Disney World Boys (Part 1)

It's about 3 weeks late, but I'm finally finding time to blog about Florida. It's been pretty crazy these past few weeks and I'll get to all that, but I wanted to blog about Florida (especially the boys) before I forget too much stuff. So here goes!

So I think I'm going to spare you all the details of my entire Disney World experience and just talk about what I assume you all want to read about: the boys :) Of course that's going to overlap with the vacation details, but I'll try not to write pages upon pages about it. Oh and there are several boys that I will be writing about.. hope you guys don't get confused about who is who. Use the labels at the bottom of the post to go to posts about the boys. LOL.

My flight left at 7am in Orange County, but I had a layover in Phoenix, AZ. While on the plane to Phoenix I was thinking about what I brought with me and how I packed everything within 4 hours of leaving my apartment. And then it hit me: I FORGOT TO PACK MY CONDOMS AND LUBE!! When I realized it, I was SOOOO pissed off. I seriously couldn't believe it. In Phoenix, I text Jon and tell him my unfortunate situation. Naturally, he laughs at me. He tells me to ask one of my boys to take me to the store or bring some themselves. Sigh... what an embarrassing situation. I seriously didn't want to ask them... and furthermore, did not know which boy to ask. I was to make this decision later.

So I arrive in Orlando International Airport at around 5pm or so and I text Bryan to let him know that I made it out there and excited to finally meet him. We made plans to meet each other at Epcot to watch the fireworks. On the way to the hotel, I also text Jamie, just to make sure he's still planning on meeting up with me this weekend when he's off work. I get a response from him saying that he has no plans this week and that he was all mine. ;-) That of course makes me happy. And then I decide that Jamie is to be the one I would ask about the condoms... Here is the text conversations:

Me: Hey um, this is awkward and I don't mean to be presumptuous, rather just safe, but is there anywhere you can take me to get some condoms and lube?... I forgot to pack them :(

Jamie: To the mega sex depot we go.

Me: Can I some new sex toys while we're there then? LOL.

I guess the situation wasn't as awkward or embarrassing as I thought it would be. ;) So then it's time to meet Bryan out in Epcot. I get there early and walk around by myself, in the horribly humid weather. And I do so in my jeans because my luggage had not arrived in my hotel room... So freaking hot - I was sweating like a pig!

Finally I get a text from Bryan telling me to meet him in front of Mexico. :) I hurry over and spot him right away since he's 6'4" or whatever he is. As I get closer I see that he's with his friend, Shannon. Not going to lie, I was a little bummed that she was there too, but I guess I totally understand since it was our first time meeting in person. What if I was a serial killer or something? He's just being cautious. LOL. And plus she was his ride.

So we watch the fireworks (which I love) and just kind of chat with each other. We didn't really get to talk one on one since Shannon was there, but it was still nice to meet him. After the fireworks, they just took me back to my hotel and we said goodnight. I didn't want to ask if he wanted to stay over -- cuz it would've sounded really slutty, especially when Shannon was there too. So I just let that go and went back to my hotel room. I spend some time texting Jamie just to chat with him before going to bed. Nothing too exciting, but I didn't invite him over that night because I made plans to meet up with Bryan and Tony the next day. So I go to bed early to get ready for the day to come.

Next day, I have Tony come pick me up at my hotel - the same Tony that stayed over at my apartment for a week and a half. He finally moved out to Florida again. So he and his brother pick me up and we go to Disney's Hollywood Studios.


There I am with Tony, and his brother Matt, clearly not interested in taking a picture with us. Tony is such a cute, good looking, hot guy. too bad he's straight. Oh well... I spend half of the day there at that park with Tony before Bryan gets off of work and comes to the park as well. We all hang out with each other for a bit and at around 6pm or so, I get a text from Jamie asking me: "What's for dinner?" I tell him where ever he'd like to take me and for him to come pick me up at Disney's Hollywood Studios. So at this point, I had to awkwardly tell both Tony and Bryan that I was meeting up with another friend of mine. Tony just kinda left quickly... I'm not sure if he was pissed off or what... Assuming that I'd find Jamie out by the parking lot, I walked to the exit of the the park with Bryan so that I can say goodbye to him there. However, Jamie was standing right at the exit waiting for me. A slightly awkward situation for me -- the two boys I'm trying to get with meet each other.

But I guess the two don't know any better and just assume that they're just normal friends of mine. Perhaps I'm just a really popular boy. :P They actually have a conversation with each other about working at Disney World and all. So another awkward situation that didn't turn out to be too awkward afterall.

So Jamie and I leave and I ask him to take me back to my hotel first so that I can shower and change. I had been sweating all day and it was just gross and didn't want our date to be gross. So he drives me back and when we park, I was glad to see that he packed his little suitcase of clothes, meaning he was definitely staying over for the weekend. :P

Oh I have to show you guys a picture of the hotel I stayed at: Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge. The lobby is GORGEOUS. I loved every part of the hotel... my room... my view of the animals from my room... the theme of the hotel... the pool. EVERYTHING. Look at the detail of everything in this picture!


I shower quickly, but I was half hoping that he would've opened the door and jumped in there with me. But I guess I was getting a little ahead of myself. That stuff will come soon enough. ;) So we get back in the car and he drives me to the same sushi place that we went to the last time I went to Florida to visit him. The sushi was AMAZING, of course. But the company was even better. We just sat and talked. I don't remember any awkward silent moments. I think it helps that Jamie likes to talk and that I like to listen.

After the yummy sushi, we drive for a little bit just for kicks and then head back to the hotel room. We decide that we want to go out to the pool for a swim, perhaps go relax in the jacuzzi. We get there and both jacuzzis were taken.. so we just played around in the pool for a while. It was late so the pool was a bit empty, so I got a bit courageous and got pretty close to him on several occasions. He looked so cute with his hair wet, half his body in the water.. It was just a good time spent together. We went back to check on the jacuzzis and they were finally open. The water was SOOO hot. But we get in anyway. We just talked about everything... work.. school.. Disney. I loved every part of it. And of course, we got even closer at the jacuzzi.. but of course not too close, since we WERE in the public at a Disney hotel. We finally can't take it anymore so we go back to the hotel room.

We sit on the bed together and watch some tv. After a bit of that, I couldn't hold it in any longer and just leaned over for a kiss. That kiss turned into a really long make out session. We then take each other's clothes off...

Ok, this post has gotten long enough.. and I'm only on Day 2. I think I better split these posts up. HEHE. Such a tease huh? I'm just getting tired and I want to be awake to write the sexy, steamy parts. I promise not to put this off. :)

Vacation Over

I'm sitting in the airport in Orlando right now, just pretty much depressed that my vacation is over. I had a GREAT time and there's lots to blog about. Just wish it didn't have to end. And I haven't had real internet durign my time here so I have so much to catch up on (emails, blogs). Gotta get back into the swing of things... school and work start back up right away. Sigh...

My Night

As I have said before, I write this blog because it's mainly a way for me to remember my life if I so choose to look back on it in the future. So I may sometimes go into details that you readers may not be all too excited to read. If that happens with this post, I apologize in advance. And also, I'm thinking the post is going to get pretty sexually explicit...

So it's 10:00pm, and I'm supposed to text Jason. I wait until 10:02, because I don't want to seem desperate by texting right at 10:00. lol. In no time, he responds by telling me that he's getting off work and that he can head over straight from there. So I give him my address and instructions on how to get in the apartment building. I'm freaking out now, because he's going to be here any minute. I had actually spent 2 or 3 hours beforehand cleaning up the entire apartment. I did all my dishes, wiped down the tables, cleaned the bathroom, dusted, took out the trash, made the bed, etc. And up until the the moment he came in the door, I was still trying to tidy things up. I even made popcorn to get ready for the movie. :P

I hear the knock on the door and I freak out, naturally. But I walk up to the door and open it. He's still in his work clothes: a blue buttoned up shirt, a blue pattern, and black slacks. He walks in and he comes in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. And thank goodness he did it because that was something else I was nervous about.. I didn't know if I should move in for a hand shake, a hug, a kiss.... so whew! He took care of that for me!

After he walked in the door, I feel like my butterflies went away. I just began to talk to him. And he was quite easy to talk to. I asked about work and his day. He did the same. As we talked, he got out the "Bedtime Stories" DVD, which I popped into the DVD. He got comfortable on my 3-seater couch, sitting on one side. I sat down in the middle seat, not too close to him, but close enough where we could be touching if we wanted to.

We let the movie start, but we were still talking about our day and other conversation starters. We just got to know each other better.. the basics I guess. If there were points in the movie that were worth discussing, we would talk about it. Our conversations were just very natural and I didn't need to try too hard to find things to talk about. THANK GOODNESS! Because, again, that was another thing that I was nervous about.

And YES, we did finish watching the movie all the way through. LOL. However, 3/4 of the way in, he said he wanted to put his feet up after a long day of work, so he laid himself across the couch, grabbed me and put his arms around me, and had me lie on top of him (not in a dirty way, guys!). I felt comfortable in his arms. And it was just cute how he made the excuse that his feet were tired. He could've just put his feet up on the table in front of him, so it was obviously an excuse to get closer to me. :)

After the movie, we decided to just watch some TV... still in the laying down position. but my neck was starting to bother me so I kinda stretched it a bit and it cracked a little. So Jason says, "Ouch, that sounds like you need a massage!" So he had me lie down face down as he got on top me (still not dirty yet, guys!). Then he says, "Well, you can't expect me to massage you with your shirt on though." So he had me take off my shirt as he proceeded to give me a really relaxing 10 minute massage. Then out of nowhere he started kissing up and down my back. Of course it felt nice. And the stubble on his face gave it a bit of new sensation as he kissed my body... I sort of liked it! Pretty soon, he was kissing up to my neck very sensually. I loved every minute of it. Finally, his kisses made it to my mouth and we made out for a while. Again the stubble felt funny, but kinda cool too.

And then he got me off the couch, stood me up, then picked me up, carried me over to my bed, and then threw me down on it. He climbed on top me (ok, this is where it gets dirty) and then took my clothes off. I was totally hard already, of course. He also took off his clothes to reveal his thick dick... completely hard as well. YUM. He started giving me head and it felt oh so good! Then he grabbed my feet, threw them up by my head, and then ate my ass and it felt oh so good!!

I didn't want that to end, but then he got up and had me follow him into the shower. And another point for him because I LOVE shower sex! I think it's so freakin' hot! I know he wanted to get in the shower because he didn't go home to wash up after work. So he was being really considerate and wanted to be clean. ANOTHER point. ;) After he soaped and rinsed, I couldn't go down on him fast enough. So I don't have too much blowjob experience, but I'm hoping I did a good job. I couldn't take all of him (I started to gag a bit) but I tried to use my tongue as much as possible, moved my head, used my hand... And there was a lot of moaning, so it had to feel sort of good right? Then I ate my very first ass. ;) That was fun because he REALLY liked it.

After the shower, we went back to the bed and continued with the sex. ;) We 69'ed, face fucked, ate ass... all very good! Then he started fingering my ass. And I was so tight... it was almost uncomfortable. It's been WAY too long... I knew he wanted to stick his dick in my butt... but I really didn't want that to happen for the first night. He was doing everything right... everything felt good... and I'm pretty sure he expected me to say, "Fuck me!" ... but I never did it. And after a while, he got the hint. So he just continued to give me great head. He then sat on my face, which took him over the edge. He blew his load all over my chest. Then he helped me along until I blew my load as well.

We got a towel and cleaned up a bit but just laid on the bed with each other for a bit. Just holding each other. So nice. I started running my hands/fingers up and down his body and he seemed to really like it. He said his skin gets really sensitive after he cums. So that just makes me want to do it more. He flips over and I run my hands up and down his back.. and down to his butt. THAT made him go crazy. And pretty soon he was all horny and hard again. I started to hump him, pretending to fuck him. He really responded to that. I pulled his hair, pulled his head back, and kissed him. I flipped him over again, grabbed his feet, put them over my shoulder and just "fucked" him like crazy. I was all sweaty again. Like dripping. The bed was squeaking, his head was hitting the wall behind him... I felt bad for my neighbors who were probably trying to sleep.

But all that made me hard again too, so he had me sit on his face. I couldn't believe it, but I blew another load, a huge one, all over his face. I then sucked him off until he blew his load too. God, writing about this just makes me hard right now. It was so awesome.

We laid on the bed for a while after... but then he started getting up. He said he just couldn't stay over and sleep in a bed that wasn't his own. But he kept telling me how sexy I am and that he didn't want to leave me. I think that was the first time in a long time that someone called me sexy straight to my face. And it was just so nice to hear. He started getting dressed, but stopped after putting on each article of clothing to give me a kiss. God, he's so damn cute. I opened the door, he gave me a big kiss goodbye, and then he walked out. I closed the door just thinking how fun the whole night was.

So, I really intended to just have a nice night of movie watching.. but I guess I also half expected things to go further. And I was ready and willing for that. About 15-20 minutes, I get a text from him. ANOTHER point for him! I didn't have to go crazy thinking about whether or not to text him and when I should do it! His text said, "Thanks again for tonight. And did you realize we had sex for 3 hours?!" HAHA.

So I'm going to Florida for a week, but we agreed to get in contact after I get back. And also, the next morning, he IMed me just to say HI before he had to go to work. I loved that he was making an effort to just stay in contact with me. Which, I'm assuming, means that he likes me? The only thing I'm still not too sure about is whether he wants to see me again because he wants to develop more with me... or he just wants to see me again so that he can stick it in my butt... I guess we will find out later. But I really do think that I like this guy. He's easy/fun to talk to, we have things in common, and he's great in bed. Hope things work out with him...

Well, right now, I'm finishing up the packing for my trip to Florida. I've confirmed my plans to meet Bryan the first night I'm there. I have to give Jamie a text when I arrive to confirm my plans with him also. SOO looking forward to this trip! Will blog about it whenever I get a chance!

Florida.... AGAIN

I seem to blog about the same things. But I guess it just goes to show that I don't like to break out of the familiar. So I'm making another trip out to Florida. I'm actually leaving in 4 days (WOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!). But I think I should preface my Florida trip with some news on New Cute Dream Boy (Bryan) and the ever so infamous Jamie.

So it's been a few weeks since I first started chatting with Bryan. And we've been steady contact through text messages and AIM. We just tell each other what's happening in our day and joke around and stuff. We seem to have the same sense of humor and we have a lot of the same interests (mainly Disney). I really enjoy chatting with him and I just hope he feels the same way. We've already made plans to meet each other during my time in Florida. And he likes to text me with things like, "You're almost here!" or "Only 4 more days!" He has me real excited about the entire trip as a whole, but a lot of that has to do with hanging out with him. We're actually going to meet up my first night there at Epcot and watch the fireworks together. :)

I'm not really sure if I'm going to invite him over to my place. I really want to because I'm attracted to him, but I'm not sure if it's too forward to invite him to my hotel room after just meeting him for the first time. But I mean, we have gotten to know each other pretty well over these past few weeks so it's not like it's a completely blind date or whatever. And really, inviting him over to my hotel room doesn't mean we're going to be doing anything naughty, right? It's just an invitation to hang out. Hey, if it goes there, I'm not going to stop it. But I think it would be nice to just have some company. So do you all think it's okay to invite him over??

In other news, I've been in contact with Jamie. Actually, when I first messaged him a few weeks ago, the first thing he says back to me is, "Hey Doug! How's my west coast boyfriend?" Not going to lie, it made me feel really nice when he said that. I don't know why he makes me feel this way after all this time. I guess it just means that I'm not fully over him. Well, I guess it's pretty obvious that I'm not over him if I'm making plans to meet up with him while in Florida. I told him my travel plans and he tells me that he's going to be making time to see me.

He tells me that he regrets not being able to be more intimate with me the last time I went out to visit. At that time, he was seeing another boy who turned out to be a big cheater. So this time he is making sure that he spends ample time with me. He said whatever is going at work or with his family during my time there, he will MAKE the time to be with me. So he's actually going to be staying over at my hotel for 2 or 3 nights. :) I don't want to admit it, but I'm really really excited about that. And the reason why I don't want to admit it is because I'm not over him. But I'm promising myself that this is going to just be a fun time with a fuck buddy kind of thing. I'm not going to let myself get all attached.

So it's 4 days away! I can't believe it! Besides the meetings with Bryan and Jamie, I'm just excited to be at Walt Disney World again. And this time, I'm staying at the really nice vacation homes that they have there. I'm staying in THREE different hotels. My first choice was to stay at the Animal Kingdom Villas where I can have giraffes outside my window. But they only had 3 out of the 5 nights available, and they were right in the middle of my travel dates. So I had to tag on 2 other reservations on the two ends. I chose the Boardwalk Villas and the Saratoga Springs Villas. Here are some pictures of these AWESOME vacation homes:

The Animal Kingdom Villas! Yes, the giraffes are really going to be THAT close!

Boardwalk Villas! OMG this looks so pretty!

Saratoga Springs exterior

I have a pretty full schedule with meeting up with Bryan and spending time with Jamie. Sooooo don't expect a blog while I'm there. I'll most definitely Twitter though, so keep an eye on the Twitter wall. And I'm DEFINITELY taking lots of pictures. With both Jamie and Bryan. My biggest regret last time was not taking pictures with Jamie. This time, I'm taking TONS. And I'll definitely post them up here!

Wish me luck with my trip!

This is my 200th Post!...

.... now that I got that out of the way... I can stop waiting for something amazing to come along to post for my 200th and just get back to regular blogging. I have so many things that I just haven't blogged about but need to (Vegas trip, Bryan, Jamie, Florida...)

Blogs to come soon!

New Cute Boy

I have a new little crush.

So everyone knows I perform at Disneyland. Well, one day, I noticed this cute, tall, white boy watching with his friend. He was watching right where I perform and I totally performed to him the entire time. That day, I even got up the courage and went up to him to say "Thanks for coming out to watch" and gave him a high five. And he seemed like he enjoyed watching me (and our group) perform. So I was happy.

Fast forward to a few days ago, I got on my YouTube account and found a message from someone I didn't know. In the message, he says that he came to watch my parade every day he visited Disneyland during his trip and he recognized me in my videos on YouTube as the guy that performed right in front of him. I was so giddy to read that this person who messaged me was the cute, tall, white boy that I performed to!

So I replied to his messaged and we started making small talk about the parade and such. Turns out he works for Disney World and does their parades over there. We then exchanged Facebook accounts and started chatting there. Eventually we exchanged AIM accounts.

His name is Bryan. He's such a nice guy. Had nothing but compliments about our parade and my performance. Told me that he specifically picked my section of the parade to watch that day because every other time he watched, he had his video camera with him. But that particular day, he just wanted to really watch the performance. ;) I felt awesome that he chose to watch me.

I'm pretty sure we've been flirting with each other on AIM. I asked for the opinions of others and they agree there is definite flirting. I'm kinda excited for that. Bryan works in Florida but only seasonally, I believe. He's in Arizon right now with family and he goes to school there as well. He has a great sense of humor and I've discovered some common interests already.

I don't really want to think too much more of it... afterall, he's another Disney World/Florida boy (re: Jamie....), but it's just nice to be "talking" to another boy. But the curious thing is.... he just so happens to fit the description of my Dream Guy. Kinda weird how this happens just a few days after I had the dream... curious indeed.

I hope I get to know him a bit more.... chat more with him. I'm sad that I wasn't able to have too much of a conversation online with him today because I had friends over and didn't have time to chat much. And then tomorrow I'm heading to Las Vegas and staying for the weekend, so there's definitely no time for online chatting. :( But I hope we'll pick up where we've left off once I return from the trip.

2008 in Music

2008 has been a pretty interesting year for me. So many things happened in my life: traveled to Canada/New York, went on a Caribbean Cruise, broke up with my girlfriend, found an apartment to live on my own, had my first sexual experiences with boys, met Jamie, admitted to myself and accepted that I was gay, started a blog, came out to my friends, met some great online friends, flew to Florida to see Jamie, went to my first gay club/bar, dressed up "sexy" for Halloween, had my first real date with a boy, had my first bad date with a boy, campaigned for Prop 8, got drunk in Vegas, obsessed over a boy online who ignored me, met Matty, found out I don't have a job come 2009, went on a date with Matty, slept with Matty, and now writing this blog entry. :) I'd say that it's been a pretty eventful year, filled with ups and downs.

So to celebrate the year 2008, I thought I'd post a bunch of my favorite songs that I listened to during this year. Some of them have special meaning to me, and I will write a bit about them under the video if that's the case. Hope you guys like the songs!

Timbaland feat. OneRepublic - Apologize


Mary Poppins (Broadway) - Chim Cher-ee/Supercalifragilisticexpealidocioius

When I went to New York to visit my friends, I was able to catch Mary Poppins on Broadway! :) It was such an amazing show! And Gavin Lee, who plays Bert, is pretty cute! Can't wait until the touring cast comes to Los Angeles!

Duffy - Mercy


Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love


Twice Charmed: An Original Twist on the Cinderella Story - Chasing a Dream

I took a Caribbean Cruise on the Disney Cruise Line to visit my friend who was working on the boat. I was so impressed by this show! I loved every bit of it! I'm such a Disney goob!

John Williams - Olympics Fanfare

August 2008 was an amazing month because it was time for the Olympics!! I remember spending every free moment at home watching the Olympics! I couldn't get enough of it! And I think the most memorable moment must have been the 4x100 Freestyle Relay where Jason Lezak made up a full body's length to win the gold for the US! OH SO AMAZING! I love the Olympics!

Imogen Heap - Goodnight and Go

Want to thank David from Some Things About Me for posting about this song. Because ever since I heard it, I just loved it. And plus, it was kinda my "theme song" for Jamie. Not that Jamie deserves a theme song.. it just reminded me of him when I first heard it because so much of the lyrics rang true at that time.

Royksopp - Only This Moment

This song was sent to me by my good UK friend Barry :) From the first time I heard it, I really liked it. But funny story that goes along with this: I had put this song on my playlist on my iPhone. This was back when only Jon and Miles were the only ones who knew I was gay. I had left my iPhone playlist on speaker at lunch and people were listening to the songs. This song comes on and someone at the table asks, "Why is there a gay club in this phone right now?" Miles and Jon just looks at each other and starts laughing because it was my phone and I had JUST told them I was gay a few days before this happened. I dunno, I guess it's just funny to us... definitely an "inside joke" moment for the three of us.

Rhianna - Disturbia


Celine Dion - To Love You More

Another reason why I admitted to myself I was gay: I enjoy Celine Dion. LOL

Adele - Hometown Glory



Jem - Got It Good

AMAZING song that I think everyone should listen to. Just makes me feel all warm inside when I listen to it.

Coming Out, #3

Amidst all the drama with J in Florida, I neglected to talk about my coming out to another one of my good gay friends, Sven. I've known Sven for 4 years now - we both worked together in the same department - and he's always been an all-around fun guy to be around. Recently, Sven received a contract to work elsewhere in the company and he's now in Toronto. (Lucky!)

So anyway, when I was alone in my hotel room after I had my dinner with J in Florida, Sven was on AIM and we chatted for a while. And I just felt like it was time for me to let him know. There wasn't a real reason why I wanted to do it. I just had this feeling to do it. And I was less nervous this time than when I told JW or Milo.

I started chatting and then I brought up that I had dinner with someone special.

Sven: A romantic dinner?

Me: It wasn't as romantic as I wanted it to be, but yes

Sven: Who was it with?

Me: Well... you don't know him...

Sven: A Florida boy?

Me: err... yes...

Sven: cute.

And that was that. So the rest of the night, we talked about J and how the dinner/date went. Then he talked about having a Coming Out parade for me (haha), to which I declined. I have enough parades in my life. So I'm just happy that I was able to be honest with Sven and I think we've become even better friends because of it. He's going to be gone on his contract for another 6 months or so, but can't wait until he comes back and maybe JW, Milo, Sven, and I can all go out together and have some fun. ;)

Lost Baggage

So my flight landed at 10:oopm PDT last night and by 10:15pm, I'm already at baggage claim. My first piece of luggage comes out pretty quickly, but then I wait for my second bag for about 15 minutes. Milo calls me and tells me he's already waiting for me outside. I tell him my second bag hasn't come out and that I think they've lost it.

See, getting on my first flight in Orlando to Phoenix, I was one of the last ones to board the plane. So when I get on, the flight attendant tells me that there is no more overhead bin space. I had to check my bag. So I just leave it on the gangway and board the plane. Then I realize that nothing on my bag tells them that I'm going to be on a connecting flight to Orange County, CA. So I tell the flight attendant and he asks me for my name and my destination and the description of my bag. They said they got it in time and have taken care of it.

Well, they didn't take care of it. And I didn't get my bag last night. I talk to Southwest Airlines customer service and they tell me that they'll do everything they can to find it. This morning, I get a call from the lady at customer service and she tells me that the bag is in Phoenix and never made it out to California. But they are sending it over on the next flight. So at 12:00noon, I get the call again and they tell me that my bag is here. They could either send the bag to me (free of charge) or I can go pick it up along with a travel voucher. Well, I heard travel voucher and immediately agreed to go pick it up. It wasn't that far anyway, and I had other business around the area, so I drive down and pick it up.

After driving around the parking lot at the airport for 15 minutes, I finally find a parking spot millions of miles away from where I need to be, and walk in to get my bag. They didn't even ask me for my identification... Anyone could've have taken my bag! But anyway, I take it back to my car (a million miles away) and I open the travel voucher. $50 towards my next Southwest flight. Well, not too shabby! I still also have a one way ticket through JetBlue, so it looks like I will be making another trip somewhere in the near future!! Perhaps another Florida trip?? haha. Maybe this time I can actually get on that cruise!

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5 Things You Didn't Know About Me Before (stolen from joshua, THANKS!)

1. I own a Nintendo Wii and the hugely popular WiiFit - yet I never play it even though I have loads of time to kill... why? who knows.
2. I have scoliosis. For those who don't know, it means my spine is curved from side to side. So instead of a straight spine, mine is in the shape of an S... no surgery needed yet... and hopefully never will.
3. I drive a Prius! It's black! and it's amazing! I've had it for almost 1.5 years now. Love every part of it.
4. I graduated with a B.A. in Economics from UCLA.... and I hated that place.
5. I really want to learn how to ballroom dance... I might ask for ballroom lesson for my birthday... which is in 3 weeks from today!

Flying Home

I am on my way home right now. I have a two hour layover in Phoenix, AZ. Flying Southwest (hence the picture), and I don't like it one bit. I hate that we don't have assigned seats. And for whatever reason, I was given a really high boarding number for my 4.5 hour flight. So, I was stuck in a middle seat. I HATE sitting in the middle seat. And the guy on my left had his overhead air vent slightly too far to the right so it was blowing at my arm and lower torso area for the entire trip. I tried to adjust it when he was sleeping or looking away but I couldn't get it all the way out of my path. So I had this annoying breeze on me for the whole trip. And then when he would be awake and reading a magazine, the magazine would deflect the air right into me so I had a full on fan on me. ARGH. That's so annoying. In addition, there's nothing to lean on while sitting in the middle seat so whenever I tried to sleep, my head would fall forward and when I would wake up, I had the worst pain in my neck. 4.5 hours! At least the guys next to me didn't smell....

Now to hunt down a hot guy to sit next to on my flight back to California!

The Meeting

Disclaimer: This is a REALLY long post. Make sure you have a snack or some coffee before reading. haha. (And if you make it through the whole post, your comments are greatly appreciated!! hehe... sorry for being a comment whore.. )

So as you know, I'm in Florida, and its known for random rain storms. Well, around 3:00pm, it started to rain. It only started sprinkling at first, so I didn't think anything of it and get on the monorail to head to a theme park. As I got on the monorail, the rain starts getting heavier. I thought to myself, "Oh crap... I don't have an umbrella." I exit the monorail and as I step out onto the platform, I just hear the pouring rain. Here's what it looked like:


It's not that clear of a picture, but you get the idea. This is at 3:30pm. Only 45 minutes ago, it was super sunny and hot. So I stand in the station for a good 30 minutes, deciding what to do. I finally decide that I need to just run out into the rain and get back to my hotel. So when the rain let up a bit, I made my dash. I step into puddles and puddles of water and get completely drenched, but it was actually kind of fun and kind of an adventure.

I finally get to my bus station for my resort. I lose my camera case (my camera is ok though because I had it out to take video of myself running. lol), but everything else is fine. I take my iPhone out and check to make sure there was no water damage. When turning it on, I see that I have an email in my inbox.

Are you free for dinner?

One guess as to who that email was from! If you said J, then you are correct!! I couldn't contain my joy at that moment. One minute I was running in the rain, the next, I finally get what I've been waiting for! So fast forward to 6:30pm, he is outside my door knocking! I totally freak out for a second but then regain my composure and open the door. We exchange a giant hug and we head out. We drive about 15 minutes or so and takes me to a nice sushi restaurant (we both like sushi)

So we catch up on each other's lives. I of course don't tell him about my complete obsession over him. But he does tell me about his ex, Captain Douchebag, and I felt bad for him. Then he tells me he has a new guy..... It's someone he's known for a long time and always had an attraction to but only recently started seeing him in a new way. SIGH.... You have no idea how disappointed to hear that but I do not let myself show it. I tell him I'm really happy for him and that he deserves it. He tells me that they're not officially anything yet, but I can tell he really likes him.

Afterwards, he drives me to the shopping district and we window shop and walk around for about an hour. We just talk and have fun. We were playful and I really enjoyed our time together. I really couldn't have asked for a better date. He drove me back to my hotel, and on the way back, he asks me "Why are you still single?" I have no idea what to say to that. He continues, "I mean, you're funny, intelligent, and attractive. It just doesn't make sense that you're single." I really did not know how to respond to that. I just told him, "I don't know..." Talk about mixed signals... I really didn't know how to take that. Was he just being nice and trying to give me some confidence about myself? Or was he trying to tell me something? I decide that it's just the first reason and don't think much more of it. We drive up to the hotel and our date is over... I reach over for another giant hug. It was a long embrace.. I didn't want to let go. But I didn't want to be a creeper and just hang on forever so I break the hug and open the door. I tell him, "Make sure to let me know if you're coming out to LA again." And he says of course. I close the door and he drives off.

Should I have asked him if he wanted to come up to the room to hang out? I really wish I did. Because right as I closed the door, I realized I still had to go back to an empty room. I walked in my room and just felt completely lonely again. I really do regret that I didn't at least ask, but I just have to get over it. An hour afterwards, I receive an email in my inbox:

D!

I made i home safe and sound. Thanks for everything, I had a lot of fun with you. You're so sweet and funny, not to mention incredibly super handsome. I am so proud of you for coming out to your friends, that was such a brave act and a leap of faith. See what a little confidence can do. :-)

I hope I get to come out to LA rather than Paris. Enjoy your last full day!

J

So there you go... it's that line again. "You're so sweet and funny, not to mention incredibly super handsome." Sigh... But let's first talk about how HE emailed me! Not to a reply to me! OMG, that's a pretty big step I think. Just glad he really wants to be friends. It sucks that he has a guy now, but I'm really happy for him. He's been through a lot with Captain Douchbag and Ex-Boyfriend #1. So I'm glad that he has someone that's (seemingly) great for him.

I just really need to go home now. Today, I spent the whole day alone in the parks. After having such a wonderful time with J, I just want to go home now and leave it at that. There's nothing else that can be done with him anymore. He has a guy and I need to respect that. I was talking with Barry online while in the park, and I told him I need to just get over him. He tells me not to completely get over him. Just put him on the back burner and take it down a notch. He told me never to say never, because you never can know what will happen. But there's no need to just forget about him. He tells me I'll always have feelings for him and that's completely ok. It just shouldn't get in the way of finding new guys because there are lots of other guys out there that is right for me. I really appreciated Barry's advice. And it makes perfect sense to me. I hope I will be able to do that, because I definitely don't want to forget about him. But I also need to just put myself out there and find other guys.

So, this should not be the end of the "J Saga." It certainly is the end of a big chapter.. maybe a whole Volume tho. This has been a real giant part of my life, figuratively speaking. It only started at the end of August, but I feel like J has really helped me find who I really am. And for that, I thank him and will forever be grateful. Some day, I will let him know just exactly how much he has meant to my life... but I guess that will be another Volume of the story.

P.S. I'm so freaking pissed off that I didn't take a picture with him. I guess that will just have to wait until the next time I see him... whenever that will be.

2.5 Days Left

It is now Sunday night... wait, make that Monday morning. That means that there are only two and half days of Florida left. As you read in the previous post, I was so happy that I finally got in contact with J. But I'm afraid that we're playing the same game as before. And I am once again foolish enough to wait for him. Regrettably, we did not set a time or date for our meeting. He simply said that he would be free either Monday or Tuesday night, and possibly Sunday night (but we can scratch Sunday night off the list). But we definitely don't have a set time. I told him to call me once he knows - but what I should have done was insist on a time/date. Instead, I am now waiting for his response again. What a horrible position to be in again. And I thought that I had made progress.

My fear is that he's just going to tell me that he's too busy and won't be able to meet up with me. That would really be the worst thing that can happen. But, I'm going to think positive. My time in Florida has not ended and this can still happen. Keep your fingers crossed for me?

And Now The Wait

You'll never believe what happened. I don't even believe what happened.

J just chatted with me online.

Yeah, I'm seriously shocked. And not emails. But chat. AH!
So he apologized for being so BUSY with work and family visiting and all this crap. And he asks me how long I'm staying in Florida. And then HE proposes getting together for dinner while I'm still here. AH!
I try to play it as cool as possible in the chat - so trying not to sound like a stupid little school girl talking to her crush. And I say "yeah, that'd be real cool." He thinks he'll be free either tomorrow or the night after. AH!

So basically, now I just have to wait. Wait for him to call me and let me know when he'll be free and when our little meeting will be. I'm just going to take it as meeting up with a friend, and not a date or anything like that. I don't want to ruin it by assuming anything. AH!

I really can't contain my happiness right now that he finally... FINALLY... responded to me. But now, it's this wait that I'm so nervous about. I really hope he doesn't blow me off! AH!

Orlando

I'm beginning to regret my decision to come to Orlando. No matter how much I convinced myself that J was NOT the reason for coming out here... it seems as though he really was. I mean, if I actually got on that cruise, then I really could say that I was coming to get on the cruise and visit my friends. But now, I'm alone in my hotel room, with nothing to do but watch Dolly Parton on Jay Leno. FUCK! I'm so pissed off at myself. And what sucks even more is that I am incapable of having fun -- I want to go to the clubs, but I've never been and more importantly I don't want to go alone. This is just depressing. I hope visiting the theme parks tomorrow will cheer me up.

Made it to Florida!

So I hopped on my JetBlue flight Wednesday morning and made my way over to Florida. Wonderful flight. No complaints. Didn't have anyone sitting next to me the whole way there (I had a connecting flight), so I was very happy. :) Go to Florida and PeeJ was there to pick me up. I also met up with my friend Anthony (who is my friend who's getting married at Disneyland, see previous post) and the three of us went to a bar to just catch up. It was great times. I spent the night at PeeJ's family's house. Next day, I met up with two more friends who I used to work with and now work out here in Florida. Had lunch with them at TGIFriday's. Then spent the rest of the day with PeeJ at Disney's Hollywood Studios.

I'm just so happy that I have friends to visit out here. It's great that I'm going on vacation on my own, but it's always better when friends are involved. And I'm just happy to see all of them because I don't get to see them at all anymore!

On to more depressing news now... I emailed J when I was at the airport waiting for my connecting flight. I kept it short, and let him know that I was going to be in Florida... wait... let me just copy and paste the whole thing:

Hey J,

I'm making my way out to Florida right now. I really needed the vacation from work. The cruise fell through (long story), but I'm staying with my friend for the first two days, and then at two different resorts the rest of the time, until the 24th. Not gonna lie, pretty bummed I haven't heard from you in a while, but I'd really love it if you'd come meet me while I'm in Orlando, if anything, just for coffee or something. so please write back or call me and let me know.. you have my number. If you don't want to, then just tell me and I'll leave you alone. it's only fair.

-DL

So what do you guys think? Straight to the point and I ask for a response. Well, nothing yet. It's been a day and a half now. I'm waiting for the weekend to give him time to respond. But I'm seriously just so sad about my situation. I talked with JW and Clark about being depressed... and they talked me out of it a little. But I'm still pretty down. And I know it's absolutely STUPID but I really can't help it. Why is this happening to me?? When will I find happiness again? Milo suggests that I go out to the theme parks, meet cute boys, and be slutty. No other time than while on vacation. LOL! This may be the best advice I've gotten in a long time.

Vacation Trouble

Tuesday night, my friends came over to watch TV and during that time, I was on the internet looking at possible vacation dates. My work allows me to get some awesome discounts for some Caribbean cruises so I was looking into those because I have a few friends working on the cruise ship. So, I checked the dates and there was a 3-day Caribbean cruise for only $300 from Sept 18-21. PERFECT. So I scramble to find plane flights. I'm using points from JetBlue to get a free flight. I find the flights I need. I look into hotel stays in Florida because I'm not going out to Florida and not sticking around for a few days to hang out at the theme parks. So I check that as well. It all looks good. Now, can I get the days off of work? So that was the problem... I needed to find people to fill my days. So I frantically message, email, text as many people as I know that can fill my shifts. But I decided to wait until the next day to book my flights and the cruise because I wanted to make sure I could do it. But I was excited that I was going to be spontaneous and just GO!


Well, Wednesday morning comes around. I get a few responses back from my co-workers and I have two days out of five filled now. Still waiting on the others. I can potentially call in sick on one day, but I can't call in sick 3 days. So I'm still waiting for more responses. It's around 3pm - I finally get 4 people to fill my shifts, I'm good! So I go to the cruise site to book my cruise..... SOLD OUT! FUCK! I call the cruise line directly... they tell me that it was booked up about an hour or two ago. They tell me that there's still a chance that the discounts can open up later.... great...

So for the next few hours, I'm pretty pissed off at myself. I can't believe I waited so long to book that cruise. It could've been mine! I could've been on it! FUCK! So, 9pm rolls around. I'm talking to my friend PeeJ. I tell him my situation, and he tells me... "Oh, well I'll be home (in Florida) next week... you can just crash at my place for a few days if you want to still go." SCORE!! Hell ya! So the time that I would've been on the cruise, I can just stay at PeeJ's place. And the rest of the time, I was going to get a hotel and stay there myself anyway. FUCK YA!

So I get on JetBlue and book that sucker right away! HAHA.
So I guess it worked out in the end. I now have an 8 day vacation to beautiful Orlando, FL! I'm so happy I made those plane reservations. And I'm still calling the cruise line every day to make sure - just to check if the discounts open up.

Now, knowing that I'm going to be in Florida next week, I emailed J. Here is the complete email:

Hey J,

So ive been talking to my friends on the cruise and it looks like I'm going to be making my trip out to Orlando earlier than expected and it's most likely going to be next week. 17th-24th. I'll be on the 3-day cruise from 18th-21st and then spend the rest of the time at WDW for the food and wine festival. You think you'd want to meet up and hang out while I'm out there?
Let me know. It'd be great to see you if you're free.

-D

I just mentioned the cruise anyway just in case I get to go on the cruise. I think it's not too desperate right? I'm just seeing if he wants to hang out. Really, if he doesn't respond, then so be it. His loss. I might be upset, but I won't let it get me down while I'm on vacation.

I'm excited to be out on vacation on my own. I haven't done that before! And I can just be myself. The REAL me. Maybe I'll go to a club. Maybe I'll meet a guy. I'll just have to be brave and do it. Explore! For all you out there reading this, I hope you will all encourage me to get out there and discover the possibilities. I'm such a timid person and I really just want to change that. Hopefully being in a new environment will bring that out.