Being Lazy... :(

So I've posted a few times about my Push Up program... Well, I've been a bit lazy these past 2 weeks. And I'm really disappointed in myself. It's been over 8 weeks since I've started the program and I still haven't been able to do 100 consecutive push ups. However, I HAVE done a LOT more push ups than I ever thought I could do. So that's definitely a positive. But I definitely want to keep up this program and do as many push ups as I can. I also want to start up a Bicep/Triceps program. Something to work on the bulge of my biceps. ;) If anyone has any good ideas (other than the bicep curl...), then let me know!!

Ok, I just saw an infomercial for the "Iron Gym" on TV. If anyone has this or has any experience with this thing (a pull up bar that you put on any door frame), then let me know!!

In other news, AJ from AJ's Ramblings has started a Google Group for all of us Gay/Bi Bloggers to join! I think it's a GREAT idea and I want to thank him for taking the time to set it up for us. It'll be a great way for us to keep in contact with everyone and just have discussions about anything and everything. So here's the link: Gay/Bi Bloggers. So go and discuss! But I hope that doesn't mean you guys will stop writing comments on my blog! LOL. I'm a comment whore and like all your comments and emails! ;)

EDIT: So right now, it's already 5:45am... why the heck am I still awake?! LOL.

What Happens In Vegas....

.... doesn't stay in Vegas when who is involved has a blog to write! It's already Wednesday morning and I feel bad that I haven't written earlier. But better late than never right? So many things happened in Vegas, but maybe I can kill two birds with one stone. Everyone has been doing their "10 Things" list on their blogs, so I might as well do that same, but use it to write about Vegas! (WARNING: this is a SUPER long post! lol)

So just a little background, I went with a group of my friends to Vegas. There were 4 of us the first night (Eric, Jon, Kelly, and me) and then 6 of us the second night (ML and Miles drove up themselves). Then we all left to go back home together on Sunday afternoon.

So here are my 10+ Things That Happened in Vegas (And since I've been so late posting this, I'm going to make it up by making a picture blog):

1. The first thing that we did after we checked into our hotel at the MGM Grand Casino and Hotel was go downstairs to its little shopping area and get drinks at Fat Tuesday. For those who don't know what Fat Tuesday is, it's a little store that sells blended alcoholic drinks in mugs, glasses, and jugs. And they have many flavors - most of them VERY good. We got there and had jello shots right away. Of course, it had to be cherry flavor jello... BLECH. If it was any other flavor, I would like it more. I just hate cherry. It always tastes like medicine to me.

Our hotel: The MGM Grand! (That's Kelly in the reflection)

2. The Planet Hollywood Hotel and Casino was THE hangout for our group this trip. After our shots at the Fat Tuesday in MGM, we walked over to the Fat Tuesday at Planet Hollywood and got drinks there. Another friend from work, Chris, was in Vegas with his friends at the same time we were, and it just so happened that they were at that Fat Tuesday too! While we were in line to get drinks, I felt someone put their hands on my shoulder and I thought, "Who the hell is touching me?!" And I turned around, and it was Chris! He was already pretty drunk. Apparently, they had been sitting in front of the Fat Tuesday for a while. After we got our drinks (I got a Bellini, which is basically Peach Schnapps and Champagne), we all sat down together and chatted for a good 30 minutes to an hour. Just hanging out and getting drunk! I kept taking sips of the drink because I knew I needed to take it slow or else I'd get sick. But the drink tasted soooo good that I drank a LOT of it in a short period of time. So, that meant that my face got REAL red and hot, and I got kind of loud. My friends thought it was funny. :)

(left to right)
Me, Kelly, Chris, Jon, and Eric

3. After we said goodbye to Chris and his friends, we went to the lounge inside the MGM Grand Casino: Tabu. We got in free because Jon knows someone in the Cirque du Soleil show @ the MGM, KA, and he got us into the lounge. It was a nice place. Pretty small, since it really is just a lounge and not a club. But people were dancing, and so we danced. Unfortunately, there wasn't much to look at around us. The crowd was definitely an older crowd, filled with guys that can't dance and girls that think that just being slutty means dancing. So, after about 10-15 minutes of this place, we decided to leave. I guess it wasn't that bad, considering it was free to get in. Just wish it was a little better. And afterwards, we decided to head back to the hotel room, where my friends called it a night.


4. And while Kelly and Eric decided to stay in, Jon and I went downstairs because I wanted to try my hand at roulette. So here was my plan. I'd play 3 rounds MAXIMUM. 1st round: I bet $10 on RED. If I lose, I go back upstairs. If I win, I play again. 2nd round: I bet all $20 on RED. Again, if I lose, I go back upstairs. But if I win, I move on to the next round. 3rd round: I bet $20 on RED again, and pocketing $20. If I lose, then I still have $20. But if I win, I have $60, and will have been $50 richer. And why just RED? Because Red is the color of fortune in China (along with blood and Communism... but that's besides the point). So I get to an empty roulette and exchange chips for the $10. Right as I do that, 3 older guys come to the table and exchange for chips too, but they each put down $100... How embarrassing... Anyway, I bet RED. First spin: Red 19! NICE. So then I put all $20 on RED again. Second spin: Black something. Don't remember the number, because I lost. So, unfortunately, my plan didn't work out very well. Upon further analysis of my betting, in Round 2, I should've pocketed $10, and bet the other $10 on RED. This will have given me at least let me break even. Oh well... you live and learn. You win some, you lose some. (Insert some other idiom here)

5. I did not spend money on meals on this trip to Vegas. Normally, I have to eat at least ONE buffet. Eric and I had talked about getting the awesome Seafood Buffet at the RIO... but we just never did it because Jon and Kelly couldn't afford it. And we didn't win any money in the casinos to justify spending that. So basically, we ate fast food the entire weekend. After the first night, the first thing we did was go to the food court and eat Panda Express (which is a national chain that serves Americanized Chinese food. Still good tho!). I would've loved to have had a buffet, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be this time around. Maybe next time.

6. Two more stops at Fat Tuesday later (still drinking the Bellini), we stopped by the Caesar's Palace Forum Shops to do some window shopping. We walked around FAO Schwarz and played with some of the toys there. If you've ever seen BIG, the movie from the 80s with Tom Hanks, then you will know that they have a giant piano keyboard that you play with you feet. Jon was talented enough to play Chopsticks for us. It was quite impressive. Then Jon and I went in the Apple Store, where apparently, I got really touchy with the Mac computers. I picked them up and rubbed them against my face and confessed my love for the new MacBook and MacBook Pro. My friends were convinced that I was wasted... but they don't realize that I do this every time I walk into an Apple Store. lol. We also stopped by other high-end, luxury brand stores such as Armani and Coach. In the following picture, you will see me in the Coach store, bright red in the face and completely drunk.

I'm holding a Coach purse for some reason, and Kelly is there to make fun of me

7. After we are through with the Forum Shops, we walked over to T.I. (or Treasure Island) to meet up with Chris and his buddies. We get there and knock on their suite door. We can already hear that there was a party going on. When he opens the door, we are hit with an unbearably humid room. They had crammed 20 people into the suite so that they could party and get drunk. And this suite was not big. It was only called a suite because it had double doors and two bathrooms. Other than that, it seemed actually smaller than our room at the MGM Grand. Chris greeted us loudly - could definitely tell he was drunk. And then he introduced us to all of his friends. One in particular, Jon was very fond of. Tall white guy, with dark features and an awesome body. He was actually shirtless and wearing board shorts when we walked in because they had come from the pool not too long ago. And in those board shorts, we could all see something quite big in there! So I'm really pissed off about what I'm about to write about.

I get a phone call from Miles because Miles and ML had been on the road for over 3 hours trying to avoid traffic from the California wildfires. They had to take a long detour that they were unfamiliar with and they needed my iPhone to tell them where they were. Because the room was so loud, I had to step outside to talk to them. About 5 minutes later, I walk back into the room, where INSTANTLY Jon comes at me, jumping for joy. While I was away, Board Shorts Boy had gone into the bathroom to change out of his board shorts. Jon was standing right outside the bathroom. But Board Shorts Boy didn't close the door and he just dropped his shorts. Jon was in the perfect spot to see all of this. And Board Shorts Boy didn't mind... probably too drunk to care. But Jon saw him in all his glory. And apparently he was BIG. sigh... I'm pissed off because I totally missed it. And it's all Miles fault for calling me at the worst possible time!! So mad! I wanted to see penis too! Oh well, ... it was for the better because for the rest of the trip, Jon was just completely obsessed with Board Short Boy and I probably would've been too if I was there to witness the dropping of the shorts.

(left to right) Board Shorts Boy (with clothes) and Jon
Jon secretly wished that Board Shorts Boy was gay

8. Miles and ML finally arrive in Vegas after 7 hours and 42 minutes of driving (when it should've only taken them ~4 hours in normal traffic time). But their determination to have a good time with us in Vegas got them through it and they made it just in time to go out on the town! ML was the driver and I have no idea how she found the energy to go out after driving for that long, but I guess she was just THAT excited to have fun! And we were excited to have them with us as well!

(left to right; top) Kelly, Jon, ML, Eric
(bottom) Me, Miles
About to go out on the town!

9. To start our night, we went to Planet Hollywood (of course) to get more booze at Fat Tuesday. Got myself another Bellini and we all did one jello shot together to celebrate all of us being their together. It was cherry flavored AGAIN. WHY do they do that? I just swallowed it. Gross, but did its job. Pretty soon, I was drunk again, and I started to talk loudly. So instead of going to a club right away, we decide to play some slots in the casino at Planet Hollywood. I was all for it because my FAVORITE slot machines was there: Monopoly Money Grab!! It's this amazing high tech slot machine where it is touch screen and very interactive! The best part is when you get 3 "Chance" Bonus cards in a row and you get to play this Bonus where the characters of Monopoly jump up on the screen and grab money. And whatever money amount they grab is the amount of credits I win. This was a penny slot machine, so each credit is only work 1 cent. But, I ended up winning over 2700 credits on the bonus game, giving me $36 to cash out! I had only put in $5 to start! And when I went over to my friends to tell them that, I told them "I won 5 times the amount that I put in!!" And at first, they were so happy, but then Jon had this puzzled look on his face and he said... "Don't you mean 7 times the amount?" And then I thought about it, and agreed with him. And THAT'S when you know I'm drunk... when a Math teacher couldn't do simple multiplication... LOL

Here I am with the Monopoly Money Grab, my FAVORITE slots game EVER!

10. Upon exiting the Planet Hollywood to make our way over to the Paris Hotel and Casino, we come across this water feature on the side of the Planet Hollywood. It has a stead stream of water flowing down a wall lit up with many small white LED lights. Kelly and ML had taken pictures in front of this before in a previous trip to Vegas, so they suggested we all take a picture in front of it as well. When the picture is taken, it creates a cool silhouette of all of us. And I'm SOO glad we took the pictures because it turned out AMAZING. We didn't ask anyone to take a picture of all of us, so Kelly and I took turns taking the picture. And then I came home and photoshop-ed the two pictures together so that we'd all be in it. So here's the final outcome. It's my absolute FAVORITE picture ever and has become my default picture in all my profiles online. (well, except this one)...

(Left to right) Eric, Miles, Kelly, Me, ML, and Jon
I look like I'm taking a crap... but I still think we look... what's the word?.. FIERCE! lol

11. We arrive at the Paris Casino and proceed to their club, Risque, to try and get in because all we wanted to was have fun and dance! When we get there, they tell us immediately that we were welcome to just go up to the club with no charge since it was already later in the night. We jump on the opportunity and head up to the club. Risque is smaller, but still had a nice size dance floor. The club was set up nicely with the bar area in the front of the club and the dance floor in the back, slightly elevated. Good lighting and the music was already great as we walked in. A good dance beat, you know? So the 6 of us are dancing with each other and just having a great time. Then ML leans in to all of us and says, "Um... do you guys notice that we're the only non-Indian people here?" HAHA! I look around, and all I see are middle eastern people dancing and having a great time. And then we all notice at the same time that we've been dancing to Indian/Bollywood music and that everyone in the club knew the words to it and was singing along! LOL. We thought we had crashed some private party of something, but noone was kicking us out or minding that we were there. So we just continued to dance and have a great time. We just had a great laugh about it and it's one of those things that we won't forget about our trip.

If you can't tell... I'm pretty drunk. But NO, I'm not THAT red. It was just the light on me at that moment.
And that's ML, with her amazing body, dancing with me. SO fun, even though I kinda look like an idiot

12. During my time in Vegas, I drunk text-ed Davie (who I came out to before, described in this post). It was amazing, and I'll just let you read the actual texts:

Me: Davie! I heard that you are well endowed! Jon saw it in the bathroom and got turned on. DAVIE!! I want to see it! Will you show me when I get home?

Davie: LOL! Omg, u drunk asses! And Jon... ur gross! He did not! I never change in front of anyone!

Me: He saw you thru the cracks of the stalls when you're changing.

Davie: Lol. What a lie!

Me: Davie I want to see your dick, ok? And he's serious. He saw you.

Davie: I don't believe him! Was he talking crap? :-(

Me: No. he just said you are real hung. He peeked through the stalls from the outside. He didn't know it was you until you walked out.

Davie: LOL. Too much. You bitches

Me: Davie! I love you!

Davie: Love you, too. Be safe and have fun.


13. So second night, the 6 of us shared a room that only had two queen beds. Right when we got back to the hotel, Eric basically collapsed on the round. So it was decided that Eric would be one of two sleeping on the floor. We gave him blankets and a pillow and he stayed in that position for the rest of the night. Miles volunteered to be the other one sleeping on the floor. I slept in a bed with Kelly and Jon slept in the other with ML. Secretly, I wanted to be in the same bed with Jon so that I could cuddle at night with him. But we were already in this arrangement from the night before (Kelly requested to sleep in the bed with me instead of Jon because she was afraid that he'd be too drunk and kick her out of bed. lol). I just wanted some cuddling because I've been sleeping in a bed by myself for so long. But I guess it wasn't meant to be. And then in the morning, Miles jumped up onto our bed when Kelly went to use the bathroom for a bit. So the three of us slept in the same bed together. It was the closet to cuddling that I got. ;)

Me and Miles take a pic as we wake up in the morning

So that's my Vegas weekend! As you can see, I had so much fun with my friends. I'm so glad that I decided to blow off my second job at the high school and go to Vegas. It was basically my FIRST time getting drunk to the point where I'm not sick and throwing up and just letting loose and having a great time. I feel like I now know my limit and I shouldn't worry about getting sick when drinking alcohol. And now I know what drinks I should order too. Drink of choice: MIDORI SOUR! yum! Doesn't taste like alcohol at all. In fact, it tastes like a Green Apple Jolly Rancher. Drank a few of those during my Vegas trip too. ;)

Alright, well this post has been long enough. Wonder if you all spent the time to read all of it. :P

Vegas ROCKS!!

Guys, I have not had this much fun in Vegas ever! And I go to Vegas a
lot! It's because I'm with awesome friends and I'm actially drinking
and letting myself go. I'm so proud of myself. LOL.

So today I went to Fat Tuesdays and got myself a mug of the Bellini.
Tastes so freaking good! And it got me sooooo red and tipsy. But
without making me sick! Just walked around the strip the whole day.
Met up with another friend and his group of friends too. Some of those
guys were FINE!! But they were straight. Boo.

I totally passed out when we got back to the hotel at around 7. Still
back at the hotel now but our other friends drove up (in the horrible
traffic caused by the California wildfires) and we're most likely
going to the gay club, KRAVE. Can't wait!!!

Well bigger update when I get home tomorrow night! Love you all!

PS so I guess my Twitter updates don't work? Guess I'll have to figure
it out some other time.

Vegas Updates

Hey guys. Check my Twitter on the right side of my blog. I'm gonna
post small updates often! Having fun so far! Already buzzed! LOL!

My Cousin and My Day

So, I knew my mom wouldn't drop the subject. At breakfast this morning, my mom once again asked if I was going to call up my cousin to give him my address. ARGH, so frustrating. She really doesn't understand that I like my alone time and my TV time.

But I've thought about it a little more. Next week, Monday - Wednesday, I'm going to be going to work from 8:30pm to 12:30am. Most likely, I will go out to Denny's afterwards too. So I probably won't be home until late, when I will want to just sleep. SO, I'm thinking that my cousin can come over and crash on my couch on those nights. If he doesn't mind me coming home late at night, then I guess it will be alright with me. And it takes a lot to wake me up in the morning, so as long as he's not stomping around like an elephant and playing loud music in the morning, then I'll be fine too. I'll just give him my extra key for those days.

I guess I'll call him up and let him know. And then I'll still be my mommy's good son.

After breakfast, I went to the pediatrician's with my mom and my little nephew. He's about 15 months old now and had to go in for his flu shot and other vaccinations. He's a little cutie. But he's starting to get a little troublesome. Taking after his 4 year old sister, I guess. She's definitely a handful. I'm hoping she grows out of her whining and crying soon! But yeah, my nephew of course cried during the shots, but it only lasted about 10 seconds and we were done and out of there.

I then drove back to my area and got a haircut... at Supercuts. I know, I know... Supercuts its horrible! But it's cheap and I don't need too much done to my hair.. so I go there. But now it's a little shorter than I wanted it to be. I guess I should've just shown him the picture of me that I keep in my iPhone, so it's my fault for being lazy.

Later, I went to dinner with Miles and my ex, Jen. We went to eat RAMEN! Japanese noodles. Yeah, like Top Ramen instant noodles. But the REAL kind. lol. It was so very good. Just a good time with friends. We dropped Jen off and then went to Blockbuster to get the new Tinker Bell movie and this other gay movie, "Kiss Me Guido." But alas, our night to be gay fairies was not meant to be as both movies were not available. So we got "Baby Mama" instead. I had not seen it before but wanted to so I was glad that Miles found it.

I'm back home now. We'll probably start Baby Mama soon but we're both on our MacBooks right now just browsing around and relaxing. He wants me to download some porn on his computer because he knows I'm a subscriber to some sites. LOL.

Still gotta pack for Vegas! Leaving at around noon! Can't wait! WOO!

Vegas, Baby!

In less than 36 hours, I'll be driving up to Las Vegas with my friends in my awesome black, gas efficient, sexy Prius! LOL. I just wanted to rub it in that I have a Prius that costs me less than $20 to fill up my tank, which I do every 1.5 - 2 weeks. HEHE.

But yeah... Vegas, Baby! Me and 7 of my friends (including Jon, Miles, and Kelly) will be sharing a teeny tiny room at the MGM Grand.. but who cares right? We won't really be in our room that often any way! And I'm just excited to be going out with friends. We might be going to some clubs, not sure. I think we're just winging it the entire weekend. Nothing really planned. Don't think we're seeing any shows cuz we're all broke. So just doing whatever we want to do. And just getting drunk! LOL. And, as you all know now, it's not that hard to get me drunk!

I'm also thinking of telling everyone that's gonna be on the trip with me that I'm gay. Hopefully it just comes up somehow... like some miraculous segue will happen and it'll just come out. But if not, I'll fit it into some conversation somehow...

Friend: Hey, so what time is check-in for the hotel?
Me: I think right around the time that I'm gay.

Something like that? I don't know.... lol.

In other news, I wanna wish AJ a speedy recovery. What happened with him should NEVER have happened. What year do we live in people!? Why do people still have so much hatred. It's so ridiculous. And I really want him to recover sooner because I know he was looking forward to having some "fun" with his bf. :P But now, with broken ribs, it's gona be hard for him to do that for a while. Poor guy... GET WELL SOON AJ!

Back To Normal

So I finally got a good 8 hours of sleep last night and I feel more refreshed. Yesterday night was the premiere of my project. It was a video that I made for work because our parade was closing to make way for the Christmas parade this season. So my managers had asked me to whip up a video to show during our cast party. So that's what took 2 sleepless nights to complete. The end result was still not my best work, but they showed it to the cast, and I had nothing but good comments about it. So that made me feel happy. :)

Now about my cousin staying over... yesterday, I get a voicemail from him: "Hey, text me your address when you have time." I seriously did NOT want him to stay over. So here's our text conversation:

Me: You're still coming over? I have work til late tonight. You know I only live in a studio apartment right?
(You guys get that I dropped a bunch of hints there right??)

Cousin: Yeah. That's cool. How late are you gonna be? I'm still at work so I can continue to work.
(OMG, is he just stupid?)

Me: We're off at 845 but we have a cast party afterwards. I dunno how late that's gonna be til.

Cousin: Oh really? Like usually after 12?

Me: Ok well. Probably not that late but I don't know.
(I finally decide to just honest now)

Me: I think I'm ok to have you stay like a night or two or something but I'm not sure about a whole week. I'm just used to living alone now.

Cousin: K. I'll just stay over some other day.

Well, he's not staying over anymore. But I still don't think he gets the hint that I don't want him to stay at all. LOL. I really feel like he's going to go "tattletale" to my mom. And then my mom will probably ask me about it and why I didn't want him to stay over. That's so frustrating that he just invited himself over to my place.

And plus, if he stayed over for a week, how am I supposed to bring random guys up to my apartment?? LOL! Just kidding! ..... or am I??

EDIT: So I'm at home with family tonight and I KNEW my mom would say something about my cousin. I guess she doesn't see why I don't want him to stay for more than one or two days. She doesn't think that 2 weeks would be too long. But I don't think she gets that if he stays over on the couch, then I'm trapped by my bed for the whole night. I know for SURE that I will be sleeping later than him. I wouldn't be able to watch TV if he's on the couch. It's just a big inconvenience for me....

No Sleep..

I've had no sleep these past 2 nights. I've been working a project for work (volunteered to do it... how stupid am I?) and now the end product is no where near the standards. And I'm very pissed off at myself for not doing a better job. But I've had absolutely ZERO time to do this. My friends tell me it'll be fine and that they will enjoy it and just appreciate that I took the time to do it. But I'm still frustrated that it didn't turn out better. Especially because I know there will be "friends" who like pick it apart and tell me that it sucked ass. I ALREADY KNOW.. THANK YOU!

So the guy I went out on that date with hasn't called me back or really tried to get in contact with me again (except for a forwarded text message that informed me of the next Prop 8 protest nearby). So I'm guessing he decided that the date sucked as well. Glad there isn't any awkwardness there... We both realized it wasn't a good date and are moving on.

In other news, my cousin called me yesterday to ask me if he could stay over with me because he has been assigned to do work in my area and he doesn't want to drive back to his house (about 45 min - 1 hour drive) each night. I was hesitant to say yes, just because I like my privacy and alone time at home... plus I live in a studio apartment. So I asked him how long he needed to stay for. He tells me, "This whole week, and into next week." WHAT?! Argh.... He asks me if it's alright, and I told him, "Well, I'm not going to say no!" Cuz then he'll just tell his mom (my aunt) and she'll tell my mom, and then they're gonna get on my case for not helping out family. But MAN, I really don't want him to stay for a whole week!! One or two nights, MAYBE.... Blah. I hate this... I think he's coming over for his first night tonight. I'm not happy about it.

Response to Comments

So I got a few comment on my last post about my date, so I thought I'd just respond to them in a post. The more and more I think about the date, the more I realize how shitty it really was. Sigh... Anyway, here are the responses:

x!: no.. I don't think I'll be calling him again anytime soon. I'm not even sure what to do with his AIM screen name on my buddy list...

Aron: yeah, a bar is a bad choice. And when I was in the car, I even mentioned to him that I'm not a big drinker. But he took me to the bar anyway... guess he wasn't listening. And I guess it WAS my fault for ordering that drink. But I was at a bar... Who orders a water or something NON-alcoholic at a bar?

josh: yeah.. Sarah Palin was being played by a fat, short, asian gay guy... sigh. Thanks for the kind words, Josh. You're awesome! And vomit on the penis?? Horrible mental image! YUCK!

Seth: You know.. I had suggested dinner/coffee and a movie. But I guess he didn't listen to that either. I mean, the protest sounded fun... but also, when he asked me, I wasn't going to say NO to helping out the community. What kind of douche would I sound like if I did that?

And thank you for the lecture. I'm never doing that again. It was definitely UNSAFE and I felt like I was going to die about 5 times. But yes... lesson learned. And I also do hope that my next date will be much better!!

SMILE, tears, Protest/Date

Man my day was a long one yesterday. Started the day out early (7am) and got to work by 8am to pretty much wait around for 4-5 hours. At least I got paid during this time. Finally, at 1pm, they were ready for us and I "took the stage." They were filming for the Walt Disney World Christmay Day Parade special that airs on ABC on Christmas Day. I think I got some good camera time. Depends on if they edit me out or not... but I guess you can try and look for me. ;)

After that, I had to rush home quickly to get changed for my friend's wedding. OH, I mentioned her before. "Oh-Girl" = Rachel. Got to the Korean temple right at 3:55 and the ceremony started at 4:00. It was such a beautiful ceremony. When she walked down the aisle, I couldn't help but tear up. She looked BEAUTIFUL and was soo happy. I can just see the glow from her face. And just knowing that these two people loved each other so much that they were willing to show everyone in attendance their love - it just made me cry. And as they held each others hands up there, and repeatd their vows, I cried again. And it was pretty bad. Like tears down my face and snot coming out of my nose... (ok that was gross). But you get the idea. How embarassing... But I was genuinely happy for the two. What did upset me a little was the Officiant talking about marriage between a man and a woman, and how that was intended by God. Just didn't want to think about all the Prop 8 drama at that time, but of course it was inevitable. I really just wanted to be there and be happy for my two friends. Thankfully, I was able to let the drama go and just enjoy the wedding.

The reception was great. Very laid back, buffet style. And Robin, Rachel's HUSBAND!, created the slideshow - and it was the most amazing slideshow that I haThe d EVER seen!! It was seriously SOOO good! Awesome transitions and great music. OMG! I want to know what program he used because I'm making a slideshow for work and mine looks like 1st grade crap compared to his. ARGH!!! I neeeeed to find out what he used.

I left the wedding around 7:15pm or so. I gave my date, George, a call to tell him that I'm leaving the wedding to go home and get dressed to see if he still wanted to do anything. This was the first time I was hearing his voice because we had only conversed online and in texts before. He sounded like a sweet guy. He asked if instead of going out to a movie if I wanted to help out the community instead. Of course, he was talking about the No on Prop 8 protests that have been going on all around the Greater Los Angeles area. I said, SURE. I thought it would be fun. My first protest of any kind ever! Bound to be an interesting time.

So I got home, got dressed. TOTALLY nervous, by the way. Haven't been on a date in forever. However, this wouldn't really count as one, since we were going out to a protest... not the most romantic thing ever. So I had posted on Facebook that I was "really nervous" as my status. My friend from work, Kelly, IMs me on AIM to ask me why.

Kelly: What are you nervous about?

Doug: I have a date.

Kelly: Ooooh. When?

Doug: Like soon. Tonight.

Kelly: May I ask with whom?

Doug: yeah, but I don't think you know him...

Kelly: Oh, ok. Haha what are you two lovebirds doing?

Doug: um, we're going to the Silverlake protest, I guess. How's that for a first date huh?

Kelly: Haha.

Well... it goes on after that. We just talk about the No on Prop 8 stuff. And then I casually thank her for being so cool with it. Well, again... it was online... jeez... but she is the first girl and first straight person that I've told. However, she's a big fan of the gays. So I had no problems telling her. In fact, everyone at work is a big fan of the gays... so I really have no problems telling people at work anymore. I just don't want to jump around work and yell "I'm GAY!" or whatever... but if people find out, then cool. I don't care about that anymore. :)

So, George picks me up around 8:30? 8:45? I get in the car. Nice looking white guy. He's 27, so a little older than me. I get in and we shake hands. lol. He offered first. I guess it's sort of hard to hug when he's in the car driving. And we drive off to Los Angeles. Long drive. And it was what I dreaded most. You see... I'm not a talkative person. And it tends to get even worse when I'm nervous and with people that I don't know. So I was just hoping that he would be a really talkative person and ask lots of questions. Unfortuantely, it wasn't like that and there were quite a few awkward silences. sigh.... Weird. But we still had some conversations about what we do, where we went to school, blah blah. The usual. But the more I found out, the less I was interested in him. That kinda sucked.

He's a waiter and a bartender. But he's not going to school. I can relate to having a job that you like and not wanting to move on... but I also believe an education is quite important. He also had a noticeable lisp. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I just couldn't date anyone with a lisp. It may very well be a legitimate speech impediment for him, but I just can't disassociate lisps with super gay. And I'm not looking for anyone that's over the top gay. He wasn't over the top, but he was definitely over my comfort line. Don't get wrong, I LOVE my gay friends. And that's what they are, my good friends. But I would never date them.

So we got to the area where the protest was supposed to be happening. Unfortunately, we saw a lot of people walking on the sidewalk in random clumps. He rolled down the window to ask one of them about it and she said that the cops kinda broke it up and people were leaving. She said they MAY still be protesting but it would be all the way down the street now. So we drove a little while longer looking for it, but then decided to give up. We did honk and cheer for the people still walking on the sidewalks though. That was fun. :)

We drove out to West Hollywood and decided on Fiesta Cantina. I ordered a rum and Coke.. but they had a special on doubles, so they made mine a double and that was a BIG mistake.. The drink was like, a drop of Coke so that it would be the color of Coke, but then everything else was rum... I took a sip and already knew I would be in trouble. We walked upstairs to the patio, where we bump into ond of his "Alternative Lifestyle Assistants." LOL. That's his term for "fag hag." Guess he wants to trademark it. She is this loud, big, black woman. FUNNY but TALKS forever. So basically, I was there, with George, the girl, and her gay friend. Apparently, they used to work at Disney too. Super small world. Or I guess all of Disney just decides to hang out at WeHo. But she talks up a storm and it's basically her talking the whole night. I sit there, just listening, hardly talking. Because, remember.. I don't do well with new people. George sort of tries to include me in some conversation, but I don't make it easy on him. I'm such a horrible date.

I take sips out of my rum and Coke. But the strong taste isn't really doing well for me. So I try to take bigger gulps and just have it slide down my throat fast. Guess that was a REALLY bad idea. And then the girl and her friend is smoking and its getting all in my face. People around me are smoking, and I start getting a headache. OY... Bad all around. After a while, these three guys come up and talks to us. Introduces themselves as Corey, Grant, and Sarah Palin. Yeah... Sarah Palin. He continues to impersonate Palin the whole night... and HORRIBLY might I add. I have no idea what he was doing. Stupid drunk gay. But Corey was real cute. Tall, skinny but not too skinny, buzzed head, and just good looking. ;) I felt horrible checking him out while I was on a date... but George wasn't really being a good date either I guess. After a while of talking, Corey and his group decide to leave the bar to go to the clubs. The Alternative Lifestyle Assistant also decides to go to a different bar with her friend. So George and I decide that we should go too.

By the way, I've only had 1/4 of the glass of rum and Coke. I get up to walk out of the bar... and I seriously could NOT walk in a straight line for the first few steps. LOL. I make my way down the stairs without stumbling and I walk out the bar as I pass by several REALLY hot guys. We walk back towards the car and the fresh air away from the smoke really helped. I felt a little better, but I still had a headache and started to get this feeling in my stomach that was NOT good.

We started driving back and I could NOT stay awake. It was horrible. And I felt like I needed to throw up so I really wanted to just pass out and sleep it off. But then, I noticed him kinda swerving and not staying in the lanes. And I was like, "You alright?" He tells me he got real tired all of a sudden. And we still had about a 30 minute drive. So I was seriously holding on for dear life as he almost got into an accident about 4 times. Woke me up right away! I tried to keep him talking. I asked him questions. And I tried to create conversations. But he wasn't really helping me. I was scared for my life. All the while wanting to throw up.

So we finally get off the freeway after being completely scared out of my mind. He gets to the intersection and he tries to turn left, and I was like, "Oh, I'm to the right." And right after I said that, I realized that he wanted to take me back to his place. Ooops. I kind of felt bad. But really, I didn't feel up to anything AT ALL. I wanted to throw up at that point and I just needed to get home. He drops me off, and I give him a hug and a kiss of the cheek. I tell him I'd give him a call some time. I get out of the car, say goodnight and tell him to text me when he makes it home safely, and shut the door.

I didn't end up throwing up or anything. A nice warm shower helped. But that was my first date! Not the best date ever.... I can see him being a good friend, but nothing more than that. Just not my type, really. But I'm glad I made the effort to get out there. Hopefully there will be more prospects for me soon.

Date...

Well, it's 2:06am and I'm home. Alone. My choice.
It wasn't a bad date, but I had too much to drink (and it doesn't take that much for me) and I just didn't feel well. Like, I can throw up any minute. So I decided that I should just go home.

So yeah - I'm not doing all that well right now so I'm not going to blog about the date in full detail. Tomorrow, when I feel better, I'll do my best to recap the night. Oh AND the day too. Lots of stuff happened. LONG freaking day.

Freakin' NERVOUS!

Oh. My. Gah-----
If you only knew how nervous I am right now! I'm about to get picked up to go on my date with George. He's the guy that I met online. And we're going to the Prop 8 Protest in Silverlake (near Hollywood) where there's apparently thousands of people marching right now. Not the most romantic first date, but I really admire his passion and willingness to volunteer and voice out for the cause. And I'm kind of excited to participate in my first protest too!

But yeah - he's picking me up in a few minutes, and I'm a wreck! I guess I'll update you guys when I get back!! Wish me luck! EEEK!!

New Blog!

Hey guys, so I wanted to take this time to tell everyone that my UK buddy, Barry, just started up his new blog Orbis Terrarum Liber Est. The title is Latin, so go over to this blog to find out what that all means! And if you already know Latin, then how cool is that?!

So go check it out! And tell him that I sent you ;)

Btw, check out the poll I put up!

Money, Gum, and a Date

Since I slept at 4:30am the night before, I don't wake up until 12:30pm. So there goes half the day. Upon waking up, I feel compelled to check my bank account and am horrified to find that I have no money. Well, not horrified, because I already knew that I had no money in the first place. But it puts me in a spiral of depression because I have no money and don't have a real job and can't afford anything.

What makes me even more depressed is that I know I'm going to have to call up Mom to ask her for help. You see, my Mom and Dad were the ones that insisted on me living alone in a nice place. So it really isn't my fault that I can't afford rent. They help me out each month, but this month, they didn't give me nearly as much. And I wanted to be independent and not ask for the help, but it looks like that's not possible right now. I am waiting for my paycheck from my second job but it hasn't arrived yet so I need the money ASAP. I write an email of desperation to Mom:

Mom,
Is there any way you can transfer some extra money into my account? The money you gave me this month isn't enough. Work right now is slow but it'll pick up during the Christmas season. And also my second job still hasn't paid me, so I need some money in the bank account now to pay off my bills. Thank you.
Love,
Doug

After writing the email, I still think that I need more money. So I decide to email my sister to ask her for money since she's paying me to take her online traffic school for her:

Sister,
Can I get the money upfront? I need the money ASAP to pay bills. Thank you.
Doug

Well, 2 minutes later, I get an email from her back:

Ask Mom for the money the next time you're around.

And not only did she not agree to give me the money, she CCs my Mom her reply back. So now my Mom knows I'm really desperate for money and asking around for it. ARGH! My sister is such a bitch some times! What the heck is wrong with her? Do any of you have siblings? Do they stab you in the back like that? I wish I had a sister that was on my side!

The rest of the day is pretty bland. I sit at home and watch TV. Then I go to work for all of 3 hours. I do head to Target after work because I have to return something. I walk in, hoping to see the cute boy that works at the registers. And BINGO, he's there! So I make my return, and then I walk into the store, desperately trying to remember what I needed to buy so that I can go go to his checkstand. I walk the whole entire store and can't remember what I needed!! Finally, I pass by the gum/candy aisle and take a big pack of Eclipse gum (that I keep in the car) and then head over to the cash registers. I stand in his line, staring at him the whole time. His name is Abraham. He has dark hair, dark eyes, and a cute smile. It's almost my turn in line, and then I realize I look like an idiot only buying a pack of gum at Target, so I quickly look over at the candies on the side and grab a bar of Toblerone chocolate. (YUM!)

When it's my turn, he looks up at me and says "Hi. How are you?" I say I'm fine, and I continue to look at him. "$4.82, please." Ok... so I hand him a $20 bill. He makes the change, takes the receipt, places them in my hand, and says, "Thank you, have a good night," all with a smile on his face. :) I smile, and I walk out the store.

Isn't it pathetic that I had to go find something to buy just to check out cute boys? Sigh...

I guess I'm working on that though. A few days ago, I was on gay.com and someone sent me an instant message through their new Messenger thing. We talked about Prop 8 and I found out that he was a head volunteer working at the polls. I really admired all the work he was doing for it. Although we didn't get the results we wanted, it's great to know that so many people cared and that we did all that we could. Anyway, been talking to him online now (we have each others' AIM) and I think we might be going on a date on Saturday night. Only problem is I have a wedding to attend that day. It starts at 4pm, but I don't know when it will end. But I'm thinking it won't end THAT late. We can maybe do something at night for the date. He had suggested going to see Changeling in the theaters. But when I told Miles, he said it was a horrible idea. Dates should be used to get to know the other person, and a movie doesn't allow for that at all. So I messaged him and asked if he would want to do dinner or something before the movie. He said "possibly." Don't know what that means... But I explained to him that I wanted to get to know more about him, and being inside a movie theater won't let me do that. And then he agreed. I told him that I would give him a call on Saturday to let him know when I would be free after the wedding.

So yeah -- I guess I have a date! I'm really nervous actually. I just don't think I do well with new people. I find it hard to talk with someone I don't know. I don't know what to talk about most of the time. And I'm such a boring person that there's not much to talk about. So I'm just worried that it's going to be a real awkward time. Hopefully he'll do a lot of the talking or something. Argh -- I haven't been on a date since the night with Jamie. And that's with someone that I kinda already knew. And so if we don't count Jamie, I haven't been on a real date with someone new in 6 years. What the hell!? I'm gonna be a horrible date.... but wish me luck any way.

TIRED but blogging anyway

So I'm pretty tired right now - just had a late night rehearsal at Disney. FUN though. I'm going to have a GREAT time performing this Christmas! If you are in the neighborhood, email me! Come visit me! ;)

Prior to that, I had driven home to have lunch with my mom. I had a good time with her, eating at one of our favorite little cafes. The food was very good today. They make this AMAZING cream soup. YUM! My mom and I talked about the election and how she voted for McCain because she felt bad for the old guy. She wanted to give him a vote for toughing out the grueling campaign schedule at his age. LOL. And I really did laugh out loud at her for her reasoning behind voting for McCain. Well, that wasn't her only reason, but it was great that she told me that first. ;)

Then we touched upon Prop 8 a bit. She said something that was REALLY encouraging: "It's very surprising that so many people voted for Yes on 8." This may seem like a pretty ordinary statement to make, but to ME, it sounds like my mom may actually be quite accepting of gay people, an eventually, be accepting of her son. Her saying that put a smile on my face. But I didn't discuss the proposition any further.

In other news, I came out to two of my friends in the past 24 hours. Last night, I was talking to Davie, one of my great friends from work. I've known him for about 2 years now. And we've gotten pretty close so I felt very comfortable coming out to him. We were talking about Prop 8 and how it wasn't going to pass. And of course, I did this online, because I'm incapable of having face to face conversations:

Davie: Cheer up, Doug. You can still get married. ha.

Me: Oh Davie... I'm disappointed because I can't now. Didn't you wonder why I was so passionate about No on 8?

Davie: Oh Doug. I always knewwwwww. I was waiting for YOU to tell me.

Me: :) You should feel quite special. lol

Davie: haha. Wait until you see my [MySpace] bulletin! JK!

Me: DUMB! I'll kill you!

HAHA, I love Davie. He's so hilarious. He seriously makes me laugh every day. I was really glad that I told him. Because then he said he's hook me up with some guys. LOL.

The other friend that I came out to is actually one of my best friends from high school. Sean was one of the few out kids in high school, and we became real good friends through choir. He goes to school up in Santa Cruz but we've tried to keep in touch as much as possible. This morning, we talked about Prop 8, of course. Went through some statistics from exit polls (showing that the UNEDUCATED idiots were some of the groups that voted Yes) and then I just had this urge to be honest with him and tell him that I'm gay. (Oh and btw, again, online):

Me: So I have something to tell you. I just wanted to let you know that I'm gay. and sorry for telling you online, but you know me... I hate talking on the phone. And I can't tell you in person because you're far away. So there.

Sean: Wow. Well, I mean, however you want to tell me that's cool, right? But wow - Doug! I'm so happy and honored that you told me that.

Me: Well, if anything, I should've told you sooner. but I'm glad I told you.

Sean: No, I mean, it's whenever you're ready.

Seriously am glad I told him. He was the one person from high school that I wanted to tell. So it's great that I can finally be open with him about it.

So all in all, a pretty good day. But now I'm dead tired. And I didn't even shower... guess I'm showering tomorrow morning because my eyes are getting droopy.

Oh and btw, I want to welcome Barry to my blog! I just told him about my blogging addiction ;) and he was very ... chuffed? (... is that what you Brits say?) to find himself mentioned multiple times in my blog. Well, I told him.. He's a pretty big part of my life right now! We chat online almost every day and I tell him most everything that happens in my life. So of course he's in this blog! It's a wonder I don't mention him more often! So Barry: WELCOME!

Election Day!

It's Decision '08! Today is the day! Election Day! Hope you've already went out and voted! If not, what are you waiting for?! GO! I already mailed in my ballot so I get to sit on my couch and watch MSNBC. :)

So, I called my mom about an hour ago. She had just went out to go vote. I've blogged previously about asking her about Prop 8 (which seeks to eliminate gay marriage in California). She was still unsure at that time. And I tried to get her to understand Prop 8 as much as possible without seeming too passionate about it. I mean, I didn't want to out myself yet. But I was still worried that she would be voting Yes on 8 because she has traditional views on most everything. She is Chinese afterall... and Chinese people are quite traditional. So when I called her and asked about it, I was extremely delighted to hear that she voted NO on Prop 8! She said she decided, ultimately, to vote No, although it sounded like she was a little reluctant to do so. But she added, "It just didn't seem fair to do that to them." Despite the reluctant tone in her voice, I still think that's a good sign for me. Maybe it wouldn't go quite as bad if I were to come out to her.

Silly Halloween Leads to Deeper Thoughts

So Halloween has passed. It's a fun, silly "holiday" where we can all dress up as something else. And I love how that means we dress up (or should it be down?) as something "slutty." Up until this year, I was the complete opposite, but I finally gave in and decided to be revealing. And I had fun doing it. Not going to lie, I felt kinda sexy. Not that I got any action out of it.. hehe. But it was still fun, for myself, to be doing something, dressing in something, that I would NEVER ever dress in on any other day.

So I posted my pictures on Facebook as well. After they got posted on there, I remembered that my sister also has a Facebook account and realized she would most likely be seeing these photos. And more than likely, she would be sharing these photos with my mom. What would they think about them? Especially of the picture where I'm getting sandwiched molested by Apollo and Naked Chef? And then the next question was, do I really care if they see the pictures? I think my answer to that was NO, because I haven't taken down the pictures. Does this mark another step in my coming out? I don't really care if they see the pictures. And I think somewhere in my subconscious, I want them to see it and I want them to ask me about it. This does not mean that I'm not terrified about coming out to my family though - because I still am! I still think/believe that they would disown me. But there's SOMETHING inside me that's begging for them to find out.

But do you think that me wanting them to find out is just me being afraid of actually telling them that I'm gay? Because there's a big difference between me telling them and them finding out. I guess here are my thoughts on the two scenarios:

1. They find out: I don't have to come up with the courage to sit them down and tell them. They just ask me about it, and I tell them "yes." But would it take even more courage to say the words "yes?" Because them finding out would mean that I'm not prepared. It would most likely be some sort of ambush from my family where they suddenly ask me about it. Would I be prepared to say "yes?" But it would only be one word and I can just blurt it out and tell them.
2. I tell them: Will I ever find the courage to actually do this? Since I believe in all my heart that they would disown me, will I EVER actually do this? But it's something that I can prepare for. And it would be done on my terms... my way. Though it seems that doing it on my terms sounds WAY better, I just don't think I can get over the fear of essentially losing my family and actually doing it.

And so a silly day like Halloween has caused all these thoughts to be racing in my head.. who would've thought, huh?

Halloween Pics!

Though I wasn't really feeling the party that much last night, I still had some fun moments and took some good pics. So here they are, a combination of nights 1 and 2:

I had no idea what was going on....

The coach and the cop

Me with bunny #1

Ariel! (can you tell that she's actually a tranny?)

Night two: Me and Indiana Jones

Beastmaster? I don't know but HOT!

Bunny #2!

Me getting molested by Apollo and the Naked Chef

Halloween: Round 2

So I didn't have nearly as much fun in the block party as the smaller party. I think that proves that I'm definitely not a party animal. There were probably 150-200 people at this block party but I think just being in that environment didn't make me very comfortable. Plus, I felt lost when I wasn't walking around with my friends. I knew a lot of people at the party, but only a few that I wanted to actually stay with. So most of the night, I was just hanging on to my friends like a little puppy dog. Plus, I don't drink. I was the DD for the group. So just being around people who were completely wasted out of their minds was not fun for me.

There WERE a lot of great looking boys there though! However, I didn't feel comfortable going up to them to talk to them or dance with them. I didn't even feel comfortable checking them out because I had a bunch of friends there that don't know that I'm gay. So I really just kept to myself the whole time. And it was kind of a downer...

At the end of the night, as I was driving home, Miles asks me if I had fun. All I could say was, "It was OK." I really don't think I had fun at all... Why is it so hard for me to have fun? I just hate myself for being so uptight some times. I wish I was more outgoing, but it's definitely easier said than done. And not being able to tolerate alcohol also sucks. All these people drinking, letting loose, letting their inhibitions go... I won't ever be able to be like that because my body just physically cannot take the alcohol. With the smallest bit of booze, my body gets REAL red and hot and then my heart feels like it's going to pound out of my chest. It's ridiculous....

So unfortunately, I don't have any fun stories to tell about my Halloween parties... Only a few nice pictures to prove that I was actually a part of it. I guess by actually making it out to the party is my first step at becoming a more outgoing me. But what is it going to take to finally get me to let loose and have fun?

Halloween (Round 1): Quick Update

Ok, so I promised a full update with pics and everything, but I'm going to save that until I'm done with Round 2 of Halloween. Last night was a party at my friend's house. More intimate and close friends. Tonight is a big Halloween BLOCK PARTY so there are going be TONS of people there. Can't wait!

Last night, I took 250 photos!! haha. So I'm thinking I'll take at least that many tonight.
Here's a picture to show you my costume. (ok, I'm not gonna lie.. I look pretty good in some of these pics! hehe) Here I am taking a picture with Michelle Obama! (Miles was Barack Obama, but our pictures together didn't show off my costume, so I'm not posting those lol)


So I forgot to bring my clipboard into the party... would've made it a lot better. But the shirt says "COACH" on the front there if you can't see it, and it says COACH again bigger on the back. HEHE.. can't wait to show it off again at the block party tonight! WOO!