hanks, then you will know that they have a giant piano keyboard that you play with you feet. Jon was talented enough to play Chopsticks for us. It was quite impressive. Then Jon and I went in the Apple Store, where apparently, I got really touchy with the Mac computers. I picked them up and rubbed them against my face and confessed my love for the new MacBook and MacBook Pro. My friends were convinced that I was wasted... but they don't realize that I do this every time I walk into an Apple Store. lol. We also stopped by other high-end, luxury brand stores such as Armani and Coach. In the following picture, you will see me in the Coach store, bright red in the face and completely drunk.

I'm holding a Coach purse for some reason, and Kelly is there to make fun of me

7. After we are through with the Forum Shops, we walked over to T.I. (or Treasure Island) to meet up with Chris and his buddies. We get there and knock on their suite door. We can already hear that there was a party going on. When he opens the door, we are hit with an unbearably humid room. They had crammed 20 people into the suite so that they could party and get drunk. And this suite was not big. It was only called a suite because it had double doors and two bathrooms. Other than that, it seemed actually smaller than our room at the MGM Grand. Chris greeted us loudly - could definitely tell he was drunk. And then he introduced us to all of his friends. One in particular, Jon was very fond of. Tall white guy, with dark features and an awesome body. He was actually shirtless and wearing board shorts when we walked in because they had come from the pool not too long ago. And in those board shorts, we could all see something quite big in there! So I'm really pissed off about what I'm about to write about.

I get a phone call from Miles because Miles and ML had been on the road for over 3 hours trying to avoid traffic from the California wildfires. They had to take a long detour that they were unfamiliar with and they needed my iPhone to tell them where they were. Because the room was so loud, I had to step outside to talk to them. About 5 minutes later, I walk back into the room, where INSTANTLY Jon comes at me, jumping for joy. While I was away, Board Shorts Boy had gone into the bathroom to change out of his board shorts. Jon was standing right outside the bathroom. But Board Shorts Boy didn't close the door and he just dropped his shorts. Jon was in the perfect spot to see all of this. And Board Shorts Boy didn't mind... probably too drunk to care. But Jon saw him in all his glory. And apparently he was BIG. sigh... I'm pissed off because I totally missed it. And it's all Miles fault for calling me at the worst possible time!! So mad! I wanted to see penis too! Oh well, ... it was for the better because for the rest of the trip, Jon was just completely obsessed with Board Short Boy and I probably would've been too if I was there to witness the dropping of the shorts.

(left to right) Board Shorts Boy (with clothes) and Jon
Jon secretly wished that Board Shorts Boy was gay

8. Miles and ML finally arrive in Vegas after 7 hours and 42 minutes of driving (when it should've only taken them ~4 hours in normal traffic time). But their determination to have a good time with us in Vegas got them through it and they made it just in time to go out on the town! ML was the driver and I have no idea how she found the energy to go out after driving for that long, but I guess she was just THAT excited to have fun! And we were excited to have them with us as well!

(left to right; top) Kelly, Jon, ML, Eric
(bottom) Me, Miles
About to go out on the town!

9. To start our night, we went to Planet Hollywood (of course) to get more booze at Fat Tuesday. Got myself another Bellini and we all did one jello shot together to celebrate all of us being their together. It was cherry flavored AGAIN. WHY do they do that? I just swallowed it. Gross, but did its job. Pretty soon, I was drunk again, and I started to talk loudly. So instead of going to a club right away, we decide to play some slots in the casino at Planet Hollywood. I was all for it because my FAVORITE slot machines was there: Monopoly Money Grab!! It's this amazing high tech slot machine where it is touch screen and very interactive! The best part is when you get 3 "Chance" Bonus cards in a row and you get to play this Bonus where the characters of Monopoly jump up on the screen and grab money. And whatever money amount they grab is the amount of credits I win. This was a penny slot machine, so each credit is only work 1 cent. But, I ended up winning over 2700 credits on the bonus game, giving me $36 to cash out! I had only put in $5 to start! And when I went over to my friends to tell them that, I told them "I won 5 times the amount that I put in!!" And at first, they were so happy, but then Jon had this puzzled look on his face and he said... "Don't you mean 7 times the amount?" And then I thought about it, and agreed with him. And THAT'S when you know I'm drunk... when a Math teacher couldn't do simple multiplication... LOL

Here I am with the Monopoly Money Grab, my FAVORITE slots game EVER!

10. Upon exiting the Planet Hollywood to make our way over to the Paris Hotel and Casino, we come across this water feature on the side of the Planet Hollywood. It has a stead stream of water flowing down a wall lit up with many small white LED lights. Kelly and ML had taken pictures in front of this before in a previous trip to Vegas, so they suggested we all take a picture in front of it as well. When the picture is taken, it creates a cool silhouette of all of us. And I'm SOO glad we took the pictures because it turned out AMAZING. We didn't ask anyone to take a picture of all of us, so Kelly and I took turns taking the picture. And then I came home and photoshop-ed the two pictures together so that we'd all be in it. So here's the final outcome. It's my absolute FAVORITE picture ever and has become my default picture in all my profiles online. (well, except this one)...

(Left to right) Eric, Miles, Kelly, Me, ML, and Jon
I look like I'm taking a crap... but I still think we look... what's the word?.. FIERCE! lol

11. We arrive at the Paris Casino and proceed to their club, Risque, to try and get in because all we wanted to was have fun and dance! When we get there, they tell us immediately that we were welcome to just go up to the club with no charge since it was already later in the night. We jump on the opportunity and head up to the club. Risque is smaller, but still had a nice size dance floor. The club was set up nicely with the bar area in the front of the club and the dance floor in the back, slightly elevated. Good lighting and the music was already great as we walked in. A good dance beat, you know? So the 6 of us are dancing with each other and just having a great time. Then ML leans in to all of us and says, "Um... do you guys notice that we're the only non-Indian people here?" HAHA! I look around, and all I see are middle eastern people dancing and having a great time. And then we all notice at the same time that we've been dancing to Indian/Bollywood music and that everyone in the club knew the words to it and was singing along! LOL. We thought we had crashed some private party of something, but noone was kicking us out or minding that we were there. So we just continued to dance and have a great time. We just had a great laugh about it and it's one of those things that we won't forget about our trip.

If you can't tell... I'm pretty drunk. But NO, I'm not THAT red. It was just the light on me at that moment.
And that's ML, with her amazing body, dancing with me. SO fun, even though I kinda look like an idiot

12. During my time in Vegas, I drunk text-ed Davie (who I came out to before, described in this post). It was amazing, and I'll just let you read the actual texts:

Me: Davie! I heard that you are well endowed! Jon saw it in the bathroom and got turned on. DAVIE!! I want to see it! Will you show me when I get home?

Davie: LOL! Omg, u drunk asses! And Jon... ur gross! He did not! I never change in front of anyone!

Me: He saw you thru the cracks of the stalls when you're changing.

Davie: Lol. What a lie!

Me: Davie I want to see your dick, ok? And he's serious. He saw you.

Davie: I don't believe him! Was he talking crap? :-(

Me: No. he just said you are real hung. He peeked through the stalls from the outside. He didn't know it was you until you walked out.

Davie: LOL. Too much. You bitches

Me: Davie! I love you!

Davie: Love you, too. Be safe and have fun.


13. So second night, the 6 of us shared a room that only had two queen beds. Right when we got back to the hotel, Eric basically collapsed on the round. So it was decided that Eric would be one of two sleeping on the floor. We gave him blankets and a pillow and he stayed in that position for the rest of the night. Miles volunteered to be the other one sleeping on the floor. I slept in a bed with Kelly and Jon slept in the other with ML. Secretly, I wanted to be in the same bed with Jon so that I could cuddle at night with him. But we were already in this arrangement from the night before (Kelly requested to sleep in the bed with me instead of Jon because she was afraid that he'd be too drunk and kick her out of bed. lol). I just wanted some cuddling because I've been sleeping in a bed by myself for so long. But I guess it wasn't meant to be. And then in the morning, Miles jumped up onto our bed when Kelly went to use the bathroom for a bit. So the three of us slept in the same bed together. It was the closet to cuddling that I got. ;)

Me and Miles take a pic as we wake up in the morning

So that's my Vegas weekend! As you can see, I had so much fun with my friends. I'm so glad that I decided to blow off my second job at the high school and go to Vegas. It was basically my FIRST time getting drunk to the point where I'm not sick and throwing up and just letting loose and having a great time. I feel like I now know my limit and I shouldn't worry about getting sick when drinking alcohol. And now I know what drinks I should order too. Drink of choice: MIDORI SOUR! yum! Doesn't taste like alcohol at all. In fact, it tastes like a Green Apple Jolly Rancher. Drank a few of those during my Vegas trip too. ;)

Alright, well this post has been long enough. Wonder if you all spent the time to read all of it. :P

Vegas, Baby!

In less than 36 hours, I'll be driving up to Las Vegas with my friends in my awesome black, gas efficient, sexy Prius! LOL. I just wanted to rub it in that I have a Prius that costs me less than $20 to fill up my tank, which I do every 1.5 - 2 weeks. HEHE.

But yeah... Vegas, Baby! Me and 7 of my friends (including Jon, Miles, and Kelly) will be sharing a teeny tiny room at the MGM Grand.. but who cares right? We won't really be in our room that often any way! And I'm just excited to be going out with friends. We might be going to some clubs, not sure. I think we're just winging it the entire weekend. Nothing really planned. Don't think we're seeing any shows cuz we're all broke. So just doing whatever we want to do. And just getting drunk! LOL. And, as you all know now, it's not that hard to get me drunk!

I'm also thinking of telling everyone that's gonna be on the trip with me that I'm gay. Hopefully it just comes up somehow... like some miraculous segue will happen and it'll just come out. But if not, I'll fit it into some conversation somehow...

Friend: Hey, so what time is check-in for the hotel?
Me: I think right around the time that I'm gay.

Something like that? I don't know.... lol.

In other news, I wanna wish AJ a speedy recovery. What happened with him should NEVER have happened. What year do we live in people!? Why do people still have so much hatred. It's so ridiculous. And I really want him to recover sooner because I know he was looking forward to having some "fun" with his bf. :P But now, with broken ribs, it's gona be hard for him to do that for a while. Poor guy... GET WELL SOON AJ!

My (Gay) Day Off

Wow I think I might have had one of the gayest days of my life today.

I started the day wanting to get a Mystic Tan (those fake spray tans). This is in preparation for Halloween because I don't want to have a farmers tans on my arms or, worse, white legs! So I exfoliated and moisturized my body to get ready for the tanning. Then I called up the tanning place and asked about the whole process and she let me know that the tans last up to 3-5 days.. hm. Well, my parties aren't until Friday and Saturday, so it would be too early to get it today. So then I decided against going. But STILL, I exfoliated! and moisturized!

And then I went and ran some errands with Jon. We went to the new Target store that they built down the street from where we live. I went in and could NOT remember what I needed to buy. I walked out with deodorant and tweezers. Yes, TWEEZERS. lol. Oh, it gets gayer.

We then drove down to Best Buy because I've been wanting this DVD for a while now: Celine Dion, A New Day (her show in Vegas). Sigh. Yes, I'm a big closet Celine fan. She's amazing, and you all know it. Bought the DVD for $16.99, and then Jon and I decided that we wanted to continue our gay day and watch a movie in the theaters. What movie, you ask? Going along with the theme of the day, you MAY have guessed it already... Yes, folks... High School Musical 3: Senior Year!



It actually was REALLY enjoyable. I'm a little bias because I work for Disneyland and everything. But, I liked it a lot. Really entertaining and the dancing was real good. Can't wait until it comes out on DVD!

After the movie, I drove back to my apartment, invited Miles over, and we watched the Celine DVD. Amazing singing. Amazing choreography. Amazing stage. Amazing everything. Celine Dion is .... I can't believe I'm using this word ... FIERCE! But the perfect word to sum up my incredibly gay day. And I loved every minute of it. :)

My Birthday

Disclaimer: Some parts of this blog post are sexually explicit ;)

First, thanks to those who wished me a happy birthday ;)

So on this Friday, I stay up chatting with Barry on Yahoo Messenger until 6am. We find out that we have a lot of the same tastes in music. We start swapping some MP3s, and I find out that you can give songs as gifts on iTunes! Barry sends me two songs through iTunes as a birthday present and I am so thankful. He's so cute for sending me something for my birthday. And I thank him from the bottom of my heart for spending money on me.

After the chat and sleep, I wake up at 12 noon and start my day off with some lounging on the couch. I open up my laptop and go through my routine of checking MySpace, Facebook, and the blogs. Then I open up an internet gay dating hookup site and browse through the profiles. I find a guy that more or less fits my "type": young, athletic, white boy with blonde hair and a good smile. So I send him a message to say hi. Not too much later, I receive a message back asking how I was doing and if I go to 24 Hour Fitness. So through a few rounds of messages back and forth, I tell him that yes, I have a membership, and sure I'll meet him there. I don't usually do this. And by "this", I mean I don't usually agree to random hookups. But I figure, hey, it's my birthday. I should do something fun!

I drive out to the gym and I enter the locker room. Immediately, I see 4 or 5 really hot, half naked guys getting dressed/undressed. Of course I also see 4 or 5 not so attractive guys as well, but I ignore them and focus (without being obvious, of course) on the hot ones. I get undressed as well, feeling completely inadequate compared to all the hotties, which just motivates me to go to the gym more often now, and put on my swim trunks and go out to the pool. I spot him doing some laps in the pool so I take the lane next to him and also do some laps. Swimming is good for my scoliosis, and I have lots of fun swimming - I don't know why I don't do it more often. Back to Swimming Hottie...., we do some continuous laps and we find ourselves taking breaks at the same time right next to each other. We take some glances at each other and make eye contact a few times. He then gets out of the pool and walks over to get into the jacuzzi. I follow suit after doing a few more laps. More glances and awkward eye contact. Other people enter and exit the jacuzzi. We finally give each other the signal to get the heck out of there. So I go back in the locker room and see more hotties down the locker aisles. One of them is checking himself out in the mirror. I would too if I had a body like that! Yum. I get dressed and see Swimming Hottie walking out, so I follow.

I follow him down to a quiet place outside and he tells me that he lives just down the street but his roommates are home. Darn. So I ask if he wants to exchange numbers, so we do. And I head back to my car, trying to decide what else to do for the rest of my birthday. As I put my gym bag in the trunk of my Prius, I get a text from Swimming Hottie: "Wanna fool around in your car?" I respond, "Sure." So I pick him up and we drive across the street to a parking structure and drive up to the top floor. I park, leave the car on of course, and we go about having some fun. He reaches over and starts to take off my shorts. I do the same and he's already hard as a rock. He leans over and we make out with each other for a while. It's still a weird sensation to feel stubble when I kiss but I think I quite enjoy that. And then he leans over and starts giving me a blowjob. He comes back up after about a minute or two and I reach over and play with him. I'm about to lean over to reciprocate, but he tells me to stop jerking him, and then 2 seconds later, he starts cumming. If it wasn't clear before, we had only parked maybe 4 minutes prior to this. Sigh... I'm still pretty hard so I just start jerking myself off. After he finishes and cleans up, he reaches over to finish me off. I just try to cum as quick as possible because it's just awkward now and I kind of want to laugh out loud at him for cumming so quickly. I drive him back to the gym because he rode his bike and I drop him off. Not so sure I'll meet up with him again... but I guess it was still fun to do something that I don't usually do. Plus it gave my confidence and ego a much needed boost.

And since I drove out to Costa Mesa, I decide to head out to the Apple Store there to check out the newly updated MacBooks and MacBook Pros. I find them to be incredibly sleek and sexy! I think I might have cum a second time as I play with these incredible machines. Hehe. But unfortunately, I can't afford to even pay for a nice dinner, so I'm going to just have to be satisfied with my current, outdated MacBook for the time being.

I also visit the Sports Chalet next door to buy accessories for my Halloween costume! After a few days of thinking of concepts and designing and searching on the internet (and some inspiration from Ja over at Gym Ra(n)t), I finally decide that this year, I'm going to be a P.E. Teacher! Of course, a sexy, pervy, hot P.E. Teacher. ;) So basically, I buy wrist bands, a headband, and whistle. I already have long tube socks and some sneakers. And I'm getting a pair of hot short shorts from InternationalJock.com - and this is what they look like:

If only I looked like that!!

I'm just deciding on what to wear for a top. Something tight and sexy. Maybe a sleeveless T. But should I print some sort of logo or anything on it? Will I need to in order to convey the P.E. Teacher look? Or will everything else be good enough? I'm going to carry around a clipboard for pictures, but I'm ditching that when the party begins. But I'm REALLY excited about going to my two planned Halloween parties this year! I just need to make sure to head out to the beach to tan my legs if I'm going to wear those short shorts! That, or get some bronzer!

The rest of the day, I hang out with the ex-girlfriend. And then I have a nice dinner with close friends at Chili's. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I'm an ultra-lightweight when it comes to alcohol, but I decide that my birthday is an appropriate to get a drink. So I leave it up to my friends to choose a drink for me. The only rule is that they have to pick a drink where they don't think I can taste the alcohol, because if I taste it, it's guaranteed to come back up. So they order the Reggae Sunsplash. I don't even know what's in it, but I drink it and it tastes good. So I drink some more. But within a minute, my face turns bright red. And the next few minutes, my friends take pictures of my incredibly flushed face.

I get home after the dinner and decide that since I'm still dressed up nicely from my dinner that this is as good a time as any to take some pictures of myself. I snap about 10-15 pictures, keep about 8, and am now posting one for y'all.


I quickly upload this photo to the internet dating hookup site and start browsing again. I find another boy fitting my type and proceed to message him as well. To my surprise, I get a response. 2 out of 2 for the day. He asks me how I was doing, so I tell him I was doing pretty well and that I just had dinner with my friends for my birthday. He then wishes me a happy birthday and tells me that he thinks that every guy should get a blowjob on his birthday. Hmmm... again, not something that I would do normally, but since it is still my birthday for another hour, I play along. After a few more messages back and forth, I agree to having some fun with him. Then he tells me, "Well, it's pretty late tonight and I have to work tomorrow." Failure... Or so I thought. After the "pressure" of meeting up was gone, we continue to send each other messages back and forth. We swap pictures of ourselves, G-rated and some body shots. We then schedule a time where we can meet up, which will be this Wednesday night. And we swap phone numbers so we can text each other. By this time, it's about 3:00am, so the "I have to work tomorrow" thing was just a lie, but I'm glad he did because I probably would have felt REALLY uncomfortable meeting him without getting to know him more. Swimming Hottie was different because I met him at a public place, but this guy I would be meeting him either at his place or my place. Anyway, I get a text from him at 3:30am asking me for a picture of my cock hard. I think, what the heck, why not? So I take a quick one on my iPhone and send it to him (and I make sure to delete it right away because I know my friends/family like to play with my iPhone... so Miles and Jon - you won't find anything naughty on my iPhone! LOL). He texts me back a few times to tell me that I'm cute and hott (definite ego-booster) and then he asks if I can take a picture of me cumming. So I tell him I can do one better and I give him my xtube channel. (Not going to publicize my channel here tho) He says he really enjoyed it and that he is really looking forward to having some fun with me on Wednesday. I must say that I'm looking forward to it too! And then all of a sudden, it's 4:30am and I decide to call it a night and end my birthday celebration because I'm dead tired.

But all in all, for an unplanned birthday, I had a pretty exciting day, wouldn't you say? A sort of low key, yet adventurous and fun birthday. Looking forward to seeing what's in stored for me this year!

Shirtless

This morning, I wake up at 10:42am, but I don't make my way off of my bed until 11:02am. As I take my Brita filter out of the refrigerator to pour myself a glass of cold water, this annoying loud noise goes blaring in my apartment. I jump because 1) I hate loud noises and 2) It freakin scared me to death! After about two seconds, I finally realize that it's the fire alarm. ARGH. I'm in my boxers and a sleeveless shirt and decide that I cannot walk outside in that. I don't care if there's a real fire and I'm about to be burned alive, I can't be seen like that. So I grab my "NERD" shirt and put on a pair of blue Abercrombie shorts, take my iPhone off the charger and put it in my pocket, grab my wallet, grab my keys, put on my sandals, and finally make my way out the door. I make my way down the emergency exit stairs and walk outside to find myself behind some guy in his wifebeater and nasty ass shorts and I think to myself, "THAT is why I changed my clothes."

Anyway, it was a false alarm and I got to go back to my apartment right away. I guess it was a nice little adventure to wake me up.

Today, I made plans with my graduate school buddies to have some lunch at the University. As we sit down to eat our sandwiches (Le Diplomate sandwiches - SOO yummy! Joshua, you HAVE to go get one!), my friend, Oh-Girl, points out this guy walking towards us with his shirt off and over his shoulders.

Oh-Girl: Look at that guy with his shirt off. What makes him think that that's ok?

Me: Haha, I know right? Jeez!
(In my head: Wow, HOTNESS!)

Oh-Girl: Just put the stupid shirt back on.

Me: Yeah, I know... It's not even that hot right now.
(In my head: Oooo, look at those muscles!)

Oh-Girl: He's just walking around shirtless so that people will look at him.

Me: Yeah, that's ridiculous.
(In my head: Where the heck is my iPhone? I need a picture of this.)

Well, unfortunately, I didn't take my iPhone out to get a picture, but this guy looked very much like him:


Yeah, the guy had a HOT bod and was good looking too. He just walked into the courtyard, stopped to talk to his friend, and then walked off. I don't think he even came from the direction of the gym... so I think he really was just walking around with his shirt off because he CAN and knows that he looks good.

That just made me feel really bad about myself. There I was, sitting in the courtyard, eating a sandwich drenched in creamy garlic sauce and sipping a thick and creamy smoothie. And there's Shirtless Hottie showing off his 1% body fat. Damn I need to hit the gym more often.

So as I drive home, I start a text conversation with JW -

Me: Have you been to the gym lately? I feel fat. Let's go tonight.

JW: I'm gonna pass. Tired and I have school in the morning

Me: U suck. U never go.

And it looks like I never go either because I'm still sitting on my couch at home, watching McCain waddle around the town hall floor, and contemplating eating chocolate chip ice cream.

Night Out With the Boys

So Friday night, I went to West Hollywood and hit up three bars with JW and Milo.

Before writing this post, I thought about lying and telling all of you about how I love going to bars and clubs; but the truth is, I had never even been to a straight bar/club before, let alone a gay bar/club. Let's be honest, I'm as nerdy as it gets... why else would this be my favorite shirt?


And nerds just don't go out to clubs often. But Friday night, being bored with nothing to do, Milo suggests we go to West Hollywood (WeHo) to have some fun. After all, it's only 10pm and still early in the night. So I go home and pick out a comfy, slightly tight fitting, long-sleeve hoodie shirt and my tightest pair of jeans, spray on a pint of cologne and then head over to JW's to pick him and Milo up.

This is about the most spontaneous thing I've ever done. I never do anything without a plan. Part of my OCD, I guess. So as I drive on the I-5 Freeway, I start to get a little nervous about it. But I know that I'm with friends so I quickly let that nervousness go. We get there at about midnight, and Milo gets into tour guide mode and points out all the hot spots in WeHo as we drive by. We drive around the side streets for a while and then get super lucky and happen to drive by as a car is pulling out of a parking spot. SCORE! Our night can now begin!

We arrive at The Abbey and we only wait about 5 minutes before we get in. As I walk in, I catch the eyes of a cute guy. We keep eye contact for a good 3-5 seconds, I would say, and he looks like he's interested in me, but JW and Milo walk ahead of me and I don't want to lose them, so I just keep walking. Milo shows me around the many rooms at The Abbey and then we get a drink and just hang out. So many hot guys just walking around! I don't know what to do with myself! However, besides the cute guy from when I walked in, I find myself avoiding eye contact. I have no self-confidence. It's always been a problem with me I guess. But I have horrible self-esteem and I just cannot see any of the hot guys there wanting to have anything to do with me. Amidst my self-loathing, Milo manages to snap a shot of all of us having a good time.

(left to right) Milo, JW, me

We leave The Abbey and proceed to East West. We walk in and find it pretty empty. We go to the back room where we find some couches and we sit down and chat for a bit. I didn't have much to drink (ok, fine I didn't have any to drink yet.. I was the DD) but Milo and JW had dirty martinis at The Abbey and they definitely were affected by it already. So, they decide that making out with each other was the thing to do. There my two friends are, making out on a couch in the East West lounge while I take pictures, with some creepy old man who followed us in to the back room staring at us. And then Milo wants me to kiss JW too, because apparently that's what gays do with their friends. They all make out with each other. So I do, and get a picture taken of it.


After our make out session (well, more like just a peck really), we walk across the street to Eleven. I don't get carded and I walk in to find myself engulfed in a sea of hotties. We dance for a while and it gets real hot, real fast. One thing I really hate about myself is that I sweat so much... it's highly unattractive. But I figure everyone else is sweaty too, so I just forget about it and enjoy myself.

5 minutes into dancing at Eleven, JW spots a Random Hottie and quickly snakes his way through the crowd to bump and grind next to him. For the first 5 minutes or so, it didn't seem likely that it was going to go anywhere, but all of a sudden, Random Hottie turns around and starts dancing with JW. Milo and I look over and just smile, but in our minds we are both thinking, "You lucky bitch!" Pretty soon, they're making out. And being absolutely shameless, Milo takes a picture of it. And I share that with you all now as well.


And as the two make out, JW makes some gesture with his arms at us and we can only assume it to be "Get the fuck away from us so I can keep making out with this Random Hottie." So we do and we go to the bar and grab a drink. Milo orders an Amaretto Sour and just stands there for about 5 minutes while the incredibly hot, muscular, cute bartender continues to take orders from other guys at the bar. Milo gives him a look to ask, "How much?" and he gives a look back to say, "Just take the drink." And so he walks away with a free drink from Hottie Bartender. And since he didn't pay for it, I drink about half of it, and I discover my new favorite drink.

Pretty soon, it's 2AM and the bar makes the announcement that it's closing up, so we make our way out the door and back to my car. On our way back on the side streets, JW finds a building with a glowing red light shining down the side of it. JW gets the bright idea to do an impromptu photo shoot, because apparently that's what gays do. Though I am opposed to it at first, JW and Milo insist I take a picture and I surprisingly get a pretty good photo of myself. Maybe red is my color.


After our crazy photo shoot, we finally get in our cars, get some food at the drive thru at Del Taco, and drive back home. On the drive home, we blast some showtunes on the stereo and sing-along as if we are Broadway stars, because apparently that's what gays do. Unfortunately, I do not have a photo or video of that to share... or maybe it's for the better that I don't have anything to share.

And that's my first experience in WeHo, my first experience at a gay bar, my first experience at ANY bar... and I must say I had an amazing time, thanks to JW and Milo. I really love the two of them, they've become my true BEST friends and I hope we plan to go out to WeHo again soon. Maybe next time, I won't have to make out with my friends and get my own Random Hottie to make out with. Keep your fingers crossed for me! LOL, I'm such a wannabe slut.

My Day

My alarm on my iPhone rang at 10:43am. I snoozed the alarm about 3 times, and finally, around 11:15am, I decide to turn the alarm completely off. I open the Palringo Instant Messaging application on my iPhone and go through the buddy list. Clark was online, so I decided to get out of bed, and move over to the couch where my laptop was waiting for me. I turn on Yahoo Messenger and I say hey to Clark.

I've been so thankful for finding Clark and for finding Barry as well. I talk to these two guys more than my real life friends. I look forward to seeing them online everyday. I've been able to open up to them a lot more than my friends. Even the ones that I've already come out to. However, JW and Milo are coming over on Thursday for a "Boys Night" so maybe we'll be doing a lot of sharing that night.

At around 1:00pm, Clark signs off and I decide that I should get out of the house and do something. So I take my check that needed to be deposited about 3 weeks ago and go to the bank. This branch happens to be inside a grocery store, so I also do some grocery shopping, which includes a whole bunch of junk snacks and freezer foods. The whole time I was at the store, I was just not feeling well emotionally. My head was held low, I moved pretty slowly down the aisles, and I just wasn't happy. This has been going on for the past few days, but it was especially bad today.

I get home by 2:00pm and eat some lunch while watching Desperate Housewives. (Missed most of last season, but decided to put the season premiere on TiVo anyway) Then I got back online and browsed the internet for a while. Bored completely out of my mind, I decide to just take a nap before I have to head out for work.

I wake up at 5:15pm and drive to work. At work, I'm supposed to bring joy to paying customers, but I found myself having to force the smile of my face. It's usually an easy thing for me, but today, it was extra hard. I finish what I have to do, and I head home, not even a hint of a smile on my face.

I get home and Barry gets online. I had actually started writing him an email telling him my awful day, but I decide to just tell him on Yahoo Messenger. I explain to him it's J that's making me feel this way. Everything I do reminds me of J. No matter what it is, my mind will link it back to J. I tell him I'm sick of it. He tells me that J is not the right guy for me. And that I like the idea, but not actually him. Some part of me believes that. But then I also think about how perfect he was for me. We shared so many of the same interests and had amazing conversations together. And the sex was great. Am I ever going to find someone like that again? He tells me that I will - but I won't find him, and he won't find me, if I'm still hung up on someone else. There's got to be something that can be done to get my mind off of J. Why is it so hard??

The rest of the night, I watched Dancing with the Stars, Chuck, and Heroes. It's 3:00am now, and I'm watching a show on the National Geographic Channel. I should just get to sleep and try and sleep this depression away. I'm showing signs of mild depression but I just hope it doesn't get any worse. I see commercials on TV for the drug Cymbalta, and I just don't want to be like those actors in the commercial who are mopey and tragically unattractive...

Made it to Florida!

So I hopped on my JetBlue flight Wednesday morning and made my way over to Florida. Wonderful flight. No complaints. Didn't have anyone sitting next to me the whole way there (I had a connecting flight), so I was very happy. :) Go to Florida and PeeJ was there to pick me up. I also met up with my friend Anthony (who is my friend who's getting married at Disneyland, see previous post) and the three of us went to a bar to just catch up. It was great times. I spent the night at PeeJ's family's house. Next day, I met up with two more friends who I used to work with and now work out here in Florida. Had lunch with them at TGIFriday's. Then spent the rest of the day with PeeJ at Disney's Hollywood Studios.

I'm just so happy that I have friends to visit out here. It's great that I'm going on vacation on my own, but it's always better when friends are involved. And I'm just happy to see all of them because I don't get to see them at all anymore!

On to more depressing news now... I emailed J when I was at the airport waiting for my connecting flight. I kept it short, and let him know that I was going to be in Florida... wait... let me just copy and paste the whole thing:

Hey J,

I'm making my way out to Florida right now. I really needed the vacation from work. The cruise fell through (long story), but I'm staying with my friend for the first two days, and then at two different resorts the rest of the time, until the 24th. Not gonna lie, pretty bummed I haven't heard from you in a while, but I'd really love it if you'd come meet me while I'm in Orlando, if anything, just for coffee or something. so please write back or call me and let me know.. you have my number. If you don't want to, then just tell me and I'll leave you alone. it's only fair.

-DL

So what do you guys think? Straight to the point and I ask for a response. Well, nothing yet. It's been a day and a half now. I'm waiting for the weekend to give him time to respond. But I'm seriously just so sad about my situation. I talked with JW and Clark about being depressed... and they talked me out of it a little. But I'm still pretty down. And I know it's absolutely STUPID but I really can't help it. Why is this happening to me?? When will I find happiness again? Milo suggests that I go out to the theme parks, meet cute boys, and be slutty. No other time than while on vacation. LOL! This may be the best advice I've gotten in a long time.

Coming Out, #2

Well, I did it! Last night, I came out to my friend, Milo. He's gay as well and he's been the friend that I really wanted to come out to the most. He's become one of REALLY great best friends and it's just been killing me to not be honest with him. Last night, we were talking online just about random stuff and I just felt like it was time to tell him. I was talking to Barry at the same time too and I was telling Barry what I intended to do. Barry was so supportive and pretty much coached me through telling Milo. It was so nice of Barry and I think he really helped me.

So I just IMed Milo and told him that I had something to tell him. I typed out what I wanted to stay but my finger hovered over the "ENTER" button for a good 3 minutes. Finally, I just decided to press the button. And at first I didn't know how he was going to respond. But he was nothing but supportive. One of the first things he said back was: Can I just tell that I'm very proud of you for being true to yourself. He really is a great friend and it just makes me feel so good to finally be honest with him. And for the next hour and a half we just talked. He got mad that I told JW first (well not really mad.. just jokingly). He also told me he was going to take me out to West Hollywood with JW and celebrate. LOL. Of course, we talked about J, and how I was going to Florida to possibly see him. He gave me some valuable advice and I'm definitely going to try and listen to it.

Well, two coming outs and both were great. As Barry said, I'm just letting my friends know a little bit more about myself by coming out to them. It's just one more characteristic of me that they'll know about. I'll still be the me that I've always been. I think thinking about it that way is really going to help me in coming out to more of my friends.