Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Election, Prop 8, and Mom

I'm now 24 years old and it's time that I take a more active part in this country's politics. I already missed the 2004 elections. I let that opportunity pass by because I was too lazy to be informed. But I am changing that. I want to know about the issues and the policies. I want to read the news and be updated on what the candidates are saying. I want to exercise my right as a US citizen to vote.

The California Voter's Information Guide was sent to my house about 2 weeks ago. It details all the Propositions in California, giving the background, the proposal, the fiscal effects, and then has the argument for each proposition and the rebuttal for it. I'm hoping that everyone received one in the mail. Well, I had mine. And then being the idiot that I am, I probably threw a pile of junk mail on top of it, and then threw away the entire stack. I was so excited to read through it, use a highlighter, and write annotations on it. But now I don't have one. Yes, I know there's one online, but I don't want to just read it online and I don't want to print out 100+ pages! So I've been asking my friends to give me a copy if they have an extra one or if they don't plan on using it. I'm hoping I'll get it tomorrow... because I want to give myself enough time to read through all of it!

In other news, I went home to my family this weekend. My family had the Voter's information Guide, but it was in Chinese so I couldn't use it. But my mom was flipping through it and she asked me what each one was and what I thought about it. I told her I didn't know because I threw mine away... but then she mentioned Proposition 8. She asked me what I think about it. So I told her that Prop 8 is trying to overturn the courts' decision and that it would be taking away the right for people to get married. I don't think we went any further than that. But in my mind, I was actually afraid that she would ask for more explanation. I was afraid that if she asked me more about it, I would get pretty heated about the whole thing. And I was afraid that if I got heated about it, that she would ask why I feel so passionate about this issue. And I was afraid that if she asked me why I was so passionate about it, that I would have to tell her that it's because I'm gay.

All of this seriously went through my head as I was standing next to her with the guide opened in front of us. I just don't think I'm anywhere near ready to come out to my mom. I think I'm going to have to do this gradually. Maybe feel out how she feels about gay people in general. I have a pretty good idea already, but I'm basing that on just the general view of gay people in the Asian community/culture. But maybe it's different with my mom. Maybe she'd be more accepting. And maybe it'd be different if it was her son. I just don't know. Maybe it'll take years before I'm ready to come out to her.. and maybe it'll be never. But for now, it's just a very daunting thought.

This is what I hope will happen if/when I do come out to my mom:


DOUG and MOM are sitting on the couch, TV on in the background.


I have something to tell you.


What is it?


Well, I wanted to let you know
that I'm gay.

MOM stops focusing on the television and looks at DOUG. She looks into his eyes and wants to say something. But without saying anything, she leans over and gives DOUG a hug as if to say that she accepts it and that she loves him no matter what. They stay in a tight embrace, tears running down DOUG's eyes out of happiness.


exalen said...

Hey Mate, good on you for wanting to get more involved with the elections.

Have you thought about using Prop 8 as a lead in to bring up the discussion with your mom? I mean, a calm rational discussion about it - all hypothetical like - might be a good way to guage her feelings.

Though, that would require that you be calm and rational while having the discussion. :-)

Zee said...

I agree with the dude above. Talking about gay marriage or just current events in gay culture is a great way to see how somebody feels about gay people. I use it to test the waters all the time.

BTW, don't be afraid to get involved with politics. I love all of that stuff.

Doug said...

exalen, Zee: Thanks guys for the advice. I'm going to try that with her... I think it'd still be tough to just have any discussion about homosexuality with my mom. They (my parents) have had their suspicions about me before and I had to deny it and it was a horrible situation (I'll save it for a blog post). So I just don't want that to happen again...