Update on the Drama

So I posted this as a reply to all the comments from my last post about Ohio and James and I think it warrants its own post:

"Thank you for all your comments everyone. I'm glad that everyone sees it the way I see it. But I've had the whole day to cool off and I think I'm going to just let it go and chalk it up to a lesson learned.. it'll make me a better person if I don't hold the grudge. I mean, it was early enough that there really was no harm done, so I can't really be that mad.

I'll speak to James again, but I don't think our friendship can be the same as before. And I've already spoken briefly with Ohio again, just to keep things civil.

Am I being much too nice a person?..."

Why You Can't Trust Your "Friends"

Tonight, I learned that you really just can't trust your "friends."

This is all out of order now because I was going to blog about a new boy that I started seeing. This new boy, we'll call him Ohio, is cute and we had a lot of interests in common. I found out that he works at Disneyland too and that we were actually neighbors. He lives across the street from me. So we hung out one night and just talked and talked and it was fun. We also watched TV together and had lunch, so things were (I thought) going pretty well.

2 days ago, he came to watch me in the parade, which was really cute. My friend in the parade, James, spotted him out in the crowd and asked who he was and I told him he was a boy that I was starting to see and going on a date with. James said he was really cute and I could tell he was jealous.

That night, James Facebook chatted me and asked me about him. He asked for his name and I told him. And then he said he's friend request him on Facebook. Half-jokingly I told him, "Don't steal him from me!" And he just said he just wanted to check him out on Facebook and be friends. And all I could say back was, "Well, you do whatever you want James" because it was too late now. He already had his name and could look him up. I already had a bad feeling about it as soon as that conversation was over.

The next day, Ohio asks me who this James person was because he friend requested him on Facebook. I told him that he was a friend from parades and I had told him his name because he had asked. Ohio said he recognized him from the parade but just wanted to make sure and that he doesn't accept friend requests from people he doesn't know.

Yesterday, before work, I asked what Ohio was doing and he said he was going to be in the park the whole day and he'll watch me in the parade again. I asked what he was doing afterwards and said he already had plans with his roommates. Oh well. So he watched the parade and I danced for him. Again, cute that he came to watch.

I went home and started watching TV. An hour later, I looked at my Facebook and saw that Ohio had mobile uploaded a photo of himself and James on Space Mountain! I saw the picture and I was sooooo freakin' livid. I was actually shaking and just couldn't move for a few minutes. I was so mad! I text James: "Wow..." And he had the audacity to pretend he didn't know what was wrong. I told him he knows exactly what is wrong and don't play dumb. Played dumb again. Here's the text conversation.. (and I left all of his spelling/grammar mistakes in)

Me:  Hope you have fun with your new friend. I can't believe you...
 
James:  Doug seriously. Why r u being like that.
 
Me:  You know if you just told me, I probably wouldn't be this upset. That's messed up and you know it. And it doesn't matter what your intentions are with him. Even tho im pretty sure what they are. It's hard enough for me to find new friends... Why couldn't you find your own?
 
James:  Wow. How older than u r than me and ur reacting like this seriously. You've been on dates with him I haven't. Really.
 
Me:  There's nothing wrong with what you did.. It's how you did it. Seriously you could have told me.
 
James:  exactly what did I do ?!!!
 
Me:  James, it's simple courtesy to tell me that you were going to hang out with him. You know Im interested him. It's the least you could have done.

No responses (for a while) after that. In the meanwhile, Ohio texts me as well:

Ohio: Hey don't be mad at James. I'm sorry this was my fault. I should have told you. If you're upset, be upset at me

I didn't respond to him at all. I just wasn't in the mood to talk to him either. you know, we had only hung out a little bit and nothign really happened between us yet. So we weren't really much more than friends yet. But I started to like him because he was nice and easy to talk to. But no matter how long I had known him, James knew that I was interested in him and that we were going on dates.

At midnight, James and Ohio both text me. Ohio says that it's all his fault. He was the one that messaged him and the one who invited him to hang out. He admits it was really shitty to do. I respond back that I obviously can't tell him who to hang out with but the fact that neither of them told me was what I was upset about. Ohio admits that he wanted to keep it quiet for a bit. I asked why, and he said because he didn't want to hurt me. And he kept telling me not to be mad at James. I just told him that it's as much his fault for not telling me about it.

James said he doesn't want to lose me as a friend and doesn't want this to come between us. He says he knows he's in the wrong now but then he complains that he thinks I'm mad at his intentions. I respond back that I'm most upset about him hiding it from me, and not his intentions to "steal" him from me or whatever. He says he wasn't hiding anything. So I ask, "so you don't think there was any need for you to tell me that you guys were hanging out?" He asks, "he didn't tell you anything?" I say, "No he didn't, but you didn't think to mention it to me when you saw me at work?" He says, "He invited me after work when you were gone."

Sigh.. I was done at that point. I just said, "Ok well thanks for the explanation." Again, he says he doesn't want to lose me as a friend, but I don't respond.

Could he not have TEXT me after he got the invitation? You guys might be thinking that I totally over-reacted over a boy that I hardly even know yet.. and maybe I did a little bit. But I still think that it was a super shitty thing for BOTH of them to do. I'm really not sure who I'm mad at more. I just can't believe that a friend would do this...

Giddy

James made fun of me when I told him I was "giddy." I think it's a very appropriate word for how I'm feeling right now. It's more than just "happy" but not so much that I'm jumping for joy. Somewhere in the middle.

Why? Well, tonight, while browsing through an internet dating site, I met a guy that seems very genuine. And that's definitely tough to find on internet dating sites. This guy caught my eye with his picture. I clicked into his profile and he didn't really write a description. He just had his stats posted. I liked his stats and his pictures, so I figured I might as well write him a "hello." After a few minutes, I didn't even think that I'd get a response. But I got a response! And he asked how I was doing, which meant he was interested in some sort of conversation. So from there on, we greeted each other... talked about what we were doing at the moment (both of us were watching TV)... what plans we had for this Thanksgiving... what our education background is... etc.

And then I decided to be bold and ask him what he was looking for on the site. And I guess it's a pretty reasonable question to ask. Most guys on there will just say that they're there for a quickie or a hookup. Well, he responds by telling me that he's looking for someone to talk with and see where things go from there. He's not into hookups - he prefers that he meet someone first, then see where things lead. But he adds that he's not saying that he's not a physical person ;)

Well that's a pretty good response, I would say! I tell him that it's completely refreshing to see that there are guys on the site that want to talk and hang out first. And that I'm looking for exactly the same thing. I also add that getting physical is definitely more fun when you've gotten to know the guy first. HEHE.

So I ask him if he'd like to grab coffee or a bite to eat some time. And he says that he'd love to! We introduce ourselves (his name is Matt) and let each other know where we live. He'd be about a 20-25 minute drive on the freeway from me. Still within the same county, but just opposite ends I guess. No biggie! We also exchange AIM screen names (FINALLY!, it was getting tedious to chat on the internet site).

On AIM, we kind of set a date for our date. :) He explains that he's going out of town for Thanksgiving this week so next week would be best. He returns on Saturday, so I suggest Sunday night after I work. I didn't want it to be any later because I don't want to wait any longer for this date to happen! lol. He also asks if I have any more pictures of me. We agree to exchange more pics.

And thanks to James for helping me choose two good pics of myself to send to him. He picked one of me that I thought I looked stupid in, but he convinced me to send it to Matt. And it definitely was a good choice because he said I looked cute (and that I had a nice sweater vest... haha). He then sent me his pics, and WOW does he have a nice smile. He looks kinda like Josh Lucas (from the movies Poseidon and Sweet Home Alabama) and Jensen Ackles (from the CW's Supernatural). I think he's REALLY good looking. And he's tall. 6'3"! I'm only 5'9", so there's kind of a height difference there... but whatever! I like taller guys!

So after the pics, we again made plans for the date. Tentative plans since it IS a week away and things may change. But we exchanged phone numbers as well. So I have his AIM and phone number. That should be enough to keep in contact with him! :)

Then I asked him about TV again and if he was still watching Seinfeld. That led to a discussion about what TV shows we like to watch. We have some of the same tastes in TV. And that's GOOD. One big one that he doesn't care for is "Friends." But I guess I can deal with that. He's into Heroes though! Very happy about that! But he tells me he hasn't watched this season at all! So I ask if he has Netflix because they just opened up the "Watch Instantly" feature on Mac computers. With that, we can watch episodes from THIS season right away on our computers! He says he doesn't have Netflix, so I slip in that he is welcome to come over any time to watch Heroes and that I wouldn't mind watching the episodes over again with him because they're really good. :P He thought it was a nice gesture and thanked me, adding that it could be fun.

And by that time, it was already midnight and he had to get to work early tomorrow. So we said our goodbyes. He told me it was great talking to me and that I should keep in touch. I tell him "of course!" and that he should feel free to IM me any time.

So, that is the reason why I'm giddy! Don't you think that's an appropriate word? I have a date planned and it's with a sweet, smart, cute guy! You know, I'm not getting my hopes up on this at all. But it's just nice to have had a conversation with someone and to have the prospect of a nice date that may develop into more. But we'll see! I mean, the date is a WEEK away. And things may change. He might change his mind about me. He may bail out before that. Who knows? But for now, I'm going to bed giddy and with a grin on my face. :)