Election Day!

It's Decision '08! Today is the day! Election Day! Hope you've already went out and voted! If not, what are you waiting for?! GO! I already mailed in my ballot so I get to sit on my couch and watch MSNBC. :)

So, I called my mom about an hour ago. She had just went out to go vote. I've blogged previously about asking her about Prop 8 (which seeks to eliminate gay marriage in California). She was still unsure at that time. And I tried to get her to understand Prop 8 as much as possible without seeming too passionate about it. I mean, I didn't want to out myself yet. But I was still worried that she would be voting Yes on 8 because she has traditional views on most everything. She is Chinese afterall... and Chinese people are quite traditional. So when I called her and asked about it, I was extremely delighted to hear that she voted NO on Prop 8! She said she decided, ultimately, to vote No, although it sounded like she was a little reluctant to do so. But she added, "It just didn't seem fair to do that to them." Despite the reluctant tone in her voice, I still think that's a good sign for me. Maybe it wouldn't go quite as bad if I were to come out to her.

Silly Halloween Leads to Deeper Thoughts

So Halloween has passed. It's a fun, silly "holiday" where we can all dress up as something else. And I love how that means we dress up (or should it be down?) as something "slutty." Up until this year, I was the complete opposite, but I finally gave in and decided to be revealing. And I had fun doing it. Not going to lie, I felt kinda sexy. Not that I got any action out of it.. hehe. But it was still fun, for myself, to be doing something, dressing in something, that I would NEVER ever dress in on any other day.

So I posted my pictures on Facebook as well. After they got posted on there, I remembered that my sister also has a Facebook account and realized she would most likely be seeing these photos. And more than likely, she would be sharing these photos with my mom. What would they think about them? Especially of the picture where I'm getting sandwiched molested by Apollo and Naked Chef? And then the next question was, do I really care if they see the pictures? I think my answer to that was NO, because I haven't taken down the pictures. Does this mark another step in my coming out? I don't really care if they see the pictures. And I think somewhere in my subconscious, I want them to see it and I want them to ask me about it. This does not mean that I'm not terrified about coming out to my family though - because I still am! I still think/believe that they would disown me. But there's SOMETHING inside me that's begging for them to find out.

But do you think that me wanting them to find out is just me being afraid of actually telling them that I'm gay? Because there's a big difference between me telling them and them finding out. I guess here are my thoughts on the two scenarios:

1. They find out: I don't have to come up with the courage to sit them down and tell them. They just ask me about it, and I tell them "yes." But would it take even more courage to say the words "yes?" Because them finding out would mean that I'm not prepared. It would most likely be some sort of ambush from my family where they suddenly ask me about it. Would I be prepared to say "yes?" But it would only be one word and I can just blurt it out and tell them.
2. I tell them: Will I ever find the courage to actually do this? Since I believe in all my heart that they would disown me, will I EVER actually do this? But it's something that I can prepare for. And it would be done on my terms... my way. Though it seems that doing it on my terms sounds WAY better, I just don't think I can get over the fear of essentially losing my family and actually doing it.

And so a silly day like Halloween has caused all these thoughts to be racing in my head.. who would've thought, huh?

Halloween Pics!

Though I wasn't really feeling the party that much last night, I still had some fun moments and took some good pics. So here they are, a combination of nights 1 and 2:

I had no idea what was going on....

The coach and the cop

Me with bunny #1

Ariel! (can you tell that she's actually a tranny?)

Night two: Me and Indiana Jones

Beastmaster? I don't know but HOT!

Bunny #2!

Me getting molested by Apollo and the Naked Chef

Halloween: Round 2

So I didn't have nearly as much fun in the block party as the smaller party. I think that proves that I'm definitely not a party animal. There were probably 150-200 people at this block party but I think just being in that environment didn't make me very comfortable. Plus, I felt lost when I wasn't walking around with my friends. I knew a lot of people at the party, but only a few that I wanted to actually stay with. So most of the night, I was just hanging on to my friends like a little puppy dog. Plus, I don't drink. I was the DD for the group. So just being around people who were completely wasted out of their minds was not fun for me.

There WERE a lot of great looking boys there though! However, I didn't feel comfortable going up to them to talk to them or dance with them. I didn't even feel comfortable checking them out because I had a bunch of friends there that don't know that I'm gay. So I really just kept to myself the whole time. And it was kind of a downer...

At the end of the night, as I was driving home, Miles asks me if I had fun. All I could say was, "It was OK." I really don't think I had fun at all... Why is it so hard for me to have fun? I just hate myself for being so uptight some times. I wish I was more outgoing, but it's definitely easier said than done. And not being able to tolerate alcohol also sucks. All these people drinking, letting loose, letting their inhibitions go... I won't ever be able to be like that because my body just physically cannot take the alcohol. With the smallest bit of booze, my body gets REAL red and hot and then my heart feels like it's going to pound out of my chest. It's ridiculous....

So unfortunately, I don't have any fun stories to tell about my Halloween parties... Only a few nice pictures to prove that I was actually a part of it. I guess by actually making it out to the party is my first step at becoming a more outgoing me. But what is it going to take to finally get me to let loose and have fun?

Halloween (Round 1): Quick Update

Ok, so I promised a full update with pics and everything, but I'm going to save that until I'm done with Round 2 of Halloween. Last night was a party at my friend's house. More intimate and close friends. Tonight is a big Halloween BLOCK PARTY so there are going be TONS of people there. Can't wait!

Last night, I took 250 photos!! haha. So I'm thinking I'll take at least that many tonight.
Here's a picture to show you my costume. (ok, I'm not gonna lie.. I look pretty good in some of these pics! hehe) Here I am taking a picture with Michelle Obama! (Miles was Barack Obama, but our pictures together didn't show off my costume, so I'm not posting those lol)


So I forgot to bring my clipboard into the party... would've made it a lot better. But the shirt says "COACH" on the front there if you can't see it, and it says COACH again bigger on the back. HEHE.. can't wait to show it off again at the block party tonight! WOO!

Happy Halloween!!

Heading out to Hallween party #1! Full update with pics as soon as I get home! ;)

Me, Myself, and I

I'm home with family tonight, which means I'm bored out of my mind because they're all asleep and I'm still awake but I have none of MY stuff to do, so I'm on my computer reading blogs. First, let me just say how HAPPY I am for AJ over at AJ's Ramblings for his first kiss with a boy! So freakin adorable! I actually was watching some TV with my family when I randomly turned on my Messenger application on my iPhone. A second after, AJ messages me with a very enthusiastic "Hi!" and then proceeds to tell me his awesome night with Matt. It was so cute, I couldn't hold my smile in. My family probably thought I was a lunatic for smiling so big at my iPhone (and eventually my computer). So congrats to AJ! He's a good guy and he deserves someone to make him happy. ;)

So I'm not going to lie, but I'm totally jealous of him. And I told him too! ;) But it really just reminds me of how sad a life I have. I was talking with James from Just Me this morning too, and I described my day for him: "I sit. Watch TV. Eat. Then go to work. Then sit some more. And watch more TV." Absolutely ridiculous... I can't believe I've let myself become so complacent with my boring life. I really need to do something about it. And I'm hoping these two Halloween parties this weekend will be the first steps to being a more fun Doug. A more outgoing Doug.

And through all this thinking about myself, I realized that many of you may not know me that well. So I went back to my first few blog posts to see what kind of introductions I gave to everyone. My first post was a MESS. Grammar and spelling mistakes everywhere. LOL. And my second post was all about Jamie. Oh jeez Jamie. That's the bulk of this blog, huh? Reading that post again was kind of bittersweet. I basically described our first meeting. My first intimate moments with another boy. My first time holding hands with a boy. My first time kissing a boy. My first time having sex with a boy. It was such a great night - and I'm never going to forget it. But it also reminds me of what I don't have right now. I just want someone to talk to when I'm lonely, someone to hold hands with when I'm watching TV, someone to share my meals with, someone to cuddle with while I sleep. And I know, I know, he'll come when I least expect it. The perfect guy will appear when and where I'm not looking. But for right now, I'm still lonely, and it sucks.

Wow, this post just got real depressing. I'm not even sure what the point of this post was when I first started it. I probably should think out my posts first before I type... I think I originally intended to give you guys more of a background of my life, but I guess it just kinda veered off course into a pit of my own sorrow. Maybe I'll save my background for another day then....

Well, I think I'll leave you all with the new "Don't Vote" ad campaign. Make sure to GO VOTE on Nov 4th! Your vote WILL make a difference!

"That's so dang cute!"

I hate myself for succumbing so easily...

I logged onto Facebook tonight and on the homepage, it tells me that Jamie has uploaded 4 new photos to his profile. They are 4 pictures of him and his cat. Now.. I don't even like cats, and these pictures were just so cute. Jamie has the biggest smile ever, on his bed (presumably), playing with his cat. One of the pictures has his cat biting him on his arm, and the next picture is of him biting back. ARGH. I couldn't help it and posted a comment on the one where he's smiling real big: "That's so dang cute!" Why do I do things like this? I can't help it. I want to distance myself from him. But I just can't. Seeing his cute, handsome, smiling face .... ARGH!

By the way, I finally did reply back to him on Facebook after he sent me back a message (see previous post). I sent that on the 24th.. It's now the 28th. No response back. Sigh... I hate my situation. I hate every bit of it. I almost wish that I never met him at all. Or at least, I wish that something can be done so that I can free him from my mind!

My (Gay) Day Off

Wow I think I might have had one of the gayest days of my life today.

I started the day wanting to get a Mystic Tan (those fake spray tans). This is in preparation for Halloween because I don't want to have a farmers tans on my arms or, worse, white legs! So I exfoliated and moisturized my body to get ready for the tanning. Then I called up the tanning place and asked about the whole process and she let me know that the tans last up to 3-5 days.. hm. Well, my parties aren't until Friday and Saturday, so it would be too early to get it today. So then I decided against going. But STILL, I exfoliated! and moisturized!

And then I went and ran some errands with Jon. We went to the new Target store that they built down the street from where we live. I went in and could NOT remember what I needed to buy. I walked out with deodorant and tweezers. Yes, TWEEZERS. lol. Oh, it gets gayer.

We then drove down to Best Buy because I've been wanting this DVD for a while now: Celine Dion, A New Day (her show in Vegas). Sigh. Yes, I'm a big closet Celine fan. She's amazing, and you all know it. Bought the DVD for $16.99, and then Jon and I decided that we wanted to continue our gay day and watch a movie in the theaters. What movie, you ask? Going along with the theme of the day, you MAY have guessed it already... Yes, folks... High School Musical 3: Senior Year!



It actually was REALLY enjoyable. I'm a little bias because I work for Disneyland and everything. But, I liked it a lot. Really entertaining and the dancing was real good. Can't wait until it comes out on DVD!

After the movie, I drove back to my apartment, invited Miles over, and we watched the Celine DVD. Amazing singing. Amazing choreography. Amazing stage. Amazing everything. Celine Dion is .... I can't believe I'm using this word ... FIERCE! But the perfect word to sum up my incredibly gay day. And I loved every minute of it. :)

Coming Out (Almost) #4, Halloween Update

Today, I almost came out to my good friend N (she has a very unique name so she's staying in initials). It almost got there, but then I chickened out for some reason... So to preface my story, today, Miles and I went to Beverly Hills to go shopping for new outfits to wear to go out on the town. We had planned to go to West Hollywood for some clubbing with Jon tomorrow night. So we wanted to look nice ;) Well, long story short, Jon hasn't been feeling well and isn't up for going out anymore. So we had to cancel.

I'm at work on my iPhone, texting Miles telling him about Jon. The iPhone makes a loud noise every time I send or receive a text. So N is sitting next to me when this happens. She asks me, "Who are you texting?" because I guess the sounds were catching her attention.

Me: Oh, it's Miles. We're just texting each other cuz we're mad at Jon for ditching us tomorrow.

N: What's going on tomorrow?

Me: Miles, Jon and I were supposed to go out together. But Jon's busy or sick or something.

N: Oh really? What were you guys going to do?

Me: We were going to go clubbing!

N: Clubbing? Where were you guys planning to go? WeHo?

Me: Haha (nervously). Yea.

And that was the end of the conversation. So you see, I could've easily just slipped it in at the end: "N, I'm gay." But something held me back from doing it. I know that N is one of my friends that I want to come out to next. I just need to do it and not chicken out. Guess I'll keep everyone posted on that.

In other news, remember those short shorts that I ordered for my Halloween costume? Well, I found out that they were back ordered and weren't going to be arriving in time!! So I contacted the shop immediately and asked them to just give me the next size up (which they had available). Luckily, they were able to make that change right away, and it looks like I'll be getting it by the beginning of next week! WHEW!

And then tonight, I decided to put on what I do have of my costume and do a little photo shoot to see if it's going to look ok and believable. So here's what it looks like.

I'm wearing boxers instead of my short shorts. They're the length that they would be, but the real ones will be a darker blue. I'm also going to have long tube socks and shoes on. Do you think I need to iron on some sort of school logo or anything on my white shirt? I'm just not sure people will understand P.E. Teacher from what I'm wearing. Let me know what you think!

J = Jamie

I need help. In more ways than one. But, more specifically, for now, I need help with a decision.

I was going through Facebook yesterday, just browsing through profiles, and I come across J's profile. And since I'm not using initials/nicknames anymore, I can reveal his name to be Jamie. (which makes it so much easier for me because you don't know how many times I've just typed out his name in previous posts and had to catch it later) So I'm just looking through the profile and I got this horrible urge to message him to see how he was doing. I guess I just wanted to hear from him. And I also wanted to see if he would respond. So I wrote a very simple, short message:

Hey, was thinking of you and just wanted to see how you were doing. Hope all is well.

-Doug :)

I wrote it and I sent it. The last that I had heard from him was when I was in Florida, after our awesome date, which was almost a month ago now. Well, tonight, at around 6:30pm, I get an email in my mailbox letting me know that I had a new message from Jamie on Facebook. It reads:

Hey Doug . . . Everything is going well, work is keeping me so busy these days. The fall release slipped into winter and now we are all working overtime into winter. I hope all is well with you.

Jamie

So he talks about his work a little. He tells me he's very busy. And he hopes all is well with me. I'm not really so sure what to think about this message. I mean, it was GREAT that he responded - and in such a quick manner too! But the message really doesn't say much. It doesn't talk about whether or not he's making a business trip out to California or not, like he had discussed before. Of course, I didn't ask about it either. It also doesn't really encourage me to respond back to him.

So should I respond to him? What should I write if I do respond? Should it be another short message, or should it be longer so that maybe it'd elicit a longer response from him? Should I ask about whether or not he's coming out to California again? I really am not trying to pursue him anymore. I basically just want to stay friends with him because he's an awesome guy that I want to keep in my life. What do I write? Please help me!

The Election, Prop 8, and Mom

I'm now 24 years old and it's time that I take a more active part in this country's politics. I already missed the 2004 elections. I let that opportunity pass by because I was too lazy to be informed. But I am changing that. I want to know about the issues and the policies. I want to read the news and be updated on what the candidates are saying. I want to exercise my right as a US citizen to vote.

The California Voter's Information Guide was sent to my house about 2 weeks ago. It details all the Propositions in California, giving the background, the proposal, the fiscal effects, and then has the argument for each proposition and the rebuttal for it. I'm hoping that everyone received one in the mail. Well, I had mine. And then being the idiot that I am, I probably threw a pile of junk mail on top of it, and then threw away the entire stack. I was so excited to read through it, use a highlighter, and write annotations on it. But now I don't have one. Yes, I know there's one online, but I don't want to just read it online and I don't want to print out 100+ pages! So I've been asking my friends to give me a copy if they have an extra one or if they don't plan on using it. I'm hoping I'll get it tomorrow... because I want to give myself enough time to read through all of it!

In other news, I went home to my family this weekend. My family had the Voter's information Guide, but it was in Chinese so I couldn't use it. But my mom was flipping through it and she asked me what each one was and what I thought about it. I told her I didn't know because I threw mine away... but then she mentioned Proposition 8. She asked me what I think about it. So I told her that Prop 8 is trying to overturn the courts' decision and that it would be taking away the right for people to get married. I don't think we went any further than that. But in my mind, I was actually afraid that she would ask for more explanation. I was afraid that if she asked me more about it, I would get pretty heated about the whole thing. And I was afraid that if I got heated about it, that she would ask why I feel so passionate about this issue. And I was afraid that if she asked me why I was so passionate about it, that I would have to tell her that it's because I'm gay.

All of this seriously went through my head as I was standing next to her with the guide opened in front of us. I just don't think I'm anywhere near ready to come out to my mom. I think I'm going to have to do this gradually. Maybe feel out how she feels about gay people in general. I have a pretty good idea already, but I'm basing that on just the general view of gay people in the Asian community/culture. But maybe it's different with my mom. Maybe she'd be more accepting. And maybe it'd be different if it was her son. I just don't know. Maybe it'll take years before I'm ready to come out to her.. and maybe it'll be never. But for now, it's just a very daunting thought.

This is what I hope will happen if/when I do come out to my mom:

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

DOUG and MOM are sitting on the couch, TV on in the background.

DOUG

I have something to tell you.

MOM

What is it?

DOUG

(hesitantly)
Well, I wanted to let you know
that I'm gay.

MOM stops focusing on the television and looks at DOUG. She looks into his eyes and wants to say something. But without saying anything, she leans over and gives DOUG a hug as if to say that she accepts it and that she loves him no matter what. They stay in a tight embrace, tears running down DOUG's eyes out of happiness.

My Birthday

Disclaimer: Some parts of this blog post are sexually explicit ;)

First, thanks to those who wished me a happy birthday ;)

So on this Friday, I stay up chatting with Barry on Yahoo Messenger until 6am. We find out that we have a lot of the same tastes in music. We start swapping some MP3s, and I find out that you can give songs as gifts on iTunes! Barry sends me two songs through iTunes as a birthday present and I am so thankful. He's so cute for sending me something for my birthday. And I thank him from the bottom of my heart for spending money on me.

After the chat and sleep, I wake up at 12 noon and start my day off with some lounging on the couch. I open up my laptop and go through my routine of checking MySpace, Facebook, and the blogs. Then I open up an internet gay dating hookup site and browse through the profiles. I find a guy that more or less fits my "type": young, athletic, white boy with blonde hair and a good smile. So I send him a message to say hi. Not too much later, I receive a message back asking how I was doing and if I go to 24 Hour Fitness. So through a few rounds of messages back and forth, I tell him that yes, I have a membership, and sure I'll meet him there. I don't usually do this. And by "this", I mean I don't usually agree to random hookups. But I figure, hey, it's my birthday. I should do something fun!

I drive out to the gym and I enter the locker room. Immediately, I see 4 or 5 really hot, half naked guys getting dressed/undressed. Of course I also see 4 or 5 not so attractive guys as well, but I ignore them and focus (without being obvious, of course) on the hot ones. I get undressed as well, feeling completely inadequate compared to all the hotties, which just motivates me to go to the gym more often now, and put on my swim trunks and go out to the pool. I spot him doing some laps in the pool so I take the lane next to him and also do some laps. Swimming is good for my scoliosis, and I have lots of fun swimming - I don't know why I don't do it more often. Back to Swimming Hottie...., we do some continuous laps and we find ourselves taking breaks at the same time right next to each other. We take some glances at each other and make eye contact a few times. He then gets out of the pool and walks over to get into the jacuzzi. I follow suit after doing a few more laps. More glances and awkward eye contact. Other people enter and exit the jacuzzi. We finally give each other the signal to get the heck out of there. So I go back in the locker room and see more hotties down the locker aisles. One of them is checking himself out in the mirror. I would too if I had a body like that! Yum. I get dressed and see Swimming Hottie walking out, so I follow.

I follow him down to a quiet place outside and he tells me that he lives just down the street but his roommates are home. Darn. So I ask if he wants to exchange numbers, so we do. And I head back to my car, trying to decide what else to do for the rest of my birthday. As I put my gym bag in the trunk of my Prius, I get a text from Swimming Hottie: "Wanna fool around in your car?" I respond, "Sure." So I pick him up and we drive across the street to a parking structure and drive up to the top floor. I park, leave the car on of course, and we go about having some fun. He reaches over and starts to take off my shorts. I do the same and he's already hard as a rock. He leans over and we make out with each other for a while. It's still a weird sensation to feel stubble when I kiss but I think I quite enjoy that. And then he leans over and starts giving me a blowjob. He comes back up after about a minute or two and I reach over and play with him. I'm about to lean over to reciprocate, but he tells me to stop jerking him, and then 2 seconds later, he starts cumming. If it wasn't clear before, we had only parked maybe 4 minutes prior to this. Sigh... I'm still pretty hard so I just start jerking myself off. After he finishes and cleans up, he reaches over to finish me off. I just try to cum as quick as possible because it's just awkward now and I kind of want to laugh out loud at him for cumming so quickly. I drive him back to the gym because he rode his bike and I drop him off. Not so sure I'll meet up with him again... but I guess it was still fun to do something that I don't usually do. Plus it gave my confidence and ego a much needed boost.

And since I drove out to Costa Mesa, I decide to head out to the Apple Store there to check out the newly updated MacBooks and MacBook Pros. I find them to be incredibly sleek and sexy! I think I might have cum a second time as I play with these incredible machines. Hehe. But unfortunately, I can't afford to even pay for a nice dinner, so I'm going to just have to be satisfied with my current, outdated MacBook for the time being.

I also visit the Sports Chalet next door to buy accessories for my Halloween costume! After a few days of thinking of concepts and designing and searching on the internet (and some inspiration from Ja over at Gym Ra(n)t), I finally decide that this year, I'm going to be a P.E. Teacher! Of course, a sexy, pervy, hot P.E. Teacher. ;) So basically, I buy wrist bands, a headband, and whistle. I already have long tube socks and some sneakers. And I'm getting a pair of hot short shorts from InternationalJock.com - and this is what they look like:

If only I looked like that!!

I'm just deciding on what to wear for a top. Something tight and sexy. Maybe a sleeveless T. But should I print some sort of logo or anything on it? Will I need to in order to convey the P.E. Teacher look? Or will everything else be good enough? I'm going to carry around a clipboard for pictures, but I'm ditching that when the party begins. But I'm REALLY excited about going to my two planned Halloween parties this year! I just need to make sure to head out to the beach to tan my legs if I'm going to wear those short shorts! That, or get some bronzer!

The rest of the day, I hang out with the ex-girlfriend. And then I have a nice dinner with close friends at Chili's. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I'm an ultra-lightweight when it comes to alcohol, but I decide that my birthday is an appropriate to get a drink. So I leave it up to my friends to choose a drink for me. The only rule is that they have to pick a drink where they don't think I can taste the alcohol, because if I taste it, it's guaranteed to come back up. So they order the Reggae Sunsplash. I don't even know what's in it, but I drink it and it tastes good. So I drink some more. But within a minute, my face turns bright red. And the next few minutes, my friends take pictures of my incredibly flushed face.

I get home after the dinner and decide that since I'm still dressed up nicely from my dinner that this is as good a time as any to take some pictures of myself. I snap about 10-15 pictures, keep about 8, and am now posting one for y'all.


I quickly upload this photo to the internet dating hookup site and start browsing again. I find another boy fitting my type and proceed to message him as well. To my surprise, I get a response. 2 out of 2 for the day. He asks me how I was doing, so I tell him I was doing pretty well and that I just had dinner with my friends for my birthday. He then wishes me a happy birthday and tells me that he thinks that every guy should get a blowjob on his birthday. Hmmm... again, not something that I would do normally, but since it is still my birthday for another hour, I play along. After a few more messages back and forth, I agree to having some fun with him. Then he tells me, "Well, it's pretty late tonight and I have to work tomorrow." Failure... Or so I thought. After the "pressure" of meeting up was gone, we continue to send each other messages back and forth. We swap pictures of ourselves, G-rated and some body shots. We then schedule a time where we can meet up, which will be this Wednesday night. And we swap phone numbers so we can text each other. By this time, it's about 3:00am, so the "I have to work tomorrow" thing was just a lie, but I'm glad he did because I probably would have felt REALLY uncomfortable meeting him without getting to know him more. Swimming Hottie was different because I met him at a public place, but this guy I would be meeting him either at his place or my place. Anyway, I get a text from him at 3:30am asking me for a picture of my cock hard. I think, what the heck, why not? So I take a quick one on my iPhone and send it to him (and I make sure to delete it right away because I know my friends/family like to play with my iPhone... so Miles and Jon - you won't find anything naughty on my iPhone! LOL). He texts me back a few times to tell me that I'm cute and hott (definite ego-booster) and then he asks if I can take a picture of me cumming. So I tell him I can do one better and I give him my xtube channel. (Not going to publicize my channel here tho) He says he really enjoyed it and that he is really looking forward to having some fun with me on Wednesday. I must say that I'm looking forward to it too! And then all of a sudden, it's 4:30am and I decide to call it a night and end my birthday celebration because I'm dead tired.

But all in all, for an unplanned birthday, I had a pretty exciting day, wouldn't you say? A sort of low key, yet adventurous and fun birthday. Looking forward to seeing what's in stored for me this year!

Today...

... is my birthday!

Introductions #2

So in my Wedding post, I said that I'm doing away with nicknames and aliases. But after receiving a comment from Joshua, I realized that I'm forgetting to "reveal" the most important alias of all... MY OWN! No need to hide behind initials. So...

Hi. My name is Doug. And I'm a blog-aholic.

Lectured

I just spent the last hour talking with my Dad online. "Talking with" is probably not the right phrase. "Being lectured by" is more appropriate for what happened.

Yes, I work at Disneyland. No, I do not get paid well. Yes, I am qualified to receive a higher salary. But NO, I do not want to leave my job right now. My Dad doesn't understand that, to me, happiness and enjoyment in my job is of utmost importance. I like going to work and really being happy about what I do. I don't want to go to work and just count the minutes until the day is over. That's not the way to live life.

All the education that I've received has really been to appease my Mom and Dad. Of course, they always wanted me to be a doctor. And then when I wasn't going to do that, it was a lawyer. And then when I wasn't going to do that, it was an engineer. And then I/they settled for computer programmer. And they must have wanted to disown me when I switched majors and went into Economics for no apparent reason. Well, I eventually graduated from UCLA, just like they wanted. But I didn't want to do anything Economics or Finance related, which pissed them off royally. So I said I'd study to be a teacher. So this the past year and half, I received my teaching credential in high school mathematics and am getting my Masters in Education - all to make my parents happy.

But WHY am I putting myself through all this to make THEM happy?? I never WANTED to go back to school after graduating UCLA. And after my teaching credential, I definitely didn't want to continue to get my Masters. But somehow, their influence got to me and I gave in. It's ridiculous what I've done to make them happy.. all throughout my life. And I'm tired of it.

I flat out told my dad I KNOW that my salary is minimal right now and I know there are better paying jobs out there. I KNOW all that already. But I am happy right now where I am and I want to be happy with what I do for a living. Teaching jobs will always be there.. especially in Math. I have no worries that I can find a job if I need it. But for now, I want to do what I want to do, and that's stay at the job that I am now. I will look for other jobs WITHIN Disney, and if the right one comes along, I will apply. But I am staying where I am now because I like it.

I didn't say THAT much, but parts of it were there. And after that, I just told him, it's 2am here now (he works in China) so I'm going to sleep. Goodnight. And then I logged off.

My Mom and Dad team up to do this to me every month or so and it just gets me real frustrated. Do they really NEED to lecture me like this all the time? Do they really think I don't know? It has just become annoying... argh. But I don't want to give in this time. I DON'T. I WON'T! I will do what I think is right and what will make me happy. There will come a time where I will need another job, but for now, I enjoy what I do and I am going to do it as long as I am still capable. And that's that!

Still Doing Those Push Ups

So I'm still working on my one hundred push ups program. I am on the last week now (Week 6) but I don't see how I'm supposed to be able to 100 at the end of Week 6. Well, let me clarify... I'm actually on Week 6, Part B. I'm doing Week 6 over again, but in higher level. Each week has 3 levels, and I plan on doing all 3 parts. I was able to do 50 pushups before I started to feel real strain in the muscles in my arms. That's REAL good for me! But how am I supposed to get to 100?? I'm totally not ready for that yet. I think the push up program should be an 8 week program.

But I can definitely see the progress in my chest. And I am completely happy about it. I've also been (trying) to eat better, healthier. But anyone who has ever tried any sort of "diet" knows, it doesn't always work out. BUT, I am still seeing a difference and I took a picture of myself and I think I look amazingly skinny/fit in it. (Came out a little conceited there.. but whatever. lol)


This Halloween, I really want to be able to wear something more revealing than my stupid Scream costume that I've had forever. (Well, last year, I was a SARS patient because I didn't have my costume with me.. and it was just a mask over my face and some makeup for some sunken eyes) But maybe something a little more fun and, dare I say, sexier would be most desirable this year. Anyone have any good ideas for a costume??

Random Question of the Week (because I like to know more about my readers):
What's your favorite current TV show? And current meaning it has new episodes this season.
P.S. This is a REAL tough question for me because I love SO many TV shows... so I'm actually going to have to think about it a while before I give my answers. lol.

The Wedding

So Saturday was the wedding. Here's the previous update on the wedding if you haven't read the drama. Our friends decided to just go and make the best out of the night and just go with the flow. A bunch of us got together at my apartment to get ready and have some wine before we left for the ceremony. Here we are all dressed up and ready to go

(left to right) Bethany, Miles (Milo), Katy, me, N

There I am second from the right with my white shirt, black tie, black coat, blank pants, and CHARCOAL grey vest. I must say I looked spiffy. And all my friends agreed. Made me feel a little better about myself.

And by the way, I'm just going to stop thinking of nicknames or aliases for my friends because they're not going to find my blog and it's too much of a hassle thinking of and remembering aliases for all the people I want to talk about. So unless their name is super unique, I won't be using initials or aliases anymore. Ok.. now back to the wedding.

Like I said, we had some wine, and then drove over to the Disneyland Hotel, where the ceremony was being held. And being the cheesy performers that we are, we decided to have a photo shoot as we walked down the parking lot.

Aren't we the biggest nerds ever? We gotta work on our modeling skills, even though it does look like Miles is definitely ready for catalog already. We walk into the waiting area and we immediately start looking at what everyone is wearing. TUX MY ASS! Not one person was wearing a tux or anything resembling a tux. Not even the fathers. They were all wearing their nice suits and a nice black tie. Not a bowtie. A regular tie. What the heck was Drew (DarkD) smoking?! So now we're definitely dressed for the part - must say we all looked REAL good compared to many others.

Then it was time to walk over to the Rose Gardens. One of the wedding coordinators is our friend that we work with and she informed us that the floral designer was the same guy who designed Eva Longoria and Tony Parkers wedding!! And you can definitely see that Drew and Colin ([Fiance]) spent that money in these pictures.



The wedding was really touching. They had some family members come up and do some readings of poems about love and marriage. But it was a good length of time, so not boring, and it was just a beautiful setup. I wish their microphones were turned up a little higher though because I couldn't really hear them too well. But they made their vows and sealed them with a kiss. And we all clapped and were happy for them.

We were walked over to the Grand Californian Hotel and had some hors d'oeurves before we were let into the reception hall. Those appetizers were SO good. I ate it all and had seconds and thirds. I'm such a fat bitch....

After eating all that, we sat down at our table and they announced the entrance of the two grooms. It was dark but I tried to take some pictures. I think it actually turned out nicely because the light and the shadows on them in the picture makes it look cool. See for yourself.

Colin (left) and Drew (right)

The food was absolutely exquisite and scrumptious! They had mixed greens with a creamy balsamic vinegarette. And the main dish was a NY Strip Steak that was seasoned and cooked to perfection in a mustard Merlot sauce. Wow! After dinner, we of course got on the dance floor and partied it up. Drew and Colin came up to us and we all congratulated them. Drew gave me a big hug and told me that I looked good. THAT'S RIGHT I look good! Glad he acknowledged it. So I forgave him for all the douche-iness.

Bethany and me, having fun on the dance floor

It was a late wedding. The ceremony started at 7:30pm and so we didn't leave the reception until 12am. Exhausted and slightly drunk, Miles and N stayed over at my place and we all conked out real quick.

The next day, we lounged around my apartment for a good part of the morning and early afternoon. We finally decided to make use of our day around 3:00pm and head out to Disneyland for a fun day NOT working. We watched our friends in the parades and then went on a few rides. As we were waiting for the first parade, we saw Drew and Colin on the opposite side of the street and we yelled for them and waved hi. Drew runs across the street and starts talking to us. But Colin was apparently too good for us to attempt to cross the street. He stood on the other side with his snobby collar popped on his snobby baby blue polo shirt and his snobby bermuda shorts. Didn't even wave Hi to us. Just looked down at his Blackberry and attempted to look busy. Drew promised us that he'd call us after the parade, but guess what?... he never did.

I have a feeling that we've officially lost one of our good friends...

As Promised...

Here's the other side of the jack-o-lantern! Even cuter, right? And oh yeah, don't know those people... they just got in the way of my shot.

Testing. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Edit: So I just wanted to test posting images directly from my iPhone. Guess it works! :) (btw, isn't that the cutest jack-o-latern you've ever seen? heh)