Thursday, January 8, 2009

"This is going to sound horrible..."

So I had the talk with Matty. To paraphrase, I told him that I'm just not ready to spend so much time together so soon and that we're just moving too fast. I told him it was my fault for not speaking up about it earlier, but I just wasn't ready for a relationship yet. He asked if he should just stop coming around. I told him that I enjoyed our time together and that we should still come over to play video games and hang out from time to time.

After the talk, we were both online but we didn't IM each other for the longest time. And then out of nowhere he IMs me and asks me what I was doing. So I tell him I'm watching TV and Facebook-ing. He tells me he's watching a movie. We have some chit chat for a bit. Then he says, "ok, this is going to sound horrible... but can we still have sex?"

LOL. I really did "LOL" him back on IM. Followed be a "hahahaha." And then a "sure." :P

HAHA, so I take it that he took "the talk" real well. ;) And now I guess I have my first friend with benefits! Never had one of those before!


Barry said...

Be careful with the boys Doug ;)

inebriated said...

those are always the best kind

E said...


Anonymous said...

I saw this coming ages ago.

IDK, but perhaps it's a way to relax and enjoy your time together.

A safe, fully consensual, responsible and respectful arrangement may be what will work for you both.

"Having sex" is such an imprecise term. I don't think one night stands and humping anything that walks by is very smart... but I know it is common.

As long as you both understand the reality and accept any emotional risks involved, who can tell you what to do?

Perhaps in some circumstances intimacy of this sort makes sense. But don't kid yourselves, it IS a relationship and it will require communication and honesty, etc. if it to "work".

And who knows, overtime it may grow and emerge into a different relationship.

It may be helpful to share some of the experience here as you have been. Maybe it is a good way for other guys to see possibilities as they come to understand their own sexuality. And you can get feedback and reactions too, which you seem to like.

Wish you all the best.

feetlikewings said...

Benefriends! I want one too =(

LOL. Your photo gave me eyestrain, I was trying to look deeper and then...oh.

Doug said...

Barry: Thanks for looking out, Barry. You're awesome :)

Anonymous: You saw this coming ages ago? hehe. When were you going to tell me? lol. Thanks for the advice and comments. You do know me well.

feetlikewings: is that a good "and then...oh?" or a bad "and then...oh?"

Aek said...

Haha, I find it highly amusing he still wants to have sex with you. :P

As mentioned, be safe and all that. Always be safe. :)

Godfrey Off the Grid said...

sounds great. but like others have mentioned, this could potentially end up leading to something more. good luck though. i'm sure you'll have fun along the way. ;)

PhD Snowboarder said...

A Bromance is always the way to go. I'm proud that you spoke up and you were honest. Good Karma will come your way!


Doug said...

Aek: why is it amusing? what are you trying to say?? :P

Godfrey: fun is always good.

PhD: Thanks man. Not too many people have ever told me they are proud of me ;) Thanks for the good karma wishes!

j said...

but it'll only work if both of you only see each other as friends. if one of you wants something more he's going to end up miserable. i would know, i'm always the miserable one...

feetlikewings said...

Oh lol.

I meant I was being retarded flipping my laptop screen and changing the angles so I can see better. But then I was like "oh...he probably meant it to be that way" I thought there was something in my monitor creating the shadows.

haha i can be stupid sometimes.