Things Are Short Lived...

I'm not ok. I don't feel good. Will didn't turn out like I wanted. It was going to be awesome... if only he hadn't just gotten out of a relationship with his ex-bf. Now he wants to date around... see what's out there. Which I get. But then he's telling me about the guy that he went on a date with. And he's telling me that he can confide in me because he feels comfortable with me. WTF does that mean? He doesn't feel he needs to be purely romantic, purely sexual, or purely friendly with me. His words. So I'm just the in-between guy. That makes me feel SOOO good.... :-/

He's not sure if I'm the right guy.. he wants to find out what's out there first before settling. So I MAY be the one, but he doesn't know. Whatever... I told him fine... that's all great.. but I'm not going to be waiting around forever for him to figure that out.

I'm so disheartened... heartbroken... frustrated...

So Freakin' Happy

So why am I so happy? Haha. Well... Seriously 2 days after I wrote the "Search for a BF" blog post, I randomly get a message on Facebook from someone I did not know. It said something like:
"hey there. You look real familiar. Do you go to CSUF (a nearby college)? Or have you been in my Starbucks? I work at the one next to Disneyland."

So I respond:
"no I don't go to CSUF and I don't think I go to tour Starbucks enough for you to recognize me. But you are friends with a few of my friends at Disney. No matter! It's nice to meet you. And you have a great smile, btw."

I had checked out his profile to make sure he liked boys first. :P and then from there we messaged each other a few times on Facebook and learned a little more about each other. He eventually gave me his number and said "we should hang out soon."

From there we kept texting each other. I still hadn't met him yet so I found out when he was working next and told him I'd visit and get a coffee. So I stopped by. He was so excited to see me. He gave me my drink for free. :) unfortunately there was a line so I didn't stay to talk. But it served its purpose. I just wanted to see what he looked like in person. So I said we should actually have lunch and get to know each other.

We went for sushi. He loves Asian food. In fact, he loves Asians. Haha. He actually learned Chinese and is a Buddhist. He knows more Chinese than I do! He's SUPER tall. He's 6'5". And he wears really cute glasses... Such a turn on! And he's just a really sweet guy. Oh and he's HOT. Like, one of the cutest, hottest guys that I know. He's also younger.. 21. So I'm 5 years older... But it doesn't seem to bother him. Oh, and his name is Will :)

And for our first meeting, I was actually really comfortable talking to him. It was really fun to just get to know him. And I was able to talk about myself without feeling like, "am i going to say the wrong thing?"

We both enjoyed each other's company and said we felt really comfy with each other. So I asked him again what we should be... Friends with Benefits or more? I then added that I would love it if we were more than just friends with benefits because I really liked him. He immediately agreed and said he wanted more as well. So I told him that we should just go on a couple more dates to get to know each other more and not put any pressure on each other by saying we're in a relationship with each other or anything like that yet. He liked the idea.

So we hung out again a few nights ago. He came over to watch Harry Potter and he brought over a pie and ice cream. :) we cuddled up on the couch and talked and watched the movie. Soooo awesome. We stopped the movie halfway and went into my room because we couldn't keep our hands off each other :P No details... but it was definitely a good time. After that and after watching the rest of the movie, it was late. So I invited him to stay the night. :) guess he planned on it because he had clothes in the car :P

We spent the rest of the night on my bed telling each other our life story. It was great to just lay there with him and talk. I've never done that with another boy. And he would randomly just grab my face and give me a peck. So damn cute!!

Tonight, we went on another date. I originally had invited my roommate to see the Beauty and Beast stage show. I had gotten a pair of free tickets through work. This morning, my roommate texts me and offers her tickets to Will. She said that she wanted us to have a fun night out together. She's being really supportive because she wants the best for me. And I told her this is one of the nicest things she's ever done for me. :) So I offered the tickets to him and he immediately jumped at the chance. We rode in the same car to the theater.. and as we walked up to the theater, he reached for and held my hand. So cute! And after that, when we were walking around, he put his arms around me. During the show, he reached for my hand and just kissed it. He just knows what to do to put a smile on my face. :)

The show was also Will's "debut" to my friends. Two of my friends were also at the show. So he was introduced to them. One of them already knew him because Will is that awesome Starbucks barista that remembers who you are and your drink of choice. ;) But yeah, I was excited to introduce him to my friends. Because he's WAY hot and yes, I wanted to show him off! :P

After the show, we were both hungry, so we drove through a fast food joint and brought it back to my house. We just sat in bed, watching TV, and eating fast food. He said it was refreshing to be with someone that enjoyed eating. :) I had to agree.

Tomorrow night, we're going out for dinner at a place called the Boiling Crab. I've only heard GREAT things about the place and I'm excited for him to introduce me to it. I'm just super excited about spending more time with him. I'm enjoying it and letting things just happen. I'm making sure not to put pressure on each other and I think that's what making being with him enjoyable. :) YAY! So happy!

(BTW! This was my 300th Post! YAY!)

Never Too Early

It's NEVER to early in my books for CHRISTMAS music! I love listening to Christmas music! It just makes me happy to listen to the songs that I grew up with and all the new songs that have been created in recent years. It just makes me think about being around friends and family... it always brings a smile to my face. :) I love this time of year --- and I won't let anyone tell me that it's too early!!

'Tis the Season everyone!!

The Search for a BF

More and more, I'm thinking about how nice it would be to have a relationship with a guy that I love and that loves me back for who I am. I hadn't really thought too much about having a boyfriend until recently. I mean, yes, I've wanted to meet guys and date. But I think I'm finally ready to have a relationship with a boy. I've become a LOT more comfortable with myself and how I live my life. It would just be great to have someone to have fun with, laugh with, talk to, etc.

The only problem is, I still haven't figured out how to find the guy of my dreams. I seem to be looking in all the wrong places. When will I finally find him? And how will it end up happening?