Sunday, December 21, 2008

Bowling on Tuesday

For the past few days, I've been chatting with a boy. I met him at my job's Holiday Party. He was one of my friend's date and all of us hung out together. We found each other on Facebook and we started commenting on each other's pages. Then we used the Facebook chat to talk a bit. And then moved on to AIM. And last night we exchanged phone numbers so we could text each other (cuz we both love texting).

Well, on Facebook, I posted a status saying that I really want to go to this new bowling alley that opened up near by and if anyone wanted to join. Well, he responded to it pretty quickly. And we just started talking about it and how we're both real interested in bowling because we hadn't done it in a LONG time. Well, through our AIM conversations, I could tell that he was interested in me :) And I think he's a pretty cute kid too. He's younger than me by 5 years, but that shouldn't matter, right? So last night, I just asked him if he'd like it if it was just the two of us that went bowling. He said that that'd be real fun. :)

So I think it's a date on Tuesday. I dunno. I'm just going to take it as two people hanging out and getting to know each other. I don't want to classify it as a date, because then I'll get all nervous and dumb again. So I'm just going to let it happen and be cool about it. And hopefully we'll both have fun in the process.

Friday, December 19, 2008

More Financial Woes

To add salt to the wound, our managers announced to us today that the parade that we perform in during the normal year (the non-Christmas times) has been CANCELED. So I officially don't have a job starting January 5th unless I get Wells Fargo, or they find me something to do elsewhere within the Resort.... GREAT....

Finance and Banking

This holiday season just hasn't been very jolly. Aside from my own financial woes, I just found out the other day that my Dad was laid off from him job in China. My Mom had just flown back to stay with him for the rest of the year, and then he got laid off within days of her arriving. I felt so bad for my Dad... it must be so hard to be told that you're going to be let go from your job. It's almost worst than getting fired, because getting fired means you did something wrong. Getting laid off just means they can't afford you anymore.

I'm not sure what my Dad is going to do now. Is he going to find another job? What place is going to give him a job? At his age? At least he has lots of experience. My Mom will probably have to go back to work somewhere now. He called me to assure me that everything is fine and that I shouldn't worry about him or my Mom. They're actually going to take the next month or so to do some traveling together. The last few years working abroad, he was able to make some good money. So it's ok for now. I'm just worried for them in the future.

And now because of this, I REALLY can't rely on Mommy and Daddy to bail me out financially anymore. I went to an Interview for a teller position at Wells Fargo today. I hope to get a response from them soon for a final interview. For those of you who have read my blog from the beginning are probably thinking: "Don't you have a teaching credential? Why aren't you teaching?" Well, I'm going to have think more about that now. Unfortunately, they don't usually just hire people in the middle of the year, but I'll look into that. Substituting is an option as well, but that's not a stable income because they might not need me every day, and it's pretty much the worst to have to be a sub because kids HATE subs.... we've all been in high school and remember how much we hate our substitute teachers!

So, wish me luck with the teller position. I think it will be a good experience for me. I think I can do well. I have great customer service skills and I think one of my best qualities is my friendliness. So I think it's a good fit for me. And I think it's going to be a great way to make some new friends. I'll have a different group of people to work with and to get to know. :)

PLUS, think of all the customers that walk in. My fantasy:

A ridiculously cute, handsome boy walks into the branch and we make eye contact. He waits in line and stares at me the whole time. He's now at the front of the line. But I have a stupid lady who's asking me lots of questions about her account. I work fast and answer all of her questions and shoo her away. I ask for the next customer in line and he finally walks up. He looks even cuter up close. I take my time helping him with his banking needs, all the while flirting with him. He flirts back. I end his transaction and we say goodbye. But before he leaves, he hands me his business card. He's a regional manager for a very important corporation. He tells me to give him a call so that we can grab coffee some time. Then he walks away, as I check out his hot bubble butt.

And that is how I will meet my husband.

Wouldn't that be the best ever??

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Polls

So apparently my poll closed and I didn't even know! HAHA.
The question was: What kind of car do you drive?
33% of you drive Sedans.
Followed by 26% of you driving SUVs! Wow.. that's a whole bunch!
Tied at 9% are Wagons and Coupes.
And the rest are distributed among Luxury, Convertible, Hatchback, and Hybrid.
And I think the Hybrid vote was my own.

Well that's pretty interesting. I was hoping more people would vote on it though. :(

Now new poll:
Which continent do you live on?

Pretty self explanatory. :) But you MUST post in the comments which COUNTRY you are from too. And maybe which CITY as well? I guess the more specific, the better. I just want to know were all my readers are from! I mean, I have that map thingy at the bottom of the sidebar that tells me, but there are so many dots everywhere, I can't tell where each one is exactly or who my loyal readers are.

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In other news, I just want to say how relieved I am that AJ is getting professional help at the hospital. If you haven't read his or Matt's blog lately, AJ has been feeling very depressed recently and it has gotten to the point where he thought he might hurt himself. So now he has checked into the hospital and is hopefully recovering well. I'm sending all my love and thoughts out to him. Matt says that he'll print out his comments for him read so go over to AJ's Blog and leave him some encouraging comments!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Milk

If you have 2 hours and 8 minutes to spare in your busy schedules, then you should go to the theaters to see Milk. Even if you don't have time, you NEED to go see this film.

It's one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. It's an amazingly well written, well shot film. The actors were all incredible. Sean Penn is definitely going to be nominated for an Oscar in this role as Harvey Milk.

For those who are not familiar, Harvey Milk was the first gay politician to be elected to major office in the United States. The movie takes place between 1970 and 1978, showing Milk's progression from local town gay activist to State Assemblyman. You may have heard of the Castro District, a gay community within San Francisco. Well, Harvey Milk was the one responsible for turning that area into a gay friendly place.

And all of the voting and the protests in the movie of course reminded me of Prop 8 here in California. And it made me think WHY this movie didn't come out before the elections? It would've been such a powerful message. And I think it would've gotten more voters out there to vote No on Prop 8.

I don't want to ruin anything (even though the movie ruins itself in the beginning... and not that Milk's life can't be researched anyway), but it really made me cry. Not just the ending, but several other parts of the movie were very touching. Just watching some of the gay movements that Milk was responsible for, and all that he did for the gay community really touched me. I found myself relating to a lot of things that happened in the movie. And it really brought tears to my eyes knowing that Harvey Milk accomplished so much for the gay community, and that the reason that I have the choice to be so free about my homosexuality is due in major part to him. He was the first gay person to go out and fight for the rights of gay people and I want to thank him for that.

So please go and watch Milk whenever you get the chance. You really won't be disappointed. And for those who have already seen it, any thoughts from you all?

Monday, December 15, 2008

WeHo w/ the Boys

So here's my more detailed post about my night in West Hollywood with the boys.

The night started out at my apartment. Miles and I got ready at my place because we had work during the day. So we showered and got dressed. Jon came over as well to make dirty martinis for Miles and himself... to sort of get the night started. I was the designated driver, so I didn't have a glass... or did I?


HAHA, don't worry.. that's not a real martini. I just poured some Simply Lemonade (the best brand of lemonade there is!!) and just pretended. It made for a cool photo tho, right? :)

By 9:15, the rest of the boys, Reggie and Kevin, arrived as well and we were ready to head out! (Reggie and Kevin are Miles' good friends. It was cool to hang out and get to know them better) It took me about 45 minutes to get there. We looked for some street parking, but that was a futile attempt. So we just decided to fork over the cash and pay for parking in a lot.

We walked over to The Factory where the Instinct party was held, but if you read the previous post then you know that the party had already ended when we got there. LAME SAUCE. We were already there, and we weren't going to just leave, so of course we decided to go bar hopping. We decided on Fiesta Cantina to start, mostly because of their 2 for 1 Drink Special. I got two Midori Sours. Yummy.

Unfortunately, I couldn't even finish one of them before I started feeling woozy. My heart started to pound real hard too. And then I just got REAL sleepy all of a sudden. My eyes would shut without me even knowing and then a few seconds later, I would realize that I was falling asleep and have to wake myself up. The bar stool that I was sitting on was right up against the wall, so I just leaned back into the wall and I definitely fell asleep a couple of times. Kevin tried showing me a picture he took on his phone but I was totally asleep. Miles had to yell at me to wake up! LOL. After him yelling at me, I felt more awake and made a conscious effort to keep my eyes open. And from then on, I was much better. But it was definitely my cue to NOT drink anymore. So Jon drank the rest of my drinks.

And let me say that Fiesta Cantina had quite a few cute boys! Some of them were just my type: cute white boys, blonde, athletic to muscular build. MMMM. YUMMY. Of course, none of those type of guys would EVER give me a second look. But they were nice to gawk at, nonetheless :)

Then, Miles' friend from Instinct (Robert) showed up with his boyfriend (Jarrod). It was Robert's birthday so we wished him a very Happy Birthday. It was my first time meeting Robert, and he's SUCH a nice guy! And I have to say he's a REAL cutie too. :) They stayed for a while with us in Fiesta Cantina, but then we all decided to go ahead to Eleven to do a little dancing. :)

When we got to Eleven, we saw that there was a long line to get in, so we said "screw that" and walked into East West instead. Not crowded at all. In fact, I probably prefer East West because it's very relaxed. There were couches everywhere and we grabbed one and sat down.

While in a very relaxed setting, there were quite a few weirdos there as well. First of all, there was an older guy who had a nice body that was clearly drunk. When we first got there, we just see him throw this guy onto the couch and then start humping him right then and there. After about 20 seconds of that, he got off him and apologized for doing it. Apparently, they didn't know each other. HAHA. And then he proceeded to take off his shirt in front of the window so that people walking on the streets would yell and holler at him. HAHA.. crazy guy.

Also, there were two older lesbian ladies who were clearly drunk. One of them was much drunker than the other and started to dance with any gay guy she had in sight. Unfortunately, Robert fell victim to her, and being a super nice guy, just went along with it. It looked like he had fun though :)


There's the drunk lesbian on the left and Robert falling over laughing at her. It looks like she's calling him over to dance some more. Also, if you click the pic to enlarge it, you'll notice the gays in the back just cracking up at the lesbian. LOL.

I really had a great time there. And it was just fun to be out with a bunch of boys. And tho it would've been nice to have met a boy while I was out there too (hehehe), I really wasn't expecting that and I was just happy to be having fun with friends.

Top to Bottom, Left to Right: Jarrod, Robert, Miles, Jon, Kevin, Me, Reggie

I'm really not a bar hopping, club dancing, drinking at parties kind of guy. But I enjoy myself when I do go out and do that stuff. I'm actually proud of myself for being able to have some fun outside my apartment. LOL. I do wish I went out to have fun more often. I really am wasting my time when I just sit at home and watch TV alone. I could be out having fun with friends, meeting new people. It really MUST be one of my New Year's Resolutions... if not THE most important one of them all. I need to stop being a lazy ass and get myself out there. I'm 24 years old and I need to start living life before it's too late.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Night Out to WeHo

So I posted before about going to the Instinct Magazine party in West Hollywood. So the boys and I got ready and got there around 10:30pm or so. When we got to the front of the club, they were taking down the Instinct banners and signs. Miles saw one of his friends that work at Instinct and asked what was going on. Apparently, the party was only from 8-10pm. And the 600+ people that were there had all left already. LOL. How ridiculous. What kind of West Hollywood party ends at 10?! haha.

Well, basically, we just went bar hopping the rest of the night. I had a lot of fun with the boys just drinking and messing around. This happened Friday night, so I'm actually late in posting this for you all. But I had a busy day today and I think I'm going to save all the picture posting and details until tomorrow. :)

In other news, my shoulder is getting better. I decided to try and do some push ups again tonight. Well, after 10, I didn't feel any pain, so I just kept going. I got up to 50 and decided to stop... And when I say "I decided" I mean my arms were tired. heh. But 50 is pretty good for not doing any push ups for the past 2 weeks right? I took a small break (maybe 90 seconds) and then did another 25 push ups. Then I called it a night. My RIGHT shoulder is actually starting to hurt a bit now (it was my left before), so I'm not going to push it any further.. But I'm definitely going to try and get back into a workout routine.

Speaking of that, I'm actually going to be discontinuing my 24 Hour Fitness gym membership.. well.. I'm going to put it on hold for now. I am REALLY tight on money, so that's one cost that I have to forgo for now. Besides, my apartment complex has a gym that I can utilize. I also had to put my Netflix account on hold. AND my porn subscription! >:( Ok, well only one out of two subscriptions. LOL. Porn is a NECESSITY! HAHA. Hopefully, cutting these costs will make it a little better on my wallet.

Well, stay tuned for the pics from WeHo!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Being a Good Friend

I just got off the phone with Jon. He called me at 1:40am after his date tonight. We talked for a good 20 minutes, him telling me how the date went and everything that happened. I won't get into any details about his date and his situation, cuz it's none of my business to tell. But I do want to share how nice it feels that Jon thinks of me as a good enough friend to call me literally RIGHT after his date to tell me all about it.

Throughout my life, I feel like I've had many really good friends. I belonged to a circle of friends. But I never really opened up to them. And though I had one or two friends who I called my best friends, I feel like I never actually was a very good best friend to them. I mean, how could I really have called them my best friend if I never let them know who I truly was?

But now, I really think I can call Jon one of my best friends. After all, he was the very first friend that I came out to. And since then, we've been able to share a lot of things with each other. I've opened up to him about so many things and it's great to have someone that really knows me.. instead of the "fake" me that everyone else sees.

I'm happy to be there for Jon and I hope that he thinks of me as one of his good/great/best friends as well.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Jizz In My Pants

This is just way too funny not to post. Sure helped me with my depression for those two minutes I watched it! Here's the latest SNL sketch featuring Andy Samberg. It's so freakin hilarious. My favorite part is: "I just ate a grape and I..." HAHA. And look for the Justin Timberlake cameo. haha!

Jon Stewart Rocks My Socks

Jon Stewart is one of my favorite people in the entire world. I don't know why I stopped putting "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" on my DVR!

Here he is with Governor Mike Huckabee, debating about same sex marriage. I just really appreciate that the two of them had a very civil, intelligent debate on this topic... with a little humor thrown in as well, of course.



(Thanks Ja from gym ra(n)t for this video!)
My favorite quote from the video: "At what age did you choose to not be gay?" GO JON STEWART!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Feeling Depressed

**Just letting everyone know, I put up an "Important People" and "Important Posts" section in the sidebar to help those who are new and want to know a little more about my life**

I can't help it but I'm feeling a bit depressed. First off, I woke today with pain in my left arm/shoulder. My shoulder has been bothering me for about 2 weeks now. It's due to lifting heavy "objects" at work. :P They first told me it was bicep tendinitis, but now I'm getting a tingling feeling down my arm and into my forearm. It used to only hurt when I would place my arm in a certain position or when I'm actually doing the lifting. But now, even when I'm just sitting here, I can feel the tingle. It's really bothering me now and it's just getting me down in the dumps that I can't use my arm that much and that I'm not working out my upper body at all anymore because of it. All my progress that I made with the Hundred Push Up Program is pretty much wasted now...

Second, I am plain broke. I have almost NO money in my bank account, yet I have a bunch more bills to pay this month. I can only barely afford food! I won't be able to buy anyone Christmas presents this year, and it just sucks. I'm so worried about my financial situation. I just need to get a 2nd job somewhere. I would LOVE to work at a Starbucks but I hear they're on a hiring freeze right now. I could start doing substitute work at middle and high schools but my schedule at my current job isn't going to allow for that until at least January... and I need the money NOW!

Third, I'm just plain lonely. I've expressed this before in previous posts. I just want someone to be there when I get home and give me a big hug and tell me they love me. HAHA. That's a lot to ask for. But it's just depressing that I'm nowhere near any of that stuff.

I don't like being depressed. I don't like to hang my head low. I don't like to frown. And especially compared to the problems and troubles that other bloggers are going through right now, mine are just plain silly. But I can't help it right now and I just need something/someone to get me out of this and tell me that everything is going to be alright.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Jamie Saga Continues

Just when I thought I had gotten over Jamie and had stopped thinking about him, he gets on Facebook and comments on two of my videos that I posted. They were just videos of me and my friends at Disney World and Disneyland.

They were short comments: "Awesome Video Doug!" and "WOW!

But when I got the emails notifying me of these comments from Jamie, I got hit with a bunch of different emotions. I was excited to be hearing from him. I was surprised that he initiated some sort of contact with me. I was angry at him for ignoring me in the past. And I was disappointed in myself for letting him get to me again.

I just kinda sat there, looking at the comments for a minute or two. And everything that happened between Jamie and me just came rushing back. I thought I had pushed the thoughts away by now but it re-surfaced again. I hate myself for letting that get to me. I thought that I had gotten over him, but it obviously wasn't the case.

I wrote back on his Facebook, thanking him for the comments. I didn't want to just ignore him. Am I just a big sucker? Should I have just ignored him? I just felt the need to reply. So we'll see if he says anything back, I guess...

Instinct Magazine Party!

This Friday is the Instinct Magazine Leading Men/11 Year Anniversary Party in West Hollywood and I've been invited to go! If you don't know already, Instinct Magazine is America's #1 gay men magazine and has information about fashion, health, and lifestyle. OH, and they have pictures of really hot guys as well.


Miles is really good friends with Instinct's senior graphic designer and he got us in! When asked if I wanted to go, of course I said YES! I didn't need my new "Yes Man" philosophy for that one! Um, hot gay boys walking around everywhere? Who would say no??

So this Friday, we all have work until 7:30... so we're going to HAUL ASS after work to get changed into our nice outfits and then make it up to West Hollywood, hopefully, before 9. Free booze until 10. LOL.

I am wearing my white button-up shirt, grey pinstripe dress pants, a black vest, and Kenneth Cole black shoes. I am debating whether or not I want to wear my glasses that night too... perhaps I'll use my one of my last two pairs of contacts. Or I can wear my emo thick black frame glasses. Just wanna make sure I look good!!

I can't wait to see the hot boys there! I'll make sure to post some pictures from the event when I get back from it though. :)

Monday, December 8, 2008

Yes Man

Tonight, after work, I went to see the movie "4 Christmases" with Miles and Jen. It was funny, but it wasn't as funny as some of my friends said it would be. I wouldn't say I was disappointed... but I just wish it was funnier.

Well, one of the previews before the movie was the new Jim Carrey movie, "Yes Man." Basically, Jim Carrey's character is a guy that likes to say "no" to everything. One day, he gets dragged into a motivational gathering of some kind and the motivational speaker tells him that he's not living his life because he's always declining everything. So he challenges him to say YES to whatever opportunity is brought before him.

I find this a very interesting idea. An idea that I should think about adopting myself. Ok, so it's just silly to say yes to EVERYTHING... but it definitely wouldn't hurt to say yes to more things. Instead of defaulting to "no," maybe I can at least give more thought to a "yes" answer. For example, tonight, my friend from work left me a voicemail on my phone asking if I wanted to hang out with him and other friends from work at the beach for a bonfire. This friend who called me isn't a close friend and his friends aren't part of my circle of friends, so I would have kind of been the outsider at the bonfire. And knowing that, I defaulted to "no" and declined the offer. BUT, what if I had said "yes?" I would've gone to the bonfire and probably gotten to know him a little better. I may also have made some new friends while at the bonfire. But because I am 1) so complacent with my life and 2) too chicken to meet new people, I said "no."

Well, I think it's time to change that. If I don't change, I'm going to be stuck in the horrible rut that I'm in right now. If I don't change, then I will never turly live my life. So, as I write this blog, I am telling myself that I am making a conscious effort to change. I will take advantage of and say "yes" to as many opportunities as I can (as long as it doesn't break the bank or compromise my safety!). And who knows? Maybe by doing this, I can meet a guy! ;)

What do you guys think of this idea? Are there any specific moments in your life that you said "NO" to but wish you had said "YES?"

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Deleted Post

Well, last night, I made a post, and then regretted it this morning. So I deleted it. Was just kind of embarrassing.. especially if my friends were to read it. So I decided not to keep it up.

But I wish I kept some parts of it. I wrote a lot about an online friend that I reconnected with: Mikey. He lives in Portland, OR. We started chatting back in 2004 when Yahoo Messenger had awesome chat rooms. But after the summer of 2004, they took those chat rooms away, and pretty soon, I sort of lost touch with all my friends that I made on those chats.

Well, about a week and half ago, Mikey came back on Yahoo. It was a nice surprise. And we started talking again. He was always one of my favorite people to chat with in those chats. Since it was a Gay chat room, it was my one and only place to talk about gay stuff. And that's why I think I went back every night and established friendships with these guys. Mikey would actually get on his mic and talk to us instead of type because he hated to type. And I loved hearing his voice. His was a lower, sexy voice. I like guys with a deeper, manly voice. :)

So when we chatted again last week, I was glad that he was getting on his mic again. I got on cam for him (which I did back in 2004 too), but now I also had a mic. So we talked to each other for over an hour last week. Just about everything. And of course the conversation got into sex and how horny we were. And we had some fun together. :P

Same thing happened last night. And ... I'm not going into details this time because that was where it got embarrassing. It wasn't embarrassing DURING our chat... I just don't want to repeat it here....

So I'm very happy that I reconnected with Mikey and I hope we chat more often. He's a really cool guy. And if we lived closer together, I would definitely have to say that I'd pursue him. In our few chats this week, he had already expressed his interest in me... if only I lived closer.

Story of my life, right? I really think I'm living in the wrong part of the country... I just don't think anyone around here has ANY interest in me. Any suggestions as to where I should move?

Friday, December 5, 2008

Twilight and Polls

Tonight, Davie convinced me to go watch Twilight with him in the theaters. It ended up being a group of 5 of us watching together. This is Davie's SIXTH time seeing this movie. HAHA, he's obsessed.

During this summer, all my friends at work were super-crazy-obsessed with the Twilight books. Everyone had one of the books in their hands and were reading them franctically in anticipation of the movie coming out. I thought it was such a stupid obsession and just a dumb fad that I didn't want to be a part of.

Well, finally, I was convinced by Davie to go see it. I just wanted to see what this Twilight stuff is all about. I mean, it's definitely my cup of tea. I like sci-fi movies dealing with mythological creatures. You all know now that I was/am a big Buffy fan, so vampires definitely pique my interest. So, I said, "what the hell" and decided to go.

I must say that the movie was pretty good. A good balance of action and romance. It was an interesting story and it set up the mythology of the series very well. The characters were developed alright - though I wish there was more exploration of some of the characters.

All the Twilight fans have been going ape-shit over the character Edward Cullen (the main vampire character) played by Robert Pattinson. They're all soooo in love with him because they think he's SOOO hot. BLAH BLAH.. I really don't see it. Sure, there were some scenes where he was pretty cute. But I guess he just isn't my type.

But let me just say that I TOTALLY wanted to see more of Emmett Cullen played by Kellan Lutz! OMG, I'll take him over Edward ANY DAY! SO freakin hot. And if you don't believe me, here are some pictures of him to drool over.





Omg so freakin hot!! Especially that last picture of him! ::melt:: He can turn me into a vampire any time! mmmmmmmm... I will totally go see the movie again just to see him. His was one of the characters that I wanted more exploration of! Hopefully we get to see more of him in the next movie! :)

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The Polls! So the CUISINE poll has ended. Thank you everyone for voting. It was cool to see what type of foods everyone likes.

For a while, Italian and Japanese were tied at 1st. But towards the last few days, Italian inched ahead and got 46% of the votes. Japanese received 32% of the votes. Americana was third with 25%. Chinese and Mexican cuisine came after that. And then there were some votes for British, Indiana, French, Greek, and Thai foods. All very yummy. :)

NEXT POLL: What kind of car do you drive?! These are the standard car categories so hopefully everyone's car(s) fit into one of them. And PLEASE let me know what car you actually drive. Would love to know! :)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

10 Things About Me

Well, I know I'm a little late to the game with these "10 things about me" posts, but I figured this would be the perfect time for me to do it since it's my 100th blog post! It was a little over 3 months ago when I first started this post. It's amazing to think that I've had so many experiences in such a short amount of time. And I'm so happy that I started the blog so that I can look back on everything I went through. And I'm also so happy to have you guys out there to chat with and share these experiences with. I've gotten to know some of you pretty well.

But I know that there are so many more of you out there. SO please don't be afraid to write me a comment or an email (nytedragon@gmail.com) or even a message on Yahoo (NerdeusMaximus) or AIM (PowerOfBlast1). I would love to get to know more of you!

So I dedicate this 100th Post to all of you out there! =)

1. I was born in Hong Kong, China in the 22nd hour of October 17, 1984. I am six years younger than my sister. My parents had apparently tried really hard for another baby after my sister and were ecstatic to find out that they were having a son. Asians have this thing about favoring having sons over daughters... passing down the family line and blah blah blah. Wow, what a disappointment I'm going to be to them if/when they found out that I'm gay...

2. I have a "body cracking" routine when I go to sleep. When I get in bed, I lie on my back and bring my knees (one at a time) up and slightly to the side of my chest. This pops my hips. Then I keep my knees to my chest and twist my lower body to one side while keep my upper body still. This helps crack me back/spine. I do this on both sides, which relieves SOO much tension off my lower back. (I've mentioned that I have scoliosis so I have a lot of tension on my lower back). Then I adjust my hips left and right to make sure I'm comfortable. Then I bring my right ear to my right shoudler, and use my arm to assist my neck to crack. I do the same on the left side. Then I clasp my hands behind my head and bring my chin to my chest, slowly moving my head left and right. This cracks and relieves tension off my upper spine. And after all that, I'm totally relaxed and I usually fall asleep within a few minutes. Feels SOOOO good!

3. I have decided that my favorite movie is "Love Actually." Watched it tonight and loved every minute of it. Some of the scenes just makes me cry like a baby cuz it's so beautiful. The whole movie so well written!

4. I have secret aspirations to become a Broadway star. I think that would be the coolest thing to perform on Broadway. If only I could sing or dance...

5. When I was 15, my dad found me watching gay porn on my computer. Naturally, he and my mom freaked out. I don't really remember much because it was a pretty traumatic experience for me. I do remember my mom having a conversation with me asking me if it was my choice to watch the gay porn and then something about genetics. Hm...... Interesting. But that night, my dad came in my room and sat me down. Basically grilled me questions. Don't remember much of these questions. But he was basicaly demanding that I wasn't going to be looking at that stuff anymore. Wow, I just don't remember much from that night at all. But after a few days, to make my mom and dad happy, I remember going into their room and telling them that I had a crush on a girl at school. To this day, my mom still asks me about her.

6. I dated my ex-girlfriend for 6+ years. I've mentioned my ex-gf, Jen, before and how we're still great friends now. So now you know that we have a lot of history together. We started dating when I was a senior in HS and she was a junior. We had some really great times. But I already knew I liked boys at the time, even though I was trying to supress it. I tried convincing myself that I really did like girls, but as years went by, I just couldn't deny it any more. Then one day, while I was on a family vacation in Japan with my family, my ex-gf snooped on my computer and found my porn. She was really angry at me, but when I got back to the US, we decided, somehow, that we would work it out. I don't know what the hell we were thinking. I don't exactly know what we planned when we said we would work it out. I guess maybe I was going to supress my feelings for boys. But it never worked. And finally, after another year, we decided to officially break up. Yes, a year. And it was a pretty sad year. We practically never saw each other (even though we lived together) and just ignored and avoided the problem. Breaking up was the best decision that we made for the both of us. We moved out in June of this year, and the rest is what you all have been reading here.

7. I have a pillow that I have to sleep with at night. It's a pillow that I've had since I was 2. Yes, the same exact pillow. It's a very small pillow... the pillows that you would give to babies. And that's why I call it "Small Pillow." It's the same pillow, but a different pillowcase. But this particular pillowcase I've actually had since I was 6. I sleep with it in my arms every night. I don't take it with me on trips though.. just when I'm at home. These days, I just pretend Small Pillow is a boy that I love and I'm cuddling with him while I sleep.

8. I was, and still am, a HUGE Buffy The Vampire Slayer fan. I wasn't a fan of the movie.. just the TV series. I have all 7 seasons on DVD. And I also have the spinoff series, Angel, all on DVD as well. It was 8 years of my life (Angel went on for one more year longer than Buffy), and I loved every part of it.

9. I have never done anything that you would count as "outdoorsy." I have never gone camping. I have never been at a bonfire. I have never been backpacking. The closest was going to Band Camp up in the mountains, but we still had cabins to stay in and stuff. So it really doesn't count. Though I say I would LOVE to go camping some day, I feel like I'd be too much of a city boy to enjoy "grunging" it in the outdoors. But maybe if I was with a boy that I really like, it wouldn't matter ;)

10. I am Blue-Purple color blind. Those color blind tests with the dots and you see numbers... I can't do those. Most of them, I can't see the correct numbers. They make it so that if you're a certain type of color blindness, we see a different number than those with normal vision. I remember my first time taking the test at the eye doctors, and the doctor had my mom come into the room. I said some number, and my mom was like, "Are you serious? That's the number that you see?" And I was like... "Yea, what's the problem??" LOL. So I can't really distinguish blues and purples very well. I also use it as an excuse for my horrible fashion sense. :P

Well, I hope that this gas given you a better glimpse into my life. If you have any questions or comments about any of it, PLEASE don't hesitate to contact me. Again, I love to make new friends online, so just go ahead and email or IM me. :) I promise I'm a nice guy!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Responding to Comments

I just want to thank everyone for taking the time to answer some of those questions. Those two questions about Date Guy Matt and my friend (Jeffrey) breaking up were more questions for myself to find out and ponder. But I definitely thought through all of your responses to the other questions and I think it has really helped me make a decision about this guy.

HCI: Shouldn't him being Jeffrey's ex affect things? I mean, would you want your friend dating your ex? That just keeps going through my head. Or is that not that big of a deal anymore? I really don't know. And I guess I would have to ask Jeffrey. BUT, he's still in Paris and hardly ever gets online. Oh.. and the other thing.. he doesn't know I'm gay yet.. That creates a problem...

Gay Snowboarder: I tend to stress over guys, don't I? That's bad... You're right that not too much energy should be wasted on him... but he's just some damn HOT though. It's hard to get over that.

James: It's in my nature to forgive people. I hardly ever hold a grudge... He really should've called or contacted me in SOME way. But at least he did apologize afterwards, right?

Midori: You're totally right... I made it too big of a deal. Again, I tend to do that a lot. Perhaps, in the future, I need to just calm down more and not stress over it and blow it out of proportion. And yes, shelving him as a possible friend/date sounds like a good idea. I don't think I should put too much stock in this guy.

Aron: A little obsessive? What made you think that? lol. And I will try to detach myself from any expectations. Thank you for that advice.

E: Haha... simple and succinct. Thanks.

AJ: Yeah - he SHOULD make it up to me! So we'll see how it goes.

Steevo: Flakes.... hate them. Unless they're Frosted Flakes... in which case they're G-R-R-R-EAT!

Joshua: I think you hit the nail on the head about how him being Jeffrey's ex affects things. And I seriously wouldn't know if Jeffrey would approve or not. There's just so many "what ifs" to this situation!

Barry: (From Yahoo chat) He definitely does owe me... so you're right in telling me not to go out of my way to chat with him. And yeah, why didn't he message me sooner? What IS he trying to avoid?

So I really want to thank you guys for commenting and giving me your advice.
My Decision: I'm going to STOP initiating contact with him. If he wants to talk to me, then he'll message me. If he does, then I will talk to him and see where it goes. And he definitely would have to make up for standing me up some how. For now, I will try not to let my knowledge of him being Jeffrey's ex affect me. I think we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. If he doesn't contact me, then whatever... his loss, I guess. I mean, it's going to be hard to just stop contacting him because he's seriously the hottest guy that's ever paid any attention to me, but what good is he if he's not into me?

I'm glad I've made this decision and even more thankful that I had you guys to help me through it. All you guys are THE BEST! :)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Date Guy Matt

Ok, so more about Date Guy Matt. Logged on to the dating site and got a message from him.

hey, im sorry. things got busy for me here - family ended up coming over since we didnt ALL get together for the holiday. lets try and reschedule tho. it wasnt intentional

I asked about his phone and his AIM and he said his phone has been acting up and his AIM logs on automatically on his computer that he doesn't use. Sounds like excuses... but I guess I'm too nice and gave him another chance. So I started emailing back and forth again.

Well, today, my buddy Jon calls me up and tells me to get on Facebook to look something up. APPARENTLY, Matt and I have met before. Jon knew he had looked familiar to him. And I thought he looked familiar too. Matt is actually the ex of one of my good friends from work. My friend is in Paris right now for work, but he's back in January. Sigh... how complicated can this be?

Lots of questions:
  • Do I forgive him for standing me up?
  • Are those excuses good enough?
  • Should I continue to talk with him?
  • How does he being my friend's ex affect things?
  • How did he and my friend break up?
  • Did they even truly break up or was it because he was in a different country?
  • Is this way too many questions to waste on one guy?
How ridiculous....

Monday, December 1, 2008

Christmas @ Disneyland!

Isn't Small World so beautiful for the holidays?? Don't you wish you were here with me?! LOL.