Tuesday, November 25, 2008


This is the perfect word for me now.... anxious.

I'm anxious to go on this date. I'm anxious to get to know the guy. And I just need to calm down. But I just have this horrible gut feeling that it's not going to go as planned. Something's going to happen and he's not gonna wanna go on the date with me. First off, I don't even know why he agreed to a date with me in the first place! I mean, c'mon, he's a freakin hottie! Like SUPER hot in my books. What is he doing with me?? And he's going to be thinking about it this week and he's going to realize he made a mistake in agreeing on a date, and then bail out.

All of this is going through my head - and I just can't help it. Anxious? Low self-esteem? Probably a mixture of everything. But the "giddy-ness" from last night has fizzled away and now I'm just worried/nervous about it all.

AJ talked some sense into me tonight. I think it helped a bit. But it's still looming in the back of my mind. But I really want to thank AJ for being a great friend and giving me advice on calming down and being cool about it all. And he's teaching me to not seem desperate and what to do and not to do on the date. :) Seriously, I had no idea - I'm really bad at the date thing I guess. But thanks to AJ, I have some things to work off of. THANKS BUDDY! You're the best!

So, I'm just waiting until Sunday. Or rather, Saturday, I'll send him a text or something to confirm the date. But until then, I'm just playing it cool and laying low. No IMs, texts, or phone calls until Saturday. I just want this to turn out good! Please keep your fingers crossed for me!!


Anonymous said...

If you can't accept that you are worth it, that you have value... then how can he?

What is it in you, where did that come from?

Who put that notion in your soul and made you harbor it?

You'd better go back and wash that from you, wash it away like the festering scab its become.

Put 30 lbs of rocks in a backpack and carry that around for a day, then put the rocks and the backpack back where you got them...

What did you learn from that?

Stop choosing to lose :)


AJCon89 said...

you will do fine buddy...

you just need to realize that guys want to be with you... and trust that.

Believe that they find you hot... and that you dont need to constantly convince them and trick them into being with you... lol

that is all i am talking about... if you call him 10 times between now and sunday... he will get this idea in his head that doug doesnt feel very confident in himself...

exude confidence... believe you are good enough to have a hot guy find you hot.

because you are.

now stop obsessing over this... lol

it will drive you crazy

E said...

I know how these things are. You get nervous abt what u'll say. All of a sudden the clothes in your closet that you loved aren't cool enough to wear. You become conscious abt ur hair and face.

Throw urself into something. Rehearsal, exercise, redecorating, bee keeping, masturbating, whatever! Keep yourself occupied. You'll look up and find yourself staring down Sunday's throat.

I would also suggest that you ask a friend to help you on the special night. Just like with the picture, someone else's eye will help assuage some of the feelings of anxiousness.

Until then find something else to occupy your time.

Anonymous said...

Il faut d'avoir le confiance.

If you're worried he won't like you because of your body then you do have some self-esteem issues. Because you're equally as smoking hot as he is, hands down. So take a break from that class of yours and try some rational thinking.

midoriverdegreen said...

dude, you will be fine. and this matt guy will really really like you, i promise. what you really need to worry about is if this guy wears boxers of boxerbriefs, that is what you should be focused on. lol

oh, dont forget to breathe.