Thursday, October 16, 2008


I just spent the last hour talking with my Dad online. "Talking with" is probably not the right phrase. "Being lectured by" is more appropriate for what happened.

Yes, I work at Disneyland. No, I do not get paid well. Yes, I am qualified to receive a higher salary. But NO, I do not want to leave my job right now. My Dad doesn't understand that, to me, happiness and enjoyment in my job is of utmost importance. I like going to work and really being happy about what I do. I don't want to go to work and just count the minutes until the day is over. That's not the way to live life.

All the education that I've received has really been to appease my Mom and Dad. Of course, they always wanted me to be a doctor. And then when I wasn't going to do that, it was a lawyer. And then when I wasn't going to do that, it was an engineer. And then I/they settled for computer programmer. And they must have wanted to disown me when I switched majors and went into Economics for no apparent reason. Well, I eventually graduated from UCLA, just like they wanted. But I didn't want to do anything Economics or Finance related, which pissed them off royally. So I said I'd study to be a teacher. So this the past year and half, I received my teaching credential in high school mathematics and am getting my Masters in Education - all to make my parents happy.

But WHY am I putting myself through all this to make THEM happy?? I never WANTED to go back to school after graduating UCLA. And after my teaching credential, I definitely didn't want to continue to get my Masters. But somehow, their influence got to me and I gave in. It's ridiculous what I've done to make them happy.. all throughout my life. And I'm tired of it.

I flat out told my dad I KNOW that my salary is minimal right now and I know there are better paying jobs out there. I KNOW all that already. But I am happy right now where I am and I want to be happy with what I do for a living. Teaching jobs will always be there.. especially in Math. I have no worries that I can find a job if I need it. But for now, I want to do what I want to do, and that's stay at the job that I am now. I will look for other jobs WITHIN Disney, and if the right one comes along, I will apply. But I am staying where I am now because I like it.

I didn't say THAT much, but parts of it were there. And after that, I just told him, it's 2am here now (he works in China) so I'm going to sleep. Goodnight. And then I logged off.

My Mom and Dad team up to do this to me every month or so and it just gets me real frustrated. Do they really NEED to lecture me like this all the time? Do they really think I don't know? It has just become annoying... argh. But I don't want to give in this time. I DON'T. I WON'T! I will do what I think is right and what will make me happy. There will come a time where I will need another job, but for now, I enjoy what I do and I am going to do it as long as I am still capable. And that's that!


Joshua said...

YOU GO, D!! :D My parents never pushed me to be anything they wanted me to be, so I never had the pressure of having to be an engineer or lawyer or anything like that. You should not be anything you don't want to be, even if it's completely in defiance with what your parents say. You'll blossom most when it's something you want to do, not just something you have to do. Jobs used to be just about paying the bills and stuff like that (I'm talking like Industrial Revolution), but not anymore--now it's about personal fulfillment and enjoyment. People should always do what they want to do--what they have a passion for--because that's where they will be the best at. And they'll love doing it. So if teaching isn't your thing, well, keep finding your thing! And also be proud you're an Anteater ;)

Anonymous said...

hey doug it's justin finally got over to reading ur blog - not to be mean or anything but if they're the ones paying ur bills (rent) then i think they're allowed to say what they want lol

Doug said...

joshua: thanks for the encouraging words. but I STILL can't believe that your parents never pushed you to be a doctor! lol.

justin: wait... how'd you know they're paying my rent? LOL. Ok so yeah, they pay my rent BUT not all of it. And I pay my own utilities and car payments and everything else. But the point is, I'm sick of them having some sort of expectation of what I SHOULD be and SHOULD do. It just gets real frustrating.

Anonymous said...

I know this is an ancient post, but, whatever... one option that worked for me is this: when they start lecturing, turn the conversation to them and start asking them why they need to lecture you. As in:
Mom: you know you could be getting a higher paying job.
You: and why do you feel the need to tell me that?
Mom: because I just want what is best for you.
You: and why do you think you know what is best for me?
Mom: because I'm your mother!
You: so being my mother means that you know what is best for my own life?
Mom: Look, I just think you could get a better paying job!
You: and why do you feel the need to tell me that?

Aek said...

Oh man, Asian parents are intense. Fortunately for my parents, my brothers and I actually set ourselves up to "fit the mold." I'll be in med school next year, my next brother is currently pre-med (and kicking my ass at it when I was his age), and my youngest brother will be an engineer of some kind. As far as careers go, everything's going "according to plan."

There have been rough spots though, orgo almost made me want to quit.