So after I posted my last entry, the boy I'm seeing on Tuesday (Matty) and I chatted even more. Our conversation got into food and I told him that I LOVE Japanese food. He tells me that he also loves Japanese food and Asian cuisine in general. MAJOR points right there ;) So I ask him about Ramen. No, not Top Ramen or the kind of the ramen you make yourself at home from a tiny orange package. Ramen, as in the real kind where they make it for you in a restaurant and have amazing soup bases. He tells me that he's had Ramen before and that he LOVES it. Well, it seriously is one of my favorite foods, and my friends and I go all time. So I tell him that we should definitely go have Ramen together some time. He agrees.
And then he gets a bright idea about Tuesday. He wanted to know if I would want to get Ramen early in the day for lunch before I went to work. And then I can let him into Disneyland and then leave for bowling together after my work. He lives pretty far, so driving down just to go bowling from 10:30pm on wasn't ideal. So he wanted to make a full day out of it. Well, of course I agreed because Ramen is amazing and it would be fun to spend more time with him. :)
Well, this morning came, and the reality of that sort of sunk in. Him coming earlier in the day means more time that I would have to spend trying to start conversation. I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I am not a conversation starter. In fact, I don't really like to talk too much. I'm a very quiet, reserved person. If I'm asked to speak or asked to explain something, I'll do it, but mostly in the least amount of words possible. So, thinking about spending more time with him is sort of freaking me out.
To make matters a little worse, I spent over an hour on the phone with him tonight. Well, normally, talking on the phone is not a bad thing. In fact, it should be a GREAT thing because we've more on from texting to actual conversation on the phone. BUT, the bad thing was there definitely was a lot of awkward silences. See... a lot of that was due to us both being tired. We had first gotten on the phone because he was driving home after dropping his friends off at their houses. He told me he was real tired, so I told him that he could call me to keep him awake while driving. So he did, and I got him talking in the beginning. But after a while, conversation started to whither away... and those awkward silences crept in. I tried so hard to start conversations... just about ANYTHING.. I just said what came to my head. But both us would start the conversation but then end it abruptly and then silence came again.. Like I said, I really don't know if it was because we're both tired or just because I suck at keeping conversations.
I just REALLY REALLY hope that this doesn't happen when we see each other face to face. When he gets here, the drive to Ramen is a good 30 minutes. How awkward would it be if the car ride was just silent? :( And then eating at the restaurant. Will I be able to come up with topics to discuss and things to say there? And then there's the ride back too!... I think this early addition to the "date" is really screwing with me. Because at bowling, we're engaged in an activity so it'll be easy to keep things going. But in a car and at a meal, that's where it gets tough for me!!
I don't want to make a bad impression.... I need some pointers.. advice.. HELP!
Is Dating Somebody Emotionally Half My Age Illegal?
11 years ago
10 comments:
Hey I know completely how you feel about having a conversation with someone. Unfortunately, I am the same, if not worse. Unless its a topic that I am very familiar with, I just sit there all tongue tied. Fortunately (or unfortunately?) I've got a couple friends that are complete chatterboxes, so I can sort of slink into the background and just hover on the edges.
I wish I could give you some advice on what to do, what to say, or how to say it, but I probably wouldn't have much to offer.
I suppose its similar to stage fright, one day you either get comfortable and walk out into the spotlight, or force yourself to, or else you just stay in the wings and watch.
(I have no idea what I just tried to say, but it sounded significant).
Don't worry too much about it - more stress = more difficult. You only have to make an impression of who you are, and thats a part of who you are.
Good luck and have fun.
You REALLY worry too much!!
You should DECIDE that the awkward silences when you spoke on the phone was due to both of you being tired. Silences are only awkward if you think they are.
It's all a state of mind! You're able to "talk" a lot with him online, try think of it as the same thing.
You will do fine, and he sounds really nice. Just be yourself, we all love ya, and so will he.
just ask questions. if you're really interested in this person, just ask him questions about himself. There must be a million things you don't know about him that you'd like to know. Like what does he like to do? Where? What does he like about it? Do you like to do that too?
Once you know more, you can relate to him better, and talk about yourself.
oh, and one more thing...silence is not all that bad. you don't have to feel like you have to fill every minute with words. maybe he doesn't like talking a lot either.
I know I don't. I hate small talk. And that's okay. I'd rather just be with a person than talk endlessly without stopping. That just wears me out.
We he says something after a silence, that's your cue to talk about something. Take the topic and milk it for all it's worth, especially if it's something he seems to be interested in.
Really, when someone says something after a silent period, they're trying to throw you a bone. If you don't take it, you'll just make for an even more awkward situation.
if your buddy was tired, and driving, and talking on the phone, i can see why the conversation would stop at times. hell, i can't drive and listen to the radio at the same time. don't panic because of one instance. i think you've already made a good impression on him, becasue he wants to go out and have ramen early and go bowling. relax, be yourself, don't worry about having to have a running conversation. a lot of times that just shows how nervous you are. silence is not lethal, it shows you are comfortable with each other. good luck then. keep us posted.
Thank you everyone for the advice and encouragement!
So even more development... It's slightly raining today and when it rains the area in which Matty lives in snows and roads close. Well we didn't want to postpone so I asked if he wanted to join my friends and me at a Nintendo Wii party that I'm throwing. And then he'd stay over and we can still have our day together tomorrow.
Well he agreed it would be a great idea. I'm taking that as a real good sign that he's willing to come to a party full of people he doesn't know. I know I wouldn't! LOL.
So we keep extending our time together! Haha. I'm just nervous handling entertaining my friends AND Matty. But you better believe that I'm going to be paying more attention to Matty than anyone else!
Man, you're getting in deeper and deeper! I think you'll be fine, and Wii tournaments are pretty fun, so you shouldn't feel pressure. The good thing is that you'll be surrounded by friends and don't have to feel awkward at first. The big issue is where will he sleep?!?! Thaaaaattt is completely up to you ;0
Don't worry about the silences. If he didn't mind them that night chances are that he doesn't mind at all. Some ppl don't want/need to fill up every moment with convo.
IF he mentions spending the night again after bowling you freak his undies off!! Lick him up and down til he yells stop!
Hmm . . . it's Tuesday night here already. Things are already in motion for you. Any advice I give now would be in retrospect, alas.
Anyway, I've finally caught up on your blog!! :D I'll be sure to link you soon. James and Zee keep asking me if I talk to you on AIM, which is clearly a "No" because I haven't read up on your blog until just now. But, I'll be sure to hit you up on AIM sometime (just a forewarning ;-P).
I hope everything goes well!! :)
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