I'm Not Dead

Wow... how long has it been? I'm not dead. I've just been busy... and lazy.
New "parade" opened at Disneyland. Opening weekend was GREAT. Crowd was amazing. Lots of my friends came to support it. Too bad a lot of Disney-Fanboys (and fangirls) hate it... They think it just doesn't belong in Disneyland... not traditional enough for them. They miss the old parade. BLAH... it kinda puts a damper on things. Wish I just didn't know about these "reviews." Oh well.

Debating whether or not to post a video of the show on here. Help me decide.

So my crush at work... only works ONE day on the parade. And it's on a day that I'm OFF. BLAH. sucks big time. He's so hot. I can't stop staring at him when he's around. He actually showed up to the Pizza Party that I organized at a local Shakey's Pizza Parlor. I was surprised to see him. Too bad we still didn't get to know each other better. I did get a picture with him though. HEHE.

There is another boy at work that I DO see around all the time. He's super hot/cute. AND he rides a motorcycle. DANGEROUS! hehe. Something about the bike that makes him even hotter. Too bad he's taken... going out with someone else in the parade. sigh....

Am I ever going to find a boy of my own? And one that doesn't annoy the hell out of me? lol. Matty has been IMing and Facebook chatting me ALL the time. And it's just too much. I feel bad.. but it's just really annoying. So I really don't feel all THAT bad when I just ignore him. I almost want to just block him from AIM and delete him from my Facebook friends... sigh...

Well I hope everyone is doing well! I'm going to try and get back to blogging more often. And also stay more up to date on all your blogs. Promise!

P.S. I just re-read this post here... I just realized that I write so horribly. It's really just like a stream of consciousness. Am I even writing in complete sentences, or is it just a bunch of fragments? I'm going to make an effort to write a little better. I don't know... unless you guys like the way I write. But reading it back just kind of bothered me because I don't think any other blogs read that way. It really makes me look very uneducated... but I swear, I graduated from UCLA! LOL.

Hong Kong (Part 3): Hong Kong Disneyland

I've kind put off posting about Hong Kong Disneyland just because I think you guys might find it boring. I really doubt that any of you share the same excitement about Disney Theme Parks as I do... but I promised, so I'll post. :P

So we took the subway over to Disneyland. It was about a 30 minute subway ride away. A few changes in station. But Disneyland had their OWN trains that took guests over to the Disneyland Resort. You'll see in one of the pictures below that they went all out with the train... Mickey windows, Disney character statuettes inside, Mickey handles... pretty cool. :)



When we got there, we were greeted by a massive fountain that featured Mickey Mouse riding on a surfboard on top of the water blown from the spout of Monstro. Well, I assume it's Monstro, from Pinocchio. But I guess it can just be some random whale... And then other Disney characters (The rest of the Fab 5: Minnie, Goofy, Donald, Pluto) are on the sides as well.


Then it's on to the Main Gates. If you guys have been to Disneyland (California one) before, then you'll recognize the Train Station and the Floral Mickey out front. Also, the castle is an exact replica of Sleeping Beauty Castle found at our Disneyland here. But you can tell this one is from Hong Kong because of the Lantau Mountains in the background.



We first went to "The Festival of the Lion King" which is a stage show in the round, where they tell the story of the Lion King. Really done very well. Some of the singers weren't the best, but overall, the experience was great. Just a very intricate show with awesome floats, costumes, staging, and dancing. :)



Then we were off to the Jungle Cruise. It was pretty special over at Hong Kong Disneyland because it's HUGE. The river that it operates on is GIANT. And there's a special portion that no other Jungle Cruise has, which you will see in this movie:

The rest of the day, we went on rides such as "it's a small world" and "Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters." Didn't go on other rides because they're all repeated from other Disney parks. We did sit down and watch the parade, but it really isn't anything that great. So I won't bore you with those pictures. I'm just happy that I work at Disneyland USA where our parades are amazing. ;)

I will, however, share a picture from their other stage show: "Golden Mickeys." It's a borrowed show that originated from the Disney Cruise Lines. Several small changes here and there, but it's basically the same show where a presenter is giving out awards (Golden Mickeys) to different Disney characters, and along the way, of course there's singing and dancing to music from Disney movies. :)


All in all, a very fun day. We did pretty much everything that I wanted to do in the 6 hours that we were there. It's a very small park. And I mean REALLY small. But I got in free.. got my family in free.. so it was worth it. ;) Here are some extra photos of their Main Street (notice no trolley tracks on the ground) and some atmosphere art (a Chinese written character made to look like Mickey).


After leaving Disney, we went back to my aunt's house for a quick dinner, and then it was off to the airport! My mom and I took a late night flight back to LA. So, like I said, a real quick trip. But got a lot of things done and glad I made the trip. :) It was just nice to see all my relatives again.

So yay! I finished my Hong Kong posts! haha. Hope I didn't bore you all with all my Disney goob-iness. :P

Quick Update

I haven't been posting... I've been busy ever since I got back from the snow trip. But a quick update: I started work at Disney again. Rehearsals and such. And also, remember the audition I went to about 2.5 weeks ago? I was just informed yesterday that I got it! I can't wait! I've wanted to be in this show ever since I first saw it! It was THE show that made me want to work at Disneyland. So I'm finally going to be able to do it after working there for 6 years!! :)

More rehearsals for me. It's non-stop rehearsals until this new show debuts on March 27th. And then I'll start rehearsals for the show that I just got up until THAT show comes on in June. And then I'll be auditioning for another parade (the Electrical Parade) in April, which will also come up in June. So I think things are looking up for me! I'm so happy right now! WEE!

(P.S. I promise to finish my Hong Kong trip reports and then my Snow trip report too!)

Hong Kong

I'm having a great time here in Hong Kong. I've gotten some business taken care of regarding my identification card in Macao (a neighboring city-state of Hong Kong) and will be doing the same for Hong Kong tomorrow. Since my parents were born in Macao, I am eligible for a special "Residents Card" that allows for easier entry into Macao. And since I was born in Hong Kong, I'm eligible for Hong Kong's special "Residents Card." So after I receive these cards, I'll probably make trips to Hong Kong more often since it'll be convenient. :) And plus I have lots of relatives here in Hong Kong and Macao.

So, I've seriously eaten SOOO much in my 3 days here. Macao and Hong Kong have little restaurants EVERYWHERE. Every street has some sort of restaurant. And they're little hole-in-the-wall style shops. And there's ALL different kinds of foods. I've eaten a different style of Chinese food every day. I've even gotten some Portuguese food as well! But surprisingly, I'm not any fatter than before. Must be all the walking that we do.

Two days from now, we're heading to Hong Kong Disneyland. I get to go for free, so why not?! And I get to take 3 family members with me too! There's not much to do at this Disneyland, but I'm excited to see the shows and just see a new Disneyland. I'll be taking loads of pictures -- living up to the Asian Tourist stereotype! :P

Speaking of pictures, I don't really have time to upload any pictures now. Plus I need to take some time to "Anonymous-ize" my pictures. (Like my new word?) But I promise to post pictures once I get back to the comfort of my own home in the States.

More updates soon! Hope everyone is doing well!

Oh! 10,000 Views!

HAHA, so I totally forgot to keep track and already received my 10,000th view! Probably a few days ago! YAY! I'm so happy to have so many viewers (cuz you all know I'm a reader and comment whore) and I'm just glad that you guys come back to read up on my life. I'm happy to share it with all of you. :)

Not too much to say right now....
On Monday night, Matty called me to see what I was up to. I told him that I was actually on my way out (semi-true) but that he should stop by real quick because he left his cheese grater at my place. I told him to give me a call when he made it downstairs so that I could run it down to him. I didn't want him to come up, just because I don't want to lead him on anymore. So he called me, I went downstairs, and I gave him his grater. He had just come from his second-chance audition at Disney, but got cut again. So he had this horribly bummed and "feel sad for me, please" face. Wasn't working on me though. We just gave each other a hug and then I said goodbye and went back upstairs. We've only been in contact sparsely through text and AIM since then.

And updating everyone about my documentary film, I just finished all the scheduled interviews today. Had a REAL long day of interviews on my very last day! Everyone waited until the last minute to sign up for an interview! LOL. So, now it's time to edit edit edit! I have 7 hours of interview footage to go through. And then there's additional footage to sift through and insert into the film. Such a huge project. I'm never going to finish by my Feb 13 deadline.... wish me luck.

Responding to the comments about the Dealbreaker: Thanks everyone for your comments. I'm happy that you support me on the no-smoking rule. I have to say I was being way bitchy in the post. But I think that's just cuz I was just REALLY over him that night and needed to vent. Then responding to comments about me leaving for Hong Kong: Thanks for the well wishes! It's really not a very "relaxing" vacation because I'm going to be running around a lot, getting all the business done. But hopefully I will find some time to head to Disneyland and to have some great food. As for calling myself fatty... I just like to be self-deprecating... if you haven't figured that out yet. But in all honesty, I think I'm in the best shape in a REAL long time. And it's just going to get better once the new parade starts! Now I want to work on my arms, chest, shoulders, and back. Anyone have any good dumbbell exercises to share for those muscle groups?

Alright... this is my last post until I get to Hong Kong! "Talk" to you all then!

Audition and Dealbreaker

I'm actually pretty tired right now again, but I want to write about what happened the past two days before I forget too much. Well, on Friday night, Matty came over for dinner. We went to the store to buy some last minute ingredients. Matty made veggie potstickers from scratch and I made my famous fried rice (sans meat) and a banana-chocolate bread. I must say that our dinner was a great success. Everything tasted amazing. I LOVED my fried rice. hehe. Even though it didn't have any meat in it, it still tasted like good fried rice. That is until Matty tampered with it. He said it needed more pepper. And I agreed with him, so I asked him to just sprinkle pepper into the wok. I was doing something else while he was doing that, but then I realized after about 15-20 seconds, he was STILL sprinkling pepper into it... and of course, when I got my plate of fried rice, it was WAY too pepper-y. He enjoyed it... but it really took away from the flavor of my fried rice. booo. strike one.

After dinner, we sat on the couch to watch a little bit of TV. We were both on our computers checking our emails and facebooks. Then he started telling me about this new anime cartoon that his friend got him hooked on. I have NO idea what it's about... something about super heroes that like food? I don't know... but he kept going on and on about it. Could he really not tell that I wasn't listening to him anymore? I think he must've talked for a good 10 minutes, explaining the anime in detail... didn't hear a word. Blah Blah Blah. strike two.

Well, not everything was bad though. We did have our sexy time. Got a little hot and heavy on the couch this time. Made out on the couch for a while, then took each others clothes off and made out naked on the couch for a while. Then I gave his dick some attention with my mouth. He seemed to like that. :P And then I climbed on top of him and rode him until I came on his stomach. Man, it felt good. ;) Took a shower together afterwards. He told me I looked good while we were in there. Said he liked my muscles and my abs. Ha. Sure said the right things there. guess I'll rescind strike two.

That night, he slept in my bed. We went to bed at 10:30pm. So early! It was because we were both going to the audition for the new parade at Disneyland. We wanted to get enough rest so that we could look our best for the audition. Well, I guess I'm just not used to sharing my bed.. especially my super dinky twin size bed made for one person. I was tossing and turning all night. I couldn't find a comfortable position. All the while, Matty was sound asleep. Blah... nerves about the audition probably didn't help the sleeping problem.. afterall, my income depended on it. I NEEDED to get this parade. It was real important to me.

So we wake up in the morning. We have some of my banana-chocolate bread for breakfast... YUMMY! And then we grab our stuff and head down to our cars. We had to drive separately because I was going to be leaving the audition to go to my other job, so we couldn't carpool. Well, when he got down to his car, he says to me: "So, my friend Bianca gave me this cigarette. Do you mind if I smoke it?" Err... first of all, I HATE smokers. I can't stand cigarette smoke. I just can't. When I was 10 years old, I was taking a 16 hour flight to Hong Kong. Back then, smoking had not been banned from flight yet. There were still smoking sections on the plane. And of course, our family was stuck in the smoking section. I had to endure 16 hours of secondhand smoke. THAT is why I cannot stand smoking. I told him: "Well, you can do whatever you want (because I'm not about to tell him what he can or can't do), but I just really hate smokers." And then I walked away and went to my car... strike two.

We got to the parking lot at backstage Disney, and we walk down together. I could smell the smoke on him. Just lovely... We get to the "holding area" for the audition, and I see a bunch of my friends standing together and chatting. I decide to stand elsewhere with Matty. I just didn't want to introduce my friends to Matty... that's so bad, isn't it? I just didn't want to deal with having to explain who Matty was. I'm still not out to everyone at work, and the day of the audition was definitely NOT going to be the day that that was going to happen. So I just kinda stayed off to the side with Matty.

We finally get in and we start to learn our first dance. I picked up the dance right away. It was a moderate level dance, but you gotta really be able to move to make it look good. Matty looked like he struggled with it. Despite what he says about having danced before, I could tell that he was not a dancer. I was pretty confident with it and I was getting into my "zone." When I'm at auditions, I just have this way of getting focused and doing what I need to do to learn it and retain the choreography. And that includes NOT over practicing it because it'll just screw me up later. So when they gave us time to practice it on our own, I sat down and just concentrated and visualized the dance in my head. Matty, however, was frantically going over the steps. He kept asking me questions about the choreography. And I would help him. I'd remind him the order of the routine and gave him some pointers on how to make it look better. I occasionally stood up and went through the routine with him, but again, this was already going out of my "zone." And because I didn't want to over practice, I didn't do the choreography full out with him, and he got mad at me! He was frustrated with how slowly he was getting the routine and then he was taking it out on me!! I thought to myself, "HOLD ON HERE. I'm trying to help you right now, but instead you're mad at ME for not doing it full out! I'm SORRY that I'm trying to concentrate on the routine in my own way. I have much more at stake than you do! I NEED this job. You're doing this for fun. ARGH." An overwhelming strike three!

Needless to say, Matty didn't make it pass the first cut. He was called into another room with about 100 other boys. They were told to either go home or come back on Monday for a stilt audition. Matty was asked to come back for the stilts. Apparently, he's going, even though his facebook status says that he feels he has no chance. Whatever. After his attitude at the audition, I was completely over him.

Strike 1 and 2A weren't that bad. But strike 2B and 3 were definite dealbreakers, in my book. When we first met, I told him that I didn't like smokers. I had clearly asked if he smoked. And I told him my story about the plane. And he told me that he had just recently quit, and I had told him that I was proud of him for doing that. Guess that didn't last very long. I just CANNOT date a smoker.. it's seriously one thing I REFUSE to do. And as for his attitude at the audition, I just think it was selfish of him to not recognize the importance of the audition to me and how I needed to concentrate on the audition in my own way. I had expressed to him a few times during the audition about how I go about concentrating and focusing. But I guess he just didn't listen and was just worried about himself. Like I said, I tried to help, but really, there wasn't much I could do for him.

I think I'm going to be seeing him again tomorrow, since he'll be at the stilt audition. I'm just going to tell him that it's not working out with the two of us. We just don't have that much in common and I'm going to tell him that smoking is pretty much a dealbreaker for me. Just gotta end this.

God, I must sound like a bitch... tell me what you guys think... am I being ridiculous? Or do you agree with me?

P.S. After my audition, I still had to go to my second job. So when I came home at night, I was exhausted and wanted to just rest on my bed. But when I got in my bed, all I could smell was cigarette smoke that had gotten into my blanket and my sheets. Matty had smelled like cigarette smoke when he spent the night... I had just assumed that he was around friends that smoked... so I didn't question him about it. But now knowing that he had started smoking again, I just couldn't help but blame HIM for making my bed all smelly. Just when I thought I could take a much needed nap on my bed, I had to instead take off my blanket and my sheets and wash them. THAT is why I had to wash my sheets... sorry it wasn't anything naughty. LOL.

My back...

So I woke up this morning (yes, morning... it was a miracle in the first place that I woke up before 1pm), and went to go to the bathroom. Then to wash my hands and face and brush my teeth. As I bent over the sink to rinse my mouth, my lower back had this HORRIBLE pain and I had to stand straight up again real fast. I tried to bend over again to see what was going on and the pain was still there. It's not a shooting pain.. kind of a dull pain... but it hurts and I couldn't really bend down or even sit down for quite a while. Slowly, I trained myself to adjust my back to a certain position so that I could actually sit in my car and drive.

And the worse part is today was my dance class at Disney. It's our little "preview" of the new parade that we're auditioning for. So it really wasn't the best day to be having this pain. The whole time warming up for the dance class, I was in pain. Having the ability to bend over is pretty important in dance....

I just worked through it. The pain has subsided, but it's still kind of there. I just have to be careful how I sit and stuff. This has happened before. And it kinda just went away after a few hours last time, so I hope it's the same this time. I'll just make sure to stretch? I dunno. I went to the athletic trainers last time and they couldn't tell me what was wrong.

I knew I should've gone to the chiropractors this past week... I was just too lazy to call for an appointment. This is a sign that I need to go make an appointment..

Biting Off More Than I Can Chew

First off, I continue to get the MOST views from a reader in Fullerton. I'm soooo curious to know who you are! Have you already said "HI" and I just didn't know it was you? Email me at nytedragon@gmail.com if you are the Fullerton reader! Well, heck, email me even if you aren't the reader! I just love emails ;) .... now back to regularly scheduled programming...

Today, I went full steam ahead on a project that I had been preparing for a long time. It's a short documentary film about the parade that I was involved with at Disneyland. It's more of a farewell video now... being made as a way to remember the parade. I'm going to be sharing this film with my fellow cast members and crew members.

Now, I have no real experience in film making. I have not taken any sort of film classes while in school and everything I've learned to do has been self taught. I bought some books on film making, especially documentary film making, and read a few online papers on the subject as well. So I have some idea of what I need to be doing, but now that I've really committed to this, I'm a little scared that I won't be able to actually achieve an end product that I will be proud of.

Today, I went inside Disneyland to do some location scouting for possible interview locations. A few of my friends were with me to help me in this process. And since we had time, I actually conducted some interviews too. It was actually fun. But in reviewing the tape, I found that there were many problems with the footage. The lighting wasn't the best, the audio was a mess (because our cell phones were turned on and I could hear the GSM feedback.. the noise you hear when you put your phone up near a speaker), the camera was shaky (because I didn't want to bring a tripod into Disneyland because I didn't want to draw extra attention to us), and the camera operator just did a poor job keeping the camera steady.

I just want everything to look and sound good, but so far, this first try has been a failure. I just hope that further interviews will be better. I guess I have a list of things that I know I need to change for the next time I go out and film. But I just hope I don't run into further problems.

In addition, I still have to learn how to use the new Video Editing software that I got for my computer: Final Cut Express. The software that was included with my Mac (iMovie) just isn't going to cut it because I'll need more functions in editing the audio and video. But I haven't even figured out how to import the footage into the computer using Final Cut Express yet! I think that is my biggest worry right now... it seems pretty complicated. I have an instructional book on the software, but I just haven't had the patience to sit there and read it. I guess I better do that soon!

Well, wish me luck on this project... I'm going to need it.

Response to Comments

I just wanted to write a post to say thanks for the well wishes from everyone on my last post.

But I just wanted to reply to a specific comment from exalen. I actually already posted a reply comment, but I wanted to write it as a post because I think everyone should read it to know a bit more about my situation.

Here's exalen's comment:

Dude, hate to have to be the voice of reason here, but I gotta ask you for a reality check.

The world is falling apart economically atm, and I think you need to play all the cards you got. If you're prepared to work at Starbucks and BOA then what is stopping you from actually using that teaching/econ degree you worked so hard for?

Since you're working towards your masters I assume you don't hate that industry. Maybe you don't love it as much as Disney, but I don't think you can afford to put all your eggs in one basket here.

Dieney may have been fun and I know you had some good times. But times change and life is not a static thing. You have to roll with the punches and adapt to survive.

Of course I wish you best of luck, and I'd love to be able to tel you to follow your dreams and damn the rest, but I also have to be the devil's advocate and ask you to look at the bigger picture and consider your long term future.

If you value your independance and want to maintain living by yourself then you have to look at all your options. Not just the easy/fun ones.

Well, here's my reply to exalen:

Thanks for playing devil's advocate. I need to hear it every once in a while.

I'm prepared to work for Stabucks and BOA because I know that working hours would work with Disney. My job at Disney doesn't require me to be there until after 2pm. Therefore a part time job at the other places in the morning is ideal.

I'm getting a Masters due to pressure from my family. Unfortunately, I don't have much of a passion for teaching. I used to. And then I went through the teaching credential program and lost it. Just wasn't what I thought. And then the opportunity to get a Masters was available so I took it because it was a relatively simple and quick way to get a Masters degree. And it made my family happy.

But you're so right about wanting to be independent and living alone... which is why I will be looking for a teaching job this Spring to start in Fall of 09. By that time, I will have received my Masters degree, which puts me at a higher pay scale. So I feel like it would be a little bit more worth it to start teaching at that time. Plus, I do plan to stay part time with Disney even after finding a teaching job.

But thanks again, exalen, for being a voice of reason. I really appreciate it

The Date: Details

I finally have some time to sit down and post about my time with Matty. I have a feeling that this post is going to be a rather long one, since many of you wanted DETAILS about what happened. So I think I'm going to bore you guys with the nitty gritty details that you asked for! So I suggest you go and get yourself a snack to eat and a drink while reading this, because who knows how long it'll take you to finish. :P

So in my post "Tuesday's Plans Expanded" I explained that instead of only coming down for bowling and burgers, Matty would come early in the day to have ramen for lunch, Disneyland during the day, and then bowling and burgers. That post was me freaking out about finding things to talk about with our extended date. Well, if you also read the comments in that post, I actually posted an extra update. Well, to explain, the weather forecast for Tuesday was rain. And in the area that Matty lives in, the high desert, it means that there would be snow. And when there's snow, the roads going out of his town and towards my area would be closed. Basically, neither of us wanted to postpone our date, so I asked if he would like to join my friends and me in a Nintendo Wii party that I was throwing at my place. He would stay over at my place after the party, and then we could go about our date the next day. He agreed that it would be a good idea.

Well, he came to the party on Monday night. He actually got to my apartment early while I was still at work, so he just kept himself company in his car for two hours. I felt so bad to have made him wait like that! When I got home, he was bundled up inside his car and sleeping. I called him to wake him up and he had this cute "just woke up" face. Thankfully, it wasn't an awkward meeting. I offered to help him carry stuff up to the apartment and we talked about his drive down here. Prior to meeting him, we had been texting and he mentioned he hadn't eaten anything, so I offered to make him a grilled cheese sandwich when he got to my place. So once we both got settled in, I made him his sandwich. He seemed to like it, because he asked for a second one. :)

Pretty soon, my friends showed up for the party. One by one, they came in, and I introduced them to Matty. My friends weren't nosy about how I knew him and who exactly he was until later in the night... I'm glad my friends aren't nosy like that, or else it would've been awkward for me. But Matty got along great with them. He joined in on some of the games, but didn't hog the time. I spent my night close to him, making sure he wasn't feeling left out or anything, while still being a good host to my other friends. Towards the end of the party, some of them DID ask who exactly Matty was, to which I just answered that he was a friend of a friend. They didn't pry. Some of them actually don't know that I'm gay... or at least, I haven't explicitly told them that I'm gay, but I think they all assume that I am. (At Disney, the assumption is that you're gay unless proven straight. lol)

By 2am, only about 7 people remained at the party, and we were all tired. So they all left and Matty and I were left alone in the apartment. I sat next to him on the couch for a bit asking how he was and if he had fun. We just had a bit of small talk.. don't remembe exactly what we talked about but conversation did seem to flow easily. After a bit, I told him that I wanted to shower before I went to bed since I had a long day of work before. So I got up to get my stuff ready for a shower. He stood up as well and proceeded to the "bedroom." (I live in a studio apartment, so the living room and the bedroom is pretty much the same room, but I placed my entertainment center in the middle of it to section off the two "rooms")

He sat on my bed and kinda made fun of how small it was. I only have a twin bed because I kept my bed from my college years, where space was limited and we didn't have room for bigger beds. I told him that I spent a lot of money on the bed and that I liked how comfortable it is, so I never traded it for a bigger bed. He then wanted to test how comfortable it was for himself, so he laid down on it. I kinda took that hint and went over and sat on the edge of the bed to talk to him. I then propped myself up at the head of the bed and had my legs up on the bed, while Matty was lying face down on the bed next to me. We stopped talking for a bit, both of us were tired, and so I ran my fingers through his soft hair. He seemed to like it because he didn't move. Then he picked up his arm and wrapped it around my legs. We stayed that way for a while as we both dozed off a bit. I then moved my arm to make myself a little more comfortable, at which point he looked up, and grabbed me and pulled me down so that I would join him laying down. We were face to face when he told me that I was cute. :) And then he moved in for the kiss.

We kissed for a good few minutes. We explored each other's bodies as we made out. He would slide his hand beneath my shirt and feel my chest and I would reach under his shirt and run my fingers up and down his back. All the while, I was developing a boner and it was pushing up against my jeans. As I explored his body, I let arm brush up against his crotch area a few times and I could tell that he was getting hard as well. After a few more minutes, he looks at me and tells me that he's ready to take a shower and that he didn't want to take it alone. So I said, "OK!"

We go to the shower and we strip. He was definitely already hard. He has a nice cut, 7.5-ish dick. I didn't measure and I didn't ask, so it's just a rough estimate. We jump into the shower and I immediately have a good time. I don't know if I've ever said anything about this, but fooling around in the shower is one of my recurring fantasies. So having the shower be our first sexual activity together was definitely a major turn on.

So a little description of Matty: He's 19 years old and around 5'11". He's a skinnier boy, but he definitely has a small tummy... it's kinda cute ;) but I do usually find guys with a more toned and muscular body to be hotter. He's sort of an emo kid, longer hair that goes over his eyes (after he straightens it, because he has naturally curly/wavy hair) and again, I don't usually go for the emo guys... but I'm sure Mirrorboy would LOVE Matty. ;)

In the shower, we continue to make out and jerk each other off. He then takes charge a little and kinda spreads my legs with his legs as we're kissing, and I took the hint that he wanted me to go down on him. Have I told you guys that I've only blown one other guy before? This was only going to be my second time giving a BJ. I was a little nervous, but I just went for it. He seemed to like it. After a while, he motioned for me to get back up. And then he got down and sucked me off for a bit. It felt great to be under the running water and getting a BJ. HOT!! When he got back up, he continued to take charge. He turned me around and pushed me up against the shower wall. He grabbed both my hands and placed them on the wall as he grinded his dick against my ass. Omg, that was seriously hot. I'm getting hard right now just thinking about it. He pushed his body up against mine and let his cock just slide between my ass cheeks and continued pumping himself like that. He then reached around and started jerking me off hard and fast while he grinded against me. We both came pretty much at the same time. Damn, it was so fun!! I love shower fun!! ;)

We cleaned up and got out of the shower. We then got ready for bed and he told me that he was going to have to share my tiny bed with him now. ;) I didn't object. We cuddled in bed, him holding me, as we both fell asleep. In the middle of the night, we kinda shifted positions, and it wasn't the best night's sleep because my bed is so damn small, but it was still comfy to know that he was next to me.

The next morning, we woke up at around 9:30am and got ready to go have ramen at this restaurant that my friends and I go to all the time. We arrived and saw that they didn't open for another 45 minutes.. so I decided that we should go to the nearest shopping center (South Coast Plaza) to walk around a bit and do some window shopping. During this time, we had some conversations about TV shows, most prominently Heroes. We're both Heroes fans and we got into some discussions about the plot of the series and our favorite super hero powers. :) I was glad that I could be geeky with him. We continued the conversations when we sat down for food. Again, not much awkward silences or anything. I think it was a good balance of me asking questions and him asking questions too. :) I was happy that it was going smoothly.

Since we got to ramen early, we also ended lunch early, so we drove back to my apartment to unwind a bit before I had to go to work. And when I say unwind, I mean we got to laying on the bed again. And when in bed, we both got horny. ;) Pretty soon, we were both naked and grinding up against each other. After a bit of that, I couldn't wait any longer and I went to grab a condom and lube. He quickly put the condom and lube on. I laid on my back and he threw my legs up in the air. Ok, so reminder that I hadn't had sex since Jamie in September... so I was a bit nervous about how much it would hurt. Well, thank goodness he used a good amount of lube. He slid inside me without too much trouble and he went slowly at first (thank goodness). There was some pain at first, but it soon subsided a bit. But I guess he was a little bigger than I thought because everytime he thrust deep inside me, I felt pressure inside. It was a little bit of pain... discomfort, I guess. But depending on the position of my legs in the air, it felt better. I don't know, is that normal? Should I be feeling that pressure/discomfort? hopefully some of you can help answer that for me?

Anyway, there was more pleasure than there was pain. And I enjoyed him fucking me deep and hard. I'm pretty sure I was pretty vocal during sex. Lots of moaning to be heard by my neighbors. LOL. It really felt good. I told him to go faster, and he did, and pretty soon we both came one right after the other. Oh it was great! Too bad it didn't last longer because I had to get to work!

I then dropped him off at Disneyland while I went to work. He watched me perform in all my parades. But he was alone the whole time, just exploring the park by himself. I did have 1.5 hours where I accompanied him in the park (during my lunch break). We went shopping for some Christmas gifts for his cousin (since I get a good discount). While shopping, there was this really cute Tigger and Eeyore doll that doubles as a pillow. We both it was so cute.. especially the Eeyore. He's one of my favorite characters. ;) He asked my opinion of whether he should get Tigger or Eeyore, so of course I tell him Eeyore. Such a soft pillow Eeyore makes!

After 8 hours in the park, I finally pick him up and we go off to the bowling alley. We get inside and get our rental shoes and our lane. So the first game, Matty did well. He started off strong, with some spares and strikes. I on the other hand was sucking real bad and guttered my first two frames. I got a few pins towards the end. First game results: Matty-111, Doug-68. I was hating life, but I was still having fun. I was more embarrassed than anything, cuz I totally wanted to be good at it! Well, second game came along, Matty didn't start off very good. I think he got only one or two pins the first two frames. I, on the other hand, started to get the hang of it and was doing better. I picked up a few spares and even some strikes. Matty continued to do poorly and kept guttering. Each time he guttered, he got real frustrated. He would walk back after a gutter and I would try to cheer him up. But he seemed really pissed off. After his turns, he would stand in the back, with his arms folded. I asked if he was ok, and he would only give one word answers. It was obvious that we weren't going to play another game. Not with this attitude.

Let me just say that at this point, I was REALLY turned off by his attitude. I understand being frustrated about not doing well in the game. I mean, I wasn't doing all that well in the first game either! But I played it off and just kinda laughed at how horrible I was. But he couldn't do that. And it just shows that he's a bit young and immature for me. I just couldn't get over the fact that he was pouting and not talking to me. I mean, he's on a date. No matter how pissed off he really is, wouldn't you think he'd at least fake it and cheer up a little?... sigh...

We paid for the games and walked back to the car. Virtually silent the whole time. We agreed to still go grab burgers (In-N-Out) since we had talked about it and made plans for that beforehand. The whole car ride to the restaurant was silent. I couldn't get him to talk. We ordered and drove it back to my apartment. STILL quiet. Got back to the apartment, decided to put in the musical episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer (since we had talked about it in our earlier chats). FINALLY, when the episode started, did he start to open up again. As we ate, he finally loosened up. And pretty soon, we were singing along to the songs and sharing our favorite moments in the episode.

It was just unfortunate that I had to see that side of him. But I guess it's a good thing that I got to see it sooner rather than later. It gives me a better judgement of who he really is. Well, as the episode went on, we finished our food (YUMMY) and I went to get ready for bed, since it's been a long day for the two of us. When I got out of the bathroom, Matty had turned off all the lights and was lying on the couch watching the rest of the episode. I went over and joined him, lying on top of him. We stayed in that position and made out for a bit.

Then he got up and led me over to the bed where we continued to make out. Again, our clothes came off soon after that. Next thing I know, I was on top and straddling him. I grinded my ass against his cock a bit, and finally decided to go and grab those condoms and lube again. I put the condom on him and lubed him and me up good. I then slowly sat on his dick, letting it go all the way in. Again, I felt that pressure towards the end, but when I would lean forward or back a certain way, the discomfort was gone. So I tried to stay in the more pleasureable positions. After a bit of riding him, I told him that I wanted him to fuck me from behind. I had never had that before so I definitely wanted to try it. And OMG, did it feel good. He got behind me and pounded me GOOD. I, again, was pretty loud. Neighbors probably weren't happy. ;) My head was knocking up against the wall too. HAHA. He came inside me (in his condom, of course), but I didn't cum. I wanted to get in the shower and finish there.

So we both jumped in the shower and I had him give my dick some attention in there. I had him jerk me off and suck me. Then I had him sit down in the tub as I stood over him. I thrust my dick in his mouth for a bit, then I pulled out and started to jerk myself off. He was also hard again and ready to come again (ah... to be 19 again....). We basically came together again. Another amazing shower ;)

We went to bed in each other's arms again. Felt nice to be hld while falling asleep. Definitely something that I missed. The next morning, we decided on Dennys for lunch before he had to pack up and get back home. However, conversation at Dennys was a bit harder. I don't know what it was. Perhaps what happened the night before at the bowling alley was affecting how I perceived him. But I definitely felt that there was less in common between us. Again, I think the incident at the bowling alley just made me realize that I needed someone more mature. However, we still had a nice meal together and went got back to the apartment with a bit of time to spare before I had to get to work.

Being the hornball that I am though, I started to mess around again, and got the two of us hard and horny. I told him that I wanted a quickie before I had to go to work. (I'm such a slut, aren't I??) Well, I wanted him to fuck me from behind again. This time felt even better than last time. Again, a little discomfort, but I found a position where it felt good. Again, hard right now just thinking about it! We finished together and got cleaned up.

We quickly packed everything up. And as we were about to leave, he picked up the Eeyore that he had bought and had been sleeping with and handed it to me and said, "Merry Christmas." I was surprised by that. I told him that he really should...that he should keep it for himself. Well, he insisted I take it since I looked like I really wanted it when he bought it. So I accepted it and thanked him for being such a sweetheart. It was actually the only real Christmas present that I got this year. So it kinda means a lot.

We said our goodbyes. It was a bit rushed because I really had to get to work. But we told each other that we would keep texting the rest of the day. And that we did. And are still doing. This morning, he actually told me that he thinks that we should date. I was a little put off and worried about the implications of that text. So I straight up replied and told him that I didn't want anything to serious right now and that I just wanted to see where things go between the two of us. Well, that was what he meant by "dating" .. nothing official or anything. Just hanging out with each other and stuff. So I told him I was happy we are both on the same page and that I would love to see him again some time.

Yes, Matty is a bit young and immature at times, he's still a sweetheart and a cute kid. I just don't want that one incident at the bowling alley to be the deciding factor... so I'm going to see him again and see how it goes. We are planning to see each other around New Years. He's coming down to the area with a friend and I think he'll stop by for the night again or something. We've also been texting each other back and forth. I can tell that he's interested in me ;) Tonight, he wanted to make sure that I was home from work and comfy before we went to bed. I thought that was really cute and sweet of him. :) I asked why he was being so damn cute, and he tells me it's because he's trying to woo me. HAHA. I told him that it might be working a little :P

Wow, is anyone still reading this? And did you really read all of it? Cuz this was like an essay. I'm sure it's like 5 pages of writing in a word processor. LOL. I just wanted to make sure I wrote out everything, since you guys asked for it. And plus, it's my way to keep a log of what happened in my life. I mean, I did start this blog as a sort of online journal for myself. So I guess the more detailed the better, for my own purposes. And if that satisfies you guys, then all the better ;)

But do any of you have any advice? Comments? I would love to hear what you guys think of Matty from what I've written here. And I would love to get your opinions on how I should proceed with him. My big thing right now is our age difference and his maturity level. Is that a big deal for you guys?

Well, hope everyone had a great Christmas... now looking forward to what the new year brings us all.

Tuesday's Plans Expanded

So after I posted my last entry, the boy I'm seeing on Tuesday (Matty) and I chatted even more. Our conversation got into food and I told him that I LOVE Japanese food. He tells me that he also loves Japanese food and Asian cuisine in general. MAJOR points right there ;) So I ask him about Ramen. No, not Top Ramen or the kind of the ramen you make yourself at home from a tiny orange package. Ramen, as in the real kind where they make it for you in a restaurant and have amazing soup bases. He tells me that he's had Ramen before and that he LOVES it. Well, it seriously is one of my favorite foods, and my friends and I go all time. So I tell him that we should definitely go have Ramen together some time. He agrees.

And then he gets a bright idea about Tuesday. He wanted to know if I would want to get Ramen early in the day for lunch before I went to work. And then I can let him into Disneyland and then leave for bowling together after my work. He lives pretty far, so driving down just to go bowling from 10:30pm on wasn't ideal. So he wanted to make a full day out of it. Well, of course I agreed because Ramen is amazing and it would be fun to spend more time with him. :)

Well, this morning came, and the reality of that sort of sunk in. Him coming earlier in the day means more time that I would have to spend trying to start conversation. I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I am not a conversation starter. In fact, I don't really like to talk too much. I'm a very quiet, reserved person. If I'm asked to speak or asked to explain something, I'll do it, but mostly in the least amount of words possible. So, thinking about spending more time with him is sort of freaking me out.

To make matters a little worse, I spent over an hour on the phone with him tonight. Well, normally, talking on the phone is not a bad thing. In fact, it should be a GREAT thing because we've more on from texting to actual conversation on the phone. BUT, the bad thing was there definitely was a lot of awkward silences. See... a lot of that was due to us both being tired. We had first gotten on the phone because he was driving home after dropping his friends off at their houses. He told me he was real tired, so I told him that he could call me to keep him awake while driving. So he did, and I got him talking in the beginning. But after a while, conversation started to whither away... and those awkward silences crept in. I tried so hard to start conversations... just about ANYTHING.. I just said what came to my head. But both us would start the conversation but then end it abruptly and then silence came again.. Like I said, I really don't know if it was because we're both tired or just because I suck at keeping conversations.

I just REALLY REALLY hope that this doesn't happen when we see each other face to face. When he gets here, the drive to Ramen is a good 30 minutes. How awkward would it be if the car ride was just silent? :( And then eating at the restaurant. Will I be able to come up with topics to discuss and things to say there? And then there's the ride back too!... I think this early addition to the "date" is really screwing with me. Because at bowling, we're engaged in an activity so it'll be easy to keep things going. But in a car and at a meal, that's where it gets tough for me!!

I don't want to make a bad impression.... I need some pointers.. advice.. HELP!

More Financial Woes

To add salt to the wound, our managers announced to us today that the parade that we perform in during the normal year (the non-Christmas times) has been CANCELED. So I officially don't have a job starting January 5th unless I get Wells Fargo, or they find me something to do elsewhere within the Resort.... GREAT....

Christmas @ Disneyland!

Isn't Small World so beautiful for the holidays?? Don't you wish you were here with me?! LOL.

Christmas Starts Today! (at least for me, it does!)

You guys have no idea how excited I am for today. Today marks the beginning of Christmas for me! :)

"Dude, it's not even Thanksgiving yet. Why the hell are you already celebrating Christmas?!"

HAHA - well, I'm glad you ask that. TODAY will be my first performance to the public in the Christmas parade at work! I'm so freakin excited, you have NO idea. I LOVE this damn parade. I'm such a big nerd... and a big gay! AJ asked me tonight: "Your mom knows you dance in a parade at Disney... but doesn't know you're gay?" LOL. In all honesty, she probably knows but just doesn't want to see it... and I don't really want to clarify it for her either. Not yet, anyway.

Back on topic!: The Christmas parade is soooo freakin' magical. I just love it! The music is amazing and the dancing is so fun. I can't contain my happiness right now! WEEE!! I just wish that all of you can experience it in person! I know at least one of you will be seeing it soon - and hopefully it doesn't disappoint. But if anyone is planning on visiting The Happiest Place on Earth this holiday season, PLEASE let me know! I would love to say hi to you while I dance down Main Street! HAHA.

So here's a video of me! I'm so glad I found this. I had never seen this one before but it's ME for like.. 30 seconds! So you first see me at 1:03, coming towards the camera from the background. I'm the guy in the white chef's outfit, dancing next to the Gingerbread Cookie. And I stay in view until 1:28! How fun! I might look a little... tired... cuz this is at the end of the parade route. But that's really no excuse... I'm pretty disappointed in my performance right there actually.



And yes, I'm in a wig and have a fake mustache on. That's not what I actually look like. Although that wig is pretty cool... would LOVE long hair like that. And auburn hair. HAHA. Yeah, they gave the auburn wig to the Asian. LOL.

If I find a better video of me, I'll definitely post it. And I definitely plan on getting video of myself in my new role soon. And I'll most definitely post that! But if you want a preview of what that part is, it's from 8:00 - 8:23 in the video. I'll be one of those guys dressed in the green "pimp" outfits. LOL :)

Back To Normal

So I finally got a good 8 hours of sleep last night and I feel more refreshed. Yesterday night was the premiere of my project. It was a video that I made for work because our parade was closing to make way for the Christmas parade this season. So my managers had asked me to whip up a video to show during our cast party. So that's what took 2 sleepless nights to complete. The end result was still not my best work, but they showed it to the cast, and I had nothing but good comments about it. So that made me feel happy. :)

Now about my cousin staying over... yesterday, I get a voicemail from him: "Hey, text me your address when you have time." I seriously did NOT want him to stay over. So here's our text conversation:

Me: You're still coming over? I have work til late tonight. You know I only live in a studio apartment right?
(You guys get that I dropped a bunch of hints there right??)

Cousin: Yeah. That's cool. How late are you gonna be? I'm still at work so I can continue to work.
(OMG, is he just stupid?)

Me: We're off at 845 but we have a cast party afterwards. I dunno how late that's gonna be til.

Cousin: Oh really? Like usually after 12?

Me: Ok well. Probably not that late but I don't know.
(I finally decide to just honest now)

Me: I think I'm ok to have you stay like a night or two or something but I'm not sure about a whole week. I'm just used to living alone now.

Cousin: K. I'll just stay over some other day.

Well, he's not staying over anymore. But I still don't think he gets the hint that I don't want him to stay at all. LOL. I really feel like he's going to go "tattletale" to my mom. And then my mom will probably ask me about it and why I didn't want him to stay over. That's so frustrating that he just invited himself over to my place.

And plus, if he stayed over for a week, how am I supposed to bring random guys up to my apartment?? LOL! Just kidding! ..... or am I??

EDIT: So I'm at home with family tonight and I KNEW my mom would say something about my cousin. I guess she doesn't see why I don't want him to stay for more than one or two days. She doesn't think that 2 weeks would be too long. But I don't think she gets that if he stays over on the couch, then I'm trapped by my bed for the whole night. I know for SURE that I will be sleeping later than him. I wouldn't be able to watch TV if he's on the couch. It's just a big inconvenience for me....

SMILE, tears, Protest/Date

Man my day was a long one yesterday. Started the day out early (7am) and got to work by 8am to pretty much wait around for 4-5 hours. At least I got paid during this time. Finally, at 1pm, they were ready for us and I "took the stage." They were filming for the Walt Disney World Christmay Day Parade special that airs on ABC on Christmas Day. I think I got some good camera time. Depends on if they edit me out or not... but I guess you can try and look for me. ;)

After that, I had to rush home quickly to get changed for my friend's wedding. OH, I mentioned her before. "Oh-Girl" = Rachel. Got to the Korean temple right at 3:55 and the ceremony started at 4:00. It was such a beautiful ceremony. When she walked down the aisle, I couldn't help but tear up. She looked BEAUTIFUL and was soo happy. I can just see the glow from her face. And just knowing that these two people loved each other so much that they were willing to show everyone in attendance their love - it just made me cry. And as they held each others hands up there, and repeatd their vows, I cried again. And it was pretty bad. Like tears down my face and snot coming out of my nose... (ok that was gross). But you get the idea. How embarassing... But I was genuinely happy for the two. What did upset me a little was the Officiant talking about marriage between a man and a woman, and how that was intended by God. Just didn't want to think about all the Prop 8 drama at that time, but of course it was inevitable. I really just wanted to be there and be happy for my two friends. Thankfully, I was able to let the drama go and just enjoy the wedding.

The reception was great. Very laid back, buffet style. And Robin, Rachel's HUSBAND!, created the slideshow - and it was the most amazing slideshow that I haThe d EVER seen!! It was seriously SOOO good! Awesome transitions and great music. OMG! I want to know what program he used because I'm making a slideshow for work and mine looks like 1st grade crap compared to his. ARGH!!! I neeeeed to find out what he used.

I left the wedding around 7:15pm or so. I gave my date, George, a call to tell him that I'm leaving the wedding to go home and get dressed to see if he still wanted to do anything. This was the first time I was hearing his voice because we had only conversed online and in texts before. He sounded like a sweet guy. He asked if instead of going out to a movie if I wanted to help out the community instead. Of course, he was talking about the No on Prop 8 protests that have been going on all around the Greater Los Angeles area. I said, SURE. I thought it would be fun. My first protest of any kind ever! Bound to be an interesting time.

So I got home, got dressed. TOTALLY nervous, by the way. Haven't been on a date in forever. However, this wouldn't really count as one, since we were going out to a protest... not the most romantic thing ever. So I had posted on Facebook that I was "really nervous" as my status. My friend from work, Kelly, IMs me on AIM to ask me why.

Kelly: What are you nervous about?

Doug: I have a date.

Kelly: Ooooh. When?

Doug: Like soon. Tonight.

Kelly: May I ask with whom?

Doug: yeah, but I don't think you know him...

Kelly: Oh, ok. Haha what are you two lovebirds doing?

Doug: um, we're going to the Silverlake protest, I guess. How's that for a first date huh?

Kelly: Haha.

Well... it goes on after that. We just talk about the No on Prop 8 stuff. And then I casually thank her for being so cool with it. Well, again... it was online... jeez... but she is the first girl and first straight person that I've told. However, she's a big fan of the gays. So I had no problems telling her. In fact, everyone at work is a big fan of the gays... so I really have no problems telling people at work anymore. I just don't want to jump around work and yell "I'm GAY!" or whatever... but if people find out, then cool. I don't care about that anymore. :)

So, George picks me up around 8:30? 8:45? I get in the car. Nice looking white guy. He's 27, so a little older than me. I get in and we shake hands. lol. He offered first. I guess it's sort of hard to hug when he's in the car driving. And we drive off to Los Angeles. Long drive. And it was what I dreaded most. You see... I'm not a talkative person. And it tends to get even worse when I'm nervous and with people that I don't know. So I was just hoping that he would be a really talkative person and ask lots of questions. Unfortuantely, it wasn't like that and there were quite a few awkward silences. sigh.... Weird. But we still had some conversations about what we do, where we went to school, blah blah. The usual. But the more I found out, the less I was interested in him. That kinda sucked.

He's a waiter and a bartender. But he's not going to school. I can relate to having a job that you like and not wanting to move on... but I also believe an education is quite important. He also had a noticeable lisp. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I just couldn't date anyone with a lisp. It may very well be a legitimate speech impediment for him, but I just can't disassociate lisps with super gay. And I'm not looking for anyone that's over the top gay. He wasn't over the top, but he was definitely over my comfort line. Don't get wrong, I LOVE my gay friends. And that's what they are, my good friends. But I would never date them.

So we got to the area where the protest was supposed to be happening. Unfortunately, we saw a lot of people walking on the sidewalk in random clumps. He rolled down the window to ask one of them about it and she said that the cops kinda broke it up and people were leaving. She said they MAY still be protesting but it would be all the way down the street now. So we drove a little while longer looking for it, but then decided to give up. We did honk and cheer for the people still walking on the sidewalks though. That was fun. :)

We drove out to West Hollywood and decided on Fiesta Cantina. I ordered a rum and Coke.. but they had a special on doubles, so they made mine a double and that was a BIG mistake.. The drink was like, a drop of Coke so that it would be the color of Coke, but then everything else was rum... I took a sip and already knew I would be in trouble. We walked upstairs to the patio, where we bump into ond of his "Alternative Lifestyle Assistants." LOL. That's his term for "fag hag." Guess he wants to trademark it. She is this loud, big, black woman. FUNNY but TALKS forever. So basically, I was there, with George, the girl, and her gay friend. Apparently, they used to work at Disney too. Super small world. Or I guess all of Disney just decides to hang out at WeHo. But she talks up a storm and it's basically her talking the whole night. I sit there, just listening, hardly talking. Because, remember.. I don't do well with new people. George sort of tries to include me in some conversation, but I don't make it easy on him. I'm such a horrible date.

I take sips out of my rum and Coke. But the strong taste isn't really doing well for me. So I try to take bigger gulps and just have it slide down my throat fast. Guess that was a REALLY bad idea. And then the girl and her friend is smoking and its getting all in my face. People around me are smoking, and I start getting a headache. OY... Bad all around. After a while, these three guys come up and talks to us. Introduces themselves as Corey, Grant, and Sarah Palin. Yeah... Sarah Palin. He continues to impersonate Palin the whole night... and HORRIBLY might I add. I have no idea what he was doing. Stupid drunk gay. But Corey was real cute. Tall, skinny but not too skinny, buzzed head, and just good looking. ;) I felt horrible checking him out while I was on a date... but George wasn't really being a good date either I guess. After a while of talking, Corey and his group decide to leave the bar to go to the clubs. The Alternative Lifestyle Assistant also decides to go to a different bar with her friend. So George and I decide that we should go too.

By the way, I've only had 1/4 of the glass of rum and Coke. I get up to walk out of the bar... and I seriously could NOT walk in a straight line for the first few steps. LOL. I make my way down the stairs without stumbling and I walk out the bar as I pass by several REALLY hot guys. We walk back towards the car and the fresh air away from the smoke really helped. I felt a little better, but I still had a headache and started to get this feeling in my stomach that was NOT good.

We started driving back and I could NOT stay awake. It was horrible. And I felt like I needed to throw up so I really wanted to just pass out and sleep it off. But then, I noticed him kinda swerving and not staying in the lanes. And I was like, "You alright?" He tells me he got real tired all of a sudden. And we still had about a 30 minute drive. So I was seriously holding on for dear life as he almost got into an accident about 4 times. Woke me up right away! I tried to keep him talking. I asked him questions. And I tried to create conversations. But he wasn't really helping me. I was scared for my life. All the while wanting to throw up.

So we finally get off the freeway after being completely scared out of my mind. He gets to the intersection and he tries to turn left, and I was like, "Oh, I'm to the right." And right after I said that, I realized that he wanted to take me back to his place. Ooops. I kind of felt bad. But really, I didn't feel up to anything AT ALL. I wanted to throw up at that point and I just needed to get home. He drops me off, and I give him a hug and a kiss of the cheek. I tell him I'd give him a call some time. I get out of the car, say goodnight and tell him to text me when he makes it home safely, and shut the door.

I didn't end up throwing up or anything. A nice warm shower helped. But that was my first date! Not the best date ever.... I can see him being a good friend, but nothing more than that. Just not my type, really. But I'm glad I made the effort to get out there. Hopefully there will be more prospects for me soon.

My (Gay) Day Off

Wow I think I might have had one of the gayest days of my life today.

I started the day wanting to get a Mystic Tan (those fake spray tans). This is in preparation for Halloween because I don't want to have a farmers tans on my arms or, worse, white legs! So I exfoliated and moisturized my body to get ready for the tanning. Then I called up the tanning place and asked about the whole process and she let me know that the tans last up to 3-5 days.. hm. Well, my parties aren't until Friday and Saturday, so it would be too early to get it today. So then I decided against going. But STILL, I exfoliated! and moisturized!

And then I went and ran some errands with Jon. We went to the new Target store that they built down the street from where we live. I went in and could NOT remember what I needed to buy. I walked out with deodorant and tweezers. Yes, TWEEZERS. lol. Oh, it gets gayer.

We then drove down to Best Buy because I've been wanting this DVD for a while now: Celine Dion, A New Day (her show in Vegas). Sigh. Yes, I'm a big closet Celine fan. She's amazing, and you all know it. Bought the DVD for $16.99, and then Jon and I decided that we wanted to continue our gay day and watch a movie in the theaters. What movie, you ask? Going along with the theme of the day, you MAY have guessed it already... Yes, folks... High School Musical 3: Senior Year!



It actually was REALLY enjoyable. I'm a little bias because I work for Disneyland and everything. But, I liked it a lot. Really entertaining and the dancing was real good. Can't wait until it comes out on DVD!

After the movie, I drove back to my apartment, invited Miles over, and we watched the Celine DVD. Amazing singing. Amazing choreography. Amazing stage. Amazing everything. Celine Dion is .... I can't believe I'm using this word ... FIERCE! But the perfect word to sum up my incredibly gay day. And I loved every minute of it. :)

The Wedding

So Saturday was the wedding. Here's the previous update on the wedding if you haven't read the drama. Our friends decided to just go and make the best out of the night and just go with the flow. A bunch of us got together at my apartment to get ready and have some wine before we left for the ceremony. Here we are all dressed up and ready to go

(left to right) Bethany, Miles (Milo), Katy, me, N

There I am second from the right with my white shirt, black tie, black coat, blank pants, and CHARCOAL grey vest. I must say I looked spiffy. And all my friends agreed. Made me feel a little better about myself.

And by the way, I'm just going to stop thinking of nicknames or aliases for my friends because they're not going to find my blog and it's too much of a hassle thinking of and remembering aliases for all the people I want to talk about. So unless their name is super unique, I won't be using initials or aliases anymore. Ok.. now back to the wedding.

Like I said, we had some wine, and then drove over to the Disneyland Hotel, where the ceremony was being held. And being the cheesy performers that we are, we decided to have a photo shoot as we walked down the parking lot.

Aren't we the biggest nerds ever? We gotta work on our modeling skills, even though it does look like Miles is definitely ready for catalog already. We walk into the waiting area and we immediately start looking at what everyone is wearing. TUX MY ASS! Not one person was wearing a tux or anything resembling a tux. Not even the fathers. They were all wearing their nice suits and a nice black tie. Not a bowtie. A regular tie. What the heck was Drew (DarkD) smoking?! So now we're definitely dressed for the part - must say we all looked REAL good compared to many others.

Then it was time to walk over to the Rose Gardens. One of the wedding coordinators is our friend that we work with and she informed us that the floral designer was the same guy who designed Eva Longoria and Tony Parkers wedding!! And you can definitely see that Drew and Colin ([Fiance]) spent that money in these pictures.



The wedding was really touching. They had some family members come up and do some readings of poems about love and marriage. But it was a good length of time, so not boring, and it was just a beautiful setup. I wish their microphones were turned up a little higher though because I couldn't really hear them too well. But they made their vows and sealed them with a kiss. And we all clapped and were happy for them.

We were walked over to the Grand Californian Hotel and had some hors d'oeurves before we were let into the reception hall. Those appetizers were SO good. I ate it all and had seconds and thirds. I'm such a fat bitch....

After eating all that, we sat down at our table and they announced the entrance of the two grooms. It was dark but I tried to take some pictures. I think it actually turned out nicely because the light and the shadows on them in the picture makes it look cool. See for yourself.

Colin (left) and Drew (right)

The food was absolutely exquisite and scrumptious! They had mixed greens with a creamy balsamic vinegarette. And the main dish was a NY Strip Steak that was seasoned and cooked to perfection in a mustard Merlot sauce. Wow! After dinner, we of course got on the dance floor and partied it up. Drew and Colin came up to us and we all congratulated them. Drew gave me a big hug and told me that I looked good. THAT'S RIGHT I look good! Glad he acknowledged it. So I forgave him for all the douche-iness.

Bethany and me, having fun on the dance floor

It was a late wedding. The ceremony started at 7:30pm and so we didn't leave the reception until 12am. Exhausted and slightly drunk, Miles and N stayed over at my place and we all conked out real quick.

The next day, we lounged around my apartment for a good part of the morning and early afternoon. We finally decided to make use of our day around 3:00pm and head out to Disneyland for a fun day NOT working. We watched our friends in the parades and then went on a few rides. As we were waiting for the first parade, we saw Drew and Colin on the opposite side of the street and we yelled for them and waved hi. Drew runs across the street and starts talking to us. But Colin was apparently too good for us to attempt to cross the street. He stood on the other side with his snobby collar popped on his snobby baby blue polo shirt and his snobby bermuda shorts. Didn't even wave Hi to us. Just looked down at his Blackberry and attempted to look busy. Drew promised us that he'd call us after the parade, but guess what?... he never did.

I have a feeling that we've officially lost one of our good friends...

As Promised...

Here's the other side of the jack-o-lantern! Even cuter, right? And oh yeah, don't know those people... they just got in the way of my shot.

Wearing Red

As you may or may not know, I work for a big entertainment company in the Southern California region. And this post is pretty much going to give away where I work, so I might as well just say it. I work at The Happiest Place On Earth. And this weekend, Oct 3-5, is the unofficial Gay Days at Disneyland. For those of you who don't know, the Gay Days weekend happens every first weekend of October and is filled with activities, events, and parties within the Disneyland Resort for gays and lesbians. They are not sponsored by Disney in any way, but Disney does not stop it from happening either. I mean, come on, without the gays, Disneyland would be nothing. And all those joining the festivities wear red so that others will know who they are.

Unfortunately, I will not be in town on Saturday when they have an activity scheduled that would have given me some exposure if I was there, but I'll be there today and on Sunday. Maybe they'll be out at my work location(s) during these two days, because they're usually very fun, energetic, and excited to see us.

Anyway, on Sunday, I'm going to be off work early (because stupid Miley Cyrus is having her Sweet 16th birthday at the park in the nighttime), so Milo and I are planning on attending one of the activities planned in Disney's California Adventure Park. There's a screening of the movie Shelter, which is about a surfer dude who finds comfort in his best friend's gay older brother. I actually JUST watched it tonight with Milo and JW. It was a good movie. Very touching and sweet. Anyway, one of the actors from the movie, Brad Rowe, who plays the older brother, is going to be there for a Q&A after the screening. So Milo and I want to go and take a pic or two with him.

So my plan is to wear my red shirt on Sunday. Now EVERYONE knows about Gay Days and knows about the red shirt thing. So by wearing red that day, I'm pretty much going to be coming out to everyone at work. Of course, I can just tell people "Oh, I totally forgot about the whole red thing" and give my best confused face which I've been so good at faking throughout my closeted life... but I don't think I'll be hiding anymore. I know my friends at work will be completely fine with it and most likely even very supportive of it. I just have to be brave and actually do it. And if people ask, I will not lie. I'll be honest with them. I want to be. I have to be. I don't want to lie to my friends any longer. It's time for me to live my life as me.. the real me. Not to say that I'm not nervous, because just thinking about it right now my palms are getting clammy (maybe I should take up taking Xanax...), but I know it will be alright and it will be good. Wish me luck y'all.

Shameless Request for Lovin': Hey guys, I really like comments. If you're a blog writer, I'm sure you do too. So please gimme some lovin' and post a comment or two. Or write me an email! Also, you see the little thing directly to the right of this post that says "Followers (0)"... well that just makes me sad. Is noone using this new Blog Followers thing?? Alright... that's enough for my shamelessness (at least for another few days....)