My Internet Crush

Two months ago, I was on the internet dating hookup site that I always go on just checking out the guys on there when I get a message from a really cute guy. Hmm, why is this cute boy messaging me? When I looked at his pics, I thought to myself, "This is exactly the type of guy that I am attracted to!" So, I was excited to get a message from him and more interested to know why he would be interested in me. So I message him back and strike up a conversation.

His name is Garrett. He's white, a bit shorter than me, athletic build, swimmer, likes working out, WAY cute, funny, educated, motivated. Everything I want in a guy :P But after a few more messages, I notice that he's from Arizona.... 500 miles away :(

But that didn't stop me from messaging him and getting to know him better. He seemed to be interested in learning more about me as well. And since then, we've been talking every now and then. We've also swapped phone numbers so we text each other as well.

However, every time we chat now, it seems so superficial. It's always, "Hey, how's it going?" "What have you been up to lately?" "What'd you do today?"

I'm such a bad conversation starter. I'm even worse at keeping conversations going. So, everyone, please help me out! What do I talk about now? How do I keep our conversations interesting?

And I know you're asking, "Why are you so interested in keeping fresh with him? He lives far away..." Well, it turns out that he's getting a job offer out here in California in a month or two! He won't exactly be right next door, but he'll only be about 1.5 hours away. Way better than the 5-6 hours away that he is now. So we're most likely going to be meeting each other when he comes out here. I just want to keep him interested in me from now until then.

So how do I keep him interested? How do I make good conversation?...

Online Dating Hookup Site

I've talked about the online dating hookup site quite a few times here. It's where I found Jamie, afterall. But anyway, despite all I say about it, I still go back to it every night hoping for the best. I've had many people tell me that this site just ISN'T the way to meet guys yet I never listen.

Well, three nights ago, I messaged a guy that I have actually contacted before but we both sort of ignored each other after a while. I messaged him again just to see if he'd respond or remember me. I mean, we didn't really talk much before so I wasn't expecting him to remember. And I was right, he didn't remember. He asked to see my Private picture (which is my face pic) so I unlock it for him. He tells me that I'm cute. ;) And I think he's actually pretty hot! He's white with blonde hair and green eyes (I believe). Around my height and pretty athletic. We talk about our lives, what we do, our education, and other things. We eventually exchange names, emails, and AIMs. His name is Jason. :)

The next day, I don't email him at his regular email yet. I just message him through the site again. And we go back and forth there, but then he asks if we can talk on AIM, so I agree. And then he said that since he has his hands full with laundry, he wanted to know if I have a cam so that he can keep talking. I said yes, but then I lied and said my mic was broken. (I don't like my own voice and I don't like talking... as gay+teen+sydney will attest to). So he talked on cam and I just cammed without voice. He has such a cute voice. Not too gay, yet not super manly. Just sort of playful. And he has a great sense of humor. At least the kind that I like.

Eventually he needed to take a bath and he asked if I would mind it if he just took the cam in the bath. OF COURSE I didn't mind! lol. He looked so cute in the bath and still talking to me. He started lathering up and then he stood up and then started playing with himself. I IMMEDIATELY was turned on. I could tell he was a pro at this camming thing. And I should know! hehe :P And then he asked if I liked taking baths. I told him I don't do baths, I just shower. I also slipped in that I hadn't taken my shower yet. I'm naughty, I know. Skipping some conversation, YES, I did end up showering on cam for him. It was hot. ;) And we definitely jacked off on cam together until we both came.

After the shower cam, we talked for a bit more but we eventually went to sleep. That night, I talked to a friend and expressed my concern that now my "relationship" with Jason will just be "sex cam buddies"... and I didn't want that with him. I had great conversation with him beforehand. I want an actual friendship/relationship. It was something I was thinking about while I fell asleep that night.

The next night, we see each other on AIM again. He asks if I had my mic fixed yet. For some reason, I felt comfortable enough to tell him "yes." But, before getting on cam, I said to him, "I don't want you to think that I'm just a big cam whore. I was hoping we could get to know each other a little better. I don't want everything to be about jacking off and sex." He responds, "That is nice of you. I like talking to you as well mister." That made me feel a little better about our "relationship." We did talk a bit, but we also did eventually jack off together again. Let me just say that it's SUPER hot because he likes to talk dirty on cam. Mmmmmm..... :P

So I'm supposed to meet up with him tomorrow night.... I'm supposed to text him to let him know what's up. I like the guy, but I don't know what meeting him will mean. I mean, I guess I'm not opposed to hooking up with him, but like I said before, I actually am kind of interested in him in more than just a sexual way. So I don't want us to just be sex buddies... But I guess I'm not really certain about what he wants out of this. Plus, I may have seemed like I had lots of experience by the way I was camming... but I really don't have a lot of sexual experience and I'm not sure what he's expecting out of me...

I have 2 options: 1) I could agree to meet up with him. In which case I will find out what his true intentions are... whether he's willing to work on a friendship/relationship or if he just wants to fuck. Or 2) I could just be a coward and never know and just don't text him.

Err.. what do you guys think??

Last Week of Unemployment

It's the last few days of lounging around doing nothing for the entire day! WOO! If you've read before, I haven't been technically "unemployed." I've still been with Disney this whole time, just not getting any hours. But rehearsals for the new show starts next Monday night and I'm just excited to have something on my schedule! And now these next few days are going to be super brutal because I just want to fast forward to Monday!

I have no idea what to do to keep myself busy. All my friends seem to be doing something with their lives, yet I'm stuck at home just watching TV the whole day. I don't have any money to actually go out and do something fun. Or even go out for a movie. Or a dinner. Nothing. So I'm trapped inside my apartment watching TV and porn. All day. However fun that may sound, even porn gets boring after 6 hours...

Good news is I only have to endure through Friday. I'm meeting my friends from school to watch Slumdog Millionaire at my friend's place. (She downloaded the movie. hehe) And then I head back to my family's house that night because on Saturday and Sunday, I'm going up to Big Bear Lake to try my hand (or feet?) at snowboarding! I've been skiing once or twice, and the last time I went, my sister forced me off of the bunny slopes and up the intermediate lift. I stood at the top, scared as hell, as my sister just said, SEE YA, and left me. I inched my way closer and closer to the decline and then suddenly I was on my way. I had NO idea how to turn or slalom or whatever you call it. So I was zoooooming down the mountain... straight down... and picking up speed the entire time. I TRIED to maneuver side to side with very little success. Eventually, the slope leveled out a bit and I forced myself to crash into the fence on the side to stop. yay. Thank goodness I didn't break any bones.. just some bruises and scratches all over my body. And since then, I've never been back in the snow. And that was.... I think... maybe 10 years?? LOL.

So I'm really hoping I'm a little bit more coordinated now. And hopefully snowboarding will just miraculously come natural to me. HAHA. We'll see... I'll keep you all posted.

In other news, I think my friend Davie has found me on the internet dating hookup site that I go to... he text me last night at 2:42am while I was sleeping. All he wrote was, "(the name of the site)?" And I got it this morning when I woke up... very confused... but a little embarrassing if he's found my profile just cuz of the photo that I put up there. It's of me shirtless... I put it up a few days ago. I HAVE been getting a lot more messages than usual after I put that picture up though, but not exactly from guys that I'm interested in. Anyway... I don't even know why I go on there. Maybe it's an ego thing. Cuz I really don't think I would hookup with anyone on there .... anymore :P

See... I'm NOT a Slut!

I was just on that online dating hookup site that I always go on and I was offered some "dirty sex" by this incredibly hot guy! He's blonde, and tall, and has nice muscles, and super cute. Totally my type. Well, I ask him "how dirty?" So he replies, "rough. bare. sweaty." I write back: "I like the rough and sweaty part. But I only play it safe. Sorry."

I turned down super hot guy! And I don't really feel too bad about it because I know I made the right decision! I am NOT going to have sex if it's not safe. you all should be so proud of me. :D

(and btw, if you haven't yet, please go look at the Poll on the right and read the post right below about moving my blog to WordPress...)

My Birthday

Disclaimer: Some parts of this blog post are sexually explicit ;)

First, thanks to those who wished me a happy birthday ;)

So on this Friday, I stay up chatting with Barry on Yahoo Messenger until 6am. We find out that we have a lot of the same tastes in music. We start swapping some MP3s, and I find out that you can give songs as gifts on iTunes! Barry sends me two songs through iTunes as a birthday present and I am so thankful. He's so cute for sending me something for my birthday. And I thank him from the bottom of my heart for spending money on me.

After the chat and sleep, I wake up at 12 noon and start my day off with some lounging on the couch. I open up my laptop and go through my routine of checking MySpace, Facebook, and the blogs. Then I open up an internet gay dating hookup site and browse through the profiles. I find a guy that more or less fits my "type": young, athletic, white boy with blonde hair and a good smile. So I send him a message to say hi. Not too much later, I receive a message back asking how I was doing and if I go to 24 Hour Fitness. So through a few rounds of messages back and forth, I tell him that yes, I have a membership, and sure I'll meet him there. I don't usually do this. And by "this", I mean I don't usually agree to random hookups. But I figure, hey, it's my birthday. I should do something fun!

I drive out to the gym and I enter the locker room. Immediately, I see 4 or 5 really hot, half naked guys getting dressed/undressed. Of course I also see 4 or 5 not so attractive guys as well, but I ignore them and focus (without being obvious, of course) on the hot ones. I get undressed as well, feeling completely inadequate compared to all the hotties, which just motivates me to go to the gym more often now, and put on my swim trunks and go out to the pool. I spot him doing some laps in the pool so I take the lane next to him and also do some laps. Swimming is good for my scoliosis, and I have lots of fun swimming - I don't know why I don't do it more often. Back to Swimming Hottie...., we do some continuous laps and we find ourselves taking breaks at the same time right next to each other. We take some glances at each other and make eye contact a few times. He then gets out of the pool and walks over to get into the jacuzzi. I follow suit after doing a few more laps. More glances and awkward eye contact. Other people enter and exit the jacuzzi. We finally give each other the signal to get the heck out of there. So I go back in the locker room and see more hotties down the locker aisles. One of them is checking himself out in the mirror. I would too if I had a body like that! Yum. I get dressed and see Swimming Hottie walking out, so I follow.

I follow him down to a quiet place outside and he tells me that he lives just down the street but his roommates are home. Darn. So I ask if he wants to exchange numbers, so we do. And I head back to my car, trying to decide what else to do for the rest of my birthday. As I put my gym bag in the trunk of my Prius, I get a text from Swimming Hottie: "Wanna fool around in your car?" I respond, "Sure." So I pick him up and we drive across the street to a parking structure and drive up to the top floor. I park, leave the car on of course, and we go about having some fun. He reaches over and starts to take off my shorts. I do the same and he's already hard as a rock. He leans over and we make out with each other for a while. It's still a weird sensation to feel stubble when I kiss but I think I quite enjoy that. And then he leans over and starts giving me a blowjob. He comes back up after about a minute or two and I reach over and play with him. I'm about to lean over to reciprocate, but he tells me to stop jerking him, and then 2 seconds later, he starts cumming. If it wasn't clear before, we had only parked maybe 4 minutes prior to this. Sigh... I'm still pretty hard so I just start jerking myself off. After he finishes and cleans up, he reaches over to finish me off. I just try to cum as quick as possible because it's just awkward now and I kind of want to laugh out loud at him for cumming so quickly. I drive him back to the gym because he rode his bike and I drop him off. Not so sure I'll meet up with him again... but I guess it was still fun to do something that I don't usually do. Plus it gave my confidence and ego a much needed boost.

And since I drove out to Costa Mesa, I decide to head out to the Apple Store there to check out the newly updated MacBooks and MacBook Pros. I find them to be incredibly sleek and sexy! I think I might have cum a second time as I play with these incredible machines. Hehe. But unfortunately, I can't afford to even pay for a nice dinner, so I'm going to just have to be satisfied with my current, outdated MacBook for the time being.

I also visit the Sports Chalet next door to buy accessories for my Halloween costume! After a few days of thinking of concepts and designing and searching on the internet (and some inspiration from Ja over at Gym Ra(n)t), I finally decide that this year, I'm going to be a P.E. Teacher! Of course, a sexy, pervy, hot P.E. Teacher. ;) So basically, I buy wrist bands, a headband, and whistle. I already have long tube socks and some sneakers. And I'm getting a pair of hot short shorts from InternationalJock.com - and this is what they look like:

If only I looked like that!!

I'm just deciding on what to wear for a top. Something tight and sexy. Maybe a sleeveless T. But should I print some sort of logo or anything on it? Will I need to in order to convey the P.E. Teacher look? Or will everything else be good enough? I'm going to carry around a clipboard for pictures, but I'm ditching that when the party begins. But I'm REALLY excited about going to my two planned Halloween parties this year! I just need to make sure to head out to the beach to tan my legs if I'm going to wear those short shorts! That, or get some bronzer!

The rest of the day, I hang out with the ex-girlfriend. And then I have a nice dinner with close friends at Chili's. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I'm an ultra-lightweight when it comes to alcohol, but I decide that my birthday is an appropriate to get a drink. So I leave it up to my friends to choose a drink for me. The only rule is that they have to pick a drink where they don't think I can taste the alcohol, because if I taste it, it's guaranteed to come back up. So they order the Reggae Sunsplash. I don't even know what's in it, but I drink it and it tastes good. So I drink some more. But within a minute, my face turns bright red. And the next few minutes, my friends take pictures of my incredibly flushed face.

I get home after the dinner and decide that since I'm still dressed up nicely from my dinner that this is as good a time as any to take some pictures of myself. I snap about 10-15 pictures, keep about 8, and am now posting one for y'all.


I quickly upload this photo to the internet dating hookup site and start browsing again. I find another boy fitting my type and proceed to message him as well. To my surprise, I get a response. 2 out of 2 for the day. He asks me how I was doing, so I tell him I was doing pretty well and that I just had dinner with my friends for my birthday. He then wishes me a happy birthday and tells me that he thinks that every guy should get a blowjob on his birthday. Hmmm... again, not something that I would do normally, but since it is still my birthday for another hour, I play along. After a few more messages back and forth, I agree to having some fun with him. Then he tells me, "Well, it's pretty late tonight and I have to work tomorrow." Failure... Or so I thought. After the "pressure" of meeting up was gone, we continue to send each other messages back and forth. We swap pictures of ourselves, G-rated and some body shots. We then schedule a time where we can meet up, which will be this Wednesday night. And we swap phone numbers so we can text each other. By this time, it's about 3:00am, so the "I have to work tomorrow" thing was just a lie, but I'm glad he did because I probably would have felt REALLY uncomfortable meeting him without getting to know him more. Swimming Hottie was different because I met him at a public place, but this guy I would be meeting him either at his place or my place. Anyway, I get a text from him at 3:30am asking me for a picture of my cock hard. I think, what the heck, why not? So I take a quick one on my iPhone and send it to him (and I make sure to delete it right away because I know my friends/family like to play with my iPhone... so Miles and Jon - you won't find anything naughty on my iPhone! LOL). He texts me back a few times to tell me that I'm cute and hott (definite ego-booster) and then he asks if I can take a picture of me cumming. So I tell him I can do one better and I give him my xtube channel. (Not going to publicize my channel here tho) He says he really enjoyed it and that he is really looking forward to having some fun with me on Wednesday. I must say that I'm looking forward to it too! And then all of a sudden, it's 4:30am and I decide to call it a night and end my birthday celebration because I'm dead tired.

But all in all, for an unplanned birthday, I had a pretty exciting day, wouldn't you say? A sort of low key, yet adventurous and fun birthday. Looking forward to seeing what's in stored for me this year!