Malibu Boy

I tend to write a blog post every time I meet a new boy that has "potential." I have no idea if I'm jinxing myself or not by doing this, but I guess I always just have an urge to share. So it's been a while since Will. That ended in December. There have been two more guys that were more than just the casual one-time date. But obviously, they didn't work out.

This new boy, dubbed Malibu (cuz he lives in Malibu), is super cute, has a very attractive body, and has a really nice personality. He's very laid back. He's also very smart and motivated. And I can tell he's a really sweet and kind person. We met on OKCupid. He actually messaged me first. And I must say that the guys that usually message me, I'm not interested in. So when I got a message from this attractive guy that I seemed to have lots in common with, I was rather surprised and excited.

We just messaged each other back and forth for a bit, asking each other questions about ourselves. Finally, he asked if we wanted to exchange Facebooks and I said YES because I was dying to see my more pictures of him. I wasn't disappointed. He's just as cute in all of his pictures and I found out that he has traveled to so many places in the world. Something that I'm totally jealous about! He also loved seeing all my pictures (especially the really embarrassing ones from Disney. haha). We chat for a bit in the Facebook chat, but it wasn't long before he asked for my number. So of course I gave it to him. :)

I warned him that I'm a HUGE texter. And maybe he didn't believe me... but after a day, he said, "Wow you do like to text!" And I immediately got scared because that didn't sound very good. I apologized... not knowing what to say to that. But he reassured me it was ok and he was just kind of playing with me. Guess it was my paranoia because I tend to just text like crazy and it probably comes off as real needy. The fact is that i'm BORED and I just find texting to be a good way to pass the time. But anyway...

We decided on meeting up. I would drive up to him to have a dinner and a movie. He chose a nice, quaint, outdoor French cafe where we would share a fondue. I had never actually had fondue before so it was a neat new experience. We just talked and got to know more of each other. We're both a bit quiet so it was a little hard to get conversation going. But it wasn't painful. I just really wish I was better at conversations. I really is my biggest downfall :(

We chose to watch Scream 4 in the theaters. I paid for the movie because I already had pre-paid movie passes. OH and I paid for dinner too. I snatched up the bill when it came and he tossed over his credit card, but I pushed it back and offered to pay the whole thing. Right move to make, right?

So in the movie theater... not much talking going on in there, so maybe that was a good thing since we're both not very good at starting conversations. In the middle of the movie, I put my arm on the arm rest and my hand got near his hand. That was my move. He took the signal and kinda inched his pinky onto my hand, so I quickly grabbed onto his hand... a scary part was coming up so I was glad he did it. :P By the way.. I'm SOOO bad when it comes to watching scary movies. I JUMP at the slightest thing. You'd probably be embarrassed to know me if you were with me in the theaters watching a scary movie. BUT, I tried to keep it in control as much as possible when with him. I kinda took advantage of that a little bit to get closer to him ;) He didn't seem to mind. Plus he was saying he was cold in the theater so I tried to get close without making it obvious that we were two gay guys holding onto each other.

Well, I thought the movie went well so I was slightly confident with how the date was going. We walked out of the theater and it was already 1am so we knew we were parting ways. We parked in opposite directions so I asked if he would take me to my car since he knew his way around. When we got into the car, he asked what music I like. I said everything but rap. He seemed a little disappointed in that answer. And then I asked what his schedule is like and what days he has school. Trying to figure out what days we could get together again... So by the time we got to my car, I asked him when he would be free again. He answers, "Well, I'm pretty busy with school... I have finals in a week, and then it's my graduation.. so I'm busy." Hearing that, I just kinda took the hint that he wasn't interested. I mean, if he WAS interested, he wouldn't have said all that right? So I just kinda turned to him and said "well, you just let me know when you're free if you still want to hang out then." So with a little disappointment, I turned to him in my seat and motioned for a hug goodnight instead of the kiss goodnight that I would've like.

I got out of his car and walked to my car, all the while thinking, "well, I guess I blew it somehow. Didn't go as well as I had hoped." He drove off and I was on my way. I had about a 30-40 min drive to get back home, but I didn't want to wait until I got home to send the obligatory "I had a fun time" text. So I broke my rule of No Texting While Driving and sent him a text. He text me back and asked if I was home already. I said no. He asked "what about your no texting while driving rule?" I said, "I made an exception for you." hehehehe. good one right? He said back, "Aww. I had a good time too. I'm surprised you didn't kiss me." GASP, did I read his signals wrong? I told him I really wanted to but I wasn't sure if he wanted me to. And then he told me that he would've enjoyed a kiss goodnight. I sent back "*kicks self for missing out on kissing a great guy* I hope I get another chance." Aren't I just the cutest? LOL

So when I got home, we text each other a bit more and he asks if I had Skype. I said yes. He said he asked because he'd like that kiss goodnight. Hehe. Very cute. But I don't really do well with webcams. You'd think maybe on webcam, conversations would be easier than in real life. But it actually is more awkward for me. I don't know. I'm just weird I guess. So we turn on the webcam and he's super hot and shirtless. And I'm all frumpy with Asian fro hair. We just kinda talk about nothing and then I offer him the kiss goodnight. It was really cute and sweet that he wanted to Skype. It meant he wanted to see me and that he's still interested, so I'm happy with that.

This was actually just the night before. So it's rather new. I just hope that he doesn't play games. I don't really want to play games anymore. You know... the I'm gonna wait until he texts me first. And if he texts too much, then he's just too needy. And if he makes himself too available then I'm going to lose interest. Argh. Why does that happen? I just feel like with these games, noone ever wins. So I hope he's not that kind of guy. We seem to have things in common so hopefully we have feelings about not playing games in common too.

I'll most likely update more about Malibu on my Twitter. So if you wanna know more, I'd suggest you follow me on Twitter @nytedragon.

Well it's super late. We just had another Skype date because he text me and asked if I could get on to wish him goodnight. So cute. Again, he was hot and shirtless. I told him he's just so cute. He seemed to like that. I mean, who doesn't like to be told that they're cute, right? ;) Well, anyway.. heading to bed. Fingers crossed for this one, ok?

Response to Comments

So I got a few comment on my last post about my date, so I thought I'd just respond to them in a post. The more and more I think about the date, the more I realize how shitty it really was. Sigh... Anyway, here are the responses:

x!: no.. I don't think I'll be calling him again anytime soon. I'm not even sure what to do with his AIM screen name on my buddy list...

Aron: yeah, a bar is a bad choice. And when I was in the car, I even mentioned to him that I'm not a big drinker. But he took me to the bar anyway... guess he wasn't listening. And I guess it WAS my fault for ordering that drink. But I was at a bar... Who orders a water or something NON-alcoholic at a bar?

josh: yeah.. Sarah Palin was being played by a fat, short, asian gay guy... sigh. Thanks for the kind words, Josh. You're awesome! And vomit on the penis?? Horrible mental image! YUCK!

Seth: You know.. I had suggested dinner/coffee and a movie. But I guess he didn't listen to that either. I mean, the protest sounded fun... but also, when he asked me, I wasn't going to say NO to helping out the community. What kind of douche would I sound like if I did that?

And thank you for the lecture. I'm never doing that again. It was definitely UNSAFE and I felt like I was going to die about 5 times. But yes... lesson learned. And I also do hope that my next date will be much better!!

SMILE, tears, Protest/Date

Man my day was a long one yesterday. Started the day out early (7am) and got to work by 8am to pretty much wait around for 4-5 hours. At least I got paid during this time. Finally, at 1pm, they were ready for us and I "took the stage." They were filming for the Walt Disney World Christmay Day Parade special that airs on ABC on Christmas Day. I think I got some good camera time. Depends on if they edit me out or not... but I guess you can try and look for me. ;)

After that, I had to rush home quickly to get changed for my friend's wedding. OH, I mentioned her before. "Oh-Girl" = Rachel. Got to the Korean temple right at 3:55 and the ceremony started at 4:00. It was such a beautiful ceremony. When she walked down the aisle, I couldn't help but tear up. She looked BEAUTIFUL and was soo happy. I can just see the glow from her face. And just knowing that these two people loved each other so much that they were willing to show everyone in attendance their love - it just made me cry. And as they held each others hands up there, and repeatd their vows, I cried again. And it was pretty bad. Like tears down my face and snot coming out of my nose... (ok that was gross). But you get the idea. How embarassing... But I was genuinely happy for the two. What did upset me a little was the Officiant talking about marriage between a man and a woman, and how that was intended by God. Just didn't want to think about all the Prop 8 drama at that time, but of course it was inevitable. I really just wanted to be there and be happy for my two friends. Thankfully, I was able to let the drama go and just enjoy the wedding.

The reception was great. Very laid back, buffet style. And Robin, Rachel's HUSBAND!, created the slideshow - and it was the most amazing slideshow that I haThe d EVER seen!! It was seriously SOOO good! Awesome transitions and great music. OMG! I want to know what program he used because I'm making a slideshow for work and mine looks like 1st grade crap compared to his. ARGH!!! I neeeeed to find out what he used.

I left the wedding around 7:15pm or so. I gave my date, George, a call to tell him that I'm leaving the wedding to go home and get dressed to see if he still wanted to do anything. This was the first time I was hearing his voice because we had only conversed online and in texts before. He sounded like a sweet guy. He asked if instead of going out to a movie if I wanted to help out the community instead. Of course, he was talking about the No on Prop 8 protests that have been going on all around the Greater Los Angeles area. I said, SURE. I thought it would be fun. My first protest of any kind ever! Bound to be an interesting time.

So I got home, got dressed. TOTALLY nervous, by the way. Haven't been on a date in forever. However, this wouldn't really count as one, since we were going out to a protest... not the most romantic thing ever. So I had posted on Facebook that I was "really nervous" as my status. My friend from work, Kelly, IMs me on AIM to ask me why.

Kelly: What are you nervous about?

Doug: I have a date.

Kelly: Ooooh. When?

Doug: Like soon. Tonight.

Kelly: May I ask with whom?

Doug: yeah, but I don't think you know him...

Kelly: Oh, ok. Haha what are you two lovebirds doing?

Doug: um, we're going to the Silverlake protest, I guess. How's that for a first date huh?

Kelly: Haha.

Well... it goes on after that. We just talk about the No on Prop 8 stuff. And then I casually thank her for being so cool with it. Well, again... it was online... jeez... but she is the first girl and first straight person that I've told. However, she's a big fan of the gays. So I had no problems telling her. In fact, everyone at work is a big fan of the gays... so I really have no problems telling people at work anymore. I just don't want to jump around work and yell "I'm GAY!" or whatever... but if people find out, then cool. I don't care about that anymore. :)

So, George picks me up around 8:30? 8:45? I get in the car. Nice looking white guy. He's 27, so a little older than me. I get in and we shake hands. lol. He offered first. I guess it's sort of hard to hug when he's in the car driving. And we drive off to Los Angeles. Long drive. And it was what I dreaded most. You see... I'm not a talkative person. And it tends to get even worse when I'm nervous and with people that I don't know. So I was just hoping that he would be a really talkative person and ask lots of questions. Unfortuantely, it wasn't like that and there were quite a few awkward silences. sigh.... Weird. But we still had some conversations about what we do, where we went to school, blah blah. The usual. But the more I found out, the less I was interested in him. That kinda sucked.

He's a waiter and a bartender. But he's not going to school. I can relate to having a job that you like and not wanting to move on... but I also believe an education is quite important. He also had a noticeable lisp. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I just couldn't date anyone with a lisp. It may very well be a legitimate speech impediment for him, but I just can't disassociate lisps with super gay. And I'm not looking for anyone that's over the top gay. He wasn't over the top, but he was definitely over my comfort line. Don't get wrong, I LOVE my gay friends. And that's what they are, my good friends. But I would never date them.

So we got to the area where the protest was supposed to be happening. Unfortunately, we saw a lot of people walking on the sidewalk in random clumps. He rolled down the window to ask one of them about it and she said that the cops kinda broke it up and people were leaving. She said they MAY still be protesting but it would be all the way down the street now. So we drove a little while longer looking for it, but then decided to give up. We did honk and cheer for the people still walking on the sidewalks though. That was fun. :)

We drove out to West Hollywood and decided on Fiesta Cantina. I ordered a rum and Coke.. but they had a special on doubles, so they made mine a double and that was a BIG mistake.. The drink was like, a drop of Coke so that it would be the color of Coke, but then everything else was rum... I took a sip and already knew I would be in trouble. We walked upstairs to the patio, where we bump into ond of his "Alternative Lifestyle Assistants." LOL. That's his term for "fag hag." Guess he wants to trademark it. She is this loud, big, black woman. FUNNY but TALKS forever. So basically, I was there, with George, the girl, and her gay friend. Apparently, they used to work at Disney too. Super small world. Or I guess all of Disney just decides to hang out at WeHo. But she talks up a storm and it's basically her talking the whole night. I sit there, just listening, hardly talking. Because, remember.. I don't do well with new people. George sort of tries to include me in some conversation, but I don't make it easy on him. I'm such a horrible date.

I take sips out of my rum and Coke. But the strong taste isn't really doing well for me. So I try to take bigger gulps and just have it slide down my throat fast. Guess that was a REALLY bad idea. And then the girl and her friend is smoking and its getting all in my face. People around me are smoking, and I start getting a headache. OY... Bad all around. After a while, these three guys come up and talks to us. Introduces themselves as Corey, Grant, and Sarah Palin. Yeah... Sarah Palin. He continues to impersonate Palin the whole night... and HORRIBLY might I add. I have no idea what he was doing. Stupid drunk gay. But Corey was real cute. Tall, skinny but not too skinny, buzzed head, and just good looking. ;) I felt horrible checking him out while I was on a date... but George wasn't really being a good date either I guess. After a while of talking, Corey and his group decide to leave the bar to go to the clubs. The Alternative Lifestyle Assistant also decides to go to a different bar with her friend. So George and I decide that we should go too.

By the way, I've only had 1/4 of the glass of rum and Coke. I get up to walk out of the bar... and I seriously could NOT walk in a straight line for the first few steps. LOL. I make my way down the stairs without stumbling and I walk out the bar as I pass by several REALLY hot guys. We walk back towards the car and the fresh air away from the smoke really helped. I felt a little better, but I still had a headache and started to get this feeling in my stomach that was NOT good.

We started driving back and I could NOT stay awake. It was horrible. And I felt like I needed to throw up so I really wanted to just pass out and sleep it off. But then, I noticed him kinda swerving and not staying in the lanes. And I was like, "You alright?" He tells me he got real tired all of a sudden. And we still had about a 30 minute drive. So I was seriously holding on for dear life as he almost got into an accident about 4 times. Woke me up right away! I tried to keep him talking. I asked him questions. And I tried to create conversations. But he wasn't really helping me. I was scared for my life. All the while wanting to throw up.

So we finally get off the freeway after being completely scared out of my mind. He gets to the intersection and he tries to turn left, and I was like, "Oh, I'm to the right." And right after I said that, I realized that he wanted to take me back to his place. Ooops. I kind of felt bad. But really, I didn't feel up to anything AT ALL. I wanted to throw up at that point and I just needed to get home. He drops me off, and I give him a hug and a kiss of the cheek. I tell him I'd give him a call some time. I get out of the car, say goodnight and tell him to text me when he makes it home safely, and shut the door.

I didn't end up throwing up or anything. A nice warm shower helped. But that was my first date! Not the best date ever.... I can see him being a good friend, but nothing more than that. Just not my type, really. But I'm glad I made the effort to get out there. Hopefully there will be more prospects for me soon.

Freakin' NERVOUS!

Oh. My. Gah-----
If you only knew how nervous I am right now! I'm about to get picked up to go on my date with George. He's the guy that I met online. And we're going to the Prop 8 Protest in Silverlake (near Hollywood) where there's apparently thousands of people marching right now. Not the most romantic first date, but I really admire his passion and willingness to volunteer and voice out for the cause. And I'm kind of excited to participate in my first protest too!

But yeah - he's picking me up in a few minutes, and I'm a wreck! I guess I'll update you guys when I get back!! Wish me luck! EEEK!!

Money, Gum, and a Date

Since I slept at 4:30am the night before, I don't wake up until 12:30pm. So there goes half the day. Upon waking up, I feel compelled to check my bank account and am horrified to find that I have no money. Well, not horrified, because I already knew that I had no money in the first place. But it puts me in a spiral of depression because I have no money and don't have a real job and can't afford anything.

What makes me even more depressed is that I know I'm going to have to call up Mom to ask her for help. You see, my Mom and Dad were the ones that insisted on me living alone in a nice place. So it really isn't my fault that I can't afford rent. They help me out each month, but this month, they didn't give me nearly as much. And I wanted to be independent and not ask for the help, but it looks like that's not possible right now. I am waiting for my paycheck from my second job but it hasn't arrived yet so I need the money ASAP. I write an email of desperation to Mom:

Mom,
Is there any way you can transfer some extra money into my account? The money you gave me this month isn't enough. Work right now is slow but it'll pick up during the Christmas season. And also my second job still hasn't paid me, so I need some money in the bank account now to pay off my bills. Thank you.
Love,
Doug

After writing the email, I still think that I need more money. So I decide to email my sister to ask her for money since she's paying me to take her online traffic school for her:

Sister,
Can I get the money upfront? I need the money ASAP to pay bills. Thank you.
Doug

Well, 2 minutes later, I get an email from her back:

Ask Mom for the money the next time you're around.

And not only did she not agree to give me the money, she CCs my Mom her reply back. So now my Mom knows I'm really desperate for money and asking around for it. ARGH! My sister is such a bitch some times! What the heck is wrong with her? Do any of you have siblings? Do they stab you in the back like that? I wish I had a sister that was on my side!

The rest of the day is pretty bland. I sit at home and watch TV. Then I go to work for all of 3 hours. I do head to Target after work because I have to return something. I walk in, hoping to see the cute boy that works at the registers. And BINGO, he's there! So I make my return, and then I walk into the store, desperately trying to remember what I needed to buy so that I can go go to his checkstand. I walk the whole entire store and can't remember what I needed!! Finally, I pass by the gum/candy aisle and take a big pack of Eclipse gum (that I keep in the car) and then head over to the cash registers. I stand in his line, staring at him the whole time. His name is Abraham. He has dark hair, dark eyes, and a cute smile. It's almost my turn in line, and then I realize I look like an idiot only buying a pack of gum at Target, so I quickly look over at the candies on the side and grab a bar of Toblerone chocolate. (YUM!)

When it's my turn, he looks up at me and says "Hi. How are you?" I say I'm fine, and I continue to look at him. "$4.82, please." Ok... so I hand him a $20 bill. He makes the change, takes the receipt, places them in my hand, and says, "Thank you, have a good night," all with a smile on his face. :) I smile, and I walk out the store.

Isn't it pathetic that I had to go find something to buy just to check out cute boys? Sigh...

I guess I'm working on that though. A few days ago, I was on gay.com and someone sent me an instant message through their new Messenger thing. We talked about Prop 8 and I found out that he was a head volunteer working at the polls. I really admired all the work he was doing for it. Although we didn't get the results we wanted, it's great to know that so many people cared and that we did all that we could. Anyway, been talking to him online now (we have each others' AIM) and I think we might be going on a date on Saturday night. Only problem is I have a wedding to attend that day. It starts at 4pm, but I don't know when it will end. But I'm thinking it won't end THAT late. We can maybe do something at night for the date. He had suggested going to see Changeling in the theaters. But when I told Miles, he said it was a horrible idea. Dates should be used to get to know the other person, and a movie doesn't allow for that at all. So I messaged him and asked if he would want to do dinner or something before the movie. He said "possibly." Don't know what that means... But I explained to him that I wanted to get to know more about him, and being inside a movie theater won't let me do that. And then he agreed. I told him that I would give him a call on Saturday to let him know when I would be free after the wedding.

So yeah -- I guess I have a date! I'm really nervous actually. I just don't think I do well with new people. I find it hard to talk with someone I don't know. I don't know what to talk about most of the time. And I'm such a boring person that there's not much to talk about. So I'm just worried that it's going to be a real awkward time. Hopefully he'll do a lot of the talking or something. Argh -- I haven't been on a date since the night with Jamie. And that's with someone that I kinda already knew. And so if we don't count Jamie, I haven't been on a real date with someone new in 6 years. What the hell!? I'm gonna be a horrible date.... but wish me luck any way.

Closure #2: The Response

J wrote to me this morning while at work.

This past weekend, his ex called him to tell him that he has fallen in love with someone else. This boyfriend had left for school in Amsterdam a few months ago and through mutual friends, J found out that he had been cheating on him while over there. And all this time, the guy didn't contact him. And then this weekend he calls him not to tell him that they weren't right for each other, but that he had fallen IN LOVE with someone else. That really hurt J.

And so he told me that this was definitely not the right time for him to be entering in a long distance relationship. Of course, I was prepared for that. But like I said before, I feel like now I have tried everything and said everything that I wanted him to hear. I still told him that I'm not losing hope for the possibility of the two of us getting together later down the road. And I'm hoping that he'll take me up on my offer for a shoulder to lean on. Hopefully he'll give me a call so that we can talk.

Sigh... I really need to move on. Any single guys out there want to date me? lol.

THE Reason for Starting the Blog

There's always some reason for actually starting something new, and in the case of this blog, it's a boy. And I just want a place to talk it out. Maybe writing it out will hepl me see more clearly, answer some of my questions. I'm not necessarily asking for advice from readers, but if I get readers, I would love to hear what you guys think. But I'm getting ahead of myself... here's what's happened in a past few days.

Last Saturday, I received a "smile" on a gay internet dating site. Usually, I ignore them because there is no message attached to "smiles." But for some reason, I decided to check out the profile of the smiler. Getting into the profile, I don't see any description, any pictures... just some stats. Usually, I ignore profiles with no description or pictures. But for some reason, I decided to reply back. And I'm so glad I made that decision. It started off like any other messages back and forth on a dating site. But soon, I could tell that there was more to this guy than just looking to screw around.

Ah.... sidebar.... I don't screw around. I've been on the dating site for a while now, but have not met up with anyone. Guess I'm way too nervous. But I've been on the site looking for people to chat with - and before this guy, it's been pretty much a bust. Anyway, back to regularly scheduled posting....

He actually wanted to talk, asked me about my day, talked to me about random things, and I was having a great time just chatting. Soon, we exchanged emails, in which we were able to talk more in depth about different things. Also, we swapped pics. CUTE! Pretty soon, we talked about what we did, and he told me he worked for a big entertainment company that's both in California and Florida... Yes, the same entertainment company that I work for. Small world. However, he's stationed in Florida and travels out to California for special projects.

We also talked about my being closeted and the idea of coming out. This led to his story and his coming out and I felt so thrilled that someone was sharing their story with me. I had not had anyone to open up to and it was great to just talk about it someone. This made me interested in him even more. Then, surprisingly, he invited me over to watch some TV. And it got real REAL fast. Like I said, I had never met up with anyone online before and though I felt really comfortable talking to him online, meeting up was a different thing. But he assured me that he was a cool guy and if I really was uncomfortable, I could just leave. So, weighing the pros and cons all the way up to his hotel room, I finally decided to take the plunge and knock on his door.

He opened the door, and boy was he cute, and immediately gave me a giant hug. Good start. He invited me in, offered me some water, and we sat down and watched TV. For the next hour and a half, we just chatted about everything. I had such a great time talking about nothing, everything. And as we talked, we sat closer and closer together. Soon, my knee touched his knee, and my leg touched his leg. I let me hand drop beside his hand and he locked his fingers with mine. I felt so incredibly comfortable with him. And did I mention this was my first time being this close with another guy? But I didn't care. It felt completely natural and was what I wanted. We rested our heads on each other and before I knew it, we were kissing. And wow what a great feeling that was. He was so gentle, and a great kisser. :)

In short, the night was a great one. Yes, things did get physical and it was amazing. But the best part was cuddling beside each other and falling asleep in each others arms. I had a great night's sleep. And I felt like such a lucky guy to have had him to cuddle up to. The next morning, he had to get ready for his last day of work out here in California. I watched him get ready: ironing his shirt, shaving, getting dressed, packing up. He was so damn cute. But he really was leaving and we gave each other one last kiss and we said goodbye. We promised to email each other as we left.

I walked away with a big smile on my face, thinking about what a great night I had. I got home, and after some breakfast, I got on my computer and wrote him an email expressing how much fun I had.

Unfortunately, I had to wait an entire day to get a reply from him. He had a long flight and a long day before he had time to write an email back. In the email, he also thanked me for an amazing night. And he agreed that cuddling was the best part of the night. And after receiving the email, I was on cloud nine that he felt the same way, and I wrote him back a reply.

But that was a two days ago. No reply from my cute boy. I read the email more carefully, and he wrote this:

In the right time and place, I would totally date you. I can tell that your a guy looking for something with substance. Only time will tell and lead you down the path to happiness. I may have a trip to Pairs in mid September and then back to Anaheim in October.

Please keep in touch and let me know how things are going.

I didn't even think anything of the first sentence when I read it because when we were sitting and chatting in his hotel room, he had mentioned that he'd "totally date me." And I just thought he was repeating himself. But now, I'm not so sure. "In the RIGHT TIME AND PLACE..." Is he trying to cut things off with me? Or is he really just repeating himself? Does it just mean that we live so far away that nothing can really happen?

I'm pretty much freaking out right now. I want to just keep emailing him, telling him about my day and that I think about him pretty much constantly... but I know that would just totally scare him away. I mean, yeah, I definitely understand that having a relationship with each other would probably not work out since we live hundreds of miles away from each other, but why no emails back? And I can't imagine him being such an "asshole" guy as to not email me back at all. I just don't understand what's going on.

I'll wait a day or two more, but I'm hoping I won't have to wait too much longer. But until then, I'll be checking my email every single second of every day. What do you guys think it all means?