Wedding Update

A few weeks ago, I blogged about my friend's wedding. Well, it's happening this Saturday and I seriously just want to get it over with. It's been one annoying nuisance after another and I just want to go and support my friend (who I will call DarkD) and then let it be done. Let me go through all the problems that I've had with this:

1. The Wedding Registry: The couple ONLY registered at Bloomingdale. And the stuff they registered for costs a minimum of $100. I mean, there are plates for $20 each, but who the heck buys ONE plate? And the most expensive thing on the registry is a crystal vase for $3650! Are you freakin' kidding me? Apparently, someone already got it for them. When I was in Florida, I met up with DarkD briefly and I asked him about the registry. He tells me, "Well, to be honest, [fiance] and I really don't need anything. So we just walked around the floor and picked stuff." WTF? He really must have forgotten where he came from and what kind of friends he had before he met his fiance. We're starving college students who get paid crap. What the hell was he thinking??

2. Black Tie: The invitation says Black Tie. I've never been to a black tie event before, so I instant message DarkD and I ask him to clarify. And this is the conversation (from my AIM Message Archives):

DarkD: Well, it basically means a tux.

Me: Well, I don't have a tux, but I'm planning on wearing a white collared shirt, black pants, black coat, black tie, and a charcoal vest.

DarkD: I think you should lose the vest, and wear a black bowtie with a black cummerbund.

Me: Um, ... I don't have that. Is it because the vest is gray?

DarkD: Yeah, it should be black. Here, read this: [link to fashion article]

(At this point, I read the article, which I find out was written by his fiance, who is a fashion editor, and in the section that describes black tie, it says: "For those of you who think that a black suit will fit the bill you are wrong. Don't even think about it." I get REALLY ticked off)

Me: Um, DarkD... I'm not going anymore. I don't have a tux. I'm not going.

DarkD: DL, just wear your suit. It's ok really.

Me: [Fiance] wrote this article! I'm not going to yours and his wedding in something he said not to wear!

DarkD: DL, it's my wedding too, it's ok.

Me: I'm just going to look completely out of place!

DarkD: no don't worry about it DL, i am so sure someone in my family will totally be out of place, don't worry about it. ok g2g I'll catch you later.

Let's examine that last message from DarkD.... basically, I WILL be out of place, but I just won't be alone. That's just great. I am so annoyed by him and his pretentious wedding right now. I can't stand it. But I'm not done...

3. The "Happy" Couple: The wedding has been called off 3 times now. THREE. Why? Because they've only known each other for 5 months. FIVE. According to friends, they fight constantly about small stuff. They're just not that compatible. My thoughts? DarkD is doing it for the money. [Fiance]'s dad owns several car dealerships and they live in the Upper East Side in NYC. They're loaded. And why are they getting married so soon? Their answer is that they want to do it in case they ban gay marriage after the election. Um... ok. So they're really just getting married because they can - not because they love each other? And if Prop 8 passes, then I don't think prior gay marriages will be honored anyway.

And to make matters worse, one of their friends discovered [fiance] on an internet dating site, on which he was searching for guys to hook up with. I have not gotten more information on this development, but the fact that he's on the internet dating site in the first place means that he's not serious about this wedding. And I'm not sure if I'm more mad at [fiance]'s secret internet profile or at DarkD for agreeing to a marriage with someone that he's only met for 5 months and his nonchalant behavior regarding getting married in general. Are they even happy together? Or are they only getting married because they're getting a jet out of it. Yes, you read right. [Fiance]'s mommy and daddy bought them a jet for their wedding present. What are their true intentions??

I'm really over this wedding. And so are my friends who are attending it with me. I'm just hoping that it's going to be open bar at this wedding. If it's a pretentious black tie affair, then it better be open bar. I'm not a drinker, but I'm going to need a few drinks to get through the night. And you bet I'll be updating you all on this blog after the wedding, so stayed tuned.