TIRED but blogging anyway

So I'm pretty tired right now - just had a late night rehearsal at Disney. FUN though. I'm going to have a GREAT time performing this Christmas! If you are in the neighborhood, email me! Come visit me! ;)

Prior to that, I had driven home to have lunch with my mom. I had a good time with her, eating at one of our favorite little cafes. The food was very good today. They make this AMAZING cream soup. YUM! My mom and I talked about the election and how she voted for McCain because she felt bad for the old guy. She wanted to give him a vote for toughing out the grueling campaign schedule at his age. LOL. And I really did laugh out loud at her for her reasoning behind voting for McCain. Well, that wasn't her only reason, but it was great that she told me that first. ;)

Then we touched upon Prop 8 a bit. She said something that was REALLY encouraging: "It's very surprising that so many people voted for Yes on 8." This may seem like a pretty ordinary statement to make, but to ME, it sounds like my mom may actually be quite accepting of gay people, an eventually, be accepting of her son. Her saying that put a smile on my face. But I didn't discuss the proposition any further.

In other news, I came out to two of my friends in the past 24 hours. Last night, I was talking to Davie, one of my great friends from work. I've known him for about 2 years now. And we've gotten pretty close so I felt very comfortable coming out to him. We were talking about Prop 8 and how it wasn't going to pass. And of course, I did this online, because I'm incapable of having face to face conversations:

Davie: Cheer up, Doug. You can still get married. ha.

Me: Oh Davie... I'm disappointed because I can't now. Didn't you wonder why I was so passionate about No on 8?

Davie: Oh Doug. I always knewwwwww. I was waiting for YOU to tell me.

Me: :) You should feel quite special. lol

Davie: haha. Wait until you see my [MySpace] bulletin! JK!

Me: DUMB! I'll kill you!

HAHA, I love Davie. He's so hilarious. He seriously makes me laugh every day. I was really glad that I told him. Because then he said he's hook me up with some guys. LOL.

The other friend that I came out to is actually one of my best friends from high school. Sean was one of the few out kids in high school, and we became real good friends through choir. He goes to school up in Santa Cruz but we've tried to keep in touch as much as possible. This morning, we talked about Prop 8, of course. Went through some statistics from exit polls (showing that the UNEDUCATED idiots were some of the groups that voted Yes) and then I just had this urge to be honest with him and tell him that I'm gay. (Oh and btw, again, online):

Me: So I have something to tell you. I just wanted to let you know that I'm gay. and sorry for telling you online, but you know me... I hate talking on the phone. And I can't tell you in person because you're far away. So there.

Sean: Wow. Well, I mean, however you want to tell me that's cool, right? But wow - Doug! I'm so happy and honored that you told me that.

Me: Well, if anything, I should've told you sooner. but I'm glad I told you.

Sean: No, I mean, it's whenever you're ready.

Seriously am glad I told him. He was the one person from high school that I wanted to tell. So it's great that I can finally be open with him about it.

So all in all, a pretty good day. But now I'm dead tired. And I didn't even shower... guess I'm showering tomorrow morning because my eyes are getting droopy.

Oh and btw, I want to welcome Barry to my blog! I just told him about my blogging addiction ;) and he was very ... chuffed? (... is that what you Brits say?) to find himself mentioned multiple times in my blog. Well, I told him.. He's a pretty big part of my life right now! We chat online almost every day and I tell him most everything that happens in my life. So of course he's in this blog! It's a wonder I don't mention him more often! So Barry: WELCOME!

Election Day!

It's Decision '08! Today is the day! Election Day! Hope you've already went out and voted! If not, what are you waiting for?! GO! I already mailed in my ballot so I get to sit on my couch and watch MSNBC. :)

So, I called my mom about an hour ago. She had just went out to go vote. I've blogged previously about asking her about Prop 8 (which seeks to eliminate gay marriage in California). She was still unsure at that time. And I tried to get her to understand Prop 8 as much as possible without seeming too passionate about it. I mean, I didn't want to out myself yet. But I was still worried that she would be voting Yes on 8 because she has traditional views on most everything. She is Chinese afterall... and Chinese people are quite traditional. So when I called her and asked about it, I was extremely delighted to hear that she voted NO on Prop 8! She said she decided, ultimately, to vote No, although it sounded like she was a little reluctant to do so. But she added, "It just didn't seem fair to do that to them." Despite the reluctant tone in her voice, I still think that's a good sign for me. Maybe it wouldn't go quite as bad if I were to come out to her.

The Election, Prop 8, and Mom

I'm now 24 years old and it's time that I take a more active part in this country's politics. I already missed the 2004 elections. I let that opportunity pass by because I was too lazy to be informed. But I am changing that. I want to know about the issues and the policies. I want to read the news and be updated on what the candidates are saying. I want to exercise my right as a US citizen to vote.

The California Voter's Information Guide was sent to my house about 2 weeks ago. It details all the Propositions in California, giving the background, the proposal, the fiscal effects, and then has the argument for each proposition and the rebuttal for it. I'm hoping that everyone received one in the mail. Well, I had mine. And then being the idiot that I am, I probably threw a pile of junk mail on top of it, and then threw away the entire stack. I was so excited to read through it, use a highlighter, and write annotations on it. But now I don't have one. Yes, I know there's one online, but I don't want to just read it online and I don't want to print out 100+ pages! So I've been asking my friends to give me a copy if they have an extra one or if they don't plan on using it. I'm hoping I'll get it tomorrow... because I want to give myself enough time to read through all of it!

In other news, I went home to my family this weekend. My family had the Voter's information Guide, but it was in Chinese so I couldn't use it. But my mom was flipping through it and she asked me what each one was and what I thought about it. I told her I didn't know because I threw mine away... but then she mentioned Proposition 8. She asked me what I think about it. So I told her that Prop 8 is trying to overturn the courts' decision and that it would be taking away the right for people to get married. I don't think we went any further than that. But in my mind, I was actually afraid that she would ask for more explanation. I was afraid that if she asked me more about it, I would get pretty heated about the whole thing. And I was afraid that if I got heated about it, that she would ask why I feel so passionate about this issue. And I was afraid that if she asked me why I was so passionate about it, that I would have to tell her that it's because I'm gay.

All of this seriously went through my head as I was standing next to her with the guide opened in front of us. I just don't think I'm anywhere near ready to come out to my mom. I think I'm going to have to do this gradually. Maybe feel out how she feels about gay people in general. I have a pretty good idea already, but I'm basing that on just the general view of gay people in the Asian community/culture. But maybe it's different with my mom. Maybe she'd be more accepting. And maybe it'd be different if it was her son. I just don't know. Maybe it'll take years before I'm ready to come out to her.. and maybe it'll be never. But for now, it's just a very daunting thought.

This is what I hope will happen if/when I do come out to my mom:

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

DOUG and MOM are sitting on the couch, TV on in the background.

DOUG

I have something to tell you.

MOM

What is it?

DOUG

(hesitantly)
Well, I wanted to let you know
that I'm gay.

MOM stops focusing on the television and looks at DOUG. She looks into his eyes and wants to say something. But without saying anything, she leans over and gives DOUG a hug as if to say that she accepts it and that she loves him no matter what. They stay in a tight embrace, tears running down DOUG's eyes out of happiness.