Feeling Depressed

**Just letting everyone know, I put up an "Important People" and "Important Posts" section in the sidebar to help those who are new and want to know a little more about my life**

I can't help it but I'm feeling a bit depressed. First off, I woke today with pain in my left arm/shoulder. My shoulder has been bothering me for about 2 weeks now. It's due to lifting heavy "objects" at work. :P They first told me it was bicep tendinitis, but now I'm getting a tingling feeling down my arm and into my forearm. It used to only hurt when I would place my arm in a certain position or when I'm actually doing the lifting. But now, even when I'm just sitting here, I can feel the tingle. It's really bothering me now and it's just getting me down in the dumps that I can't use my arm that much and that I'm not working out my upper body at all anymore because of it. All my progress that I made with the Hundred Push Up Program is pretty much wasted now...

Second, I am plain broke. I have almost NO money in my bank account, yet I have a bunch more bills to pay this month. I can only barely afford food! I won't be able to buy anyone Christmas presents this year, and it just sucks. I'm so worried about my financial situation. I just need to get a 2nd job somewhere. I would LOVE to work at a Starbucks but I hear they're on a hiring freeze right now. I could start doing substitute work at middle and high schools but my schedule at my current job isn't going to allow for that until at least January... and I need the money NOW!

Third, I'm just plain lonely. I've expressed this before in previous posts. I just want someone to be there when I get home and give me a big hug and tell me they love me. HAHA. That's a lot to ask for. But it's just depressing that I'm nowhere near any of that stuff.

I don't like being depressed. I don't like to hang my head low. I don't like to frown. And especially compared to the problems and troubles that other bloggers are going through right now, mine are just plain silly. But I can't help it right now and I just need something/someone to get me out of this and tell me that everything is going to be alright.

Being Lazy... :(

So I've posted a few times about my Push Up program... Well, I've been a bit lazy these past 2 weeks. And I'm really disappointed in myself. It's been over 8 weeks since I've started the program and I still haven't been able to do 100 consecutive push ups. However, I HAVE done a LOT more push ups than I ever thought I could do. So that's definitely a positive. But I definitely want to keep up this program and do as many push ups as I can. I also want to start up a Bicep/Triceps program. Something to work on the bulge of my biceps. ;) If anyone has any good ideas (other than the bicep curl...), then let me know!!

Ok, I just saw an infomercial for the "Iron Gym" on TV. If anyone has this or has any experience with this thing (a pull up bar that you put on any door frame), then let me know!!

In other news, AJ from AJ's Ramblings has started a Google Group for all of us Gay/Bi Bloggers to join! I think it's a GREAT idea and I want to thank him for taking the time to set it up for us. It'll be a great way for us to keep in contact with everyone and just have discussions about anything and everything. So here's the link: Gay/Bi Bloggers. So go and discuss! But I hope that doesn't mean you guys will stop writing comments on my blog! LOL. I'm a comment whore and like all your comments and emails! ;)

EDIT: So right now, it's already 5:45am... why the heck am I still awake?! LOL.

Still Doing Those Push Ups

So I'm still working on my one hundred push ups program. I am on the last week now (Week 6) but I don't see how I'm supposed to be able to 100 at the end of Week 6. Well, let me clarify... I'm actually on Week 6, Part B. I'm doing Week 6 over again, but in higher level. Each week has 3 levels, and I plan on doing all 3 parts. I was able to do 50 pushups before I started to feel real strain in the muscles in my arms. That's REAL good for me! But how am I supposed to get to 100?? I'm totally not ready for that yet. I think the push up program should be an 8 week program.

But I can definitely see the progress in my chest. And I am completely happy about it. I've also been (trying) to eat better, healthier. But anyone who has ever tried any sort of "diet" knows, it doesn't always work out. BUT, I am still seeing a difference and I took a picture of myself and I think I look amazingly skinny/fit in it. (Came out a little conceited there.. but whatever. lol)


This Halloween, I really want to be able to wear something more revealing than my stupid Scream costume that I've had forever. (Well, last year, I was a SARS patient because I didn't have my costume with me.. and it was just a mask over my face and some makeup for some sunken eyes) But maybe something a little more fun and, dare I say, sexier would be most desirable this year. Anyone have any good ideas for a costume??

Random Question of the Week (because I like to know more about my readers):
What's your favorite current TV show? And current meaning it has new episodes this season.
P.S. This is a REAL tough question for me because I love SO many TV shows... so I'm actually going to have to think about it a while before I give my answers. lol.

Week 5 - Push Ups

Still doing my push ups - but I'm afraid Week 5 is kicking my ass already. I'm only on Day 1, and I had to take longer breaks than specified in the program. I made it through all the push ups, but it was tough. I had to do 40, 32, 30, 25, 40. That's 167 in total. Jeez that's a heck of a lot. I MIGHT actually repeat Week 4 just to build up the strength before going back to Week 5. The program does encourage you to repeat if you don't feel like your strength is ready for that week. OR, I might downgrade to the middle level on Week 5. (I guess you have to go check out the 100 Push-ups Program website to know what I'm talking about)

Damn, I'm tired now. I should get to sleep. I've got too much on my mind and I just want to sleep them off. Guess I'll have to save all of that for another blog.

Push-Ups: Week 3, Day 2

Oh. My. God.
Tonight's push-ups were really intense. Here's the breakdown: 27, 19, 19, 15, 25, with 90 seconds rest in between each set. That's 105 in total!!! I finished the first set of 27 and I was kinda tired already. And then I started my 19 and by the time I got to #15, my arms were shaking already, but I finished them without cheating. The next set of 19, I started shaking around 10 pushups. I had to push myself up into a downward dog position (hopefully you all know your Yoga poses) to give myself a little rest. I figure if I don't put my knees down on the ground, I'm not fully giving up. I finish the rest of the 19, but I was definitely tired and huffing and puffing. I tried to shake it off as much as I could and stretched out the muscles. I then started my 15 and had to take two downward dog breaks to finish it. And then finally, the last 25. THAT was so ridiculously hard! I took multiple breaks in order to get it done. BUT, I got it done!! I was dying by the end.. but I did them! 105 push-ups baby!!!

But now I'm pretty worried at how I'm going to do for the next day's session. 30, 22, 22, 20, 27!! AHHH!! 121 push-ups!!! oy... that's going to be REAL tough. I'm gonna stick to it and really push myself though. I REALLY want to achieve the goal of 100 consecutive push-ups and the old saying is true: NO PAIN, NO GAIN! BRING IT ON!!

Continue to Push Up

I just ended Week 2 of the One Hundred Push Ups Plan. Seriously, I recommend this program to anyone who wants to develop their chest muscles more or just want to be able to do more pushups. If someone told me that I would be doing over 70 push ups in week 2 of the program, I would think they were crazy. Of course, these aren't 70 straight push ups one right after the after. They're in "sets." 15, 15, 12, 12, and 20. (74 in total tonight). But by the end of Week 6, as long as I "pass" each week, I will be able to do 100 push ups without resting. That's just AMAZING! I really can see improvements in my chest area already and I'm excited to track the progress. Now I just need to make sure that I'm working other areas of my upper body as well. Need to work out the shoulders, the back, and the biceps/triceps more.

One Hundred Push-Ups: Week 2

I've made it past Week 1 of the "One Hundred Push-Ups" program and now I'm on day one of Week 2. I'm continuing to be very proud of myself for sticking to this program. In this first day of Week 2, I did less total push-ups than the last day of Week 1, but I had less time in between each set. So it definitely was a challenge to get through all of them, but I did it. And I did an extra 5 at the end too.

I'm beginning to see even more results in my chest. It's definitely more defined than it was two weeks ago and I'm very happy. Now I need to head to the gym more often and work on the arms, shoulders, and back too. I mean, it'll definitely help keep my mind off of J! Two birds with one stone. lol. Maybe when I see even more results, I'll post some before and after photos. It'll be good for myself to track my progress.

I'm also thinking about picking up some sort of outdoor hobby. Trying to decide what I want to do... but I need one because I'm sitting at home doing nothing during the day and that's not good! Any suggestions?

Push-Ups = Bigger Muscles = GOOD

So I blogged about my Push-Ups program before and I'm really proud of myself for sticking to it. It's only been 1 week, but STILL... that's good for me! I'm usually really bad when it comes to working out. But I'm really beginning to feel that being healthy and keeping fit is making me feel better about myself. I'm liking the progress that I'm making. the progress seems minimal, but each little step is a step towards the right direction. An example of this was just the other night. For my work, I get to wear different outfits as part of my job. And this summer, I had a pair of pants that fit me a little more snug than I would like. Every time I would try to button it, I'd have to suck in a little so that I could comfortably get it closed. And it would be slightly uncomfortable bending over to put my shoes on after they were buttoned. But two nights ago, after a week off from being in that outfit, I put those pants back on, and I COMFORTABLY buttoned the pants. My first thought was, "Are these my pants?!" I unbuttoned them and checked the label and it definitely had my name in them. lol. I think I walked around and told everyone around me about my accomplishment.

Well anyway, the push-ups program is working. Each time I do the push-ups, I feel that I have more strength to do more than I could before. I just finished Week 1 right now. This last day of Week 1 had me doing 15, then 13, then 10, then 10, and then as many as possible (but at least 15), with 2 minutes rest in between each set. I decided to set a goal of 20 for that last set. So in total, I did 68 pushups tonight! That's WAY more than I ever was able to do before. And just in this past week, I can kind of see the results in my chest, my shoulders, and my arms. And that's the area that I want to work on the most. So I'm really glad that I'm getting the results that I want.

In other fitness news, last night, our work had a pizza party/movie night in celebration of the end of the Summer period. (I know it's not ACTUALLY the end of summer yet... but for work, Labor Day marks the end of Summer) And at the party, I ate a slice of Cheese pizza, 2 slices of Pepperoni pizza, a slice of Supreme pizza, and a slice of garlic bread. Oh.. and a can of Coke. Sigh... so after doing that, I felt like a big fat pig. So I desperately needed to work it off. I decided to go to the gym and go swimming. I absolutely love the feeling of swimming. I'm not good at it (I hardly go anywhere when I'm doing the freestyle) but I just like it a lot. I did a whole bunch of laps until my arms felt like they were going to fall off. And I was able to try out my new Aussiebum swimwear. ;) I felt pretty sexy in them. Can't wait until I go to the beach in them. Here's what they look like:



If only I looked THAT good in them. haha. But yeah, I love them. I highly recommend them!

Anyway, the point is I had a good work out, I'm gaining a better body, and I'm proud of myself for sticking to it. ;)

One Hundred Pushups

Another reason I wanted to start a blog was to track my fitness. I'm really going to try and keep up with staying fit. I'm not completely out of shape, but I would like have a better, more fit body. And just stay healthy.

So the first real plan that I'm sticking to is the "one hundred push ups" plan that was recommended to me by a friend from the internet. Basically, you follow a routine of ascending number of push ups throughout 8 weeks, and by the end, you will be able to do 100 consecutive push ups. Sounds pretty cool right? I just started Week 1, and I'm happy to say that I've stayed with it! HAHA. I'm hoping that this blog will motivate me to keep going.

If you're interested in this routine as well, you can visit it here: one hundred push ups