Tuesday, September 9, 2008


So I forgot to blog about this: the last email I got from J was 3 days ago. In it, he tells me that he may be put on a different project in October and may not be coming back out to California after all. He says he's supposed to come out here, but it's still up in the air. It sucks that I might not be getting my date.

But maybe that will just help me get my mind off him.
In a few hours, it will have been 3 days since I've emailed J. I've restrained myself - and have stopped emailing him. No more emails telling him how my day was or asking how his day was. When I used to do that, I wouldn't get responses from him until 3-4 days later. And each time, his excuse is that he works too much. Well, that MAY be the case, but I'm not going to sit around waiting for his emails anymore. I have other friends that I can email and they will actually respond in a timely manner. So he can make the next move and email me... Let's see when that will be. Any one want to take a guess on when he'll email me again?


So I was talking with JW about my whole ordeal with J. And he tells me, if it makes me feel better, maybe I don't have to completely forget about him. But just put him on the back burner for a while. Keep him in mind, but don't let him control what I do. I thought that was really great advice because it's somewhere in between obsessing over him (which I just don't want to do anymore) and completely forgetting about him (which I'm not ready to do). I'm so glad I came out to JW. I really appreciate his friendship.

But maybe I have to do is write our night together off as just a simple one night stand. Maybe if I just think of it that way, it'll make putting him on the back burner a lot easier. I mean, I'm not truly a gay guy until I have casual sex, right? lol, jk. That was way stereotypical. But really, people have one night stands all the time. I just never thought I would be the guy to have one, but maybe it's something I can be proud of. haha. I did something that I never thought I would do. I had a one night stand with a stranger. How fucking cool is that?! LOL.


midoriverdegreen said...

Good job on the sex with a stranger bit thats totally safe(sarcsm), im just jelous.

Joshua said...

LOL haha yeah are you sure he's a stranger? Maybe just a distant friend?

Well, you might not be getting a date from J, but you'll definitely get a date with someone else! :D