Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Closure Saga

Is this what closure feels like?

J emailed me back after I sent him that email. It was 3am his time when the email came through and he says that he couldn't sleep because he was thinking about what I said. He couldn't help but think that he has upset me. He apologized for not being ready to be in a relationship, but he wants to continue our friendship and is still up for our date in October when he comes back out to California.

I emailed back and I told him that sure I was upset but it wasn't anything that he was doing wrong... just the circumstances that we found ourselves in. I did tell him that I was happy that he wanted to continue our friendship because I thought I had ruined it by being too pushy about a relationship.

So I mean, that's closure right? We both agreed that a relationship right now isn't the best thing. It wouldn't have been the smart thing at all, considering we really only knew each other for a few days. So we both made the smart decision and we're going to be friends.

So why the f*** am I still thinking about him all day? I'm trying to do stuff to get my mind off of him... I'm going out with my friends... I'm going to work... I go to the gym... I chat online with friends... I watch TV. But I still find myself thinking about him, checking my phone to see if he has replied in an email, leaving my Gmail open waiting for a new email in the Inbox. What the hell am I doing? Why can't I just get him out of my mind? I even have thoughts about just jumping on an airplane to go see him. Who the heck does that?!

Freakin' A -- I NEED to do SOMETHING to get over him.

2 comments:

Shane said...

Whatever you're going through, it's pretty normal. Give yourself a week or two..or three..or even four.. And he won't be lingering in the corner of your mind every few heartbeats.

:)~

DL said...

I'm not sure I can survive a week or two or three of this. haha. it's just ridiculous - the worst part is that I KNOW I'm stupid for being this way, yet I can't help it.
I just read somewhere: "why chase them when you can replace them" --- I wish it was that easy.